peterpanpoppunk-blog

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Peter aesthetic: Cleaned up but haven’t changed. 

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Peter let the words smack him in the face. That’s at least what it felt like. “you left me.” Is that what Phillip thought? Is that what people thought had happened? Was that what he had done? Peter was shocked. Sure he had left, but it wasn’t like he had... left. Like he had no intention of not coming back. He had left a note, hadn’t he?

Peter thought back to the morning when he had decided it was time to shape up and realized that no, he had not left a note. He wrote it and stuck it into his pocked like a fool. He sighed. That explained it. Phillip had thought he had left him. Just up and left like some lame country song. And here Phillip was, packing and getting ready to leave because he couldn’t stay anymore. 

But Peter was back now. He looked up. “I didn’t mean to leave, love. I just meant to fix myself.”

Even Robots Need Blankets || Philter

“I…uh… Well I brought you some flowers. And I… well. Are you moving?”

Phillip let those words play in his mind as Pasha pulling into the flat gave him a moment to think this out. For once. Was he moving now that Peter showed up at his door clean cut after a month of being away? Would he welcome Peter back in so easily?

After he worked so hard to build them up again. He didn’t know and he probably wouldn’t know for awhile. But he did need to make his decision on that right now. Or well before the morning dawned.

“I don’t know,” Phillip said truthfully. Sitting down on the white couch sighing. He rested his hands on his knees and rubbed his face with his hands. “You left me and you suddenly show up again. My world has been twisted right side up again and I don’t know what to do.”

At least he wasn’t being an ass, yet. He was proud of himself for making it this far. He looked up to Peter, patiently waiting for an answer and biting his tongue for the first time in his life. When in reality all he wanted to do was yell at Peter for being so damn selfish.

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Guess who’s back?

Cleaned up, dressed up, and ready to work it out. 

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Everyone in Being Disney RP unfollow this blog.

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Peter didn’t know what he had expected, but looking past Phillip it definitely wasn’t this. Phillip had packed up most of the flat and there were boxes everywhere. Peter was aware he had been gone for a while, but he hadn’t thought Phillip would just... leave. But that was what was wrong with Peter, he expected people to wait around for him to figure himself out and it always bit him in the ass. 

He looked back to Phillip and gestured with the flowers. “I...uh... Well I brought you some flowers. And I... well. Are you moving?” 

Peter pushed past Phillip, partly because he didn’t much feel like talking in the hallway and partly because Pasha had pulled him into the flat, no doubt looking for Pluto. He heard the door close behind him as he looked around at the emptiness. It was quite surreal and he was rather uncomfortable with the whole situation. Maybe he should have stayed in London. Maybe Phillip didn’t want him to come back. Maybe he still wasn’t the man Phillip deserves.

Peter turned to face Phillip once more feeling hopeless.

Even Robots Need Blankets || Philter

Phillip looked up to the door and sighed. Who the hell was knocking at his door? He just wanted to pack up the lounge the last room to be packed up and just go to bed. Tomorrow would be a pain in the ass. Getting all the boxes down to the Uhaul that housed his new motorcycle. Something he had hoped would cheer him up and fill the hole Peter had left.

Had it worked?

No.

But did Phillip love his motorcycle?

Yes.

He walked over to the door opening it ready to tell the person to fuck off. And he had started to. Fuck left his mouth but off died on his tongue seeing Peter.

His heart leaped in his throat, his hand tightened around the door knob. He slowly took in Peter, or well, it didn’t seem like Peter anymore. Not the Peter he knew and loved. This Peter was clean cut and actually had flowers in his hands. 

He had been looking at Peter with his mouth open for about three minutes too much with nothing leaving his mouth. Phillip gulped and opened his mouth again.

“What are you doing here?”

Not exactly what he had wanted to say but in this moment that was the only think his brain could think of saying.

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Peter had been gone for a month. He hadn’t really meant to be gone for a month, but it was what he had needed to do. He had caught a train to London. It was the only thing he could think of doing. Things were about to go right for him and that was scary and he also knew that he was not the type of man that Phillip Slayer deserved. Phillip deserved someone who could afford more than one pair of trousers. Phillip deserved someone who could afford to feed himself and his dog, not one or the other.  Phillip deserved someone who didn’t have a drug stash under his pillow. So Peter set out to become the man he thought Phillip deserved. Because then maybe he would feel like he would deserve Phillip.

