persephonbee

[persephonbee]

Please, I can only get so erect!

[persephonbee]

I love that you can just grab kittens. old cat have achy joints and a sense of dignity that you have to play into, so you gotta be deliberate and respectful in hoisting them, but if a kitten is whirlwinding past you, you can just reach out and snatch them. and they'll be like 'mamma mia, I never did nothing :p' and writhe around and lick your fingers. highly abductable animal

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[persephonbee]

[persephonbee]

the world is running out of glassblowers and yet you want to become a fucking doctor

[persephonbee]

Recently discovered, fully by accident, that the trick to feeling like you have more time in the day is to actually do shit with the time that's there, which seems fake and wrong and it's frankly infuriating that it works >:|

[persephonbee]

one time a ranger 1 (so not law enforcement) at the state park where i worked was getting rid of a bunch of clothes so he put them all in garbage bags and dropped them off at the bunkhouse where all the seasonal employees lived and he said we could go through them before he donated them and we all took a tshirt or two and then a month later we were throwing a party and I was like "we should all wear his clothes to the party" and he came in and it took him like an hour and five drinks to suddenly be like "wait a minute.................."

[persephonbee]

there's a new social cue coming out. no we're not telling you about it

[persephonbee]

Blank little face. Head NOT empty. MANY thoughts. All CRIME.

Planning applesauce theft.

[persephonbee]

Expertly taking up the entire couch cushion AFTER pulling down the couch cover to play Scary Grabber (where I do an ordinary thing while pretending I don't know he's there and then act surprised when he jumps out and grabs me repeatedly. It is his favorite bathroom game).

[persephonbee]

JUNIE!

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[persephonbee]

remember when guys would just wear anime girl orgasm face compilation hoodies out in the world i want a where are they now for those people. i do assume most of them have passed away from vape rig complications

[persephonbee]

(via)

[persephonbee]

i hated the food i made so much i forgot that i made it and that it was in front of me and started ordering pickup

[persephonbee]

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

[persephonbee]

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby