pammzy1

[pammzy1]

Funny you say that. I’m currently working on an imagine with that concept. 😏

I’m writing again 🥰 anyone want a soft-ish yoongi au?

[pammzy1]

Better Out Than In

When life breaks your expectations, what should you do? What do you do?

Well I have an interesting tale you might be interested. It all began on August 30th, 2001.

“What?! Why would you do that? Are you INSANE!” I yelled at my younger brother, Patrick.

“Ok. Ok. Let me explain okay?” I panted as I felt the heat wave around me simmer down as he dragged in the tension. “I did a bet in school with a bunch of my friends.” I could feel uncomfortable pricking needles raining on my nerves and even worse my neck craves for a massage from a chiropractor after all this.

“We all get along and they’ve came here before, and one of my friends suggested that we write down our dares down and whoever all loses in a game of “Toes Down” will have to choose a dare from the pile.” I glared at him even more, and he bowed down with his eyes not looking into mine’s with the usual cheeky confidence he would.

And that’s how he should feel right now.

“So how does this relate to this situation?” I lived up my phone showing him the array of messages coming from an unknown guy who thinks that the girl in this image is real.

I mean she is real, however she’s remains in the past- a fit, skinny, healthy with a golden booty.

I’ve got a different meaning now that she’s gone.

“I lost okay,” and I held my breath to prevent myself from snickering, but Patrick was not having it. “Gee you don’t need to rub it in my face!”

I sucked in my gut reflexes and pressed on, “Then, why did you still do it?”

“Peer pressure,” he simply answered and now I’m sick with having to deal with this. A random person I don’t know contacting me about when and where to hang out, thinking he’s talking to the person in the image.

As if I needed more problems to burn in my personal hell-furnance called my brain.

“Look what’s been done has been done,” I pay down his back to reassure him before I request him a demand.

“Whew!” I hear Patrick exhale and gesture less stress, and I buried my brows in my skin to which he became complacent.

“The mess you’ve made, has to be cleaned up. And I’m saying that right now.”

“How though?” Patrick complained.

“The only way I could think,” I finish and Patrick pinches the flesh in between his inner eyes, “It’s gonna be bad, right?”

——————————————————————

Sitting in a corner of a cozy cat cafe called MewMo, a man wearing a a long white blouse, black pants and polished coal shoes, laid rest, waiting for a special someone to arrive.

Patrick and I see the guy that Patrick catfished. His username is @Ren2 and I observe him carefully.

He’s got brown hair, which masks his brows and when he brushes his hair back with his delicate fingers, I notice more of his features. He’s sparking rich brown eyes, straight docile nose and his incredible plump lips.

Knots form inside and tidal waves crash upon me. Patrick grips me tighter and looking back at him I knew that I had to do this.

It’s best if this man I see knows the truth.

I walk in with Patrick trailing behind as I try to nudge him forward.

I’m afraid to confront this man alone.

I walk over to his table and sat down on a chair across from him, while Patrick and the other guy looked at me awkwardly, as of waiting for me to come up with an explanation.

“Wait... are you..?” He muttered and clearly I watch his expression switch into a cold demeanor.

“Yeah. I am @Catty84,” I respond. I hear him “tsk”, trying to cool off internal steam bubbling inside and I can’t say anything.

Patrick stays behind me and at this point, I’m afraid to show him to this stranger.

“Why?” He says and I say “Huh?”

Then realizing, I immediately replied with, “Oh, um, the thing is that... It wasn’t done to be intentional. You see, I don’t have a profile on RedRose, so this is new to me.” I pulled Patrick in front of me and he bent his head down, “I’m really sorry. I was the one who did it.”

Before I knew it, the guy cackles before taking a moment of breath back in to speak, “Ahhh... this is the first time I’ve encountered such a situation. My friends would usually say their stories of encountering women, but never had they used a child as an excuse for their wrongdoing.”

“I’m truly sorry,” I grovel down, realizing how embarrassing this whole situation is.

