pianodogplush - Tumblr blog

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There is no phantom of the opera?

I in no way intend to imply that such a thing is tangible and real but I would like to take some time to say that I have a reasonably healthy fixation on the Phantom of the opera for a very specific reason. Throughout my life I have always felt like an outcast even when I am in groups and social circles. I of course know why; autism is, as I have said in the past, a curse. Because of this I have come to appreciate my musical talent in a singularly literal fashion and have internalised it into my being. I am a reasonably talented musician by ear on the piano/organ who hides their true nature from the bitter and cynical light of day. I have always struggled with social interaction no matter how I try and I am well aware of the hardships that will plague me throughout my life. 

I am no expert in anything but I do know this. I will not drive comfortably. I will not master any physical art and I will not be comfortable in any social circle. 

Autism is the nail that will forever pin me to a set stratagem. I can not escape and must make do as much as I can. I accept this burden as an obligation not a choice. Every breath I take is somewhat weighted with this unfortunate and unavoidable destiny my life will take. I am intelligent, I am talented, but ultimately I feel so very alone. 

I have come to the conclusion that I love the phantom of the opera because I feel so much sympathy with the character; the lonely, misunderstood misfit who dreams of finding a kindred spirit, someone who understands and can occasionally be relied upon to be a shoulder to cry on. 

I expect no such favour to fall upon me as a result of me wanting but all my confused self wants is some consistent companionship, some familiarity, some help. until then I feel that I have only this a piece of music to remind me of my masquerade https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQiuPAFGtj0 

[pianodogplush]

An empty Barricade

It is in no small part that due to the rad-fem influence, dubbed "the feminazis" and fat acceptance activists, Tumblr has gained a bad name. But I feel that it is important to talk about a personal account of an issue occasionally touched on by the "progressive crowd", Autism and the frankly dire outcomes in inflicts on sufferers. 

While I was 12-18 years old, I took up amateur dramatics and while I never really had the talent for it (despite being compared to Nicholas Cage) I learnt a very important tool in combating my particular brand of autism, false confidence; almost as good as the real thing. There is however, one very large problem; While it can gift sufferers with a natural ability (I am proficient at piano by ear) it brings with it a shadow of sorts that looms forever on the horizon. You see for all the false confidence I can exhibit there is a self-imposed knowledge and occasional fear that I will come under periods of histrionic and paranoid self-doubt, where; despite the fact that I am a likeable and amiable person, my own neurosis threatens to turn me into a bitter loner content to be locked up in a cell of my own purchase. 

This goes directly against my persona as an entertainer in all my chosen hobbies, Radio, TV and mascot work and as a result, in line with some academic studies; I feel torn apart and conflicted about who I am. Yet there is one rule I never bend, never compromise. It can not be allowed to win. Should I come down with an extreme case of anxiety I will do all in my power to deny it, for it is a nasty little spectre that seeks to render me an idiot and loner.

As a result I begrudgingly disagree with the "autism is a gift" crowd because I see no privilege in the knowledge that i am more prone to anxiety attacks, depression and self doubt. Where is the benefit in living occasionally as a shadow of your true self, constantly aware of the monster hiding in the dark that threatens to take your apathy away forcibly.

I in no way advocate absolute agreement, I know that statistically and as direct result of the tone of this vent session that It will almost certainly alienate some people but therein lies the true and bittersweet truth of the autism monster, that every slip and dark period is temporary and simply resets the timer until the next one. 

Autism is to me at least, a curse but one that is sometimes tolerable. 

[pianodogplush]

the pyoomaman

(not me)

He flies like a moron

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His hands are like claws, you do not abandon

The PUMAMAN action figure sports 11 points of articulation and a posable cloth cape, allowing him to fly like a moron in a variety of poses.  Strike fear into enemies with his Action Puma Pounce™ : just a squeeze of his legs, and his claws spring to life

Oh. My. God. I think I need all of these. ALL OF THEM!

[pianodogplush]

Charity in the UK

I'll be back in brum on the 26th and 27th September for St Mary's Hospice. there's a fancy dress competition between BCU and UOB so I'll have to show UOB who's top dog (literally) in the fancy dress stakes

[pianodogplush]

The Censorship Issue

There are an endless myriad of games that have faced the mighty wand of censorship over the years. There’s Final Fantasy VI‘s attempted suicide scene, the blood turned magically into “sweat” in the SNES version of a not-so-Mortal Kombat, the Muslim inspired music and symbology of The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time, and, of course, the infamous “hot coffee” incident in the coding of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

Click here to expand the article 

[pianodogplush]

all your "enemes"are belong to us, and then they died of "strrves"

The Supermarket Monster dramatic reading

this took two takes btw

[pianodogplush]

FACEBOOK :- http://www.facebook.com/gj.chess Fight on the chess board, Bottom chess fight, Chess Videos, Funny Chess videos, Funny Chess player video, Funny ...

Slapstick at it's best from the late Rik Mayal

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Photos from @carnagebham last night

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[Soren on Tumblr]

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OH YEAH!

Turn down for two kittens dancing in unison to Lil’ Jon. 

[pianodogplush]

A message for David Cameron

I realise that in your infamous reign (it can't fairly be called democracy) you have alienated a lot of groups of people, the young, the old, the feminists, the animal rights, the environmentally conscious and the students. Where do you find the time to make yourself one of the most hated men in British history. You're going another step further though by cutting DSA, probably to make sure that the filthy help go and get jobs that you have singularly failed to create or show interest in creating. There really isn't a need to try and protect your parties image, you have done so much damage to it the only way to remove your blight on the political scene is to rewrite the entire party with you and anyone associated with you removed or put under severe scrutiny at all times to prove that you can be good Eton/Oxforf/Cambridge boys and not spend "the help's" money keeping loopholes legal and your second houses.

as it stands your unbelievable levels of incompetence and lack of care have led to the wage gap increasing, the standard of living going down for everyone but the top 1% (isn't it funny) and the alternative for many voters now lies with a racist, hateful party of bigots and they're beating you in many areas. To top it off you finally decided to strike at a truly sensitive, volatile group of people who are widely misunderstood. Just because someone has a mental disability doesn't mean that they don't see what a reprehensible human being you are. They're coming to challenge you, they know that you hold all the balls in your court out of fear but they don't care because they're right about you, everyone is right about you and no amount of pretending to care can fool the population of disgruntled, irritated immigrants you promised a good life.

In 2015 I hope for the sake of Britain that you and your friend George get forcibly thrown from the political system and given a good hard smack for being naughty, naughty boys.

[pianodogplush]

A quick update

I'll probably have the rest of the photos from the end of year costume party up on monday. 

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 me waiting for people to arrive at last nights end of year costume party

[pianodogplush]

Official video for Weapon Of Choice by Fatboy Slim Subscribe to Skint Records TV at: http://bit.ly/11g3zT3 Find out more about Skint Records here: http://www...

A Walken a day keeps the doctor away

[pianodogplush]

Ready at last

The vest arrived today. I've got everything I'll need for the final day. Bring it on!