pishufics

[pishufics]

i feel bad because yall + my ao3 readers are waiting for the next chapter of study dates and it’s taking a while :(

i’m sorry for that, school has been keeping me busy

i’ve written a bit of chapter 3, but nothing close to being done

it was originally going to be a one shot so now i don’t know how to end it

i kind of have an idea? i’ll work on it so it can be a cute ending though

anyway yeah i didn’t want to leave yall confused as to where i went i’m still here 😭 thank you for all the sweet comments on my work :’) <3

i’ll keep writing for y’all i won’t abandon my fics

[pishufics]

because i love you

pairing - bertholdt hoover x reader

tags - angst, fluff, reminiscing, i’m sorry armin + the scouts, canon divergence

warnings - aot s3 part 2 spoilers

a/n - hearing bertholdt calling out for help hurt me so i wrote about saving him

gender neutral reader

ao3

If you do this, you’ll be a traitor. You have to think it through. What happens next?

In front of you lies a syringe with the Titan serum, a charred Armin Arlert, and a dismembered Bertholdt Hoover. You know what the plan is. You knew that this outcome was a possibility when the Scouts first acquired the liquid. You thought you had accepted this, but now that it’s happening, you couldn’t.

You knew you couldn’t bear to watch the love of your life get eaten by a titan.

So now what? How could you save Bertholdt? Was there any way to do that safely? Armin was one of your closest friends, as well— you didn’t want him to die, either. But, in the end, you would always side with Bertholdt. Your heart knew as such, but it was a hard realization. After all, he is the Colossal Titan.

The Colossal Titan that broke Wall Maria. The giant that killed thousands. The being that led to the downfall of living in the walls. That was all Bertholdt Hoover.

But, he was also your lover. The man who was too shy to talk to you at first; who got flustered when you started a conversation. The man who was always around, as if he was protecting you from harm. The man who helped you train and land a spot in the top 10; but accepted your choice to join the Scouts, and followed suit.

The man who would always help you during training; who would sneak out after lights out to go see you. The man who would smile at the sight of you and fill with happiness every time he made you laugh. The man who was blushing like crazy after he asked you out;  who was thrilled when you reciprocated his feelings.

Bertholdt Hoover, the man you had your first kiss with. It was short, but sweet. Full of emotion. The man who kissed you almost nonstop after the initial one— forehead kisses were his favorite. The man you lost your virginity to.

The surprisingly affectionate man, given his shyness.

The man who loved you. The man you loved.

You could never truly hate him, even after what he did. Did you forgive him? No. How could you? He sent humanity into chaos. Hell, he was a monster. But, he was still Bertholdt, the man who had your heart.

You weren’t ready to say goodbye. You just couldn’t. Not yet.

You watched as Levi took the syringe out of the case and moved over to where the burnt boy laid. It pained you to see him like that. However, it would crush you even more to see him as a titan, eating the man you loved.

The others on the roof were intensely focused on the captain and were paying no mind to you. Your next actions would hurt like hell, but you couldn’t sit and do nothing.

You shifted to get up. You didn’t actually know what you were planning to do, but before you could even think of anything, you feel a cold, small hand on your wrist.

“Stop.” Mikasa sternly whispered. “...I know this is hard, since you...have feelings for Bertholdt, but this has to happen. You know it does.”

You sadly nodded.

Of course, you knew that. But you weren’t going to accept it.

You made the decision that Armin was going to die today. You had absolutely no right to make that decision, but you did.

Armin would have to die as a titan. As sick as the thought of your comrades having to kill him as a titan made you, you just had to do it.

You and your fellow scouts watched as Levi injected the serum into the once blond boy, pushed him off the roof, and waited for it to take effect. You teared up, as you knew this would be the last time you could sit with the Scouts, united.

You found yourself reflecting on your time in the 104th Cadet Corps. Training with the others, practicing combat skills. You happened to be the most efficient with the ODM gear— in a race, you’d win by a landslide.

You remembered sitting in the dining hall, laughing at a joke Connie made or trying to hold Sasha back from a cut of meat. Talking with your roommates about your past and hopeful future. Graduating, joining the Scouts, and getting the chance to join the Special Operations Squad with your best friends. Getting your first titan kill. Going on missions.

Hopeful that humanity could one day beat the titans.