“Honestly, the lengths that people go through just to be loved by someone they can’t reach,” he puffs out a long sigh, “But then again, I waited this long, expecting a nice girl to come along... but then again I’ve got to consider myself lucky that I’ve dodged a bullet.”

I could do nothing except to bob my head down and Patrick followed my move. We’re both ashamed of the situation in front of us and we wanted to do nothing but to escape and hide ourselves from ever meeting this man again.

“Alright then,” I say and turn myself away and take Patrick with me to head on out.

But before I could go anywhere, I felt my wrist being grabbed.

I looked back and see that it’s @Ren2. “On second thought, maybe you can pay for my meal and help me with some errands to compensate for catfishing me.”

I looked back at Patrick and I could see his wide evil grin. Now that’s a face I don’t want to encounter when I go to sleep.

“Ok fine then Ren2.”

“My name’s actually Jero Kushka,” he confidently displays his hand out.

“Mine’s Sophia Andamiro,” and I shake his hand despite feeling uncomfortable about what he wants as compensation.

——————————————————————

This can be continued if this story at least reaches 25 notes. If this story could reach 25 notes, I’ll make this a series ok. Great.

[pammzy1]

Good Days Yet To Come

We make promises to get there

To reach here:

From time to time

Tick Tock Tick Tock

24/7: 8 to 3, 5 to 9, or 10 to 6

Time chimes

And I’m fine

Is all I could say

Well all I wanted is a good day

To you and I

So let’s not forget what’s most important, right?

Why did we join hands?

Why are we together?

Despite not having what we want,

Will we leave each other

For a second dream?

A dream where I can be loved,

Not overwhelmed by these shifts

Drifts, rips, breakage-

Our first dream let’s not forget:

You and I only, nothing else in our way,

For our good days yet to be made.

[pammzy1]

Belonging With One of No One

No one belongs to anyone

Yet sometimes we try so hard to belong somewhere

Like we need to be property

Of somebody

To own our lives

It may be slavery

A slave to loving

Someone

Just anybody

For a long period of time

Breaking walls and walls

To get through to them

To no avail, no one bothered to knock

Or ask how I am

So how could I bother

To share a piece of me with anyone

Of them, equally treating me

Like a nobody?

[pammzy1]

Beginning Bloomed & Wnding Gloomed

Once upon a time,

I lived alone

And my life was just averagely plain

Until I met you

You blossomed like a flower

And I did not know that you will not

Last forever

Our Spring was evergreen

Our Summer we spent swimming

Our Fall is when it started

You slowly gone

Withering away

I began to pray, everyday

For you to get well soon

Then Winter came

And life ended your beauty

And I still believe the world is beautiful

Because of the past I had spent with you

Feels like forever, yellow and blue.

[pammzy1]

A ShipWrecker

It’s another tale

Where the best friend

Falls for their best friend’s boyfriend

I wonder what should I tell that person?

I’m sorry, but I love this person too?

Or should I ignore these feelings to

Appease them?

I have this choice,

But which one should I choose?

I know that there are plenty of fish in the sea

But for me

There’s only one of you

So should I sail your ship

Or wreck it?

Beats me, I see

My feelings

Need to be freed

Honestly

For my own selfish need.

[pammzy1]

Dis Euphoria

Did Euphoria

Love maybe

Utopia

In the mind

Meant to be

Kept as pure fantasy

Delusional Dreams

Wicked Themes

Love is everything

Maybe All That We Ever Need

In Reality

It’s farther from the truth

Given any proofs

Of what we need

Doesn’t come from our desires,

But what keeps our sanity

From tearing apart,

The inner calm,

Dis Euphoria Remaind Appeased

Love, maybe?

[pammzy1]

In Your Dreams

In your dreams

I wonder what can be seen?

Paradise or Pandemonium?

The hero’s courage or the beast overtaking?

The sleepy wormhole or getting pitched emptiness?

The dark of the hollow knight or the break of dawn?

Or possible you soaring or falling in love...

