panoptibollocks

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i love how tma introduces canon vampires and immediately glosses over them. yeah we have vampires here. who the fuck even cares. we’ve got bigger fish to fry jonathan

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i'm abt halfway through season 1 of tma (i think?) and i just wanted to say it's so fucking funny how jon puts his whole archivussy into voice-acting every story, then after 20 minutes of stellar in-character acting he just goes "well that was fucking stupid innit, seek psychiatric help lmfaoo" and ends the episode

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If anyone wanted some insight into how Jonny and Alex differ on writing style, here you go 😅

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nobody is talking about how freaky eric delano was. like that man said mary was hot in the same way a shark is hot and then actively acknowledged that she tasted like BLOOD and was like "yeah i want that one awooga hummina hummina hummina"

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okay I've been seeing these around and I wanted to do one for the TMA cast. here's a random wheel (link) featuring every character I can remember with a speaking role + a couple extras who don't speak but are still important to the plot or that I thought would be funny

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One of my hobbies is listening to the tma q&a with jonny and Alex and clipping out bits that I'm like, this is just martin and Jon bickering. The girls are fighting. This conversation could happen in season 5 and I would not bat an eye.

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i know that every statement in tma was canonically real just because it would be kinda shitty storytelling if it wasnt, but oh my GOD i wish we got to hear jon tearing an actually false statement to shreds. especially if it was a live statement. imagine youre some dumb frat kid and you go give a statement to the spooky research facility about Dick Butts or whatever and this tiny little man with a stare that could curdle milk who looks like he maybe died sometime last week just fucking yells at you for 90 minutes about proper story structure and pacing, and if you were going to waste his time you could’ve at least been original or creative and he wanders away still ranting like “i put the clown apocalypse on hold for THIS”

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I think it's really nice you thought you could create an unfuckable and untwinkifiable monster, and I always think people should dream big, but I think it might be time to put this one away.

I am endlessly fascinated by this version of me that exists in the head of some fans, of this naive yet stern-faced Writer(tm) desperately trying to make them take my work seriously; frantically trying to stop them being horny for my creations. Like, mate, cmon. Ive been doing this for a long time now, and I made my peace with the monsterfuckers years ago. Am I trying to make an unfuckable monster? No. Cause I'm not an idiot.

I just make my messed-up grotesqueries for my little horror stories and assume someone out there probably wants to fuck them and that's fine. Me trying to stop them would be just be a waste of everybody's time, so I just wish them godspeed and go add some more pus to Mr Bonzo's stitches.

It does make me laugh that none of you know what a twink is, though.

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dearest followers i regret to inform you that thinking with my cunt has once again led me perilously and irretrievably deep into a vast system of underground tunnels

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If you had the ability to sit down for a meal with any of your writerly inspirations, what would you eat with them, and what questions would you ask them?

I'd make HP Lovecraft eat a really hot curry. I wouldn't say anything, just watch him struggle. He'd have such a bad time.

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Wah Wah Mountains, Utah by YF Wu

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something about foreshadowing being more prominent the second time around reading a story but in a way that the meaning is changed forever and you can never view a story the same as you once did before. do you know what i mean.

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jonathan sims is a staunch atheist who also believes that when he dies he’s going to hell

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(grabbing your face) do you remember simon fairchild's statement about how he became an avatar. how he fell and the sky embraced him. i think about it all the time. how it would feel to be embraced by the vast. the entity that is about how you are insignificant before the endless void, holding you. the fact that being an avatar of the vast means loving a contradiction: you are insignificant and the entity of the vastness of everything else holds you in its embrace and takes away your mortality.

i wonder if when simon told that one guy enjoy sky blue if the reason he laughed while saying it was because he was sharing his own joy. if in his own way he wasn't being generous, sharing the experience that changed him forever. i wonder if as much as he spreads terror, maybe what he really wanted was to share that experience, and that's why he picked someone who loves sky-diving, someone who was also in love with the sky.

i wonder if that guy who was eaten by the sky isn't out there now, saying the sky held him gently in the huge jaws of endless blue, and he cried with joy as he understood. if what for his mother was a horrible experience that killed her son, for him wasn't the liberation from his mortal life and worries before the realization that we are nothing.

i wonder if simon was afraid, too, before he was in love or while he was in love with it, if he can even distinguish his love for the vast from his fear from it or it's just another facet of his adoration, something he can offer to it, if when he said he loved the sky he meant it like that, like we often love a god, with fear as strong as our adoration.

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We came from dirt, we have to swallow it