pigmentpoltergeist

[pigmentpoltergeist]

The Great Lakes and Saint Lawrence River superimposed on a map of Europe

[pigmentpoltergeist]

average beginning of an episode of psych:

1989...henry teaches shawn how to dismantle a wind turbine, and that timing is crucial. shawn doesn't understand this. gus is there. he's wearing khakis and tap shoes.

present day...shawn and gus are having frozen yogurt

lassie and jules drive by, sirens blaring. gus says "NO. NO. shawn, i just worked a sixty hour week. i got arthritis in my hand from hauling my case around!" shawn grabs gus's froyo and takes off running after the car. "i know you didn't just take my yogurt!" gus yells, and follows. they somehow arrive at the scene of the crime first

a milfy woman has been stabbed multiple times in her home. she is clinging to life. gus finds her alluring and attractive. she dies in shawn's arms.

"i wonder if she ever heard about pluto..." gus says, near tears.

"oh would you stop!? a woman is dead, gus, have some decorum - oh my god..."

"what? what is it?"

"DUDE...check out that sweet nintendo 64!"

the cops arrive. lassiter sees the blood on shawn's hands. tense music. "YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF EXPLAINING TO DO SPENCER!"

"lassie, you know we didn't do this! the only weapons we have are our froyo spoons...they're small, and soft, and wooden, and made by tiny baby elves."

dum, dum, da da da dum! in between the lines there's a lot of obscurity. i'm not inclined to resign to maturity. if it's alright, then you're all wrong, but why bounce around to the same damn song? you'd rather run when you can't crawl...I KNOW! YOU KNOW! that i'm not telling the truth. I KNOW! YOU KNOW! they just don't have any proof. embrace the deception, learn how to bend, your worst inhibitions tend to PSYCH you out in the end...

everyone snoops around. shawn discovers that the victim was a professor of physics at ucsb, proof that she was sleeping with her TA, and emails from another physics professor that imply blackmail and that they wanted her job.

gus stares at the computer, captivated. he says "mad scientists, drama, intrigue, secrets...this is blackmail to the future, shawn. what!"

shawn plays with a vase from the mantle. "heh. that sounds like a remake staring a young will smith, with eddie murphy as doc brown...god, he would kill in that role."

"you know that's right."

shawn drops the vase. it shatters. "what was that?" jules calls out.

"dude, let's bail and talk to the ta and the other professor," shawn whispers.

"bet," gus says. they take a candy dish full of hersey's kisses with them.

[pigmentpoltergeist]

[pigmentpoltergeist]

girl unhinge ur jaw

[pigmentpoltergeist]

so few people understand the art of the pseudo nap

[pigmentpoltergeist]

This is potentially life saving information everyone should know.

[pigmentpoltergeist]

i can be so normal about knights. come closer

[pigmentpoltergeist]

This is only relevant if you or someone you know lives in North Carolina:

A candidate for NC Supreme Court, Jefferson Griffin, lost by a small margin, confirmed by two recounts. He’s suing the Board of Elections, arguing that 60,273 early votes should be nullified. All of these early voters showed their ID and the votes are legal. (For some reason, these voters didn’t have their social security number or driver’s license number in their voter file. Neither the state Board of Elections nor state law says that this makes them ineligible.)

The names of the voters that are contested are publicly available, but most of the voters don’t know they’re on the list and that their vote is in danger of being nullified.

What to do? Visit this website:

Scroll down to the search tool. Search your name and the names of any family or friends who voted in North Carolina in November. (You can narrow it down by County.)

Keep scrolling until you get to the map. If you live in NC, zoom in on your neighborhood — you can’t see the names associated with dots on the map, but you can see if there are people in your neighborhood who should be alerted. If so, you can spread the word.

If you or a friend is on the list, there are instructions for what action to take (calling your local Board of Elections, emailing Jefferson Griffin to ask your name be removed from the list, etc.)

Share this website widely!

[pigmentpoltergeist]

the stupidest thing about mental illness is the short half life of reassurances. like yes I know you reminded me yesterday that I'm not secretly toxic waste that everybody wants rid of but that was like 18 hours ago and I forgor

[pigmentpoltergeist]

i am not a religious person…….. but if you’re out there, giant rat that makes all of the rules,

[pigmentpoltergeist]

bro your whimsy. you forgot your fucking whimsy. your solemn and somber attitude is scaring the hoes

[pigmentpoltergeist]

One massive, legitimate way to improve as a writer or artist or in any creative endeavor really, is to become absolutely obsessed with something and to allow yourself to be weird about it. Genuinely mean this btw.

[pigmentpoltergeist]

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

[pigmentpoltergeist]

i love how tma introduces canon vampires and immediately glosses over them. yeah we have vampires here. who the fuck even cares. we’ve got bigger fish to fry jonathan

[pigmentpoltergeist]

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.