p-renny - Tumblr blog

[p-renny]

He hated that part of himself he had allowed to escape. The insecure monster he tried so hard to hide - a kraken swimming in the cold, murky depths of his mind. The tentacles of doubt had him in a deathgrip. It wasn’t him - he didn't do things like this. He was sweet, kind, loyal. Or so he thought.

A Lewie POV oneshot giving you a different version to the events of Casa Amor along with a LOT of angst

3,799 words - rated M

On AO3

I’m now in my fanfic writing era 💅

cover photo by the lovely @rebelrayne

[p-renny]

You’re just great.

Thank you! I aim to please!

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Some of my best work yet, not gonna see someone’s dad do that good!

what my husband thinks of the casa amor boys (plus toby as a bonus)

Under the cut

Andy

His earring looks like a little fucking handsaw. He has a handsaw on his ear. Who told him to stand like that? His 12 year old sister? Looks like one of those awkward guys that says “what do I do with my hands?” The way he holds his feet, he probably has a foot fetish. You could almost miss his nipples cause they’re not a natural color. He’s got a weird bump on his foot. And his left foot is way fatter than his right foot. What the fuck? He has a size 13 one foot and 9 on the other. What the fuck it looks like he’s wearing a ring on his left hand??? He’s a bottom. A sub bottom. Like a very submissive bottom. He looks like he has daddy issues. If you stan Andy, I will laugh at you and not take you seriously. Anything you say is not canon. Between him and Francis, they should be the most hated. I almost hate him as much as I hate Lewie. Probably has tea parties with stuffed animals. They call him “sir short stick”.

Francis

He looks like the fucking guy from ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’ like the one that Sarah Marshall goes to Hawaii with. Does he go to the hair stylist 3 times a week to get his color right? No, that’s not a real beard he drew it on. Did he steal his grandma’s coat and sandals??? AND BRACELET??? Oh my God, JESS! He’s got a small hand like the guy from scary movie- “grab my strong hand!!” Looks like he’s into paranormal shit like he’s a ghost chaser. The AI did a fucking terrible job, it tried to mix scary movie small hand guy, a grandma and Russell Brand. I can’t tell if he had a belly button. Is he an alien??? This guy creeps me out. And his posture- just the way he holds himself. He’s creepy. He’s a version of Joe Goldberg that stole his grandmas sweater that’s his undercover outfit. The sweater is literally his baseball cap. Is that enough? Or should I keep going about his grandmas sandals she got during 1 AD? Those sandals saw Jesus they were there on resurrection day. Practices celibacy as a religion. If he was born in Spartan times, they would throw him to the wolves or over a cliff. I kind of wanna spartan kick him myself. See a special meme made by Jessie’s husband below:

Hamish

That’s fucking Tom 2.0 mixed with Zac Efron. He looks like he came out of fucking Baywatch. Been staring at Pamela Anderson’s tits. Got a knock-off Rolex. Not much to make fun of- this guy seems mostly normal. He doesn’t have any qualities I can laugh at. Even his posture and how he holds his hands is manly. Looks like he’s ready to punch Lewie in his asshole lips. I brought up he has small feet and he defended him. He has an average size dick, probably like 5.5 inches. He’s the guy everyone should want to get (unless he is a closet asshole). But even then, there’s a binary code of how much of an asshole he can be. He looks like he has a Christian Grey mentality. Probably has a red room and it’s hidden. Fuck now there will be fanfics of him doing BDSM… his nickname would be “Lord Ladies Man”. JESSIE’S HUSBAND STAMP OF APPROVAL - first and only one this season.

Marshall

Starts laughing that he has a butterfly on his chest. Why did he get a tramp stamp on his chest?? These tattoos are almost as bad as Will’s. Captain Jack Sparrow if he was a hipster. Most definitely swings both ways. I want to cut off his manbun when he’s sleeping… like half these tattoos don’t make any sense. He probably has shorty tattooed on his dick and it probably still says shorty when it’s erect. At least his chin isn’t square like Ozzy’s. This guy is weird looking and his tattoos give me the heebie jeebies. He’s a fucking dumpster rat. He’d be the king’s jester and wear clown makeup. Tries to juggle three balls- can’t find them. He looks like he enjoys his venti Starbucks drinks: “Can you froth the milk please sir?” Looks homeless, searches the road for pennys or whatever British cheap change is. Probably has OnlyFans for his feet.

