philthedeville - Tumblr blog

[philthedeville]

"Nobody's gonna win." - Tommy

“Then why do I feel like I’ve already lost?” Phil glanced over at his friend. Tommy was right. This was definitely a lose-lose situation. No matter the outcome someone was going to get hurt. Phil figured it best be him than anyone else. He bit the inside of his cheek a little too hard and tasted something metallic in his mouth. He grabbed his water and took a sip. “I don’t really know what to do at this point. You’re, like, supposed to be the smart one here. What would you do?” he asked. Phil wanted his honesty, despite how much he wouldn’t like what he would hear. “I just wish this whole ordeal could be over and done with.”

@directorpickles

[philthedeville]

"I can't pretend it's okay when it's not."

Phil had barely spoken to Kimi since the ‘incident.’ He knew he should have been there for her more through out all the bullshit they’d caused and the pain that came along with it. He had missed her, he couldn’t deny that, but he missed all his friends. “I know,” he told her. “Me either.” Phil bit on the inside of his cheek as he contemplated what to say next. The air felt heavy and he didn’t want to confront any thing else. He had already exhausted himself from fighting with his sister so much. “I don’t know if anything is ever going to be okay again.” Maybe that was a little dramatic, but he felt like the heavy ache on his chest would never go away. “Or like it used to be, at least. Things just aren’t gonna be the same. I’m sorry for, like, fucking everything up in our lives.” He finally looked over at her and frowned. He wasn’t really sure everything he was feeling but he knew he just wanted things to be okay again. They didn’t have to be perfect, or even good, just okay enough for everyone to be able to sit in one room again and be able to laugh. Phil was asking for the bare minimum, he thought. Had he spoke the words his heart felt he knew he would have colossally fucked things up even more. He didn’t want to cause anymore pain or drama so he was choosing to keep his confusion to himself. It’s not like he had actually sorted out any of his feelings about any of this anyways. “I don’t know what to do, Kimi. I don’t know what either of us should do. I feel like everyone is going to just stare at us every time we’re in a room together now. Watch us like we’re some kids. I hate it so much. Like...I feel like I can’t even make my own choices anymore. That is has to be a fucking group vote or some bullshit.” He let out a sigh. “I don’t know, I just-- I feel like if I would have been someone else in this situation no one would have batted an eye.”

@itskimibtch

[philthedeville]

"Sent me a clear message, taught me some hard lessons." - lil

Phil was exhausted. He was done fighting with Lil. She never had anything decent to say to him since the incident. That’s what he was calling it for now, at least. For some unknown reason Lil seemed to be out to make Phil feel like the worst person alive and she was quite successful. He’d isolated himself from his friends after she blabbed about what happened and that wasn’t something he was going to accept lightly. He was sick of her attitude though, sick of her always picking fights with him, and sick of her acting like one night was the end of the world and everything was going to implode. He was just done. “No, Lillian,” he finally snapped. “You taught me some. You taught me that not even the closest fucking person in your life is always going to be there when you need them most. Instead they’ll turn your back on you after one stupid mistake and demonize you to all your friends!” He was shouting already and he was so angry he couldn’t contain his feelings any longer. “You’ve been so dramatic throughout this all. Coming at me left and right because you’ve made me out to be the villain in your life. We’re supposed to be better than that, Lillian. You and I have always shared a bond no one else could ever understand. Does that not matter to you anymore? Does anything fucking matter to you anymore other than what you want?!” He took a step closer to his twin, towering over her. “I’m done fighting with you. I’ve apologized. I’ve taken a step back from everything. I tried to give you space. Nothing will ever be good enough for you though, will it? It’s always going to be Lil’s way or no way. I’m done letting you tell me how to live my life and living in your shadow. You don’t want to be associated with me like that? Then fine. You left on your own accord. That was lesson enough that you didn’t want to be seen as a pair or whatever. I don’t really give a shit. Do what you want. The only one ruining our relationship is you. I’m not going to be berated by you any longer or let you throw shit in my face. You don’t like anything I do and nothing I ever do is going to be good enough in your eyes.” The last time Phil had spoken to Lil was at Susie’s party. She was drunk that night and they argued, and as usual nothing came of it other than more anger and distance between them. Phil was damn near convinced his sister wanted nothing to do with him but he knew no matter what she’d always mean the most to him. He didn’t want to make everyone feel in the middle of everything. That made him feel a little guilty. He didn’t ask to be made a villain to everyone around him and still feel like garbage even now. Phil didn’t understand why she couldn’t let it go. It was over. Nothing could change the past. “I love you, Lillian, but I’m just so fucking tired.”