The first thing Peter did, almost right off the train was find a shady ass corner to get rid of the drugs. He wasn’t going to do them, that would just be bad and a rabbit hole he really didn’t feel like falling back down. Plus he needed money, so selling them seemed like the best bet, and he made way more on that corner in London than he had the entire time he had been dealing in Swynlake. 

Peter spent a month in London getting clean. He got a real job, he bought himself some clothes and he finally figured it was time to go back home. Back to Phillip. Back to where he belonged. He caught the first train back to Swynlake. 

Peter walked towards Phillip’s flat with his new found confidence and his new clothes and a bouquet of flowers (because seriously what better way to say “I love you” than flowers right) and Pasha who had grown substantially over the past month. He walked right up to Phillip’s door and he knocked lightly on the door. 

Even Robots Need Blankets || Philter

The days where long, the nights longer and colder for Phillip. It felt just like before when they had broken up, cold and starless those nights. Sometimes they felt like the sun would never come up. And even when it did. Phillip rarely felt the heat on his cheeks.

During those nights he thought, he thought a lot. About those few moments they had together before Peter just, left. After it had seemed everything was finally, finally, okay he woke up to an empty bed. At first he thought Peter just went out and did whatever Peter’s do. But he never came back. A week turned into two and now it had turned into a month. And Phillip had just lost hope. He started to pack up his little bit of paradise because he couldn’t stay in this flat one more moment if Peter wasn’t coming back.

But the funny thing was Phillip had actually thought Peter cared for him as much as he did for Peter. Honestly he had been fooled by the flying man and he had fooled himself, this wasn’t a fairy tale and happily ever after never happened. And the faster he accepted that the better. For his sanity, for his heart.

But the most important reason, himself.

He had that once in a lifetime love and he took it for granted. Now he needed to go and find something else far, far, far, away from this place. To start healing and looking for his next dream.

@panthemanofswynlake

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Visual Development from Peter Pan by Mary Blair

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Always remember that time that Elton John was God. 

I need more dreams And less life And I need that dark In a little more light I cried tears you'll never see So fuck you, you can go cry me an ocean And leave me be

You are what you love Not who loves you In a world full of the word yes I'm here to scream

No, No Wherever I go, go Trouble seems to follow I only plugged in to save rock and roll, rock and roll  

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Peter wanted to say ‘and I love you too’ or ‘and I want us to be okay again’ or something like that but he opened his mouth and nothing came out. He couldn’t speak. He had no words, they were caught in his throat just before the vocal chords and wouldn’t make a sound. 

He closed his mouth and swallowed. He fidgeted on the rock and looked Phillip in the eye. Why was he so scared to just say what he felt right now? Why was he so worried. Phillip was clearly ready to fix this and make amends from what Tink had told him. From what Tink had told him. There it was. That was the problem. That was the reason for the fear. 

Peter wanted to hear it from Phillip. He wanted Phillip to say it to him, he wanted to hear the words come out of Phillip’s mouth. “Telling my best friend how you feel is all well and good. But me hearing it from her makes it lose a little bit of its luster. I want to hear it from you, so I know it’s real.” 

Spring Fever || Philter

Phillip gulped and nodded, he was trying to contain himself. Everything in him wanted to leap forward and literally attack the dork in front of him to kiss away the pain but he just couldn’t yet.

“She did?” He asked, walking a little closer to Peter and sat down in front of him Indian style. He almost didn’t want to open his mouth and ask the next thing but he needed to ask. 

“And?” It barely made it out of Phillip’s throat. He was so afraid of Peter just shrugging and walking away never to speak with him again. Jesus (why was he cursing so much lately? It was probably Jesus’ way of telling him to go back to church) if Peter wasn’t the one for him why did Phillip hate the idea of being free?

So he just sat there trying to contain himself, trying to brace himself for what was about to happen.

It was in Peter’s court now.