BONUS: Toby

He literally looks like the kind of guy that is used as the main character in the game— he looks like a default setting lol he’s a random fucking palette. Looks like Vin Diesel’s baby brother I’m going to call him baby diesel. Why are his arms so short? At least he didn’t skip leg day. If you chopped off his head, he’d look like the perfect speciman of a man. Head looks like it should be on a crackheads. It’s small. Looks like he should be on prison break. Surprised he has no tattoos - looks like he’s been to prison a few times. Kind of sad he’s the last one… I wish Francis was the last one instead. Toby’s skin tone is off… his color is different from his head to feet. The AI said “lol not my fucking problem.” It said “make perfect man body with generic ass head.” Bro is gonna be NPC for life. (“You sound like Elliot” “shut the fuck up”). He’s so bland they gave him white swim shorts.

A/N to my fans: I love you degenerates. I work very hard at this to entertain and give you guys a full insight to what these characters really are. I appreciate your constant gratitude and thank you for allowing me to be your roast king. All other attempts are failures and they can come find me if they have something to say. I hope you all read this and then go back to read it again because it makes you happy. That is all.

PS: the AI really helped with these roasts this season because the character designs sucked. They made it very easy for me. I’d also really like to thank my top supporter, @caitkaminski . She’s been a fan for a long time (Apparently I am not a supporter). Here’s to next season. I will miss doing these til then. In the wise words of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, aka Maui: “You’re welcome.”

[p-renny]

Probably should leave the roasting to the professionals aka Jessie’s husband. Kudos for trying though Dad!

my dads first impressions of Elliot 💀 it’s Elliot slander Fridays ✨This is just his opinion 🫶🏼

my dad: *laughs out loud*

Fb: comes in a “hunk of a man “

the hunk:

Pencil dick “hunk of a man” my arse he’s a gamer doesn’t look like he works out. Tried to get with a hot girl in his school but got rejected 

Doesn’t know what no means or yes 👍🏼 or takes a hint that mc doesn’t like him in a romantic way 

I can’t tell if he’s a streamer gamer or a farmer he probably milks cows for a living.

He looks like an idiot who wants to have a girlfriend. Also thinks that he's cool and popular. I'm sure he would have a Youtube channel with Fortnite gameplay and idk like 3 subscribers.💀

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Yup I hate Lewie, 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

he's back......

what my husband thinks of the season six male islanders with little to no information

aka he based it on their profile in the game. under the cut because it's long.

jamal

black tony hawk. he looks like he's cooking up some drama. obviously hasn't learned to button up his shirt. i don't see how he would have had a threesome cause he doesn't even look like he could have a twosome. small bulge. he has glossy lips. i'm done with him, he's kind of boring.

lewie

his combover looks stupid. did he paint on his five o'clock shadow? semi-pro? what's that mean? he's a fucking weekend warrior? "golden retriever energy" aka he has bad hips. his body just looks gross. it's all elongated and shit... his ears don't match his fucking face. he's got chicken ass legs to be playing football (soccer). he probably cries when he has sex. who the fuck names their kid lewie? he's the kmart version of gary. he looks like he's poor. probably gets drunk off two white claws. his mouth fucking irritates me. it's like he has an asshole for a mouth. show me his picture again - ugh just look at how fucking ugly he is. his personality probably matches his looks.

also was told to attach this meme curtesy of my husband's mind:

ozzy

what the fuck does he tell his barber? like 'keep it long in the front but cut everything else i want no hair on any other parts of my body'. at least he's proportional (unlike lewie). seems like the kind of guy that would invite a girl over to hang out then breaks out a fucking bong. and then gets stoned off his ass. i've never seen that color nipple before. his jaw is the shape of a rhombus. his puppy dog eyes don't work on me. what kind of dancer is he (🤨)? because if he's an erotic dancer, he only works day shift because he's not good enough for night shift.

roberto

he actually looks kind of cool. i don't like the way he holds himself though. he looks like he could be a pirate - he looks like johnny depp. does he have to take his watch everywhere? like that citizen watch doesn't mean you have money, bro.

ryan

he looks like frodo baggins. "we have to save the shire!" probably has some hairy ass feet. he's literally trapped in the body of a 12-year-old and looks like he's 4'10". he's a singer? what's he sing? hobbit songs? where did he buy his shorts? the fucking youth section? (tries to zoom in, gets annoyed he can't). is definitely the one that is going to try to talk mc and amelia into having a threesome - then makes them compete for who's better.

[p-renny]

I Choose You

Written for @rebelrayne

Written by @SDP4Lyfe

The darkness was so comforting, Youcef thought as he was in his dreamlike slumber. But why was there this annoying ringing trying to disturb this moment. As He turned over to reach for his phone to shut off his phone It all clicked in his head. Today was the day he was to start his Pokemon adventure. In the Region of Kalos it is customary for when a person turns 22 they get to choose their first pokemon and set off on a quest to conquer the eight gym challenges. The problem was Youcef had accidentally snoozed his alarm several times before finally waking up. “Professor Longhole is going to kill me,” Youcef exclaimed aloud. So he quickly dressed, grabbed a cold brew coffee from the fridge, and a fresh baguette he baked the night before and set off for Professor Longhole’s lab.

Luckily for Youcef the lab was a short walk from his home. The ten minute walk seemed to take ages knowing he was already going to be late. He didn’t even get a chance to style his hair like he normally did. As Youcef approached the lab he saw a silhouette of a person he had hoped he wasn’t going to see. “Look what the sprigatito drug in!” joked Bruno. Bruno and Youcef have always had a glaring rivalry since they were school aged boys. “Better late than never,” Youcef replied. “So Bruno, who did you choose?” Youcef asked. With his smug look Bruno said “wouldn’t you like to know? You ought to get in the lab because there are likely none left for you, seeing as you are thirty minutes late.” In that moment Youcef bolted for the door.

As Youcef walked in the door He could hear professor Longhole yell “Youcef! Why are you so late? You do realize how important today is right?” Youcef while embarrassed replied, “Yes Professor, it was my mistake but I am her now. Are there any partners left for me to choose.” Professor Longhole while twirling a finger in her hair responds “Choose? Well no there will be no choosing for you Mr. Youcef.” Youcef’s eyes began to well up into tears. He had been looking forward to his journey for his whole life, now he was filled with disappointment knowing it was over. “But,” Professor Longhole interjected “ There is one partner that no one else chose left and that will be your new partner. Though this pokemon exhibits a selfish nature from never being chosen in the many trainers set out before you.” As she finished speaking, the Pokemon from which she spoke of poked its head out from under the desk. It was green, had the semblance of a snake and seemed very shy. At that moment Youcef remembered it was a snivy. It would not have been his first choice as he wanted something like a charmander or squirtle. Youcef knew that he had no other choice if he were to set out on his journey. So he sucked up his pride and yelled out “Snivy I choose you!”

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Crazy to think Paramore made the song Misery Business about Lexi Longhole

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Breaking news, Youcef has hair implants due to premature balding

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In more verified news today, it has come to our knowledge that James still needs a nightlight and teddy bear to sleep

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Breaking news, Gary Rennell has a small pp. It’s been verified in canon!

[p-renny]

Hi! Let me guess, you read a fanfic on ao3 and didn’t like how it wasn’t exactly what you wanted and now you’re overcome with a strong desire to leave a negative comment? Well, I made this tutorial just for you! (I’m using iphone for this, but the premise is the same even if you’re accessing through your computer:)

Step 1. Open the fic (using my own as an example) - just click on the title

Step 2. You want to click on the “Comment” button, scroll all the way down, and start typing.

Step 3. Okay, now before we proceed, here’s what you want to do: (repeat a few times)

Step 4. Next, you wanna find this little button on your keyboard and start clicking it until the box is clear again (the equivalent of backspace on your computer)

Step 5. Press this button to exit the fic! Congratulations! You successfully managed your disappointment!!! Have a cookie;)

[p-renny]

It's that time again! Because this time, we have to include Season 5!

Please vote for up to 15 of your favorite Islanders here!

Please vote for up to 15 of your least favorite Islanders here!

Just the same as last time, I will list it four ways for you and I will combine like and dislike votes for overall placement. If you'd like to see the previous results, you can find those here!

Thank you for voting. Your vote matters! This poll will end on Friday, December 16 at 8AM EST so please vote as soon as you can!