[philthedeville]

{lillian}

“Oh, because you’re one to talk about the mature thing to do. You don’t want to talk here? Fine.” Lil pushed past him, opening the door to the cold outdoors and shutting it behind her. The chill of the night instantly ran through her body, bringing her to a sobered focus she hadn’t had inside. “This is the first time you’ve said the word sorry since it happened, and I had to beg you for it. If you really were, you would’ve said it a long time ago, unprompted. I had to tell Chuckie and Tommy because I had to go live with them, and you didn’t just sleep with my roommate, but with Chuckie’s sister, too. He had a right to know.”

With a scoff, Lil shook her head, folding her arms over her chest in frustration and for warmth. “You don’t think we’ve had enough space? I didn’t leave you alone long enough holding a grudge over this?” His words stung, and Lil wasn’t sure if they really hurt that badly or if she was just feeling more hurt now that she was drunk, but she felt tears threaten to well in her eyes. “No one’s asking you to be perfect, Phil, but I wouldn’t be a good twin if I let you just smoke and rot in our parents’ basement until the end of time! How am I supposed to watch you do that without doing everything I can to make sure that doesn’t happen?” All Lil could hope was that he couldn’t see the tears that had spilled onto her face in the darkness, and she rubbed at them angrily, almost ashamed that they’d come down in the first place. 

~

Phil let Lil push past him and storm outside. He let out an exasperated sigh before following her, closing the door behind them. “Fine. You know what? I don’t regret a damn thing. Is that what you want to hear? I’m sorry that you found out the way you did. I’m sorry people are upset. But I’m not sorry that Kimi and I grew closer and that you have a problem with it.” Phil scoffed. “No, you chose to go live with them. No one made you leave your apartment. You did that on your own. Yeah, sure, Chuckie deserved to know. You could have at least let his own sister tell him.” Phil crossed his arms over his chest, just as she had. Maybe it was a scary twin thing how in sync they had done it. “Just stop it. Stop worrying about what I do. I don’t need you to worry. I’m fine. I’m just doing my own thing and figuring shit out still. You think I feel great about my life choices? No one’s fucking perfect, Lillian. Not even you. I don’t need you to prevent whatever you think is going to happen. I need you to get the fuck off my case. So fucking what I smoke, or whatever. It’s not like I’m actively doing self destructive shit.” He noticed the glistening in her eyes from her tears and felt a little guilty. “Just stop this now. Why do we always have to fight?” He let out another sigh and hesitantly took a step closer to his sister. “Just let this shit go, Lil. Just...relax. It’s over and done with. No one can change the past.” He bit the inside of his cheek, unsure of how to feel or what to say. “I love you, okay? You’re always going to be a pain in my ass, but irregardless you’re my sister and I love you. I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just think you need to take a breath and relax.” 

[philthedeville]

{tommy}

Tommy had a busy New Years evening planned — while he promised to stop by Susie’s party and hang out with his brother, cousin and friends, he also wanted to spend more time with Kim that night. They’d been spending more time together and enjoying a lot of it, despite the awkward moments they first encountered. So, he decided to make an appearance at both events, making sure to be at Susie’s as early as he could. He was anxious to see how everything would be with all of their friends, if tension would continue to linger or if things would ease up. Seeing Phil early in the evening, he made his way over to him and gave a friendly pat on the back. “Hey man, it’s good to see ya.” He didn’t want things to be weird, for Phil to feel like an outsider despite what happened. They were all a family at the end of the day, and he’d been spending a lot of time making sure Lil was okay. Now, it was time to have a check in with Phil. “How’ve you been holding up lately?” @philthedeville​

