peerlesscucumbr

[peerlesscucumbr]

smol bingpup

[peerlesscucumbr]

saccharot​:

        this becomes more & more interesting the more he pushes his luck.  how glad he is that he’s allowed the chase to drag on between sky-high trees & the damp fragrance of the air                     otherwise it would have ended among corpses piled up on top of each other,  as if they hadn’t breathed and laughed just a day prior.

        & THAT’S HOW XUE YANG CAN BE PERSUADED INTO PAYING ATTENTION,  his flickering stare traveling the distance between the two of them up to the blade pulled out of  ( apparently )  nowhere.  he knows as soon as weapons are drawn,  at least one of them is most likely to disappear covered in blood from head to toe.  the only thing that’d decidedly make this whole thing better is the presence of all this sect leader rules over,  watching as a mere delinquent thinks up a second,  third trick.

        “ of course, ”  he begins.  the words that succeed his impertinent & arrogant (re)assurance are detached,  velvety,  & not at all as hurried.  “ i don’t care to cover any of it up.  what’s the point of making it easy for all of you?  i just don’t want to let you look the other way & go about your business peacefully.  it’s not that hard to understand. ”

        however confident & authentic in his declaration,  there’s something about that scolding that doesn’t sit well with him.  there’s too much familiarity with him & his old practices that he can’t chalk it up to a cultivator spitting imprecise nonsense to try & get under his skin   [ … ]   in fact,  it doesn’t resemble a proper reprimand ;  harsh & well-intentioned instruction on not getting caught seems like a better name for it.  “ i’m more curious about why you’re disciplining me all of a sudden.  have i been bad? ”

He doesn’t quite understand it himself … why he disciplines this brat as if he were one of his unruly disciples rather than a criminal. It should be simple  —   punish those labeled as obscene, unjust, cruel —  and allow for the cultivation world to continue along happily as if justice could be upheld in this lawless world.

“ Have you been bad  — ?” and he can’t help but to laugh at such a question. ( There is a faint memory, buried deep beneath the surface that has been left unearthed for years. ) “ —  Stupid is a better word.”

“ As to why  — ? ”( There isn’t even an answer he can tell himself. ) “ Weak-hearted sentiment perhaps. ” and he speaks low, just barely audible for the small present audience of two. Talk is cheap , but the words spill despite this fact as he assesses the man before him.“ He would be around your age by now.” 

What had happened to that child? Death, likely. That was what happened to most children who lived on the streets, unless they could hone their hands into unrepentant daggers, their teeth into fangs, their hearts into stone. “Someone who would likely take foolish jobs for promises of sweets. One can only imagine if he ever listened to my warnings, but all this is nonsense, it’s not as if he was ever my responsibility.”

That day when Shen Jiu was pulled of the streets to be sold to that rich family had spelled the end of all his connections, no matter how hard he had worked to deny that he even had any. 

History was stifling.

[peerlesscucumbr]

oh my god tumblr i just came back and you treat me like this with your formatting and posting things randomly

[peerlesscucumbr]

yesterday was sqq’s birthday, which is an important day 

[peerlesscucumbr]

​

ALSO if anyone is interested in Jing Beiyuan of Qi Ye I’m giving this muse a try over here @reqirth

[peerlesscucumbr]

goldencored​:

“You… you…” How could Cucumber be so cruel? So ruthless? Part of him wishes he did have a camera though, just to show Binghe how utterly disgusting his prim and proper husband could be. The rest of the sect leaders too, for that matter. It would be absolutely wonderful blackmail material. Alas, there are no cameras in the world which he’s created.

Perhaps he could make them, though. He’d recently outfitted Mobei-Jun’s army with cannon, after all.

“Give it back, you troll!” Qinghua rushes after him, reaching for any bit of unbitted pizza that he can get his hands on. “Monster! How can you destroy a pizza like this! Maybe if you were nicer to me, I’d attempt to make an icebox to store said ice cream in! But you’re a little bastard troll!”

Okay, maybe he’s disgusted with himself a little bit as too, considering, well his hands have taken on a saucy hue, and okay there’s a little bit of dough stuck under his thumb nail now.   — but somehow, someway, he can convince himself its all worth it just to see Shang Qinghua like this, metaphorical steam coming out of his ears like those classic cartoons.

— and just like that an awful idea spawns in his brain as he watches Shang Qinghua rush him. 

“Stay back!” Shen Qingqiu yells, waving his stained hands wildly. “I’m armed with... my arms! Don’t make me wipe this on your robes! I’ll do it!”

[peerlesscucumbr]

jazz hands - IM GOING TO TRY TO BE HERE AGAIN;; but only on this blog for now and maybe I’ll revisit the other ones too if I’m feeling it

[peerlesscucumbr]

Sorry I gotta go into temporary hiatus but apparently the damages are going to cost ~5K+ & also I have an interview for a new job u__u I don’t plan on dropping any threads but I completely understand if any of you do! I didn’t wanna ghost anyone so here’s the official hiatus notice.

