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I'm re-reading Solitaire again, it's been a while. And I was just thinking about the shorter chapters; I mean, when I read a book it takes me months to finish it because of the long chapters and a lot of things happening in the span of one. But Solitaire isn't really like that, a new chapter is started each time the setting changes. And it makes it a lot easier to read; because I don't have to force myself to keep up. Another reason its my favourite. Idk. It's just nice.

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When you can't save them from their trauma/fates:

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Ah, yes. My favourite trope.

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Well SHIT--

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Dexter in the afterlife watching you all simp over his daughter:

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Yeah, I don't really get upset over characters who had any wasted potential. I mean I can't change them--

Me:

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I changed my mind, this is the character that's made me cry the most:

Whenever I think about her story, I tear up.

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oddities of camena.

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Alexa, play Shamelss by Camila Cabello:

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Me realising that Carmen got the freedom from VILE that Dexter couldn't and Dexter got the childhood that Carmen didn't have:

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"Showed me what my heart was worth."

I could write an essay about Carmen saving Shadowsan just as much as he did for her.

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Okay but the way she's sat on Julia's desk:

*Taps on mic and leans forward.*

Lesbians.

Girl was getting COMFY

And look at that smile :)

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She always looks good but this was life changing:

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Wait a damn minute-

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Please. DON'T melt her face.

(Drowning is okay 😁)

New Years Special, a Summary

By MariCarmen_23

Shadowsan: I did not pull you from wreckage so you could go kaboom.

Carmen: only a bit of me went kaboom

Shadowsan:

Carmen, face melting: like this much I swear 🤏

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@mmaricarmen23 did absolutely amazing on this, I couldn't have written it this well. <3

And I wanted to talk about some points so put up with it.

She is too forgiving but I think that's because she tries her hardest to not be like VILE. She's seen them hurt people over and over again just for the sake of it/ to get what they want. *Cough, Cough. Morocco.*

Personally, I think that they should have shown us a deeper conversation between Carmen and Shadowsan; maybe the did have one. Who knows?

But-- up to this point: Shadowsan has stuck by Carmen and he's never shown any malice towards her; not forgetting that this is just after Stockholm when he nurses her back to health even though he has no obligation to do so.

Carmen fully knows what VILE is like and she's smart. She is told by Shadowsan himself that he was "simply a soldier with orders to follow." And I think that is why she can't bring herself to ill wish him. She holds onto that concept of family from Coach Brunt, she-- like the rest of us can see that Shadowsan did not actively want to kill him.

She simply can't bring herself to hold onto any grudge or hate towards him. Because Carmen is 100% a person that focuses on the change of a person. If they're willing to change, they can be a good person. Shadowsan was willing to/and did change. How could she possibly condemn him?

However, I think her choice to go solo was her trying to figure things out. Shadowsan is settled in Japan. Zack and Ivy with ACME. She has always wanted to be free, itching for a caper because that's just what she does. She doesn't want to.. disturb her family.

Do I believe that Carmen goes solo to let her family settle? Yes.

Do I believe that they never have contact again? No in a million years.

I can't put into words how traumatised this girl is and she probably doesn't even know it.