oxfordlibraryrodent

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fuck literary gatekeeping, read whatever you want.

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William Shakespeare, from ‘Macbeth’

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I thinks it's very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.

Oscar Wilde

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candle-lit rooms, oolong tea, persian poetry, films set in world war II, jasmines, pomegranates, paris, light rainfalls, coco mademoiselle, rose water, bordeaux lips, cold mornings, pain au chocolat, glowing skin, unfinished paintings, phonographs.

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how about instead of asking me out, you tell me i've bewitched you body and soul?

[oxfordlibraryrodent]

a few readings on Bram Stoker + homosexuality:

Talia Schaffer, “‘A Wilde Desire Took Me’: The Homoerotic History of Dracula”

Maria Popova, “Bram Stoker’s Extraordinary Love Letter to Walt Whitman”

Kaya Genç, “Coming Out of the Coffin”

David Skal, Something in the Blood: The Untold Story of Bram Stoker, the Man Who Wrote Dracula

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“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”

Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

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How would you describe yourself in a sentence?

Me:

[oxfordlibraryrodent]

October beginnings. Nothing nicer than have a coffee and a good book to read in a cafe before work.

Currently reading: The Broken Shore by Peter Temple

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Nobody ever talk to me about the catholics going off with stained glass again because not one window of jesus has ANYTHING on the Nasir al-Mulk Mosque

Click through this link i’m losing my mind its gorgeous

[oxfordlibraryrodent]

Send me a color

red: how was your first kiss? what do you love about yourself? when’s the last time you warmed your hands in front of a fire? would you rather watch a sunrise or sunset? what’s the best thing about summer?

orange: what makes you feel warm inside? what’s your favorite halloween tradition? what’s the last thing you learned? when’s the last time you felt obsessed? what’s your favorite article of clothing?

yellow: if you could have any view from your bedroom window what would you choose? what’s your favorite thing to do on a sunny day? what do you consider lucky? what made you smile today? what makes you happy?

green: what’s your favorite thing to do outside? do you like camping? what would you spend $1,000 on? what’s your job, or what do you want to do as your job? what’s your favorite article of clothing?

blue: what do you do when you’re sad? what are some things you do when you can’t sleep? what was the best (non-romantic) night you’ve had? what kind of covers do you have on your bed? who is the last person you told a secret to?

purple: what’s your astrological sign? what’s the best piece of advice you ever received? when’s the last time you followed your instincts? what’s your favorite food? what’s your secret dream?

[oxfordlibraryrodent]

Um, so I've been coming to terms with a lot of toxicity surrounding my past, namely my childhood and how I numbed myself for the pain of it all, and I wrote this and wanted to share. I assume no one will see this so it seems as safe a place as any to house.

The Ringing in my Ears

The ringing in my ears has gotten worse,

Is that a sign of returning or leaving?

I cling to notions of far off places and realities I do not partake in to rid myself of this vessel and this sensory experience.

Do not touch me, I will not feel.

Do not speak to me, I will not hear.

Do not see me, I will not perceive.

How can I expect anything less in return?

I will not perceive, so I will not see.

I will not hear, so I will not listen.

I will not feel, so I will not touch.

The routine is elegant and predictable.

In a life of so many unexpected outcomes, is it so wrong to cling to what I know, to what I have become accustomed to?

A boy kissed me, and I thought I felt him, in a way I had not dared experience before.

But what I experienced then was a shadow of a feeling.

A faint apparition dancing along the blank cave of my empty sensory self.

I have made my body unreachable, illegal to even myself to perceive.

You know me? No you do not.

How can you know me better than myself, who still knows nothing about the room I house.

I retreat to small corners to collapse into a space with tighter forms and restrictions, limitations and exceptions, smaller than current existence, where consciousness cannot fit, to escape.

To escape, to find recompense from the maddening tumult of this meticulously constructed cage of a person.

I am not who you think I am, because the shadow I have projected onto the wall of your mind is the best interpretation I could gather of my own shadow.

My true self is evasive.

The ringing has stopped.

Am I returning, or am I once again retreating?

[oxfordlibraryrodent]

no longer curled within the arms of moonlight shall I delight in reciting you poems, for there is no greater sonnet then the shape of your lips and the grace of your touch // ig: rosenaufsuden

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Library Appreciation : Clementinum, Prague (National Library of the Czech Republic)

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[oxfordlibraryrodent]

aquiline noses in art

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