#chat:kimi

[jazzykitten]

~

Kimi laughing was possibly the best sound Berlioz could have heard all night. It gave him some sense of relief that he might be able to distract her for the night and lift her spirits. Seeing Kimi so down was unusual and it made Berlioz sad. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. "And neither are you. I'm not allowing it. So, we're not going to go down that path. Don't let your mind go there, Kimi." His voice was sincere as he spoke. It would do no use dwelling on the what ifs.

Berlioz's gaze followed her as she lit the pipe and inhaled. Her Bob Ross comment made him chuckle. "Yeah, my brother's the artist of the family. Not me." He looked back at Kimi and shook his head. "You're not a downer. Not tonight and not ever. Just because you're hurting doesn't mean you're still not fun to be around," he tried to assure her. But beauty is pain and love hurts, right? The words rang in his head over and over. She was right and it was a bitter truth. Berlioz's felt like every time his heart beat it was pressing so hard against his chest that it would break free. He had to keep his cool for Kimi. He needed a distraction for the both of them. "Life is always shitty, that's the harsh matter of reality. You have to find the not shitty things to distract you from the truth." He grabbed the pipe off the table and took another long hit as he lit it. Placing it back on the table he held the smoke in for a moment before slowly exhaling, only letting out a few short coughs. Hopefully that helped him chill out.

"Alright, we smoked. What do you want to do? There's plenty of options. You get to choose. Whatever you want." Berlioz looked back to her and locked eyes through the splits between hair that had fallen back in his eyes. For a few moments he just looked at her, something clicking in the back of his brain. Kimi was really pretty. It wasn't like Berlioz thought she wasn't. She was just...right there and so close. Maybe the weed was helping. He wasn't sure. He just knew that he was really attracted to her in that moment. Berli had to almost force himself to look away and shake another thought from his mind. "Or, uh, I can just put some music on. We can sit here and talk." He glances slightly back at her. "Like you said...I'm no Bob Ross, but...I don't know. I wish I knew how to make you feel better, Kimi."

Kimi didn't particularly want to be left with her thoughts, but she figured if she couldn't handle a few minutes then she was... quite frankly, fucked. She just really didn't want to think about it. No matter how strongly she missed them, Lil and Kira weren't going to magically reappear. She felt like she had to be the strong one when it came to her friends, for everyone except Angelica. And with her dad and Chuckie, if she wasn't the one trying to assure them that her mother was okay, whether she believed it or not, they would all be spiraling. She realized in this moment she'd never felt more alone. She started to pull her knees up on the couch, hug them to her chest to comfort herself, but then remembered it wasn't her furniture and she shouldn't be getting dirt all over it so she left them dangling.

Just then he came back, but he was gone again before she even said anything, still caught up in her own thoughts. He wasn't away as long this time before reappearing with water for both of them. Twisting the cap off, she swallowed a generous amount; it probably wasn't a bad idea to hydrate after consuming alcohol, though she really didn't feel like she'd drank much. Maybe sadness had sobered her up. What a buzzkill.

"That's how you know it's good," she laughed, brought back to Earth by his coughing. "God, Berlioz, don't you dare die. If another person leaves me this week, I might just disintegrate myself." Not that her best fried and her mom were dead. Surely... surely they weren't dead. Fuck. She wasn't going to even allow those thoughts to wander, so she hurriedly flicked the lighter and took in a fair amount of smoke herself, trying not to cough up a lung before placing it on the table. That should be enough to mellow her out some. "Well, you're no Bob Ross, but..." Grinning at him, Kimi shook her head. "You're fine. I'm the Debbie Downer here. But beauty is pain and love hurts, right? I guess that's just a... shitty part of life."

[wendymadarlings]

closed starter for @itskimibtch​

With Tiara claiming that Faye wanted nothing to do with helping Wendy get a kitten, she decided to look elsewhere for help. She'd passed the pet store so many times in the past few days, trying to gather the courage to go in and actually go through with getting a cat. She wasn't sure what had given her the push to go in one day on her way back from her parents' house, but before she knew it, Wendy had pushed open the door, heard the bell ring that indicated she'd entered the shop, and put a smile on her face for the girl at the counter. "Hi," she stared, "I, um, don't really know where to start with this, but I think I want a kitten. I've never had a cat before, but we had a dog growing up, and from what I've heard, they're more challenging." Wendy swallowed, looking around the store before turning back to the employee. "Any help or advice you have would be greatly appreciated. I'm just a little lonely living on my own."