[peerlesscucumbr]

goldencored​:

“Bro, my King can barely make proper noodles, and that took me leaving in order for him to learn! There’s no way I can convince him to make ice cream.” No, Mobei-Jun has much more important things to do, like running the empire whilst their dear Emperor continues on his however many months he wishes honeymoon! Ridiculous!

“Can’t my son do that for you? Besides, we don’t have the proper ingredients in the Northern Desert to even attempt it.” The climate for storing it? Yes. The goods to make it? No. Even with all the wealth his King has amassed, Qinghua tends to be frugal when budgeting.

The pause he takes seems to indicate Shen Qingqiu was considering Shang Qinghua’s words very carefully, staring at him with his most disapproving glare. It made sense in a way , there was no way Mobei-jun could cook like the protagonist could. It is spite then when Shen Qingqiu suddenly jolts up, he striking one slap onto his bro’s knuckles with his fan , before grabbing the entire pizza pie.

“Then Perish  —  “ and he run twoards the door , stopping when he realized he couldn’t run across Cang Qiong mountains with pizza in his hand. Instead , he begins shoving the pizza in his mouth , a completely disgusting sight for the average human being , let alone a sect leader. Between each bite he somehow manages a muffled “noneforyou.”

[peerlesscucumbr]

pcachlovc​:

“Are you afraid it will be?” Scarlet lips stretch into smile from tugged down mask, blocking the light as he lowers the chair, tone lilting with a touch of curiosity. “…Fear is a NATURAL response - don’t worry.” He has hardly ever met a patient who can talk as much as he does, but it’s another part of the ever-elusive TRUTH, the nature of fear. “It won’t be quick. But I can promise you that I will be very…meticulous.”

Black eyes glitter with a humor he alone seems to be privy to as he pulls on his gloves with a particular snap - and reaches out to pat his patient as a gesture of something like comfort. “If everything goes well, you WON’T have to come back.” The nurses were off and his night appointments were almost always successes.

Fingers wander idly over the tray of tools at his disposal. Gloved hand lingers in the air above a long syringe as if considering it for a second - before moving on past it, picking up the drill. Runs it once and then twice, satisfied by the whirring. “Now then - open up please.” Adds, as if amused by the thought that he might believe the lie - “This won’t hurt at all.”

Is he afraid ? 

You mean , of getting holes poked in his bones and letting some dude ( certified at least. ) poke around in his fleshy mouth ? —  UM YEAH !!! Fear doesn’t even really begin to cover it. Nervous laughter fills the room as he begins to fiddle with this sleeves. At least Dr. Moonjo can assure him that he’ll be meticulous and he won’t have to come back. The repeated visits were starting to get tiring ( though it wasn’t like he was actually doing anything other than being a shut in. )

One second away from rambling some stupid joke , the sound of the drill rips him out of his routine. Oh my god , Shen Yuan whispers under his breath. He clenches his fist, but gives in to his fate of being drilled by a doctor this fine evening. Was that normal ? Weren’t doctors supposed to check x-rays or something first before getting to the drilling ? — Ah, but what does he know anyways, best let the doc get to it.

He gives the weakest thumbs up in the history of mankind. Ready as he will ever be.

[peerlesscucumbr]

saccharot​:

        known for his violent impatience back then,  a younger xue yang would’ve sliced that head off before its mouth finished asking any hard-hitting questions.  of course no one listened to him ;  few really do even nowadays.  that’s why,  after the ear-piercing scream of a defenseless child left to bleed on cold concrete in the middle of the street,  he didn’t mind looking for another reasonable,  fair strategy to go by.  if others didn’t listen,  𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖                     people pay better attention when they have the edge of a sword against their necks.

        in spite of all logic telling him to lose the sect leader or stop chasing when he feels a shift in roles naturally assumed,  given their circumstances,  he stays in sight of the man between falling leaves & tall trees.  he leads his pursuer deep into the forest like a sly canine still starved for more blood   [ … ]   one that knows what it’s doing,  & where it’s going in a place undisputedly considered its home.

        eventually,  when eyes can no longer keep up with his speed & movements,  he climbs,  waits for the moment the cultivator stops right underneath his nimble form standing on a high branch.  he’s chock-full of tricks,  yes,  but he’ll deny it with a straight face ;  he’ll lie with an unbelieving little simper & a sweet-sounding malice dripping from his throat.

