pinkremedy2515

[pinkremedy2515]

If you’re not able to do all of that, by the age of 17… what’re you even doing :/

Book One San Lang is so funny. He put his whole ghostussy into his human disguise -- every palm line and fingerprint in place, every strand of hair perfect -- but then he's just so blatantly Weird™. Like sure this teenage nepo baby wandering around on a whim because he was fighting with his parents will definitely take all of this Scary Supernatural Stuff in stride with no more than a very transparently flirtatious "I'm sca-wed gege. 🥺" Sure, he definitely just has casual encyclopedic knowledge of gods and defunct kingdoms going back almost a millennium and featuring details that aren't available on Wuxiapedia, and he can read dead languages. Of course he exhibits random carpentry skills. He stabs a guy with a chopstick and then shrugs when he deflates like a skin balloon. He cheerfully ties venomous snakes into knots and very evidently explodes them with his mind. Just Normal Human Kid things!

[pinkremedy2515]

Ngl idk why im here going through bridgerton edits when i have a physics exam tomorrow

[pinkremedy2515]

!!

having fanfiction comfort you through a cry is something

[pinkremedy2515]

Recap and present intro

I’m in junior year now, and i just went back and read all my previous posts, a measly 7 by the way. Apparently they’re from 2022 and onwards if i inferred correctly. Which mean it hasn’t even been that long, huh.

I decided to be just a little more organized about the posts now because i almost had an aneurysm trying to read the last one. That’s almost a year and a half old, huh…

So quick recap of what you, the grateful inquisitive audience, missed; 1. I did my o levels,

2. discovered i was moving from the city i grew up in for my whole life,

3. went on summer vacation,

4. dyed half of my hair hot pink in a show of teenage impulsivity (although it was a thorough meticulous decision),

5. got all A*s on my o levels, missed a rank by 5 marks (or was that 7 marks…)

6. Got stuck in my home city and delayed the move because my dad’s employer decided to be an ass about my dad moving,

7. finally moved in the September of 2023, and moved to the capital city of my country from my beachside home city ( I know it sounds all Hollywood having to move in the middle of high school especially into the ‘BIG CITY’ but i was far from ‘a fish out of water’ I just hate this place)

8. Moved into a small ass apartment, that is a fraction of the size of our previous house, and my room is as small as it is legally allowed to make a bedroom (i know because I searched it up) while my older sister gets to have a much larger room with a balcony too because i lost a coin toss that i suggested to conduct.

9. Broke off a friendship that was nearly a decade old, and really I don’t even know what to make of it

10. almost instantly made friends with the girls in my new class, and made almost all the teachers hate me within the first month if I’m to wrong. This little trope suggests that i am the cool rule breaking type, but let me assure you i am not. The teachers hate me for no good reason, but it doesn’t really matter cause they fucking suck too and i hate them just as much if not more. Although I am in the stem subjects (bio, chem, physics and math) and my science head hates me so I don’t really feel the best about her having direct control of my gpa, but what can a girl do

11. Almost forgot, i went to my cousins wedding halfway across the world, spent buckets of money on the tickets and the dresses cause it was during Christmas, only to look god damn hideous because only divine intervention can help me look anything above perfectly mediocre and average,

12. And ive lost all hope and motivation for my as level, because due to the above mentioned vacation I ended up missing a shit tonne of the syllabus being taught and the teachers didn’t like me enough to reteach me the bits i missed, so i had to haul my ass all the way through my mocks, which i barely passed, and all the way to where i am now.

13. Turned 17 about 2 and a half weeks ago and felt nothing but despair for having reached that age, not because its almost as cliche as 16 but rather because I don’t look forward to the future anymore

SO HERE WE ARE~

Present day me, who just finished bombing her math and mechanics as papers on the first week of may, and i now have exactly 3 days till the next slew of exams which involve three exams in 3 consecutive days, and i really am not as prepared as I should be but I can’t seem to find it in me to haul my ass through it because i freak out and get stressed and end up doing nothing.

I’m very different from last year in that regard, i used to be at the top of my class and aced my subjects and here i am now, barely even passing and standing at the very bottom of what used to be my academic career but is now a wide yawning chasm. I hope to not fuck up everything completely, and just get an A on my AS levels, a passing A would do as well. I really hope god up there is feeling sympathetic to a pathetic stupid teenage girl who is trying to try her best.

I’ve been raised and am at an economic level that has me comfortable but the only future for me is one i make myself; through my academics and hard work, so I am fully aware what’s at stake here but im giving up on myself. The me who fought died one day and I didn’t even have a warning. No heads up, no 2 week notice, and definitely no replacement hired. The worst bit was i spent the whole summer studying and planning to make this the best and most productive year, but all my effort lead to absolutely nothing, and it would be a lie to say my spirit I entirely crushed to smithereens and i feel that i am teetering on the brink of what might be a depressive slump.

It’s currently 2:24 am on the 11th of May as I type this, and I should either be asleep or doing the past paper thats been squished under my iPad-laptop. i might not post this just immediately so the timing probably wont add up. Although im not sure tumblr has a time format or info bit for the posts anyway, at least not from what ive seen.

I missed out on a bunch of other things that happened to me along the way, and a bunch of stuff that’s happening now. But i felt a little encouraged to post because one of my previous posts had a singular like, which may have been an accident and even if it wasn’t, that person probably wont find my blog (if you can call it that) again because they don’t follow me :// which sucks a bit but whatever. Maybe I should take the initiative and follow them… maybe i might…

Anyway ill probably conclude this essay of a post now, but one last thing, i feel the need to change the color scheme and vibe of the whole account again, so ill probably do that in the morning after i wake up and have two consecutive tutoring sessions that make me want to reap my own soul :D

Byyyyeeeee to the worlds quietest audience :)

[pinkremedy2515]

shit so bad i had to get back on here to vent

I’m not sure when was the first time i posted on here, or when my last was either, but no matter. Though i still pretty much struggle or deal with everything that I first vented about so i would say there’s not been much development at all in that regard, or pretty much any regard if i really think about it. I did want to restart this thing because there’s hardly space to breathe in my own life.

[pinkremedy2515]

Back to bother you :)

Hey, I’m back and it’s gonna be a super short entry. But it’s good! Kinda somewhat. See, my parents are a bit paranoid and somewhat overprotective…? And have a bit of an issue with me going to uni too far. And I’ve been meaning to tell them this for quite sometime, to try to convince them that I’m literally the least problematic teenager you could find out there, and why it would be idiotic not to agree with me. Somehow, by some miracle, we managed to have a civil conversation about it, with my sister trying to add herself into that category, when I promptly asked her to stfu cause we were on different levels. Good thing is that, I think they are considering it and that’s the most I can ask for.

[pinkremedy2515]

ℌⅈ guys ✎

Well, here I am. I wanna say a little bit about myself; I’m an intj. And you’re probably thinking ‘yea right’ but I really am. The entire slytherclaw shabam. I mean everyone tells me that I act and look like an intj, even the actual test. But i think I’m literally the furthest thing from it; okay not literally but ykwim. Let me explain: so I’m a reader - I just want to say I’m not the ‘Colleen hoover’ type of reader - right? And I read like a lot of stuff; mostly fantasy and romance and just loads of stuff. So like I notice a pattern about the fictional men I like; they’re all that tall-dark-and-handsome, millionaire, mysterious vibe, yeah? Like take Bruce Wayne for example – the perfect example actually cause I’m like obsessed with him – he’s like totally my type and then I realize he’s an intj. So after this little discovery, I’m starting to feel like I’m projecting. What I’m trying to say is, I purposefully give off that aura, or vibe, whatever you wanna call it so I attract that kind??? Not sure why i do it, but I feel like I’m not that type of person although that’s what I subconsciously want to be. So it got me thinking, what kind of person am I actually?? I mean look at me, read my shit. It’s kind of obvious that I’m not the cool, composed ,future seeing, emotionally absent person that the normal intj is depicted as. But the thing is I feel like I relate to every single personality type there is, so what the fuck does that make me…? I don’t have a favourite color ffs. I don’t have an aesthetic, I don’t even have any distinctive hobbies, interests anything. So what’s this shit about teenage years and my youth being about self discovery??? Clearly I can’t relate. I’m not introverted per se, like I’m quite loud and stuff. But I’m not extroverted either, I like being by myself and I’m the type to go out like twice a month or something. I’m not even like smart or dumb; I’m just the most average fucking person in the world. Dark hair, dark eyes, average height, average financial state like average everything. So that’s just a bit of an identity crisis; is that what it’s called?? I’m constantly experimenting stuff to seem like an interesting person, like an individuality complex at this point. But I always feel like I’m trying out new skins and trying to be someone I’m not; but the funniest fucking thing is that I don’t even know what I am so I’m just existing in this gray area trying to find where I’m going or what I’m doing. And tumblr??? I’m just doing this to vent; I don’t feel comfortable telling people whatever this Is, I mean technically am I not just dumping the load and stress of another life on them?? When they already have their own shit to deal with. Seems in my opinion very selfish of me, so I’d rather not. But over here, even if someone reads it – which seems quite unlikely – isn’t it really their choice and plus I’m not forcing them to so I suppose that makes me feel a little less guilty. I do think that I would like a small interactive group of people, who’d read this and kind of give me advice and just be my friends I guess. I think it would be fun trying to cater to an audience and someone who’d – very unlikely – enjoy reading about my life, even though I’m the most boring and average person out there, just cause maybe their life is the complete opposite of mine and this could be a little insight on another person’s life. At this point, it’s kind of like reading through my diary, but with my permission ofc.

Uhm, I’ll address that issue later. Anyway, back to a reference I made to a clay mushroom I wanted to make for my friend. Anyway her birthday is about 10 days away and I STILL HAVENT STARTED; although I must say it’s not exactly my fault. But that’s what bothers me. So the place I can get my oven dry clay is like a little far right?? So I ask my dad to take me there so I can buy it, but then he asks me why I want to go there. You see this is where the problem arises, I don’t want to tell him (them as in my parents) cause I really do feel like they’ll straight up make fun of me. And obviously I don’t want that, duh. SO HES NOT TAKING ME. And this is pissing me off cause yk it’s annoying. If I think about it objectively this is his reasoning; you get loads of art supplies and shit over there, and they - my parents - think that I want to go there to buy stuff and that I’ll get distracted by it and fail my mocks or whatever. WHICH I WONT I mean it’s a mushroom ffs. Like how long is that gonna take to make and paint??? And on top of that there’s another thing that pissed me off today; you see i referred to having an ear infection right? Well the doctor asked me not to wash my hair or the water would go in my ear and it wouldn’t be pretty. Well after about 8 days, I’m kind of sick of my disgusting hair; I have a greasy scalp which makes my hair an unmentionable horror at the moment. So I tell my mom ‘ I’m not gonna go to school with this shit ass hair’ so then she offers to help me wash it, so yk th water doesn’t get in my ear. BUT THE THING IS SHE WENT TO SLEEP so now my hairs a wreck and I don’t have my mushroom clay and I’ve not done a bunch of other things so now I feel like a wreck to the point I almost cried. I mean who tf cries about the fact that they didn’t get to wash their hair and get a bunch of clay; yeah I’m a weak bitch – it’s sad at this point. Anyway I’ll go now. Adios guys ✎

[pinkremedy2515]

