pianoless-dog

[pianoless-dog]

"Give me 6 hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four making a playlist"

-Abraham Lincoln

[pianoless-dog]

Your mom threw away every one of your childhood toys. Keep those flowers for yourself!

[pianoless-dog]

She’s only brave when the cat’s not looking at her… 

(Source)

[pianoless-dog]

Expectation: My dom making me lick her pussy.

Reality: My dom making me make her grilled cheese sandwiches.

[pianoless-dog]

she turnin on my timmy... nine months later we some fairly odd parents

[pianoless-dog]

Wisdom has no signifiers.

[pianoless-dog]

“When the handle has snapped off the basket that held all your eggs…” gone girl tier monologue

[pianoless-dog]

One day my friends are going to have grandkids and I'm going to be like, "None of my dogs ever had kids so I don't really know how to relate."

[pianoless-dog]

one of my coworkers has this sticker on his water bottle and it sends me into hysterics every time i see it

[pianoless-dog]

When was the last time you engaged in commerce without someone attempting to a) sell you something additional or b) establish a connection for customer retention or additional loyalty?

[pianoless-dog]

[pianoless-dog]

Raising awareness of all you weirdos.

i love when people are like “you should use your platform to spread awareness” and they’re literally talking to a tumblr user and they’re serious

[pianoless-dog]

New lore: vampires turn nerdy when exposed to sunlight.

I don't wear glasses, but I really love the concept of transition lenses. Like indoors you're just this mild-mannered, unassuming, kind of nerdy bespectacled being who will just fucking shapeshift into someone who's really fucking cool when exposed to direct sunlight, like some sort of a reverse vampire.

[pianoless-dog]

When I first read/watched Under the Banner of Heaven I didn't realize how interesting it was that several of the Lafferys were chiropractors given that chiropractic was founded by a guy that claimed to have received it from a dead doctor from the other world.

[pianoless-dog]

Joining tumblr is a really interesting experience because you can see how much our places including digital places influence or constrain our thoughts. Like if you're visiting a set of subreddits that have rules like only post about these types of things you don't have a lot of thoughts that don't fit in any of those types of boxes. But then you get on Tumblr and stare a blank blog in the face and then all of sudden ideas start coming that you hadn't had before.

[pianoless-dog]

"There’s 3,000 people on the boat so your odds of being selected are actually really low. And who knows, maybe Poseidon actually does keep you safe."

I feel like if cruise lines started sacrificing 1 randomly selected passenger to Poseidon at the start every voyage, southerners would still find away to justify them.

[pianoless-dog]

I feel like if cruise lines started sacrificing 1 randomly selected passenger to Poseidon at the start every voyage, southerners would still find away to justify them.