~

Phil wasn’t originally going to come to the party Susie was hosting but he also didn’t want to offend the gracious hostess for putting together such a nice party. It really was a good turn out. There was plenty of food and fun to go around, but Phil just wasn’t enjoying himself the way he thought he would. It was still so early in the evening and he already wanted to dip, despite not making much conversation with anyone. When Tommy approached him a friendly pat on the back and a nice comment he couldn’t help but smile. “Hey, man,” he greeted, “you as well.” There didn’t really feel like there was tension in the air between the two of them and Phil was grateful for that. “I’m fine. Just, chilling. You know. Same shit different day.” He shrugged. “How’s all the film stuff coming along? You know the offer for me to be the star of the show is always there. Your film would be a hit with a hottie like me as the main face of the camera.” He let out a laugh to make it known he was joking. Well, mostly joking. “I’m fine though, really. I just need people to stop acting like I’m not.”

[philthedeville]

{lillian}

Lil had a feeling that her joke wouldn’t land well, but at least she thought it was funny. In all fairness, he’d deserved one final dig before they made any attempt at amends. “My god, can’t you take a fucking joke?” she huffed, setting down her plate of dessert to follow him through the kitchen and toward the door. He couldn’t be serious. Just because she gave him a bit of shit he was going to turn on his heel and run away? She was done with his gimmicks, with him being an absolute child and treating this like he was the victim. 

She followed him to the door, though he’d pivoted to have the last word before trying to leave Susie’s. Lil was definitely drunk, and she was grateful for it having to listen to her brother’s pity party of a speech. “You know, all of this could be over if you just took some responsibility and apologized. That’s always been hard for you to do, but this is ridiculous. I don’t care if you’re not sorry for sleeping with my roommate, but you should be sorry for making things so fucking awkward with you, with her, and with everyone else. You wanna know why people are uncomfortable? No one’s talked about what the two of you did because you haven’t talked about it. We shouldn’t have to be the ones to poke the elephant in the room. Stop throwing yourself a pity party, put on some fucking big boy pants for once in your life and fix it.”

~

Phil didn’t want to do this. Not right then and there. Lil was drunk and Phil knew she would regret something she said if she kept rampaging on. “I can take a joke, actually.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall. “Do we have to do this here? Can’t we talk later when both of us are sober and don’t have a household of our friends in the other room? Isn’t that, like, the mature thing to do?” He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you never really gave me the chance to apologize before turning all of our friends against me. Maybe had you not fucking went and told the whole goddamn world this wouldn’t have blown out of proportion. I am sorry. I never wanted to create this big space between us where we feel like we can’t even talk.” Phil was getting angrier as the moments passed. “Don’t tell me what to do. Stop trying to control my life and telling me what I need to do or not do. It’s my life and I’ll make my own choices. I never said you had to agree with them. I don’t just mean...this. I mean everything! It seems like no matter what I do it’s never good enough in your eyes. Well, guess what? I’m done caring about what you think of me or what I do. It’s exhausting always arguing with you because you want me to always do the opposite. Let me fucking learn myself. Not everyone is as perfect as the golden child, ‘Princess Lillian.’ I get it. We’re not on the same level like we used to be. I realize that now. You’re off doing your own thing and being independent, or whatever, good for you. That’s not me, Lil. I don’t know when that’s going to be me. Just...get off my back about everything. Please. I need my space and you invading every aspect of my life does not help. You’re my twin and my best friend but I just want to be left alone sometimes.” He glances at the door then the time on his phone. “I have to go. I don’t need to give you a reason why, either. Don’t flatter yourself and think it’s because you’re bitching at me though. I planned to leave far before that started.”