The Scouts were there for you when Bertholdt and Reiner were revealed as the Colossal and Armored Titans. Your friends comforted you as you cried and screamed with anger and betrayal.

You were part of a family, and it would be over because of your selfish decision.

Everyone on the roof watched as Armin turned from human to titan. Seeing Armin in that state filled you with sadness.

‘I’m sorry.’ You thought.

‘I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.’

The giant blond creature stomped over to the building Bertholdt was lying on. It looked like he had just woken up. You winced as the large, skinny hand grabbed onto the man you loved.

Bertholdt was frantic in his attempts to escape the titan’s grasp, failing due to his lack of limbs. You made eye contact with your terrified lover.

“Guys! Help me!” Bertholdt pleaded.

“I’m so, so sorry,” You whispered, crying.

You chose Bertholdt.

Before anyone could register what was happening, the sound of cables shooting filled the area. Tears in your eyes, you rushed over, grabbed Bertholdt, and made your way over the wall.

You used your gift with ODM to your gross advantage. Somehow, you still had some gas left, and you knew that everyone else was out. You were disgusted with yourself, but...you still had Bertholdt. That meant everything to you.

Your limbless lover was on your side, arm wrapped around him. It was uncomfortable, but it worked. You maneuvered to a forest with high trees. After finding the most elevated one to avoid titans, you sat down and laid Bertholdt on your lap.

Bertholdt was, to say it simply, shocked. You saved him.

“...Why? Why would you do that, Y/N?”

Good question. Why did you do that?

You knew that the chance of you succeeding was slim, even though you were fast. There were many corpses around from the encounter with the Beast Titan; there has to be some usable gas canisters. So, why?

Maybe it was because you couldn’t say goodbye to Bertholdt’s hugs and kisses. Perhaps you couldn’t part with his adorable laugh or weird sleeping positions; or how he was always protective of you. Maybe you just wanted more time— even a small amount of it— with him. You thought of every little reason, but it all amounted to one.

You moved your lover’s now disheveled bangs out of his face, looked down into his soft green eyes, and kissed his forehead.

“...Because I love you, Bertholdt.”

The black-haired boy gazed at you with pure admiration and sadness. You sacrificed your life as you know it for him. You didn’t know anything about Marley, the Warrior program, or his situation...but you risked everything to save him. Tears filled his eyes as he softly smiled.

“I love you too, Y/N. Thank you.”

---

did armin and the scouts dirty with this one

tried something a little different with my writing style, sorry if it was repetitive hope you enjoyed :)

[pishufics]

study date(s)

"Bertholdt knows that he needs to start trying. It’s junior year, and he’d rather not stay stuck in the same class next year as a senior. If he fails the next test, he’s in some shit. So, he's going to ask you for help."

pairing - bertholdt hoover x reader

tags - high school au, fluff, humor, texting

warnings - none

author’s note -  this was just a one shot but i kept writing lol it kind of switches between you and bertholdt, but i don't directly say his thoughts, it's kind of like 2nd person omniscient if that's even a thing LOL

lmk how the texting reads, i'll change it if it's weird

reblogs and comments are appreciated ! mwah

ao3 

chapter 1 - two days

reinah: I swear if you don’t just ASK her

Do you want to be held back?

bertoto: relax okay i’ll do it :(

r: Okay, okay

Lmk how it goes

b: i never said i was asking today

Bertholdt sighs and locks his phone once he sees Reiner start to type a reply.

Bertholdt is struggling with English, which surprises him. He’s a good student in every other class, but the moment Mr. Ackermann starts talking, he finds himself dozing off, missing the lecture. Recently, though, he’s awake in class, but still not paying attention. All his focus is on you, who sat in the middle of the classroom while he sat in the back, due to his height (he didn’t really mind, though; better chance of not getting caught asleep).

One day, due to some miraculous occurrence, the short, stern teacher actually had the boy’s attention, but not for long.

“Does anyone have number three?” Mr. Ackermann asked. Bertholdt definitely didn’t. He hoped someone would raise their hand so the teacher wouldn’t resort to calling a random name.

To his relief, you did.

“I think what the author was trying to convey was…”

Bertholdt didn’t really get what you were saying, but he admired your intelligence. You knew the material and could explain it in detail, while he couldn’t even recall the book's name in question.

He started to admire more of your traits - he gazed as you would lightly, but briskly, tap your foot in frustration when you didn’t know an answer and smile at the way your face relaxed when you finally got it. Seeing your motivation in class kickstarted his.

Bertholdt knows that he needs to start trying. It’s junior year, and he’d rather not stay stuck in the same class next year as a senior. If he fails the next test, he’s in some shit.

So, he's going to ask you for help.

...Tomorrow.

-

“Girl, I don’t have any more fucking gum. I drove up to Costco, bought the value sized pack, and you somehow managed to chew all of it.” You say exasperatedly, shutting your locker.

Sasha pouts. “Are you sureeee? There’s prolly half a stick left in your front pocket…”

You swat her hand away. “There’s. Nothing. Left. I promise.” She continues to stare at your bag.

“Fuckin-” You mutter, reaching into your bag and pulling out a snack-size bag of Cheezits. They’re one of your favorite snacks, but you know you can’t win when it comes to Sasha and food. You reluctantly hand the bag to her.

“Thanks, y/n!” She smiles and tears open the bag.

“Yknow, you can be annoying as shit, Sasha.”

She winks at you and eats her stolen prize. You turn to leave and head to 3rd period. English.

Hm. You’re usually greeted by your other best friend around now-

“Yeoooo!!” Oh, there he is. Connie daps you up before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. “What’s good?”

“I don’t really wanna go to 3rd," you answer. "Sasha stole my Cheezits."

“Does anyone really wanna go to any class? And that's your fault, you know you can't bring food without Sasha's fatass taking it,” Connie replies, and Sasha punches his shoulder.

“Okay, I know...have you started studying for the test?”

He blankly stares at you. Guess not. You have the same teacher, but different periods, so you can’t keep an eye on him.

“Nevermind. I’ll see y’all later.” You throw up a peace sign and head in the opposite direction.

It’s not like you’re bad at English, but you just don’t like school in general. You go to class to get your participation grade, then go home.

There might be another reason you tolerate 3rd period, though, and it isn’t the professor. (He is pretty fine, but he's an adult, so you don’t let your thoughts escalate).

-

Mr. Ackermann didn’t like assigning things online, so most of the work in this class was on paper, contrasting your other classes where everything was digital. Kind of annoying, but you’ve learned to deal with it.

You mainly use mechanical pencils because you hate the way wooden ones write, but one day, to your slight dismay, you forgot them at home. Just your luck.

There’s a container of pencils and a sharpener in the back of the classroom, so you stand up to go retrieve one and notice a tall boy asleep in a desk not too far back from yours.

Bertholdt Hoover.

You knew him, of course. You find it a little rude to not know your classmates' names; you’ve dealt with numerous “who?”s in previous years and don’t want to put anyone through that, so you make sure to pay attention during introductions.

You chuckle at sight. The class has barely even started, and the guy is already dozing. In an awkward position, at that. One of his long legs is across the other, cramped underneath the desk. His head was laying on his right arm with his left against his hair. You thought to wake him up, but he looked so peaceful, you couldn't bring yourself to do it, plus, it's not your business. Mr Ackermann somehow didn't notice either, so Bertholdt always had a good rest in 3rd period English.

Every time you walked into class, you checked to see what weird position he would be sleeping in. You found yourself looking forward to it- he looked kinda cute when he was sleeping- but he stopped one day. You were a little disappointed, but glad to know that he was starting to pay attention in class. You still glanced at him as you walked in- he's a pretty attractive guy. No harm in just looking...

-

You shrug your backpack off and sit at your desk, stretching your legs out a bit. The walk from your locker to this classroom was kind of far. You reach into your bag, get your mechanical pencil out, and wait for Mr Ackermann to pass out the first assignment.

Just then, you hear someone walk up to your desk, and you glance over.

‘Oh, it’s Bertholdt. I don’t think we’ve ever spoken.’ You feel your face heat up, wondering what he wanted from you.

“Hey, y/n…” He nervously starts.

“Hey. Need something?”

“Yeah, actually...about the upcoming test.”

You hum in curiosity. “What about it?”

He clears his throat. “I’m lowkey failing this class, and if I mess up this test, I’ll have to retake this class next year. Do you think you could, uh…”

Bertholdt inhales in an attempt to calm himself down. It doesn’t really work.

“Could you help me study?” Phew. He managed to get it out pretty well and made a mental note to give himself a pat on the back later. But he hasn’t fully succeeded yet; you still need to agree.

You weren't opposed to the idea. You kind of figured he would be struggling in class a bit since he used to sleep all the time. It’s alright with you, and you wouldn’t mind a potential new friend. Sasha and Connie were exhausting at times.

“Yeah, sure. When?” You pause. “Actually, just text me.” You hold out your hand, asking for his phone.

Bertholdt was practically shaking in his sneakers as he reached into his pocket and handed you his unlocked phone with the contacts app open. You actually agreed! And you were giving him your number! Reiner was going to be so proud, he smiled to himself.

As you type in your info, you appreciate the cleanliness of his phone. That shows you that he’s at least hygienic.

“Aight. Here you go,” you return his device. “See you later.” You smile.

Bertholdt can’t believe this is happening.

Mr Ackermann’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “Oi, Hoover. Sit down.”

Startled, he jumps back a bit at the sudden acknowledgement. He was focused on you and tuned everything else out.

“Sorry, sir.” Bertholdt gives you a quick grin and turns to go back to his desk. Once he sits, he looks down at the new contact:

y/n :)

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Bertholdt can’t help but smile. Just seeing your name and number on his screen made him giddy, and he thought that the smiley face you added was adorable.

His thoughts are interrupted yet again, but not by the teacher. He looks down at his phone, which just buzzed.

| Messages

reinah

Did you do it yet bruh

Good timing. Bertholdt taps on the notification and goes to type a reply, but decides to send him a screenshot of your contact…with your number scribbled out. Reiner was a flirt, and he didn’t want to risk anything.

r: YOOOOOOOOOO HOLY SHIT U ACTUALLY DID IT

Bertholdt rolls his eyes and puts his phone in his backpack. He was going to pay attention- for real - today. He didn't want to seem too clueless when you tutored him.

“Can anyone tell me what rhetorical strategy is being used here?” Mr. Ackermann asked.

Bertholdt certainly could not. But that was changing soon, with your help.

--

“Okaay, we got Ms. Tutor over here now,” Sasha smiles in between bites of a burger.

“Do you even know how to, like, teach, though?” Connie gives you a skeptical look.

“It prolly isn’t too hard. All I gotta do is help him study. If he needs help understanding a concept, I’ll just explain it,” you defend yourself. “We still have two weeks. Ion mind making flashcards or something.”

“You’re getting into it, huh?” Sasha laughs.

Your face heats in embarrassment. “Girl, you know it isn’t like that.”

“And why not? You’re always bitching about how lonely you are. High school isn’t gonna last forever…” she replies.

“I have no recollection of saying anything like that.” You glare. But she isn’t exactly wrong. You’d like to experience the “high school romance” you’ve heard so much about, and Bertholdt is pretty cute. It’s not like dating is a significant concern, though.

“I’m always here as an option, y/n,” Connie winks as he takes a sip of his soda.

“Hell nah.”

Across the cafeteria, Bertholdt is trying to eat a sandwich, but Reiner won’t leave him alone. He was right about Reiner being proud, but Bertholdt almost forgot how persistent the jock could get.

“I didn’t think you had the balls, dude. I was ready to see English 3 on your schedule again next year,” He grins, arm around his taller friend's shoulders.

“...Can I eat?” Bertholdt sighs and shrugs his friend away.

“Have you texted her yet? What day are you gonna hang out with her? You gonna bring her anything? Flowers or somethin’? Girls like that kinda stuff.”

Bertholdt didn’t really think that was true.

“First off, no, not yet. I need to see when I can actually go. Second, no, I am not bringing her anything. I didn’t say it was a date. She’s going to help me study.”

“Fine, man. At least try to seem more interesting, yknow, so she can like...be interested in you.”

“Are you saying I’m boring? Ouch,” He jokingly pouts and rolls his eyes at Reiner’s double usage of ‘interesting.’

“You said it, not me.”

“Okay, I don’t wanna hear that from you...if it came from Annie, then I’d believe it.” Bertholdt looks in the blonde’s direction. She took a bite from her burger, looked up from her phone, and shrugged.

“Damn, for real?” Bertholdt sinks. He didn’t think he was that dull. He did lots of interesting stuff, like…

Like…

Bertholdt sighs in defeat.