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Peter’s eyes shot open and he laid there staring at the sky, half hoping he had been hearing things and that Phillip wasn’t standing behind him. He stayed like that for a few seconds before he rolled over, and pushed himself up to a sitting position facing, you guessed it, Phillip. 

Peter folded his arms across his chest, suddenly feeling a bit exposed even though he was normally comfortable in as little clothing as acceptable. Something about Phillip still made him a little bit self conscious.  He had wanted to enjoy this day by himself, and even though TInk had explained everything to him he was still a little bit lost on what he felt for Phillip.

He knew he loved Phillip, completely and totally, but he was confused as to why it hurt so bad. Love wasn’t supposed to hurt, love was supposed to be a good emotion that felt good and made others feel good when you shared it with them. 

He didn’t know what to say so he just said “Tink talked to me. Told me everything.” He didn’t bother with a greeting, he didn’t bother with hello. He felt they were past such formalities and dammit he just wanted everything to be back to okay again. Sure they weren’t perfect but that’s what made them perfect. He wanted everything back to the messy, broken okay that was them. Even if it hurt for some reason. 

Spring Fever || Philter

Phillip wasn’t sure why he felt the need to go to this festival or whatever it was. Maybe it was because Gaston was there and this was the only time he would be table to dunk his boss.

Or maybe it was for the funnel cake but as soon as he saw a stand he turned his nose away.

So no Phillip didn’t know why the hell he was there.

He just wandered letting his feet take him wherever. Soon the crowd thinned until he was wandering closer and closer to the lake. He kicked in a stone sighing deeply to himself. He knew Tink was going to talk to Peter and he knew Peter needed time. But Phillip just needed him back.

He tugged at his hair and looked up. His heart pounding at the site of Peter. Jesus had he somehow known Peter was going to be there? But then again Phillip knew of Peter’s love for nature and all things considered. 

Before he could even think Phillip was slowly walking over to Peter, when he approached he almost caved and left him alone but his mouth was open before he could do that. “Hi Peter.”

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Spring Fever || Philter

Peter was incredibly excited for the Spring Equinox, and the festival the town had centered around it. He was very much a nature person and if he had to say he was religious, he would pick one of the naturalistic ones. So of course he was thrilled to spend his day wandering around by the lake looking at all of the things that were set up for people to do. 

It was the first time since the incident with Phillip that he hadn’t crossed Peter’s mind. Peter was just too caught up in walking around in his bare feet, shorts, and shirtless, even though it was still a bit chilly out he was not about to let that ruin his day. He had wandered down right to the edge of the lake and was walking around it just taking everything in. The small groups of people crowded around the dunk tank and the kissing booths, the large crowd that had gathered for Clopin’s magic show, and the couples who were walking around same as he. For the first time in quite a while, he smiled genuinely, just happy to be outside on a lovely day reconnecting with himself. 

He sat down on a rock on the edge of the lake, laid back and dangled his feet in the water. The sun was high and hot in the sky and he allowed himself to close his eyes and just feel the warmth on his face and chest. 

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♫

OOO Either BFFF by Bowling for Soup

You are my best friend in the worldAnd I hope that you knowThat when we hang out togetherIt’s frickin’ awesome

OR

Kids in the Dark by All Time Low

Here we are,At the end of the road - a road that's quietly caving in,Come too far to pretend that we don't - we don't miss where we started,Looking back, I see a setting sun, and watch my shadow fade into the floor,I am left standing on the edgeWondering how we got this far, (how we got this far...)They left us alone,The kids in the dark,To burn out forever,Or light up a spark,We come together,State of the art,We'll never surrender,The kids in the dark,So let the world sing,"What a shame,What a shame,Beautiful scarsOn critical veins, "Come together,State of the art,We'll never surrender,The kids in the dark,The kids in the dark...

Sort of went on a tangent with the Kids in the Dark lyrics, but I couldn’t just pick one part it’s to perfect. 

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MUSIC MEME; 

Send “♪” for a song that reminds me of my muse.  Send “♪ reverse” for a song that reminds me of your muse. Send “♫” for a song that reminds me of our muses relationship. 

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Wrong Number || Tink & You

Peter: yeah please and thanks

Tink: see you in a bit, pete.

Tink: love you

Peter: love you more Twinkie