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Nostalgia de la luz (2010)

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this is midnight in a room that doesn't exist

strange how attics are built as empty spaceswhere there is only past and future;attics are closer to the celestial plane that way,idling in the vastness of spacein a third dimension beyond time,the divine house of spirits and immortalshere, i am the center of the universe,the god-like creature wedged between time,snoring

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ash wednesday

Hi. I'm back to writing again.

i wake in the morning with a yawn, a silent scream / i don’t think i breathe air for the sake of living anymore; i breathe air to be filled / my lungs are an empty space / the gaps of my ribs are empty spaces, muscle-bound tight / one day, my body will fall apart and scatter on the ground / and i wish there was some truck or train or bulldozer to smash myself into dust / disappear / sometimes i…

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Penda's Fen (Alan Clarke, 1974)

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Angel Dust (Sogo Ishii, 1994)

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More

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Les Valseuses (Bertrand Blier, 1974)

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Trust (Hal Hartley, 1990)

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18+10

warning: discusses some sensitive topics (i.e. suicide) one. i celebrate my birthday thinking that, like all beautiful things, this is temporary. i turn twenty-eight at approximately 4:32pm and i do not feel any older. my birthdays of the last five years have been spent crying, but isn’t that what adults do? cry about things they can’t change and pretend they’re wiser than they were a year ago;…

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Paige Lewis, "Diorama of Want"

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while i'm thinking about intimacy and violence and the ways they intersect there's something so compelling to me about allowing someone to hurt you. seeing someone consumed by their rage and pain so completely that it's burning them up from the inside out and saying you need to set this loose before it destroys you. you need to let it out. so give it to me. i can take it. take it out on me. i'm giving you permission. i want you to hit me as hard as you can, for as long as it takes for you need to. the way it blurs the lines between who is the victim and who is the perpetrator. who is in control and who is bowing to whose power and authority. who is truly dependent on whom.

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BUT I WAS LITTLE TOO // ON THE FAILURE OF FATHERS

Michael Wasson This Dusk In A Mouth Full of Prayer // Ocean Vuong Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong // Aftersun (2022) dir. Charlotte Wells // Mitski A Burning Hill // Franz Kafka Letter to His Father // Disco Elysium (2019) cr. ZA/UM // Sharon Olds I Wanted to Be There When My Father Died // Daniel Lavery & Cecillia Corrigan FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE" ENERGY DRINK // pinterest // pinterest // @inkskinned Red Blood, Black Ink // Arcade Fire Windowsill

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BUT I WAS LITTLE TOO // ON THE FAILURE OF FATHERS

Michael Wasson This Dusk In A Mouth Full of Prayer // Ocean Vuong Someday I'll Love Ocean Vuong // Aftersun (2022) dir. Charlotte Wells // Mitski A Burning Hill // Franz Kafka Letter to His Father // Disco Elysium (2019) cr. ZA/UM // Sharon Olds I Wanted to Be There When My Father Died // Daniel Lavery & Cecillia Corrigan FROM THE MAKERS OF "TWO-MOM ENERGY DRINK," IT'S "LET YOUR FATHER DIE" ENERGY DRINK // pinterest // pinterest // @inkskinned Red Blood, Black Ink // Arcade Fire Windowsill

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Raiders at the Gateway to Paradise  -   Helene Schjerfbeck 1924-25

Finnish  1862-1946

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Hiroshi Yoshida

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La bête dans la jungle (Patric Chiha, 2023)