p0rks0d4

[p0rks0d4]

AU where everything is the same but it’s all just vine references

.

[p0rks0d4]

everything is the same but it's minecraft and the operator is fucking with the time/teleport commands

.

[p0rks0d4]

AU where Jay was actually Batman

.

[p0rks0d4]

au where the meds are just tictacs and hoodie just really doesn't want his breath to smell

.

[p0rks0d4]

I have this curse where I either like the most loved ship in a fandom or the most underrated THERES NO IN-BETWEENEN

[p0rks0d4]

SAY IT EVEN LOUDER FOR THOSE PEOPLE IN THE BACK BACK 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Say it louder for the people in the back

[p0rks0d4]

TIMMEH >:( (this scene but jimmy is jay and it’s a remake of the tim punching jay moment)

AU where everything’s the same but Tim is played by Timmy from South Park

.

[p0rks0d4]

dude is this stan marsh irl or am i tripping balls

Okay so usually when I do the dishes there's only like a little bit to do BUT THIS TIME THERES KIKE A SHIT TON OF DISHES TO DO.

So my game plan here is to grab a gun put it against my head-

[p0rks0d4]

[Dring - lift door shuts]

[Reeve] Where's the buttons?

[Skeete] Oh no, they've installed voice-recognition technology in this lift, they have no buttons.

[Reeve] Voice-recognition technology? In a lift? In Scotland? You ever tried voice-recognition technology?

[Skeete] No.

[Reeve] They don't do Scottish accents.

[Skeete] Eleven.

[Kai, over the intercom] Could you please repeat that?

[Reeve] Eleven.

[Skeete] Eleven. Eleven.

[Reeve] Eleven.

[Kai, just wanting to troll] Could you please repeat that?

[Skeete] EL-EV-EN.

[Reeve] Whose idea was this? You need to try an American accent. "E-leven. E-leven."

[Skeete] That sounds Irish, not American.

[Reeve] No it doesn't! ELEVEN.

[Skeete] Where in America is that - Dublin?

[Kai] I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?

[Skeete] Try an English accent. "Eelevin! Eelevin!"

[Reeve] You from the same part of England as Dick van Dyke?

[Skeete] Let's hear yours then, smartass.

[Kai] Please speak slowly and clearly.

[Skeete] SMARTASS.

[Reeve] Ee-lev-en.

[Kai] I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?

[Reeve] ELEVEN. If you don't understand the lingo, away back home to your own country!

[Skeete] Ooo, it's that talk now, is it, away back home to your own country?

[Reeve] Oh, don't start Mr. Bleeding Heart, how can you be racist to a lift?

[Kai] Please speak slowly and clearly.

[Skeete] Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.

[Reeve] You're just saying it the same way!

[Skeete] I'm going to keep saying it until it understands Scottish, alright?

[Skeete] Eleven. Eleven. Eleven! Eleven!

[Reeve] Oh just take us anywhere, ya cow! Just open the doors!

[Kai] This is a voice-activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.

[Reeve] Calm? Calm? Where's that coming from? Why is it telling people to be calm?

[Skeete] Because they knew they'd be selling this to Scottish people who'd be going off their nuts at it!

[Kai, still at it] You have not selected a floor.

[Skeete] Aye, we have! Eleven!

[Kai] If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say "Open the doors, please".

[Reeve] Please? Please?? Suck my wully.

[Skeete] Maybe we should just say "please".

[Reeve] I'm not begging that for nothing.

[Skeete] Open the doors, please.

[Reeve} "Please!" Pathetic.

[Kai, trying not to laugh] Please remain calm.

[Skeete climbs up onto Reeve’s back.]

[Skeete] Oh! My! God! You wait until I get up there...just wait for it to speak...

[Kai] You have not selected a floor.

[Skeete] Up yours, ya cow! If you don't let us through these doors, I'm gonna come to America,

I'm gonna find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and I'm gonna go to the electric chair for ye!

[Reeve] Scotland, you bastard!

[Skeete] Scotland!

[Reeve] SCOTLAND!

[Skeete] SCOOOOOTLAND!

[Reeve] FREEDOM!!

[Skeete] FREEDOM!!

[Lift doors open up and Mira, Adam, and Vanessa are on the outside, staring at the two as Skeete struggles off of Reeve’s back.]

[Reeve] Goin' up?

[p0rks0d4]

Kai: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason. Kai: Me too! --- Mira: I like your top, Reeve! Adam: I have a name, you know. Reeve: *sighs* Why? Why are you like this? --- Kai, trying to flirt with Vanessa: Oh, your family sucks? Haha, same . --- Reeve: I put the pun in punishment. Vanessa: I put the cute in execute. Skeet: I put the sexy in dyslexia. --- Mira, at Skeet: You're my significant other. Skeet: Yeah I am! Mira, at Kai: You're my child. Kai: Yes boss. Mira, at Vanessa: You're my bitch Vanessa: Yeah I am- wait, what? Mira, at Adam: My bestie. Adam: Naturally. Mira, to Reeve: HA, GAY! Reeve: Fuck you. --- Adam: So, Mira is late today. Anyone wanna bet why? Kai: I don't know... I think either her alarm clock didn't go off, or she's in line at the bank. Skeet: Take this more seriously! Mira was clearly taken in her sleep! Reeve: I bet she tucked herself into the bed too tightly and got stuck. Vanessa: Maybe she fell into another dimension where she's more interesting...? *Mira comes in* Mira: Sorry I'm late - there was a problem at the bank. Kai, clapping his hands in excitement: HOT DAMN!

[p0rks0d4]

nisha tyler and iris fighting an epic boss battle while reeve and adam form a joint suicide pact. you can't make this show up

[p0rks0d4]

[p0rks0d4]

These two stand like they know they're cool af

... and they are

[p0rks0d4]

do u guys think the hollow kids use kai as a portable stove

[p0rks0d4]

i think im going insane maybe idk

[p0rks0d4]

Reeve: MOTHERFCKER! You! Kai:... Reeve: Have you ever heard of a mountain chicken? Kai: Please don't hurt me. Reeve: Have you ever heard of a mountain chicken? Kai: No. Reeve: What do you think it looks like? Kai: Like a really big chicken? Reeve: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT BUT IT'S THIS MOTHERFU-

[p0rks0d4]

As an outsider of the hollow fandom, i wanted to ask, are there a lot of "its not adam and eve its adam and reeve" jokes?

yes. incredible amounts (at least comparatively considering its size) in the reedam circles, and i do think that even if they have not made the joke themselves basically every member of the fandom has had it pass through their minds. it's funny every time. all 5 of us here find it hilarious.