[lillillians]

continued from here for @itskimibtch​

Lil was mad. She didn’t get mad at Phil very often, but she was pretty pissed off about how he had thrown away (at least, in her eyes) his chances with an actual really nice girl for what she thought was just a one-night-stand. It could’ve been more, but Lil had truthfully stalked this Wendy girl online, and she seemed a hell of a lot more put together than Selene, that was for sure. If anyone could pull her out of this rut, though, it was Kimi, who was doing just that. “Ugh,” she scoffed, “fine. But if we see you-know-who, either of them, at the alley, I’m going to have to be contained. Got it? Like, seriously contained. Like, I will maybe have to throw a bowling ball at someone contained.”

[lillillians]

closed starter for @itskimibtch​

Everyone had warned Lil against being roommates with her best friend, but living with Kimi had been nothing but smooth sailing so far. She couldn’t really see herself living with anyone else, in fact, until she found a spouse, or Kimi did. Whichever came first. Her favorite part about living together came with their Friday movie nights, which quickly became a weekly tradition after they’d started them the first weekend after the two had moved in. They were slowly but surely checking off the movies on the list that Tommy had hand picked for them, despite how disgustingly long it was. “Alright, it’s your pick this week,” she said, plopping herself on the couch. They split the choices after it became too hard for one person to decide: one of them picked the movie, while the other chose takeout. “I just called in the sushi. Let’s hope it doesn’t take a freaking hour this time to arrive. Like, all I wanted was an avocado-cucumber roll. That’s not so hard to make, is it?”

[jazzykitten]

~

The idea of throwing a party made Berlioz's skin crawl. Being at someone else's party with only one person he knew was nerve wracking enough. Why would he want to make it worse? "No, thank you," he said as he shook his head, hair that was long overdue for a cut falling over dark eyes. "I don't even think I have enough friends to throw a party. I don't like people much if you haven't noticed." He brought his drink to his lips again, taking a few long sips and welcoming the burn in his throat that came along with it. "You're right though. It's pretty dull." He glanced around the room, trying to find an escape route without avail. He wanted to hide in the bathroom again, maybe take another bump to boost his bored mood, or ditch the place all together but he didn't want to bail on Kimi or seem lame. He also didn't want it to be known that anxiety was creeping up on him. The combination of drugs and alcohol in his system probably didn't help that though. Despite that he took the final sip out of his drink before setting the cup down on a nearby table. "Maybe we can find a corner of this house that isn't crowded." He briefly glanced around again. "I just need space to breathe."

Kimi liked to party with Berlioz. She had good company that didn't ditch her the second he had a chance. And it didn't hurt he was easy on the eyes. "Are you kidding? My mama didn't raise a quitter." She laughed a bit harder than the moment called for, already a little buzzed from the drinks she'd downed earlier as the last one began to catch up with her. She wasn't regretting coming tonight, hell, she didn't believe in regrets. "I think we should start planning these things, though. We could do so much better. They need... a game machine. Karaoke. Something."

[jazzykitten]

~

Berlioz half smiled at her. He didn't want to imagine having to bear the thought of his mother suddenly disappearing along with his best friend. He wasn't quite sure who he would consider his best friend but regardless if any of his friends or family went missing its safe to say he would be very unwell. "Well, maybe you should take her advice then." He shrugged. "I'm fine with it. Make your self comfortable. I'll be right back." He disappeared into his bedroom, pulling a box off his shelf with his weed essentials inside. Berli felt the itch crawling up his back to do a quick line. There was still a small bag of powder in his pocket from when they had been at the party. It was tempting, so tempting. So, Berli caved and quickly did what he needed to do. He wiped his nose, making sure there were no remnants of what he'd done left on him. When he was certain he was clear he quickly packed them a bowl then returned with the packed pipe and a clear bag with the rest of his weed.

