pansexualravenclawshadowhunter

[pansexualravenclawshadowhunter]

An exceptional step father. 

Luke and little Clary, for @cassandraclare

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#you know what that is? growth

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me: I hate rich people. They are everything that is wrong with the world. WEALTH RE-DISTRIBUTION

Lightwood-Banes & Carstairs living their fancy ass lives

me

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i’m still stuck at tessa writing to sophie and talking about the time they fell asleep together with the kids

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(x)

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The diary is cursed! There's something wrong with it. Even so long after Tatiana death, there's still evil on things she's touched. Blasted witch!

Julian thinking the worst about his future is breaking my heart. 😭😭😭

Julian to Mark

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going thru phone pics and found this thing that was tacked up next to the toaster at my old job, if anyone needs some light toast eating reading material

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I wish you all very good sex. if you don't like sex, I wish you a very good romance. if you don't want either of them. I wish you a very good bowl of soup and some bread, mate.

[pansexualravenclawshadowhunter]

Chain of Thorns Theory 💔

Chain of Iron and SoBH spoilers

I don't know if this theory has already been put forward by someone else but...

My theory for the next book is that Matthew will die. My reasons:-

1. Since Lucie is in a limbo-esque state because she tried to raise Jesse who also was in limbo, someone else will have to sacrifice themselves for her. A life for a life.

2. In the first book, there was a (one sided) romantic storyline between Matthew and Lucie. Even though he might not love her in that way anymore, I think he'll sacrifice himself for her not only because she is James's sister, but also because she's Cordelia's future Parabatai.

3. The fact that Emma and Julian found a flask with Matthew's initials on it. This isn't the most concrete argument but it is one in favor of my theory (that Matthew is either dead or in limbo).

4. For those arguing that Cordelia might actually end up with Matthew, since we know that the Herondale line still exists, we can infer than James has obviously married somebody. Due to Chain of Thorns being the last book in the series, there won't be time for James to have a well-developed love interest. So either he ends up with a character we barely know or he marries Cordelia. The same logic will be why Matthew also will not marry someone else.

In conclusion, my theory is that Matthew will either sacrifice himself to bring Lucie back OR he'll die in battle saving Cordelia or James. Either way Matthew Fairchild will die in Chain of Thorns.

If you think I'm wrong let me know why! I would love to hear more theories.

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oh god oh fuck oh god oh fc ck o h gdo

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Never uploaded them all together!

From The Infernal Devices Shadowhunters saga by @cassandraclare!

Hope you like :)

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an illustration for my grandmother

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Tessa to Maryse

Dear Maryse,

As one mother to another, I’m writing to you for advice. It’s been many many years since I was raising children, and when I say many years, I mean more than a century. And now I find myself in that position again. Although we have not talked frequently, I have often thought what a wonderful mother you must have been and continue to be. After all, your children have turned out so wonderfully. Isabelle is so brave, Alec such a leader, and Jace, well, I can only tell you that I know what an excellent example of a Herondale is, and he is one.

I also know that you have experienced profound loss and grief, and that you understand it.

I am writing to you about Kit. He too is a Herondale, and I believe that he will be an excellent example of one as well. But like all Herondale men (and the girls, too, believe me I know!) he is very private and secretive. On the whole Jem and I wish nothing but to respect his privacy. But when comes the time when worry requires one, as a parent, to intervene?

A few nights ago after dinner I stopped by Kit’s room to give him his phone (he is forever losing it and leaving it somewhere!), and I found that he was not there. Glancing out the window, I could see him outside, standing in our front garden. He had his back to me and appeared to be staring off into the distance, but I could tell by the way he was standing and the movements of his shoulders that he was agitated. Concerned, I followed him outside. I came up behind him quietly, not wanting to startle him. Perhaps I came too quietly. I realized immediately that he was talking to a ghost—I’ve had experiences of such things before. As is always the case in this kind of situation, I could hear only his side of the conversation.

Kit said, “If you keep trying to talk to me about this, I’m not going to be able to see you anymore.” Then he said, “Of course I believe in forgiveness. But some things are so terrible that you never want to revisit them.” There was a long pause. I thought maybe it was over. And then he said, “Don’t you understand? Everytime you bring him up, it tears another piece out of my heart.” Then he turned around, and of course saw me, standing on the path outside the house. He didn’t say anything, just gave me a sort of betrayed look and ran inside.

The next day of course he just pretended that nothing had happened. I just don’t know what to do. Should I leave him alone to work through this on his own? I always figured there must be ghosts at Cirenworth—Kit has informed me that there is a ghost dog that he plays with sometimes, a retriever I think —but I can’t imagine any of them as malicious or hurtful. And indeed it didn't sound as though he were afraid of the ghost, but as though the ghost brought back dark memories of his past. Perhaps of his father? I just don’t know what to do. Jem thinks we should let him work it out on his own, as he is a teenager, but then I remember my first two children, when they were teenagers, how there were times when they did need my help. (I am very much hoping that Kit is not having a tempestuous affair with a ghost, as I’m not sure I could go through that again.)

It’s keeping me up nights worrying. If there’s any advice that you have, I’d love to hear it.

I’m enclosing a picture of Jace and Clary with Kit and Mina, last time they visited. They look so happy!

All best,

Tessa

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I feel guilty as F0ck whenever I eat more than my mentally designated portion of food. Mostly it's when I don't feel full. I take a second serving and feel so guilty about it. I feel like literal trash.

I've been working really hard to lose weight this last year and I have successfully reduced it too. I'm down 18 kilos from my highest recorded weight. And everytime I eat more I feel like I'll gain it all back again. I know that this is a dumb and baseless sentiment, but I can't get it out of my head. Especially since I just checked and I gained .5 kilos.

Since the holidays are coming up and I'll have family visiting, I don't know how I'll eat. I feel sick when I think of eating a huge amount, but I know I'll do it just the same.

I eat and then I hate myself. I can't imagine starving myself. I'd like to not eat as much, but I can't bear being hungry. Food is such an important part of my daily life that I can't think of living without it, but at the same time I don't know how I can eat anymore without the hate.

I just want to lose weight!