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Memorable 2021

I am writing this not because the year is ending, but because one of the most impossible things happened to me this year. Half of the year has passed as I a writing this on the 24th day of July to be exact. Now back to the most impossible thing. Ever since college, I had a HUGE crush on this guy. There was a point in my life where it felt like my whole world revolved around him. I was classmates with him a few times, and we really do not talk, but I like him. LIKE A LOT. He has a cute smile, face, voice, and everything he does radiates positivity in me. However, he is a male, and worse he is a Muslim. He cannot date anyone with the same gender and based on my observation, he is religious. So that made me sad. My ultimate crush cannot be mine. So, after a few realizations mind checking, I have decided to ignore my romantic feelings for him and reduced them to something more realistic which is to just be friends with him. As I have said, we were classmates a few times, but that was not enough to build a friendly relationship with him. Thus, I changed my goal to just become friends with him. Hoping that maybe through this, I may completely lose my romantic interest in him. But to my dismay, everything went worse. We were never classmates again during our final years in college, he had girlfriends (which hurt me the most) and I just lost all hope and ignored my feelings for him. Until one day, I realized that I did not care for him anymore at all. Not even a bit or maybe because of the pressure due to graduation. 

I started dating somebody else. I fell for this other guy and as time goes by, I felt like our relationship could be forever until this year. Early 2021, the ultimate crush of mine and I started interacting through our mutual friends and because we play the same fps game. At first, I thought that it was all okay. I got over him few years ago, so I guess it is okay. We started playing this game and we often interact in social media. This all happened in early 2021 and as time goes by, I realized that my feelings for him are coming back. I do still like him. Although now our communication is gone. He stopped interacting with me on social media unlike the past few months. He stopped liking my tweets, reacting to my shared posts on Facebook, etc. I am sad.    

Here I am again. I am on my part two of moving on from this crush of mine. I want to be loyal to my current boyfriend and I do not want to ruin our relationship just because I could not get over someone impossible to be with. All this make my 2021 a memorable one and as I live on with my life, I will always remember this year. Despite COVID, great things still happened and although they were temporary, I had the opportunity to experience them and for that I am still grateful.

PS to my ultimate crush: Wish you the best in life and I am still open for a friendship. Stay cute!

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In Quarantine

Today, marks my first ever week to be in quarantine because I had work the past few weeks and unfortunately, I was required to be present. It has been around two weeks of community quarantine in my city and frustrations are starting to build up on me. I miss the normal life. I miss strolling around malls, watching movies in the cinemas, drinking my coffee at a coffee shop while enjoying the noise of the place while sitting alone, eating korean bbq and other korean food, going out with friends anywhere we want to go, and most importantly having my life back. Ever since this community quarantine was implemented, the lives of the people (including mine) started to become problematic. The anxiety we feel every time there are new reports of cases of infected people keeps on increasing almost every other day and the foolishness of some government officials way of handling this crisis stresses the hell out of the citizens. I personally never have witnessed this much chaos among the Filipino people. The nation is divided and everything is just messed up. Some people I know keep on disappointing me for I keep on seeing their useless blabbering on the social media about their frustrations about the government. I get it, we all are frustrated and mad, but being too hateful and arrogant will never ever solve the problem we people are facing today. Ousting a leader will not magically solve the problem. Can they just focus on what matters right now (which is being healthy and stopping the virus from spreading) and stop with their useless shit? I am mad, sad, tired, and confused at the same time. Being in quarantine taught me how I should never take for granted the normalcy and “boring” life that I had because at times like this, having a normal life is so hard to have that it feels like an impossible dream that cannot be achieved.

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My last year in college

I’ll be starting my final year(hopefully) in college next week. I have never been so shocked my entire life. I never imagined to reach this far in my course. A degree major in Accounting is HARD (At least for me). Through the years, I have been through hell or worse, with the academic pressure and hardships of life all at once. This school year, I vow to give my best for my family, friends, and most importantly for myself. To be able to graduate will mark as my first achievement in life. Praying for strength and motivation. This is it, my last year in college, BRING IT ON!

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In-Process

Today, I felt like I conquered the world. I feel like I fulfilled something great. I hope this would continue throughout the semester. Today is truly a memorable day. I will cherrish it. 

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Lost

Have you ever been so lost? Don’t know why am still lost. Another night, waiting for someone to take me home. Is there a light? Is there a light at the end of the road. 

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People Do Change

I miss my old friends. I miss how we used to talk, hang out, and simply them. I miss them a lot. I miss the way they used to be. Right now, it seems they’re different. I can’t approach, call, or talk to them easily like we used to. I feel left behind. No matter how I strive to adapt with new people and environment, I still get this “feeling” which seeks for my old friends but again, things are different. I don’t know what to do. I’ve got new friends but the company I got with them is nowhere near compared to my main oldies. Hopefully, I’ll be able to understand what is really happening to me. I think the problem is with me not with them. Praying for better days to come. 

:)                                  

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harry potter meme; 2/9 relationships: romione Everything was quiet except for Ron and Hermione’s slow, deep breathing. Harry glanced over at the dark shapes they made on the floor beside him. Ron had had a fit of gallantry and insisted that Hermione sleep on the cushions from the sofa, so that her silhouette was raised above his. Her arm curved to the floor, her fingers inches from Ron’s. Harry wondered whether they had fallen asleep holding hands. 

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Blaming Myself

I blame myself for my failing grades for I was too lazy. I blame myself for my unhealthy body for I don’t have self control. I blame myself for everything. But at the end of the day, I still got a chance to become better. I’m still here, struggling to make myself better. Inspiring myself to study and have self control over the food I want to eat. I want to become better, so I start to become better today. This day, I pledge to finish my checklist (which I will have to write) and I pledge to take a rest when I need and want to. Balance is the key for making myself better.

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Positive

November 18, 2016. Today was a UNIQUE day. Although it was embarrassing, it was fun and exciting at the same time. Watched my favorite series and stored a lot of new series to watch during my free time and will watch my most awaited day this year the next day! Praying for more days like this :)

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Doing Nothing

School started a week ago yet I don’t feel any pressure and that worries me a lot. As a college student, I find myself very chill and kinda don’t care of what happens in school. During the weekend, I did nothing. Instead of studying my major subjects, I watched a movie with my friends wasted my time watching YouTube videos and movies that aren’t that relevant. I want to be pressured but not to the point where I need to juggle my acads with some activities that I don’t like doing like sport events in the upcoming Sportsfest in our school. One of my classmates/friends is a dancer and number of people, including me, wondered how does he manage to balance his life with his passion of dancing, school, and social life. He just told us that he needs to have a lot of activities to be pressured in order to do things. When I heard him, I was like “WTF, is this a sign? A sign that I must also keep myself busy and not just waste my time doing nothing in order for me to be pressured in school and function well as a student?”. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I want to study well again but I don’t feel like doing it. I guess I need more time but time is so precious to be given to a person like me huhu. I just don’t know. Quizzes are approaching and soon exams will come and yet here I am still doing nothing.

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Happy and Contented

Today was a very chill and happy day and I wasn’t expecting that. We are supposed to have an oral recitation in one of my major subjects and fortunately, our professor was absent. Meaning, more time for me to prepare and study for the lessons. I was also able to get a new baby. A new laptop. I have always been wanting to have a laptop not just for my heavy media consumption and all but also for school purposes (I’m serious). I got a decent laptop, and I love its design. I really wanted a Mac but it’s too expensive so never mind. Overall, I was really shocked of how my day turned out and I really hope that tomorrow will be the same. I want a stress-free day til Friday.

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I don´t feel like going out today

so I´m going to stay and let it rain

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I WANT A DESK LIKE THIS 😍

26.10.2016 : today is all about Kierkegaard and coffee. 

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Now You See Me 2 (Thoughts)

Here are my thoughts on Now You See Me 2: (P.S. I am not a movie critic whatsoever, these are all just my thoughts)

I watched this film because I was curious on how Radcliffe(I’m a fan) will be portrayed here. But this is not about that hahaha. Okay so to start, I watched the first NYSM for a while now and I liked it A LOT. I was not interested in watching the second film because of the fear that it won’t cope up with my expectations for the predecessor film was too good. But I watched anyway. So for the characters, I was kind of sad that Isla Fisher won’t be joining the film but the new girl who was Caplan turned my sadness to a bit of relief for she was funny and quirky AND I was happy for her new relationship with Franco. Ruffalo, Eisenberg, Harrelson, Radcliffe and the great Freeman all did well in my opinion. They are great actors of course. As for the plot, I was not that amazed on how the story goes unlike from the first NYSM film. Some of the magic tricks shown are not that realistic. Example was the rain something that Eisenberg did before the “big reveal”. For me, the actors did so well that they covered up the fact that the film’s plot was poorly made. But I really DO NOT AGREE some of the critics’ opinion about the film and on how low the film scored on different review sites like in Rotten Tomatoes. These critics are unforgivable(wtf). Overall, I give the film 70/100 based on my great and reliable opinion(HAHA). It was confirmed by the producers that there will be a third NYSM film! Wow great! Hopefully, the plot would be great again just like the first and I also hope to see more comedic scenes from the actors(I am curious who will be the antagonist this time). That’s all. 👍🏽

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Movie Night - 10/30/2016 🎥🔮

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Newbie

Hello All!

So, I have decided to blog (kind of). This will be sort of a diary for me, a secret one. Hopefully, I will enjoy Tumblr as much as other people do and express myself freely without the judgments of other people unlike in other social networking platforms like Facebook and Twitter.