>>INTERMISSION☤<<

BY THE WAY, my birthday is in april and I’m a Taurus ;P

[pinkremedy2515]

online~

Hi! Hasn’t been too long since I last updated and I am pretty surprised about that myself. Took a day off from school due to health reasons [read: I stabbed myself in the ear with a pencil. I adamantly told everyone I know i fell asleep on it while studying late at night for an upcoming mock, but in-fact I just straight up poked myself; I know I’m an idiot] Anyway, turns out large amounts of precipitation [I’m trying to be mysterious about my location, okay ?], school took to online and I am currently typing down this blog while listening to my physics teacher - yeah the pregnant one - talk about thermal heat capacity. Oh damn, the zoom class just shut with her speaking lmao. Since I don’t have much to talk about, I’ll talk about a book I read in 2022. The series is called The Scholomance by Naomi Novik, and the first book is ‘A Deadly Education’. Words can not stress how amazing this book is. I think I’ll dedicate a separate post to talking about it. See you there <33

[pinkremedy2515]

The return pt.2

I have a lot of stuff to do and I’m gonna share my to do list here cuz my middle name is oversharing (not actually, my middle name is ‘glory’ in a foreign language) 

1. xxxxx’s mushroom and card*

2. Chemistry notes

3. Arabic Vocabulary**

4. Biology Mock Revision

5. Chemistry Quiz Revision

6. English Narrative Writing 

7. French Past paper

8. Math Chapter Review

9. Physics Self-study and notes***

10. History Quiz Review

11. 365 Days of Art****

* = context

* it’s my friend’s birthday in about 2 weeks and I wanted to sculpt her a mushroom as a birthday gift, but I still haven’t started and it’s making me anxious because I wouldn’t really say I’m super good at sculpting - if that’s what you even call it -. I’ve been thinking of making the stem and the hood bit magnetic so it can be disassembled but I’m not super sure about it yet. If it turns out well, I might put a picture of it up here, although I wouldn’t recommend having high hoped for it as it’s only my second project and I have mocks now :(( If anyone has tips; I am very open to suggestions and advice!!

** I’m taking Arabic and French as foreign languages although i also want to study Latin on the side, not academically. I am fascinated by roman everything; their architecture, the language, the mythology just everything. (ps. I’m a pjo fan and I’m also obsessed with Greek stuff but not as much as latin)

*** Why self-study if I go to school? We changed close to 3 teachers in just my o levels and the fourth one who just came is HEAVILY PREGNANT,  so I have decided I can only trust myself and have taken matters into my own hands; we’ll see how it goes

**** 365 days of art is a book I got when I travelled wayyy back in 2021. I bought it at a museum in houston, I think? But I haven’t really been able to properly commit to it, so what better way and time to do it than now, at the beginning of a New Year? I have the Nature version and I am obsessed with it although I could never find time before. I’ll try my very best to finish it this year and maybe I might share pictures of entries I am especially proud of...? More on that later.

[pinkremedy2515]

The return pt.1

TW; swearing

Gosh, it’s been ages. I’ve only recently got enough time to sit and write stuff. But even now, I haven’t got long. Sounds like I’m terminally ill, which I am not fyi. Its just exam season; like major exams. I’m taking the British curriculum and I’m taking my o levels - which is quite major for those of you who don’t know of their significance. Anyway, I don’t have time to do any hobbies, which are (if you want to know); drawing, painting, reading, writing - only if I’m in the mood, bit of sculpting now and just a bit of cartography. I’m not necessarily saying i’m any good but I’ve been experimenting recently because I feel like a basic bitch. 

{ps,=. I also embroider; it’s super fun and I don’t know why I forgot to mention it here}

[pinkremedy2515]

Prologue

Before I begin my illustrious career here and say anything here, I should warn you. I do not fully comprehend Tumblr – despite being a high schooler – and my account’s ‘aesthetic’ doesn’t really portray me very well. I mean what type of person or personality exactly comes to mind when you think the colors pink and green? Whatever it is, it’s probably not me. But, in the future should I get an audience later on, you guys could suggest changes which you feel depict me more accurately, after getting a gist of me from my brutally honest posts.