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Walnut shells cut in half.

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AKIHIRO HIGUCHI 樋口　明宏

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Mike Hall.

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Guys for fuck’s sake you gotta stop romanticizing him in the tags there’s a reason he’s my ex. Yes he is a hot bear, yes he has incredible soda powers, but he’s also a Disney adult who works for an investment fund. Sad!

One of my favorite tiktok niches that was created by people so bored they’re barely alive is that there’s a whole diet soda community where they believe everything you do greatly effects the way diet soda tastes and there are very specific methods of serving it to make sure you get the right flavor as if it’s an expensive steak or something. but the best part is they believe how long you leave it in the fridge is the most important part in all of it, which they call, “marinating”

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This continues to be a top contender for favorite tweet

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sun wukong would have a blast with therapyspeak. he’d be an absolute menace

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Out of Taylor's three most notable kills (Coil, Aster, Scion) the only one not orchestrated by Lisa was Aster. Clearly, Tattletale was finding people for Taylor to sate her bloodlust on so she didn't take it out on defenseless babies. Truly a unsung hero

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Accepting you was harder for me than it was for anyone else. Losing you would be harder on me than it would be on anyone else. Your boyfriend, your father, they won’t mourn you like I will. You’re the only one who makes an effort to understand me. I’m the only one who makes an effort not to decipher you. I can’t write, but my letter brought you closer to who you truly are than anyone else’s. I’ve held your hand when nobody else did. You called me by my name when nobody else did. You gained my trust. You betrayed me. You regained my trust. You betrayed me again. The trust is still there. I love you like one of my dogs. I’ll be loyal to you like one of my dogs. Even after years, I will not waver. I would fight the world for you. I would fight the world with you.

I just read all of Worm in like a month and I kept frantically reaching for the next chapter thinking surely, SURELY this is the one where the tension between Taylor and Rachel reaches a breaking point and they fuck messy style while some unspeakable calamity happens around them. And it just. never happens. (the fucking I mean, the calamities keep happening a bunch)

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Taylor Worm is everything people think Vriska Homestuck is and its so glorious to see

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I just read all of Worm in like a month and I kept frantically reaching for the next chapter thinking surely, SURELY this is the one where the tension between Taylor and Rachel reaches a breaking point and they fuck messy style while some unspeakable calamity happens around them. And it just. never happens. (the fucking I mean, the calamities keep happening a bunch)

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>be me, pizza guy in shittiest port town on Earth Bet

>terrible tips and get robbed for pizza so often I have honest to god decoy pizzas

>get called to deliver to this weird old warehouse like three times a week and have to roll the dice on how it's gonna go

>there's this whole Burger King Kid's Club worth of diverse teenagers that live there and I never know who I'm gonna get

>worst kid there is the one that answers the door 90% of the time. I hate this little fucking shit

>black haired boy. Dainty little prince pretty boy type. Always the one who calls the orders in, and always gives some stupid ass fake name like he's fucking Bart Simpson. "I.C. Weiner" and "I.P. Freely." That kind of shit.

>like half the time I think I'm delivering a depression-meal since he's dressed like he just woke up, and I'd feel bad except he makes some smartass remark every time, and since I see him every other goddamn day, it's almost always the same joke. Also tries to get free pizza by saying it's 30 minutes or free, except no one has done that program since like 1993, so he's pulling shit from tv. I don't need a fucking comedy routine from a kid in cookie monster pajama pants. Bad tipper. Whatever cash he has in his pocket.

>he's on the shitlist because, and I don't know how the fuck he does this, but every time the pizza is "late", this fucking kid trips me somehow. Or I drop my phone or the pizza bag or keys. Swear to god this kid has Home Alone tripwires or something.

>and every time it happens. Every fucking time. This little bastard says "have a nice trip."

>would say he's a cape, but every cape I've ever met has had some kind of presence, and I'm not giving that much credit to someone with a four-hair teenage mustache

>hate this smug little fucker and I'd have him blacklisted if this fucking building and its weird teenage polycule didn't make up like 50% of our orders for the neighborhood. 0/10, I hope you die

>be me, Brockton Bay pizza man. Deliver to welding building. Name on order is "Dick Hardly." Little prince opens the door. He has a sidekick. Black girl counterpart. They give me matching shit-eating grins. I hate my fucking job.

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Having anotheg 'gork we have got to get out of bed faster then this' morning

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Feeling old yet? Breaking Bad ended in the year 1890.

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*leaning conspiratorially over the table in the DC steakhouse* Hey isn’t that the weird bug who’s in charge of the nighttime? And who’s he with? That is NOT his wife.

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calvin and hobbes

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astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.