pinkiex0x0

[pinkiex0x0]

Blumenwiese

Mohnblüte

Sprenkelst den Mai

Streckst dich der heißen Sonne entgegen

Neben dir die Kornblume

Ihr kräftiger Stamm schmiegt sich an deinen

Sanftes rot und schillerndes blau

Verträumt und besinnt

ihr seid so anders, und doch

Ihr funktioniert

Und ich frage mich, meine Liebste

Mohnblüte

Kann ich deine Kornblume sein?

Du stehst vor mir, so versunken in dir selbst

Deine sanften Augen blicken durch mich durch

Und ich frage mich, o Schönste

Mohnblüte

Kannst du mich sehen?

Wende dich ab von der Maisonne

Und sieh zu der Kornblume

Neben dir stehend, dich bewundernd

Dich liebend

[pinkiex0x0]

Everything

every time the tram goes by your stop

I think of you

and whether you could be standing there, waiting, for someone who isn’t me.

I miss your bright smile

and the way your voice goes up a pitch when you talk about something that you like.

I know, I made mistakes.

After three months of no contact

I still catch myself longing for your presence.

I don’t understand how you’ve moved on so easily.

Maybe you’re happy now, after I held you back for so long.

And of course, I want you to be happy, but,

I wish you could’ve been happy, with me.

I know, one day, I’ll move on too.

But after all, you were my best friend.

You were everything I ever had.

And I’m sorry I couldn’t be okay with our friendship.

I know it could’ve been differently.

But maybe it’s better this way?

Maybe it could’ve worked

If I was a little more like you

And you were a little more like me.

But we both know that will never be the case.

No, you have both feet on the ground

And I reach for the stars.

Floating away from each other,

Like driftwood on the sea.

Farewell, my best friend, my world,

I hope you find happiness

And I hope I’ll never hear about it.

[pinkiex0x0]

Today

I saw you today

For a brief moment, only saw your back

but recognised you immediately.

This has happened a lot, but,

today,

it was different.

Your presence used to float through my veins,

fill my mind with thoughts of you -

but,

today,

it was different.

it stopped.

I think that,

today,

I accepted.

accepted that you would never be my girl.

accepted that it’s hopeless.

And as much as I longed to kiss you,

I longed for this feeling more.

peace.

closure.

freedom.

I don’t think you cared how much you meant to me.

I never really told you.

will I ever do so?

will you ever see the words I wrote about you?

would you even understand?

my love was nothing but game to you,

but,

today,

I refuse to pick up the bat.

[pinkiex0x0]

"So…

this crush of yours

what does she look like?“

I don’t know.

Could I even describe you?

I couldn’t

because when I see you, all I can focus on is slowing down my own heartbeat.

I couldn’t describe you,

yet I’d find you within a thousand clones of you.

There’s no one that compares to you.

[pinkiex0x0]

When we’re around your friends,

you don’t talk to me.

But then you send me texts

with the most beautiful words

anyone has ever said to me.

Jokingly.

And I send texts like that back.

Jokingly?

Sometimes I wonder whether you know how I feel for you.

I hope you don’t.

Because if you did, then you’d know that sending those texts is most cruel.

I want to tell you, but

I can’t.

We’re playing a game -

who falls in love first?

I lost before we even started playing.

[pinkiex0x0]

The steam of my hot cup of tea.

You prefer it with milk

and I make fun of you for it.

I think of you.

You’re so sweet

like tangerine on a cold winter day.

Your presence is like maple syrup -

warm and sweet and sticky.

Everything about you

is kind.

Painfully kind.

Because I know you wouldn’t break my heart.

You‘d turn me down,

nicely.

I can’t escape

that sweet and sticky love for you.

Please, don’t be kind to me.

Break my heart.

So that I can stop longing for something that I can never have.

[pinkiex0x0]

Our eyes met, softly.

And like the first ray of sunrise

you lit me up.

And all of a sudden it was you

you, and only you.

I’m losing my sanity

whenever you look at me.

Because how could I not love you?

And so I run for you

But you never turn your back

to look behind you

and see me running

and see me trying.

No, your gaze is focused

and mine is blurry

Because how could you ever like me?

You’re heavenly,

and I’m just me.

[pinkiex0x0]

The night we met

In the corner of my eye

I saw you walk up to me.

You smelled like heaven

and I probably smelled like cheap passionfruit liquor.

"Hi."

"Hi!"

It took you less than a sentence,

less than a second,

to make me fall in love with you.

And it took me even less than that

to make me realise

that you didn’t feel the same.

I thought you’d kiss me,

But you didn’t.

It’s been four months, and yet

I still love you.

Whenever we meet at a party, we take a walk together.

And I want to kiss you softly.

But I know I never will.

We don’t talk about it, but,

did you forget

about the night we met?

[pinkiex0x0]

God,

why must I

fall in love with her?

Why must her smile

be so bright

why must her voice

light up my heart

like a thousand fireflies?

God, can’t you see

that she would never fall in love with me.

A girl, sparkling eyes

A hug (or two)

"Are you the girl who likes me?“

"No.“

Yes.

Yes I am.

A text I’ve never sent

A moment I should probably forget.

God, if you’re above

thank you for making her so perfect.

But, please,

make me forget her.