[philthedeville]

{wendy}

closed starter for @philthedeville​

Since she’d been preoccupied with Peter and Cubby, and had heard from Tommy that his friend had been in a strange headspace, Wendy hadn’t thought much about Phil. She figured that he wasn’t interested in her anymore since she hadn’t heard from him, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t enjoy her time with him. He was a good guy, and she didn’t wish him anything but the best in whatever he was dealing with. Now that she was back at school from break, Wendy was back in Amity Park, and though it was a big city, she figured she might run into him at some point. “Phil?” she asked as she repeated the name the barista called out, looking over to see the familiar face. “I thought that might be you. I don’t know any other Phils,” Wendy greeted with a small laugh. “It’s been so long, how have you been? Happy holidays, by the way.”

~

Phil needed a morning pick-me-up. Well, more like early afternoon despite just waking up an hour before he left his house. He’d ordered his coffee and was about to be on his way when he heard a familiar voice call his name. When he spotted Wendy he smiled at her. “The one and only, apparently,” he said with a laugh. “I’m fine. How are you?” he asked. “I hope you had a good holiday season. I’ve just been hanging in there, you know? Taking things one day at a time.” He gestured to an open table nearby to where they were standing. “Did you want to sit? If you have time that is. I know how busy you can be at times.” Phil had forgotten how nice it was just to talk to Wendy. After their brief romance he’d kept his distance because of all the drama that seemed to attack Wendy. He felt for her and hoped she was well, sometimes even wondering what could have been. He knew he wasn’t the right type of guy for her though and had given up on any hope of them as anything other than friends. She seemed to be preoccupied with Peter and Phil didn’t want to cross any more boundaries with his friend. “It’s nice to see you again. We need to stop being strangers.”

[philthedeville]

{kimi}

If she hadn’t drank too much, this party would’ve been a lot harder to deal with. The alcohol made it bearable. Kimi had never felt so out of place with the people she loved the most, but she had no idea how many of her friends actually wanted her there. There was some sort of weird tension she couldn’t shake, like a cloud following her around, and she was certain it wasn’t just in her head. Halfway through chomping on the chocolate treat she had been relieved to come across, she looked up, her eyes just so happening to meet Phil’s, and she couldn’t stop the small genuine smile that tugged at her lips for the first time tonight. “Am I wrong to assume you brought the brownies?”

@philthedeville

~

Phil had not spoken to Kimi once that night. Not even in group conversation, though he hadn’t said much in any conversation that night. He knew at one point he would have to talk to her though, even if it was just small talk. Phil hadn’t really prepared himself to talk to anyone about anything, let alone speak to Kimi. Though he couldn’t help the small feeling of relief he felt when she smiled at him and made a small joke. “I mean, I think Susie made regular brownies. I just brought a small pan.” He shrugged nonchalantly. He glanced around, making sure no one was around as he didn’t want anyone to think anything of them chatting alone. “So, do you feel as awkward as I do and want to run out of here as fast as possible or is it just a me thing?” He bit on the inside of his cheek and glanced down. “This is stupid,” he muttered. “It’s over and done with people need to let it go. Fucking bullshit.” 

[philthedeville]

{lillian}

closed starter for @philthedeville​

Upon seeing her twin walk into Susie’s place, Lil’s heart rose into her throat. She was kind of hoping that he’d gotten too scared to come to the party and wound up chickening out, but of course he showed up. They hadn’t talked to each other since Lil had left her own apartment because of whaat he and her roommate had done. Of course, she’d gone home for the holidays, but the two had barely spent time together. It was all for her parents and grandparents. She had thought a lot about what she’d say to him, but now that he was here, in front of her, all Lil wanted to do was grab her girlfriend’s hand and run straight back to their place.

She’d avoided her brother successfully for a while, but when she went to grab dessert in the kitchen, the only other person inside was, with her luck, her twin. She swallowed hard, cursing her sweet tooth and need for the brownies Susie had made. “Phillip,” she said simply, avoiding eye contact as she filled her plate. “I hope in the new year you resolve to be finished sleeping with my friends.” Maybe it was a little harsh, but Lil thought it was kind of funny, and it was the only thing she could come up with at the moment. 