With someone

That can’t give

Into your fantasy

Or they never knew

Your true feelings

Left unexpressed

To root and rot inside

So in your dreams

I wonder what can be truly seen?

[pammzy1]

Love Me Not

Ripping petal by petal

He loves me, He loves me not

Don’t I try hard?

Why bother with a knot

That can’t be unbounded?

It’s not like I love him

He loves me, He loves me not

He loves me

The last petal falls

Time for a new flower

To say

He loves me not

But that flower also

Said it’s dying words

He loves me

Again

Maybe another one

He loves me

Last petal, last try

He loves me

Again.

[pammzy1]

Hate Me, Love Me; Love Me, Hate Me

Hate Me, Love Me

Love Me, Hate Me

Which way do you think?

Because it runs parallel in my world

Hate and love are close together

Running along the same track

But with different attitudes

One is driven by madness

The other is literally driven by being mad

Who knows which is which?

Isn’t that why there’s a saying:

“All is fair in love and war”

Then love and hate are one

The same energy it takes

You love me, You hate me

You hate me, You love me

I became your parallel

We can be close,

But we’re never meant to be.

[pammzy1]

Addicted

Nicotine, Crack

Adderall, Opium

Alcohol, Ecstasy

What’s happening

Then, Love, I meet

But there are somethings I can’t keep

Track of such as

Which one of these is important to me?

Self-satisfaction, happiness or you?

I haven’t found the right balance

Or figured out the calculation

Only been trying out weird cocktails

That trail on, my body says no

But my mind agrees to give itself up

I’m sorry, I relapsed, I may need help

Again... Into a pit I fall, no pitch can be heard

Lights out and gone dark

[pammzy1]

Oil & Flames

Like a dying ember

Hidden behind a bed of rocks

Your fire barely breathes out

And I, like the oil,

Was used to spark your

Flames inside

So that’s why

I tingle, cracked, popped, moaned

And smoked a few of the

Pieces of wood lying there

Where I coated them, not missing a single spot

Which may not cause something until

It met with its match

Or foe

For some odd reason you’re

Both

A friend and a foe

I regret so much

We touched, kissed,

But the spark missed

And you and I were left unfulfilled

How our oil and flames ended

[pammzy1]

To Love All One

I’ve been on a journey. A lonesome one. Not involving anyone, except my spirits to keep me high. I’ve kept in peace with my inner self and minded the outer space that hugs around my existence. Because that’s all I see and all I could perceive. To ponder other thoughts, that’s curiosity. Curiosity in a way, where the search always leads to more questions and more things to manifest.

It can be toxic in a way when that is made into one’s purpose. However, that is if things do go too far. Far enough, where nothing else seems to matter; nothing else seems to be minded, even with the high spirits to cherish only one thing in life. That will not make one’s life even more meaningful.

It is what’s there: the everything, the naming, the vastness, the truth about minding the space and people, life becomes more than special. It’s a miracle. Life that breathes, and death that exhales in return. A balance between life and death creates mortality to be the greatest lesson for humanity.

That everything does not stay the same for too long and everything in life created will erode in its beautiful passage.

What we will only take away is nothing. Nothing else on Earth could prepare for death, but that deceased sleep is not too bad. However, it shouldn’t be the only thing we should hope out of our lives. We cannot wait on death to take us away because our thought of life is only vanity. Again, not the best way of living life through seeing one thing. We have to try living to our best selves to enrich our souls, our health, and the health of the Earth - living to the fullest means minding ourselves to the fullest.

By minding ourselves, not our greed, we will take into accountability of how serene, the surroundings revolve. Life will slow, like time is slowing down for you to accept, but I guess it’s all up to perspective. Time is based on perspective - so to morph it into something to change - will be possible, but much more difficult to bring it back.

However, throughout my lonely travels, I have encountered unexplained phenomena that no one has any explanation to answer. Whether time can change, foreign visitors appear out of nowhere, or when something happens that no vocabulary in the dictionary can describe the event that took place. Least to say something happened traumatic maybe, but do I still live, yes.