pancake-perry2

[pancake-perry2]

I have ideas I just don't have the energy to execute them as well as I want to

I'm on some new medication so for the past week or so I've been in a constant state of sleepiness. Focus? GONE. Energy? GONE. I miss being able to write about my beloved Ivan and Till. I just can't when I feel like this 😞

[pancake-perry2]

˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ Intro Page ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖

Welcome to my blog! This is where I post my thoughts, rants, and occasionally short analysis on whatever has captured my attention. I am not consistent whatsoever with how often I post.

Pronouns: She/Her

Age: Minor

Previous Fandoms: FNAF, Gacha Life/Gacha Club, The Owl House, South Park, Sally Face, Stranger Things, Poppy Playtime, Moral Orel, Dungeon Meshi(Netflix adaptation), Mob Psycho 100(Netflix adaptation), Dead Plate, and probably others that slipped my mind. All vary in how long I was fixated on them. I am not caught up with any new developments regarding most of these.

Current Fandoms: Alien Stage (favourite characters are Till and Ivan). Recently I have also been getting into The Summer Hikaru Died.

Due to the spontaneous self-destruction of my previous electronic device, I was not able to access my now old account @pancake-perry, hence why this has the same name...but with an additional 2!

[pancake-perry2]

Small rant about baby Till because I've been feeling strangely maternal lately and need to get it out of my system.

Every time I see images of Till as a baby I am stricken with both feelings of affection and absolute devastation.

Like, look at how little he is!!! Io hugging him and he just...looks so sweet and happy. He really felt how much he was loved. 🥲

He was so eager to show her what he had taught himself. Just a wide-eyed little baby full of love and wonder. ♥︎

AND THEN THEY TAKE THAT SWEET BABY AWAY FROM HIS MAMMA!!!? Uggghhgh 😭

Separating Till from Io was an unforgivable act. The aliens suck and need to disappear.

(English translation of this comic by WhataFruit on Twitter).

[pancake-perry2]

Today is my birthday! My sis got me the cutest kitty stuffed animal with a party hat and little birthday cake. The alnst blind box I ordered a while ago is also supposed to be coming tomorrow. I love life and I'm happy. :3

[pancake-perry2]

Why does he keep posing like this

Buddy, you are not in a fun slice of life anime/manga

You are an otherworldly entity possessing a corpse and the people around you are experiencing horrors beyond human comprehension

Anyways, I started getting into The Summer Hikaru Died after checking out the Netflix adaptation and WOW what an amazing creation

[pancake-perry2]

The bruises on Ivan's mouth are probably from when he was forced to practice his smile. And then he chooses to use that newfound skill to smile at Till. He really was trying his best poor thing 😭

[pancake-perry2]

The other day I decided to start putting together a Spotify playlist inspired specifically by baby Till. But then I was like, "well, I can't just exclude baby Ivan," so I'm also making one for baby Ivan. I'm having a lot of fun and recently finished organizing Till's. I just couldn't help myself after seeing the Alien Stage baby blind boxes.

[pancake-perry2]

This post is about the new ALNST Remember Everything comic. If you have not read it yet, feel free to skip! :)

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Till realizing that it was neither him nor Ivan's fault that things happened the way they did.

That they were all just kids trying to do their best with what little they were given.

They were all victims of a society that treated them horribly. A society that never cared to show them how to properly communicate and show love healthily.

They were all scared.

...

I absolutely adore this comic. It's very bittersweet.

I'm really glad they got someone to correctly translate it this time. It's so much easier to understand. ♥︎

[pancake-perry2]

So...if I'm understanding this correctly...the scars on Till's neck were self- inflicted?

Like he's trying to scratch off the feeling of Ivan's hands around his neck? Like he's trying to tear away the guilt that came with finally realizing Ivan's feelings for him?

I don't know maybe I should just crawl into a pit and never resurface

[pancake-perry2]

Ivan is loved!!!

People pointing out that Ivan is the only one without a flower crown, symbolizing that he was never loved back...

Respectfully, I disagree.

While he may not have been loved romantically by those he was close to, that does not mean he was not cherished. I think people sometimes forget that love does not have to be just romantic. It can come in the form of friendship as well.

Notice how Till does not look at all bothered by Ivan dropping a flower crown on his head. He looks a little confused, but he's happy.

I've already explained why I think Till considered (or at least tried to consider) Ivan a friend in another post I titled Till considers Ivan a friend. Ivan does not. So I'd rather not repeat all that again.

It's not just Till that loved Ivan though.

Ivan was one of the only guys Mizi felt truly comfortable around. She was never afraid that Ivan would mistakingly take her friendliness as something more. Mizi knew she didn't have to worry about that with Ivan.

(I'm basing this off of what I read from The True Face comic. I'm hoping I read into her feelings correctly.)

Ivan appears multiple times throughout The Witch's Decision when Mizi talks about her friends and family that had to die. She outright says that she views Ivan and Till as family. When Mizi is being comforted by other children, Ivan is one of them, along with Sua.

It's clear that Mizi misses Ivan and mourns his death.

Ivan is not unloved. There were definitely people in his life that cared for him. He just didn't realize it.

[pancake-perry2]

Trying to understand what's going on in the new comic but I can't focus because Till's so pretty and cool and silly and uuuuggghhh

I've never loved a fictional character so much I feel insane

[pancake-perry2]

"Till never looked at Ivan."