~

Phil missed his sister, he wouldn’t deny that. She was his twin, and most importantly his best friend. His actions weren’t justified and he’d been avoiding everyone like the plague. After their mom had all but forced him to go to Susie’s he obliged. He’d been at the party maybe an hour and a half or two hours, but was already ready to leave despite it not even being midnight. So, he’d grabbed his jacket and was cutting through the kitchen to sneak out the back door when Lil walked in. When she began speaking all he did was sigh and shake his head. “This isn’t the time or place for this, Lillian,” he told her, annoyed. “My friends too, if you’ve forgotten,” he mumbled under his breath. Though he didn’t really feel like he had friends at the moment. Sure, everyone had been friends since practically birth but he felt so distant and out of place that he didn’t want to be around any of them. Even Lil.

“I’m leaving,” he said. “I’m just really tired. Don’t think I’ll make it to midnight this year,” he added with a forced laugh. “Besides, I just think it’s best if I do. People seem...uncomfortable when I’m in the room.” He shrugged. “It is what it is, or whatever. I guess I don’t really care but I just want to go home. If you want to actually have a conversation about this in the proper setting you know where to find me.” He already had his keys in his hand and shoes on. “If you want to find me that is.”

[philthedeville]

@classicpickles​

Phil wasn’t sure why he decided to come to Susie’s party. He felt out of place and like all eyes were on him at every moment. He was mostly keeping to himself, not talking much or cracking jokes like he usually would. It was is mom’s idea for him to go when she found out Lil was going, and as much as Phil would have rather stayed in his room and played video games for the night he forced himself to get out of bed and get ready to go. Hell, he’d even shaved for the small event and made a pan of ‘special’ brownies! He was in Susie’s kitchen, trying to stay away from the crowd as much as possible and just snack on the different foods there when Angelica walked in. He understood she was Tommy and Dil’s cousin and all but why was she such an annoying brat? There was no use in ignoring her because they’d already both looked at each other, so Phil figured he would break the ice. “So, how’s the store and all?” he asked awkwardly before tossing a grape from the fruit platter into his mouth. “Business is good, I hope.”

[philthedeville]

{kimi}

♡

The whole situation was weird. It was weird Lil wasn’t staying at the apartment again. It was weird that Lil’s brother was standing in front of her holding her hand. It was weird that he was touching her when they were both sober, and maybe even weirder that she liked it. But it was sweet. He was sweet, something she didn’t realize before. She knew Phil had depth to him of course, but just like Kimi, he seemed to lock it away. Reserve it for rare occasions. She didn’t open up much. Even to those she was closest to, she kept her emotions surface level for the most part, stayed upbeat and positive and didn’t dwell on anything deeper than annoyance over a bad day. It had been different that night, the things they’d talked about. She couldn’t help but look at him in a different light, she would even if they’d never gone as far as they did. She wasn’t sure what that light was, yet. Everything was confusing, and she worried how the rest of their friends would react when their little secret came out… if it hadn’t already.

“Lil will never forgive me,” she worried aloud, pulling her lip between her teeth. She hoped that wasn’t true. She couldn’t imagine going forward without her best friend. She’d been there since she was… a baby. She meant the world to Kimi. She hadn’t meant to hurt her. She didn’t answer for a moment, thinking it over. What would make her feel better would be ignoring the worry until she couldn’t any longer. “What about the girl you’re into?” Lil had told Kimi about him drunkenly trying to contact her on the way home. She didn’t know if he’d patched things up or not, but she didn’t want to be the reason whoever he was into put a wall up. It hadn’t crossed her mind until the aftermath, but she didn’t want to get in his way because she was desperate to not be alone tonight. “Whatever is going on there, the last thing I want to do is mess it up. What do you want?”

~

Phil’s mind had so many different thoughts going through his head. He heard echoes of their conversations that night, even early into the morning before they finally fell asleep. He remembered how that felt and how that put him at ease. Thoughts about Kimi swirled his mind as well. Then there was his sister. She was so pissed and Phil still wasn’t sure of a way to fix it yet, so he was hoping in time she would forgive them. Kimi’s worried voiced made Phil ache for her. His hand gave hers a gentle squeeze. “Yes she will. She’s forgiven me for so much over the years. She’s a loyal person, but....you just have to give her time to come around. I know she will eventually.” Phil wondered if in the mean time she wanted to spend time with him too. “Does she realize she’s only going to push us closer together if she won’t talk to either of us?” he wondered aloud. “Do any of our friends realize that?” 

The mention of Wendy threw him off guard. He hadn’t really thought of the girl that much lately and had given up efforts, but also didn’t want to upset his friend. He figured it was just best to back out of the whole thing. “What?” Phil asked. “There’s nothing going on there. I haven’t spoken to her really since that night. Besides, I’m pretty sure she was into some other guy anyways.” He bit the inside of his cheek as he pondered for a few moments on what he did want though. “I mean, I want Lil to forgive me. Forgive us. I know she blames me more than you. That’s just how she works. She’s always finding a reason to be mad at me it seems. I want Lil and I to be as close as we used to be, I just don’t know if that will ever happen. I want to just...be somebody, I guess. Not just some nobody.” He shrugged. “I feel...alone. I just want someone to spend time with and listen to me.” Phil wanted Kimi’s comfort more than anything. Every time his hand touched hers or his lips had been against her it had just felt natural. As much as he would experience their night over and over again he just wanted to be with her that night. “I don’t really want to be alone tonight,” he admitted. “And you’re the person I want to spend my night with.” He slowly, almost hesitantly, wrapped one of his arms around her waist while the other still held her hand. “I think we could both really use each other right now.”

[philthedeville]

{blaise}

//closed starter @philthedeville​​

Blaise doesn’t really see Phil outside of work, and truth be told, he never really cared much about his affairs unless they involved the kitchen. Thus, seeing Phil alone in a bar with an obviously downcast face sent warning signals to his brain to leave. Lumiere was strict about the fact that he was only a mentor for his talent and not much for anything else. The last person who should ever give advice is him, and he knows it. Plus, it’s Phil. The kid is disastrous and crazy at times; the crocs have always infuriated Blaise, but he couldn’t seem to talk him out of it.

Deciding against his better judgement, his feet walked towards the other boy and sat on the barstool right beside him. “Alright buddy, what are we drinking?” He said with a gentle pat on the young boy’s back. Blaise called out for the bartender, starting with some good ol’ beer in pint glasses. “What’s with the face? What’s happening?” The concern was genuine, although Blaise wasn’t into the teenage drama shit at all. “Let it out, c’mon. That’s what I’m here for.”

~

Phil felt so gloomy. He was torn between what was right and what he wanted. Apart of him wondered if what he wanted was right. He felt that it was unlikely though. He’d decided to just be alone for a while to ponder on his thoughts so he went to a bar that none of his friends or sister would suspect him to be at. It was unexpected that Blaise approached him. When the older man ordered two beers Phil didn’t say much. He mumbled out, “I don’t even know,” and leaned his chin in his palm as he watched the bartender get the beers. “It’s a long story, but I slept with my childhood friend who is also my twin sister’s best friend and roommate and now I think all my friends are pissed at me,” Phil said, trying to sum things up the most he could. “The problem is I don’t think they care about what either Kimi or I want!” Phil had already had a fair amount to drink and was to the point where anything would slip out of his mouth.

“So what if we were fighting?! We made up!” Phil let out a long sigh. Phil and Lillian had always came as a package deal but when Lil moved on and Kimi got to see her everyday Phil grew jealous. Now him and his sister were as far apart as ever. He didn’t blame Kimi this time, knowing it was just as much his fault as it was hers for Lil and their friends being upset. Phil didn’t even want to know how Chuckie would react. He reached for the beer that was placed in front of him and started chugging until he’d drank about half of it. “I just, like, don’t understand why they care so much! It’s not really their business anyway. I feel like I can’t trust anyone right now.” Phil looked down at the beer. “I don’t really know how to fix any of this. I can’t change the past and I wouldn’t if I could. I don’t regret a damn thing.”

[philthedeville]

{kimi}

CONTINUED FROM HERE AND HERE.