        “ what tricks? ”  though before he permits any pause for an answer,  xue yang throws an explosive talisman below & hops down behind the robe-clad leader.  “ there’s no such thing…  unless they worked,  is it?  have you been tricked? ”

The explosion takes him by surprise, an annoyed grunt leaves his lips , and that in itself is a failure . To think that his composure could slip so easily. As dust and dirt kicks up , Shen Qingqiu thinks what a fool  — but he supposes that idiot’s idea of fun would include being crushed beneath the old towering trees of the forest. Perhaps this Xue Yang has some sense of scale , or perhaps it is luck that they aren’t both flattened.

—  but it lays in the fact that he has been tricked that causes Shen Qingqiu to don the role of Shen Jiu and in turn come to rely on one of his own TRICKS. He hasn’t brought it out in years , not since he was a child with fake tears in his eyes and a beggar’s bowl. The comforting weight of the golden coin in his sleeve transforms in an instant , a hidden blade , sharp like its owner . 

It isn’t fast enough to stop his foe from dropping down behind him , but Shen Jiu in a word is vengeful . There is little that can compare to the sect leader’s tendencies of self-destruction. If he’s to die then he much rather them both bleed out on this forest floor , the vegetation feasting on their flesh as he dies and laughs at his enemy simultaneously. 

It is another curious things , that Xue Yang can evoke so many old behaviors that he thought he had abandoned long ago. The words flows like rapid waters as he adopts a scolding tone , “Look at you  — making a mess wherever you go. Are you so confident that you don’t bother to hide your trails , flaunting your crimes like jewels ? What will you do when you bring that trouble home  — ? Even the streets will spit you out , troublesome rat. Instead of being smart you run around allowing useless cultivators to chase your tail. ”

[peerlesscucumbr]

I should be able to do some things soon! I have an interview for a new job on top of repairing the water damage that occurred so slow I shall be...

[peerlesscucumbr]

the stupid recent flood affected me ( not health wise but property wise ) so I’m here but also not rly 100% I’m (ಠ益ಠ) rn but expect a huge slowdown. 

[peerlesscucumbr]

I want to write horror 👁👄👁

[peerlesscucumbr]

@pcachlovc ; plotted starter ; seo moonjo

It’s an irrational fear , he knows , the same kind everyone gets when they’re going to the doctor , but this time’s like the final boss . Forget yearly checkups , this is  — A DENTIST. Shen Yuan can’t help but to wonder who sets out in their life to be a dentist anyways ? Are they like ‘ yeah , my career should be making people cry as I stare down the void of their throat . ’ ?

Ah, but he shouldn’t be so critical . If dentists didn’t exist , this wisdom tooth he’s got digging into his mouth would just hurt forever and who knows what would go on with those cavities. He’s seen this guy a couple of times for medical advice , and from what Shen Yuan can tell he’s pretty professional . It helps a lot , considering he’s fully self-aware that he can get a bit chatty , especially when his nerves are acting out. ( He’s surprised his dentists hasn’t knocked his teeth yet out of spite. ) 

He’s fiddling with his mobile phone , catching up on some web novels before he hears his name called by the nurse.  It sucks that he’s gotta leave himself on a cliffhanger , but the marvelous world of dentistry was calling. He bids her goodbye , ending her shift early apparently . At least there would be no one around to call him a wimp behind his back when they hear his pitiful cries along with the sound of a drill. 

“ Doctor ,” he says amicably as he slides into the chair . Nervous laughter escapes as he nods towards Moonjo , “ Aha , this procedure , it won’t be so bad right ? ”

[peerlesscucumbr]

@ghosturned @tetheredflame @saccharot @reflight @lotusbinghe @saccharot @calamitypath @calamityrot

this is just for book keeping since i’ve amassed quite a bit of threads. Please continue to take your time & reply whenever you feel like it. Please let me know if you’d like to drop anything, if not I’ll just continue as normal! 

THREAD TRACKER

[peerlesscucumbr]

Listen , just because he has a few tiddy CHEST mouse pads , it doesn’t mean Airplane Bro can make fun of him. Shang Qinghua basically set up the entire fandom to thirst for Luo Binghe. It’s not his fault that some of his favorite artists decided to sell some merchandise and , okay maybe Shen Qingqiu didn’t have to buy it , but it was an artistic piece , OKAY?? okay.

“ Listen I’ll let you have ONE. ” and he emphasizes one , fan still drawn back like a weapon, “ If you teach Mobei-jun to make ice cream. His house is probably like THE BEST place to store frozen foods. ”

@peerlesscucumbr​ said,  “   i  caught  you  red - handed .   ” He’s ready to attack Shang Qinghua with his fan.

Qinghua tries his best to look innocent— truly he does. He doubts it’ll sway Shen Qingqiu either way. Cucumber Bro was a little cold, to say the least. Still, he whines and gives a pout to help with his defense.

“Aw, come on, bro! It’s unfair that you teach my son to make pizza and won’t even offer me a slice. Without me, you would be resting your head on a special mouse pad instead of the real deal.”