pastel-the-ghost

[pastel-the-ghost]

haha hiiii uuhhh heyyy bestieee uuhhhhh hahahhahaa soooo yknow how iiiiii kinfirmed uzi the other day.

yeah uh can i get an uzi doorman murder drones stimboard that's mostly blue and rainbow and themed around decora kei. haha. <3

uzi doorman [murder drones] stimboard with rainbow and blue decora kei stims requested by @chromanomaly HI AGAIN HEEHEE ^_^

SOURCES

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[pastel-the-ghost]

i do want to say to the other nonhumans who have been told that their otherkin, fictionkin, therian, alterhuman, or other nonhuman identity is "just a phase" and that it would go away if you "had less free time" or "more to do with your time"- i want to say that at least in my case, that's really just a big fat lie

i began identifying as nonhuman in late 2010, early 2011. i was browsing otherkin forums back then, back when forums were still widely used. it took up a lot of my thoughts at first because it was new and it can take a while to figure out what your nonhuman identity is. as time passed and my life got progressively harder, going through bouts of homelessness, living in hotels, having my trust broken by friends... never did i once lose my nonhumanity.

sure it fell to the back of my mind while other priorities took the wheel, like paying for shelter, but if anything, being homeless and experiencing the "real world" solidified my nonhuman identity more than anything. being exposed to the "real world" make me understand that i do not understand how humans think, and that i still am not one, over 10 years later. i never became misanthropic, but my feelings of "otherness" only intensified as i became more and more confused about the human experience, which lead me to feel less and less like one. something like the feeling of a lost coyote who wandered too far into the city, staring at the city skyline, unfamiliar with this terrain, unsure of how to even begin to adapt.

if something is a part of you, it won't just go away because other things come along. i never stopped identifying as a wolfdog even while i was scared out of my mind and busy facing the challenges of the human world. those challenges and hurdles that don't exist in the natural world literally reinforced my understanding of my nonhumanity. i will simply never get the way humans think or operate, and that's fine. it's literally a non-issue.

[pastel-the-ghost]

(Foreword: I’m not vaguing anyone in specific, I’ve seen this a number of times recently.)

I am gonna need you guys to start clarifying what you mean when you say “believe we’re/they’re actually animals”, because if you’re using it to mean “believe we’re/they’re physically animals” I need to point out that that is not what you’re saying, you’re saying “genuinely identify as animals”. Actually is a synonym for genuinely, not physically. If you don’t believe/feel yourself to actually be your kintype, you’re by definition not otherkin at all. Using “actually” to mean “physically” is at best unclear and at worst implying that people who don’t identify as physically nonhuman “know” we’re not ~really~ nonhuman at all, which I know is not what any of y’all mean but is definitely how it reads, especially to anyone not already intimately familiar with the discourse. Please use the words you actually mean, I’m begging you guys here

[pastel-the-ghost]

If you had the power to shapeshift but just ONCE, so no turning back, what would you do?

- I would use it to change something small that bothers me in my body

- I would use to make gender-affirmative changes in my body

- I would use to change a lot the way I look, while still looking like myself

- I would change to look like a completely different person

- I would change to something non-human and just continue my life normally

- I’d change to something non-human, like an animal, and live like an animal forever

- I would do a different change

- I wouldn’t do anything because I’d be scared of regretting it

- I wouldn’t do anything because I’m happy about the way I look

[pastel-the-ghost]

this song is me if you even care

[pastel-the-ghost]

Do any other undeadkin (vampire, ghost, zombie, etc) ever get this weird feeling that you physically don't feel alive? I just noticed that feeling weirdly while I was in the dark outside taking out the trash.