Here she was afraid that he was about to tell her he needed a break from her, and the complete opposite was spilling from his lips. She was confused after everything that had happened, it was hard to even know how she felt… but she couldn’t regret it. That was the worst part; even after the wedge she’d put between her and Lil, her and possibly everyone else, she couldn’t bring herself to want to go back and change it. She couldn’t bring herself to want to stop him when he kissed her again. For a moment she gave into the feeling before forcing herself to break away, trying to ignore the fluttering in her stomach. She was all for making her own path, enjoying her life, not conforming to standards others put out for her. She was all for not caring what people thought. But this felt different than making a fashion statement or flipping strangers off for being rude in public. This felt personal. “How do you not care what people think when they’re your best friends?” She whispered. “I don’t… I don’t even know what I think. I don’t… think I want to stop either, but I don’t want to fuck everything up.”

@philthedeville​

~

Their kiss was short lived but it gave Phil goosebumps. HIs hand had cupped her cheek just before she pulled away but he didn’t move his hand. He did drop it though just to reach down tog grab her hand. He wasn’t sure if a comforting touch was something she needed, but it was what he had to offer. He had never been the best with words. “Well, I guess I do care. But, like, I try not to,” he admitted. Phil tried his best to have a carefree attitude but there were some things he just couldn’t get past. His friends would soon shun him as more of them begin to learn what happened. Phil didn’t regret a damn thing but he sure did get pissed that people would be upset. What they did together on their own time was no one else’s business. Lil was rightfully upset, he supposed, as she had all but walked in on them in the act. Still, his twin was smart and pieced it together immediately. He sure did think she should just get over it and move on though. 

Phil felt closer to Kimi after everything. If people were going to judge them he wasn’t going to waste time wallowing over it. Well, try his damn best at least. “You don’t have to stop. Not if you don’t want to. I don’t want to.” He gave her hand a light squeeze. “We should be able to do what we want. Whether that is together or not. I’m not going anywhere though. We’re in this together.” He gave her a small smile. “You’re not fucking anything up. What’s going to make you feel better? Let me help you.” Phil took a step closer to her and looked down at her and found her eyes. “For a little while stop caring about what other people think and think about yourself and what you want.”

[philthedeville]

"You knew the entire time?"-Tommy

@directorpickles

“Knew what?” Phil asked. Was this about Wendy or maybe Kimi? He wasn’t sure. “I’m not really sure what you’re implying. You’re going to have to be more clear than that.” He crossed his arms and scrunched up his nose. “You’ve been talking to my sister, haven’t you?” he finally asked. “Is that what this is about?”

[philthedeville]

"It hits different 'cause it's you." - Kimi

@itskimibtch

“I don’t know if that’s supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing,” Phil admitted. “What I do know is that...I really just enjoyed spending time with you. Even if it was just going out and barely getting to play games with you it was just nice to be alone with you.” Phil bit the inside of his cheek before taking a step closer to Kimi. “I’m sorry if I complicated things. I know Lil is upset but...she can’t control what me or you do. We can both make our own choices and if that’s each other then she will have to deal with that.” Phil wasn’t quite sure what he was saying he just knew since that night with Kimi she’s all that’s been on his mind. “You’ve been my friend since we were babies though. I don’t want to ruin that.” He let out a sigh and rubbed his forehead. “I hate how that I feel like I can’t even talk to you alone now. I feel like there’s eyes all over me, watching my every move and that someone is going to just reach out and stop me.” He grabs her hands, almost instinctively. “I guess what I’m trying to say is...I wouldn’t mind spending more time with you if that’s something you’re interested in. It hit different for me too. I felt like I was with someone...close. And that I actually care about for more than just a night.” He finally looks up from where he realized he was staring at the ground and into her eyes. “I care about you a lot. I always have. I care about all my friends, but...I realized I don’t really care what other people think. Why do they care so much about what we do? They don’t care about how we feel. It’s just about them.” He leaned his forehead against Kimi’s and closed his eyes. “I just like the way this feels right now and I can’t stop thinking about how you felt in my arms or against my lips and...” He trailed off as his lips found hers. “I don’t think I want to stop what we started,” he whispered against her lips.