WRONG!!!

In fact, Till was the one who looked first!

It's all the way back in round 6. There is a flashback of what I assume is before either of them were adopted and put in ANAKT. Till is the first to look. Ivan then looked back. This is one of the few times where they both notice each other's gaze.

It's not that Till didn't look, it's that when he did, Ivan never seemed to catch it.

The meteor shower scene is a great example of this.

When Till stops to reconsider their escape, he has an obvious expression of guilt.

But by the time Ivan turns around...

Till is already running back. Ivan did not get a chance to see his hesitance. He did not turn around in time to see the guilt.

Whenever Ivan does happen to meet his gaze, it's only during moments of frustration.

It is conveniently never when Till is looking at him with fear, happiness, guilt, etc.

You know, any emotion that would indicate to Ivan that Till cared or worried about him.

Ah. Misunderstanding at it's finest.

Seriously though, Till has been seen looking at Ivan multiple times.

Till is looking directly at him in this image.

And of course, Ivan has his eyes closed.

[pancake-perry2]

I think it's so mean for them not to show us Tills's reaction here at the end of round 6.

Like please please let me see please I wanna know

[pancake-perry2]

Till had to have realized, right?

We know that Till saw Mizi as a beacon of light. He sees Mizi as a comforting presence during hurtful situations.

Do you think after round 6 he realized that it was not the warmth of Mizi's light that comforted him, but actually Ivan? Mizi was never actually there. But Ivan was.

Even before the events of round 6, he had to have felt it, right?

He even reacted to it at times. His facial expression changes to something more eased between the first and second Image here. Granted, Till was unconscious for the majority of these cases, but I still think it's important to note that he reacted at all.

Not only that, but Ivan has freed him from his collar multiple times.

It was obviously not Mizi who freed him all of those times. For one, I'm fairly certain Ivan is the only one who knows how to deactivate the collars.

Secondly, I don't think anyone else would be able to so easily navigate the place in order to find where Till was being held. Ivan is clearly smart enough to do all of that without being detected.

He knows the area well enough to nearly escape with Till during the meteor shower scene. One would logically connect the dots...right? That it was Ivan who was watching out for him? Did Till just never question how or why he would wake up without a secured collar?

His pupils dilate when Ivan cups his cheek. What if it's because he recognizes that touch. Maybe this is the moment where he realizes that it was Ivan who he had always felt the presence of.

Or perhaps it's for an entirely different reason. Who knows.

It was just a thought I had.

(Also, if color coding their names is too much to look at, please let me know. I thought it would look cool but I'm unsure if people find it overwhelming.)

[pancake-perry2]

I find this flashback in round 6 very fascinating...

Ivan notices Till is hurt.

So he goes over to check on him. As any good friend would do.

Till, as usual, is not happy about having his personal space invaded. So he swats Ivan away.

Ivan pulls his hand back. His expression is very fond.

And then. Till gives him a look. And just...let's it go. I don't know what this look means and it confuses me. Perhaps for once Till noticed that abnormally adoring look in Ivan's eyes?

And then freaky Ivan does this.

I may be reading too much into this short clip, but I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe I'm just delusional. I don't know.

[pancake-perry2]

Till considers Ivan a friend. Ivan does not.

(Don't expect anything too insightful. I just like writing about them.)

I do truly think that Till cares about Ivan in his own funny way. While many of their Interactions involve fighting and bickering, there are instances where Till is seen to tolerate Ivan. Moments where he does not push him away and simply let's him be.

- It's important to note that a lot of interactions are from the perspective of unreliable narrators. There could be countless other times where these two get along well and it simply was not shown.

Here is one. Till's collar is green and he does not appear to be bothered by Ivan's proximity. If anything he looks a little concerned. (Or maybe just confused, who knows.)

There are actually times where it suggests Till considers Ivan somewhat of a friend.

Till witnesses Sua gifting Mizi a flower crown. From what I can gather, giving a flower crown is a way to show friendship and fondness.

We later see a flashback in round 6 where it appears that Till had attempted to gift Ivan a flower crown. In response, Ivan destroys it, and a fight initiates. Ivan stomps on the flowers because he knows that they contain hidden cameras. But does Till know that? To Till, it was a very disrespectful rejection of friendship.

Ivan calls Till a loser here. Till's definition of a loser is a moron without any friends. When Ivan basically calls him a loser, Till becomes upset because that implies they are not friends. I think this is further supported by the fact that Till calls him a moron rather than a loser. Ivan has the moron part, but not the no friends part that would officially make him a loser. Because Till thinks he is his friend.

Now, why can Ivan not see that they are friends? I think his thought process stems from the negative view he has of himself.

I interpret the feeling he can't describe here as jealousy. He is jealous of Mizi and Sua because their love is wholly reciprocated.

I think Ivan feels bad for desiring that same connection with Till. He wants it, but he assumes it to be impossible. No one would ever think of him, who is so unlovable and shallow, as a friend, let alone reciprocate his love.

He does not expect anything because he believes he does not deserve it.

Ivan does not realize he and Till are friends because he figures it's impossible for Till to see him as one.

(These are just my thoughts and interpretations. Writing this was very fun.) :)

[pancake-perry2]

Ivan copies the thing that Till does with his fingers. I think that's...very cute. Seeing someone genuinely interested in what someone else enjoys and does makes me happy. I don't know.