“It’s fine. Maybe y/n likes boring,” Bertholdt huffs, taking another bite from his sandwich.

“Yeah, okay, keep telling yourself that and see where it gets you…” Reiner mumbles.

“Come again?”

“Nothing, man…”

School's been over for an hour or two. You’re aimlessly scrolling through your phone when you feel a buzz, and glance towards the top of the screen.

| Messages

xxx-xxx-xxxx

hey

it’s bertholdt 😁

where should we meet up?

Your heart starts to beat a little faster. ‘Relax, girl… don't act like he's asking you out or something,’ you tell yourself.

y/n: hey!

how abt the library?

+  what day/ time works for you?

You add his number to your contacts as you wait for his response.

bertholdt :^)

is saturday at 3 okay?

y/n: yep

do you need a ride or anything?

b: no, but thank you

see you then ☺️

y/n: alrighty :)

You smile at his use of emojis, send what he requested, then swipe down on your screen to check the day (what? It's normal to forget sometimes.) Wednesday. Two days.

You feel like it would be awkward to study with Bertholdt considering you aren’t really friends, so you decide to text him a little more so it isn't too bad when the day arrives.

----

“See? That wasn’t so hard!” Reiner exclaims. “You could’ve tried to talk to her more, but it went good!”

“I think it would’ve been weird if I did say anything else. Best to leave it at that…” Bertholdt exclaims, trying to calm himself down. He had two days.

He wonders what he should do now. Study so he could impress you? Do something to make himself seem more interesting? What would he even do...?

Bertholdt taps back onto the conversation to reread it for the 6th time. Was there anything he could’ve said different? Should he try asking you someth-

Oh, wait-? You’re typing?

“Oh shit- Dude, she’s saying something else. What do I do?” He begins to panic. Did you suddenly decide he wasn’t worth your time? Were you cancelling?

y/n: sooo

how’s your day been?

Whaaaaaatttt?? You actually...care to ask?

Bertholdt stared at his phone in surprise.

“What’d she say? Cmon! Don’t just look, dude!”

“She...asked how my day’s been-”

“-You gotta reply now! You were on the chat when she said it, so she knows you’ve read it!” Reiner urges.

Shit. He doesn't have enough time to think of a good reply.

good, but better since i’m texting you 😉|

The hell? No, that’s weird. And too soon. He tries again...

pretty good, thanks!

kinda stressing over the test, haha

how’s your day going?

There we go. He twiddles his thumbs as he waits for your reply.

y/n :)

oh, dw, it’ll be fine !

my day was okay

sasha took my last bag of cheez its :(

b: ah, i'm sorry abt that :(

+ yeah, you're right

have you as my tutor :)

“Nice job man! That was...kinda flirty? You’ll get there!” Reiner ruffles his hair in encouragement, and Bertholdt shoos him away. He stares at his phone in anticipation. Was that too much?

----

i have you as my tutor :)

You lean your head on your pillow and feel your face heat up at the compliment ( was that a compliment?)

It’s not like you’re dumb, so he’s not wrong to think that. Your lips curl into a smile as you reread the message. But how do you reply? Should you compliment him back? You don’t really know.

if you’re saying i’m smart, thank you :))

hoping that wasn't sarcasm lol

You wait a minute, and he doesn’t reply, so you decide to ask another question.

is there anything specific you wanna focus on?

You cringe at the double texting, but hope that it doesn't make him think you're weird. You swipe away from the conversation and scroll on various apps as you wait.

b: ofc it wasn’t sarcasm, you're really smart, y/n!

i'm mainly struggling with rhetorical strategies and logical fallacies, but i could

use a general review too

if that's okay with you

You bury your almost overheating face into your pillow. Why is something like that getting you flustered, you wonder. You sit up, take a deep breath, and focus on the second part of his message. You're pretty good with what he needs work on, and a general review should be easy to put together.

y/n :) okay, we can focus on the first 2 on saturday

we can review the unit on other days

see you at school:)

At this point, you really don’t know how this conversation could go any further, so you ended it. Bertholdt returns your goodbye.

You exhale and sit up in your bed. Hopefully tutoring him won’t be too awkward now that you’ve spoken to him a bit, and there's still tomorrow at school to speak to him. You find yourself excited for the study date tutoring session, since you could get your homework done too.

"Two days," you smile.