[pastel-the-ghost]

i have been getting some reeeaaaaalllllllyyyy visceral, extremely unpleasant kinshifts recently auauuuuhghhgg

shift descriptions below vvvv

hi ok so the other day i started getting a bit spacey (which is normal for my ghost kinshifts) but it got REALLY intense and i could barely, like. understand that i was actually *walking* on *two legs* instead of floating with a ghost tail like. good lord. and it was super super hard to focus on anything, my body felt way way way too heavy, at one point i was wondering if i even had organs aauuuahhhgh

i just want to be a ghost. and sometimes this causes genuinely upsetting feelings to arise!! like, having a physical body feels wrong, there are things that are boTH KIN AFFIRMING AND HORRIBLY PAINFUL TO ME AT THE EXACT SAME TIME, oh mygod let me be a normal person please. please

I love being otherkin dont get me wrong. Finding kin affirming things and spending time with other otherkin people is fantastic and very fun. But like also. Holy shit.,

[pastel-the-ghost]

nothing hits like the therian + otherkin friendship. like, you’re different but you GET me.

you’re missing your wings and i’m missing my paws but at least we’re missing them together.

[pastel-the-ghost]

why isnt a kin awakening called an awakinning

[pastel-the-ghost]

idk i just think i'm some incomprehensible being that not even i understand sometimes. i dont know what i feel honestly

[pastel-the-ghost]

i feel actively less human tonight friends 👍

[pastel-the-ghost]

is anyone else hyper-aware that they Have A Body because good lord this body sure is bodying

[pastel-the-ghost]

fucked UP that sometimes kin-affirming stuff gets me so emotional in a negative way

[pastel-the-ghost]

im just a raaaag doolllyyyy :3 :3 :3 :3 happy an smilin all day a liitttllleee raaaag doolllyyyy :3 :3 :3 :3 wishin your worries away :3 :3 :3 :3 i stop and saaayyy goolllyyyy!!! :3 :3 :3 :3 this is too good to be true! a liitttlleee raaag doolllyyy plain as can be has a friend who's as lovely as youuu!!!! :3 :3 :3 :3

i think ragdoll shifts just put me in such a silly mood like i'm just so goofballcore :3 :3 :3 :3

🔮

[pastel-the-ghost]

wait because seriously being an adult therian fucking rips, especially when you start being independent.

dog with a blog? nah. dog with a JOB. i come into work with my tail and my theta delta necklace and the building implodes from my sheer swag. weirdo teenagers love me. also having your own paycheck means you can get whatever gear/treats you want (once bills are paid, of course - bet youve never heard a dog say that!)

living in your own apartment? well the pet limit is 2 but if i include myself im going over the limit. whoops! good thing i love lying to landlords (fuck landlords). living alone (no roomie) is even better bc theres no one to judge you for your animal habits. i can make a huge den in the living room and who is going to stop me?

i even have my own health insurance. bro. imagine being a dog with medicaid. im climbing the walls and howling and barking. i love being a dog filling out government paperwork.

having your own vehicle? THIS DOG CAN DRIVE! if i feel like going to the lake i can just go to the lake! nobody is stopping me! midnight ride with the windows down to howl at the moon? yes please!!

you can literally just go wherever bro. i moved 11 hours from my hometown to the mountains to feel more at home. i lived in the great plains and now i can just go out for a hike in the rockies and howl at the sky.

being an adult therian slaps so fucking hard i cant wait for the youth to grow up and experience the joy of freedom. yes being an adult is incredibly stressful but if youve been stifled living with family, you get a real chance to develop who you truly are. adult therians i love you im rubbing against your neck and mixing our scents. mwah.

[pastel-the-ghost]

idea: build an altar to yourself. include dried petals from your favorite flowers. a candle in your favorite scent. include a figurine of a wolf if you're a wolf, of an angel if you're an angel. burn incense. play your favorite song. lay back and close your eyes and... honor yourself. you know?

[pastel-the-ghost]

I need a divinekin friend to keep my life mystical. If anything, I just need em' to keep me in check XD In all reality, shout out to all angelkin, demonkin, and all you divine and intangible kin out there! Yall are cool as f**k and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! You will one day return to your holy (or unholy >:3) splendor, but as you rest in this body, I will respect your divine powers and auras. You deserve it you gorgeous beings!