paranoia-crux

[paranoia-crux]

creating music so toxic

[paranoia-crux]

high on drugs (caffeine)

[paranoia-crux]

Are you afraid?

always

[paranoia-crux]

2012 garrys mod ttt

every time the terrorists win

thrift shop intro bass boosted

blares thru the speakers

[paranoia-crux]

can you read my mind? i've been watching you

[paranoia-crux]

[paranoia-crux]

[paranoia-crux]

i have decided my depression

will only be a sometimes thing-

i have a life to live

[paranoia-crux]

The little girl’s sense of secrecy that developed at prepuberty only grows in importance. She closes herself up in fierce solitude: she refuses to reveal to those around her the hidden self that she considers to be her real self and that is in fact an imaginary character: she plays at being a dancer like Tolstoy’s Natasha, or a saint like Marie Leneru, or simply the singular wonder that is herself. There is still an enormous difference between this heroine and the objective face that her parents and friends recognize in her. She is also convinced that she is misunderstood: her relationship with herself becomes even more passionate: she becomes intoxicated with her isolation, feels different, superior, exceptional: she promises that the future will take revenge on the mediocrity of her present life. From this narrow and petty existence she escapes by dreams.

Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex

[paranoia-crux]

my fav app to play games on is google maps

[paranoia-crux]

[paranoia-crux]

[paranoia-crux]

deep down,... we all have a chemical romance

[paranoia-crux]

"maybe you could come to me

but watch out for the spiderbees" 💜

[paranoia-crux]

how am i supposed to grade these lab reports

when i'm feeling like this?

[paranoia-crux]

i wake up when i decide to stop

fighting the coming of the next day

i fall asleep when i stop resisting

the chokehold of the current one

[paranoia-crux]

just finished the graphic novel bolero, and after rereading sections of it over and over again, i've made sense of it all and i just wanna crawl in my bed and cuddle with my stuffed pompompurin for eternity. but i can't, that's literally the whole point of the story is "don't hide from your life and its painful feelings." it was just so real and raw and brought up so much stuff that i thought i already handled or pushed down far enough that it wouldn't bother me again. now i just need to hibernate, at least until tomorrow.