"I didn't know how much you wanted to smoke," he said casually before setting the pipe and bag on the table. Berlioz could feel the drip in the back of his throat and he tried to swallow. He needed something to drink. "Water might help with this too." Without another word he quickly went into the kitchen and returned with two water bottles, handing one to Kimi before sitting on the couch. He opened his and took a few sips before setting it on the table and grabbing the pipe instead. He dug in his pocket for a lighter then pulled it out to light the bowl. After inhaling deeply he passed her the pipe. The high of the cocaine had crept up already and he felt like his mind was buzzing. Was he talking too much? Being pushy? A million thoughts had popped into his mind as a bit of anxiety came over him. The weed would calm him down, he told himself. He hoped so.

Berli hadn't realized he'd held the smoke in for so long then turned and began coughing into his arm. When he caught his breath he grabbed the water again and drank. He really hoped he wasn't throwing the vibe off, but it was hopefully just his anxiety talking. He smiled at Kimi before saying, "I thought I was dying there for a moment." He let out a light laugh and brushed his hair from his eyes. "I swear it won't kill you though. What is it they say? Beauty is pain, or something like that. Same thing goes for weed, I guess." His feeble attempt to make her laugh was almost pathetic. His eyes found hers and he tilted his head to the side. "I'm pretty terrible at this cheering people up thing, aren't I?"

Kimi was silent as she followed Berlioz, which was somewhat of a... rarity for her. It wasn't like she talked that much, but she usually had something to say, some sort of conversation starter, input — she wasn't someone who found peace in silence. Her mind was so clouded now, though, that she could hardly remember she wasn't alone. She couldn't remember now, the last thing she'd said to her mother. Had she been annoyed over something small, short with her because work had sucked? Or had she told her that she loved her the night before? Had they even spoken all day? She had taken it for granted, even knowing that her brother had lost his mom... she just always assumed that she'd have tomorrow.

"Don't worry about it, I'm practically mess blind," Kimi joked, pulling herself from her guilt to focus on the present. The present where both her best friend and her mom were nowhere to be found. "I... don't know," she admitted, looking around for half a second before she settled into the couch. She wanted to ask about his piano, but she had a feeling if he wanted to bring it up, he would. "If Lil was here, she would probably tell me to hit a bowl and cheer the fuck up." Someone else she had taken time with for granted. As much as she thought she appreciated Lil while she had her, it hadn't be enough. It could never be enough. "Maybe, if you feel like smoking. Maybe it will make me better company."

[jazzykitten]

~

Berlioz froze for a mere second when Kimi responded by telling him that he could come to her if need be. Instead of letting the inner turmoil come to the surface Berli half-smiled and nodded once. "I know. I appreciate it." He inhaled from his cigarette, holding the smoke inside for a moment before turning his head to exhale. "No need to worry about me tonight. I can assure you I'm fine." His smile grew the slightest bit. "We can go to mine though, for sure." He gestured for her to follow him the short walk back to his apartment, and when they arrived he let her in. He couldn't recall the last time someone had come over other than maybe his mother or possibly Toulouse. Even that was sparce. He sure as hell knew he'd never had Kimi over.

"I know it's a little messy but...I don't really get visitors. Sorry, I hope you don't mind." He pulled off his jacket and tossed it over the back of the couch. His apartment was cozy yet spacious enough to home a piano in the corner of the living room. A piano that had gone untouched for days, which was a rarity for Berlioz. "Do you, uh, want something to drink? Or a snack. You can sit wherever. I can play some music or put something on the TV." The television was rarely used, sometimes Berlioz wondered why he had it at all except when he got the motivation to play video games. "I know we were just at a party, but I have plenty of alcohol if that's what the vibe still is. Whatever you need, Kimi, just let me know." He wanted to do a few lines, but wasn't sure that was Kimi's vibe. He was pretty sure she wouldn't be opposed to smoking some weed, but snorting substances was a different story. "I think I have enough weed to pack a few bowls too, if that's something you'd be interested in."

When he offered to leave, too, Kimi did feel a little relieved. She had wanted to spend time with him more than she'd wanted to be at the party, but she didn't feel like she was the best company. While she was usually fun to be around, at least she liked to think, she felt like she was just dragging her feet tonight. She hadn't gone this long without seeing her mother, and she didn't think she'd ever went more than two days without at least talking to Lil since they met as little girls. The only thing that was keeping her head afloat was knowing she had Chuckie and Chas to be strong for, because both of them would be a wreck without Kira. Understandably so. Her mom had this way of just making everything seem okay. It was ironic, when she needed a hug from her the most, she was nowhere to be found.

