persephonbee

[persephonbee]

Cant have fucking shit in Detroit

[persephonbee]

Apropos of (almost) nothing: I'm the kind of pedant who dislikes calling tentacle porn "tentacle porn" not because I think it's aberrant but because, 98% of the time, what's being depicted are octoform arms or tendrils, not tentacles. Tentacles are defined by the clubbed ends, which are the only part that have suckers. If it's tapered and has suckers all the way down, it's an octoform arm; if it has no suckers at all, it's a tendril.

You're welcome.

[persephonbee]

what a time to be alive

[persephonbee]

anyway shoutout to non penetrative sex

[persephonbee]

i think weight loss ads should be illegal and im not kidding

[persephonbee]

[persephonbee]

hey guys who wants to see a christmas decoration someone in my area put up

[persephonbee]

My (extended) family decided several years back that everyone purchasing gifts for everyone is too expensive, so we decided to start doing a family white elephant gift exchange every year instead.

This year, I decided I would buy a tortilla blanket as my gift after seeing them online many times. This turned out to be a very fortuitous decision on my part.

We start the gift exchange, people are opening gifts, etc and its all normal until it gets to my brother's girlfriend. She picks a gift, opens it, and lo and behold it is my tortilla blanket I brought. She loves it. On the next turn, my cousin steals it from her. She's devastated but picks another gift to open.

It's another tortilla blanket.

She is, of course, elated at this turn of events. But now it is mine turn, and I decide I shall steal the blanket from her. Everyone thinks this is hilarious (except for her, she's absolutely devastated again). She picks another gift and opens it.

It's a third tortilla blanket.

As it turns out, three of us, completely independently of each other, decided to purchase a tortilla blanket as our gift to bring to the exchange.

[persephonbee]

Such timing.

Goes to show the insurance companies don't need the money.

[persephonbee]

[persephonbee]

Discussing baby’s future

[persephonbee]

man turned 26, got kicked off his parents' health insurance, experienced firsthand how the healthcare industry works, and said absolutely not and took direct fucking action

luigi mangione they could never make me hate you

wishing you a speedy jury nullification and acquittal, king

[persephonbee]

[persephonbee]

Hi real quick does anyone have the cat gif that goes like this

[persephonbee]

Intro to the 1989 reprint of The Color of Magic the first Discworld book by Terry Pratchett.

“At least ten.” Lmao

[persephonbee]

You know you've fucked up when you go to a doctor and the thing you have wrong with you has been named after an occupation that isn't a thing anymore. Like imagine a doctor looking at you and going "yeah you've got ox-drawn ploughman's disease. We don't even test for that anymore. Yeah the reason you've never heard of it is because the last known case was in 1927 and happened to some guy who was like 98 years old and didn't believe in modern medicine of the time. What the fuck have you been up to."