[philthedeville]

{kimi}

Lil’s eyes immediately darted to the unscathed couch, its blankets neatly folded and pillows placed like no one had touched them. “So you didn’t have time to put pants on, but you cleaned up the entire couch already?” she questioned, narrowing her eyes. “And played video games this morning?” Something was off, though she couldn’t figure out what. “I was at Riley’s last night, these are their clothes,” Lil explained quickly, almost brushing it off. Where she’d been last night wasn’t on the top of her list of concerns. She watched carefully as he filled up his glass of water, taking a sip. “It’s almost noon. Kimi’s not up yet?” Knowing her roommate by now, no matter what the night before held, Kimi was usually up by this time now. Heading toward her room, Lil stopped by Kimi’s first, giving the door a knock. “Anyone alive in there?”

He must’ve gone home. Upon waking, Kimi rolled over to find the other half of the bed her empty and figured Phil left shortly after she’d passed out. She didn’t blame him for not waking her up before leaving, smart of him to do so before his sister got home and they had to figure out how to sneak him out the window. She didn’t remember what time it was before exhaustion had won out, and she had no idea what time it was now, but she was only working one job today and didn’t go in until four. Surely she had time to get ready. She didn’t have time to think over what happened before she heard the rapping at the door, and Lil’s voice. Shit. Immediately filled with guilt, she slipped out of bed and grabbed a robe to wrap around herself before opening the door. “Barely, I’m starving, I need–…” Breakfast. It was then that her eyes landed on Phil across the room, and she couldn’t stop them from widening. She wasn’t prepared. How much did Lil know? All of the grogginess from seconds before was scared out of her. Play it cool, Kimi, play it cool. “Oh, Phillip’s still here, hi Phillip.”

~

Phil knew he was fucked the moment Lil had walked into the apartment. How was he supposed to cover up his tracks while his clothes were in Kimi’s room? “Well, actually, I slept in your bed,” he lied. “It’s more comfortable and warmer.” He had to think of lies on the spot, one after another, and he was not in the right state to be doing that. “Oh, Kimi and I played Mario Kart last night,” he stated simply as if everything were casual. “We, uh, played games really late last night. She probably just needed to sleep in.” Then Lil knocked on Kimi’s door and the other girl appeared in the doorway. Phil froze before saying, “oh, hi, Kimi.” It was all he could muster up as his nerves were starting to get to him. “Didn’t expect to be the first one awake today,” he said with a nervous laugh. Get it together, Phil. “I mean, I usually sleep in pretty late somedays is all.” He realized he was still in his underwear and his face grew red. He needed his clothes and he had no fucking idea what he was going to do when Lil realized where they were.

[philthedeville]

{kimi}

~

When Kimi’s hand tightened around his hair he couldn’t help help out the soft moan that escaped his lips. She had a literal hold on him and that wasn’t something he minded. In fact, she had some sort of grip on him in that moment and Phil felt like he was under some spell. As she demanded to go to the bedroom Phil was quick to wrap his arms under her legs and stand with her in his arms. He knew he wasn’t sober enough to carry her all the way there so after a few steps he let her down and immediately pressed his lips to hers. He couldn’t keep his hands off of her on the way there. He was enchanted by her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and still kissed her as he guided her backwards to her room, only running his shoulder into the wall once. Once they were in his room Phil kicked the door shut and started stripping her of her shirt. He pushed her onto her bed and crawled on top of her, his hands running up her sides and his lips planted back on hers again. After running his hands back down her sides he reached for his belt and undid it. Once his zipper was down he shook out of his pants and began kissing on her neck, just below her chin. His lips made their way lower and lower until he was completely down her torso, just above where her panties were. His eyes looked up at her then kept kissing lower over the fabric while he kept eye contact, in attempt to tease her. He couldn’t resist a feeling in his entire that body that wanted to touch every part of hers. He ran his hands up her thighs then began rubbing between her legs over the fabric of her underwear.