"Thanks, Berlioz." Standing in the cooler night air, she inhaled it deeply, letting the familiar scents of the city she grew up in fill her lungs. For a moment she wondered if her mother was back in Paris, and what she might have been smelling if she was. And how she would find a way to get back to them. "We can go to your place. Mine kind of looks like a tornado hit the living room right now, but I guess it's still on the table." Her hands pushed into the pockets of her jeans, she eyed him quizzically. "You know that too, right? That you can come to me?"

[jazzykitten]

~

Berlioz had seen the announcement. He'd seen the list of missing people's names. Upon those names were ones he recognized but no one close to him. Thankfully. He wasn't sure why Kimi asked him to go out that night, maybe she needed a distraction. He didn't blame her. He would likely spiral so far down he wouldn't ever get back up if something happened to his own mother. The thought alone made him feel uneasy. He had a drink in his hand, mind balancing on the line of unfocused and distorted, and brought the cup to his lips to finish off the last of it when Kimi spoke his name. He glanced down at her after setting his cup beside hers. "We could leave together," he said with a shrug. "If you're not feeling it I can understand why."

Berlioz brushed some hair from his eyes before gesturing for her to follow him outside. The moment the air hit his face he already felt like he wasn't suffocating inside. He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, plucks one out of the pack to place between his lips, then lit it. He looked back over to his friend, holding the cigarette away from her. "I can make sure you get home in one piece," he started as he exhaled smoke. "Or, if you're up to it maybe we can just...chill. The two of us." His thoughts were hazy and words were just coming out as they willed, but he wasn't gone. "We can go somewhere where there's nobody. We, uh, we could go to my place." He hoped the words didn't sound like he was insinuating anything because he wasn't. Berlioz wasn't heartless. All he was trying to do was help his friend if she needed it. "You know, Kimi...I know you're really sad now but..." His brows scrunched up. He was starting to understand how people must feel talking to him all the time. "I'm just trying to say I'm here if you need me is all."

LOCATION: the party at swizz's ?? a club? FOR: @jazzykitten

She thought it would be a good distraction, she had practically begged Berlioz to come with her tonight, but as she stood among the others, all Kimi could find herself doing was searching their faces, hoping Lil would suddenly burst out of the crowd or her phone would ring, her mom calling to check in, and everything would be normal again. Like the missing posters had been nothing short of a bad dream. She'd only drank half of the cup she'd been clinging to since arriving and, looking down at it now, realized she had no desire to finish the rest. "Hey, Berli," she spoke, just loud enough to be heard over the voices around them, placing her beer down on the closest surface. She felt a little guilty for dragging him into this just to abandon him, but she didn't want to stick around and be a Debbie Downer either. "I think I'm going to head out, I'm not feeling it. Do you want to step out with me, get some fresh air?"

[jazzykitten]

~

Berlioz had to admit that Kimi was right, the party was lame. The music was very mediocre and the people there weren't any better. Not that Berlioz really wanted to mingle with anyone, he'd pretty much stuck by Kimi's side as if they were attached at the hip the whole night. Aside from a few trips to the bathroom that sometimes took a little longer because he was indulging in other recreational activities. He had a red cup in his hand, mostly vodka mixed with some soda. He took a long sip from it before nodding and speaking. "I don't think there's going to be a shortage of alcohol." Or other things, Berlioz thought seeing as he had noticed a few people either high as a kite or actively participating. "Didn't you notice how many bottles there were? There's also a shit ton of beer. I didn't even count how many cases." He shrugged. "If you want to leave, we can. But the alcohol is free here."

LOCATION: some rando's house party FOR: @jazzykitten

"I wanna say they know how to throw a party, but this is actually pretty fucking lame," Kimi nearly shouted over the music, stepping closer to Berlioz. She was grinning, bringing yet another red solo cup to her lips. She was mostly here for the free booze, and because sitting at home on a Friday night sounded boring, but good company was also a plus. Emptying the drink, she lifted her shoulders, letting them fall into a lazy shrug. "As long as they keep these comin', I guess."