orxna

[orxna]

Emilie Autumn's Opheliac Sentence Prompts

A series of prompts taken from Emilie Autumn's 2006 album Opheliac, possible nsft content, trigger warnings for suicide, self-harm, and sexual assault. Change bits and bobs as needed.

01 Opheliac

❝I'm your Opheliac.❞ ❝I've been so disillusioned.❞ ❝I know you'd take me back but still I feign confusion.❞ ❝I couldn't be your friend, my world was too unstable.❞ ❝You might have seen the end but you were never able to keep me breathing.❞ ❝You know the games I play and the words I say when I want my own way.❞ ❝You know the lies I tell when you've gone through hell and I say I can't stay.❞ ❝You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me when everything and everyone becomes my enemy.❞ ❝There's nothing more you can do, I'm gonna blame it on you.❞ ❝It's not the way I want to be I only hope that in the end, you will see it's the Opheliac in me.❞ ❝I'm open to attack but I don't want to hurt you.❞ ❝Whether I swim or sink, that's no concern of yours now.❞ ❝How could you possibly think you had the power to know how to keep me breathing?❞ ❝You know the games I play.❞ ❝You know the lies I tell.❞ ❝You know how hard it can be to keep believing in me.❞ ❝It's not the way I want to be.❞ ❝I only hope that in the end, you will see.❞ ❝Studies show that Intelligent girls are more depressed because they know what the world is really like.❞ ❝Don't think for a beat it makes it better when you sit her down and tell her everything is going to be all right.❞ ❝She knows in society she either is a devil or an angel with no inbetween.❞ ❝Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt thou the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar but never doubt I love.❞

02 Swallow

❝I'll come back to haunt you if I drown.❞ ❝I'll tell the truth: all of my songs are pretty much the fucking same.❞ ❝I'm not a faerie but I need more than this life so I became this creature.❞ ❝If I had a chance to change my mind I wouldn't for the world.❞ ❝I'll take a deep, deep breath but I'll come back to haunt you if I drown.❞ ❝I don't want to be a legend. Well, that's a god-damn lie, I do.❞ ❝To say I do this for the people I admit is hardly true.❞ ❝You tell me everything's all right as though it's something you've been through.❞ ❝You think this torment is romantic? Well, it's not, except to you.❞ ❝Can I trust you?❞ ❝If I'm not there on time, I'll send my emissary.❞ ❝But would that do any good?❞ ❝Will it hurt? No, it won't.❞ ❝Then what am I so afraid of?❞ ❝They made me what I'm made of the brighter the light, the darker the shadow.❞ ❝I don't need a minder, I've made up my mind. Go away.❞

03 Liar

❝I want to hold you to the sun.❞ ❝I want to be your faithful one.❞ ❝I want to show you all the beauty you don't even know you hold.❞ ❝I'm hurting you for your own good.❞ ❝I'd die for you, you know I would.❞ ❝I'd give up all my wealth to buy you back the soul you never sold.❞ ❝I want to mix our blood and put it in the ground so you can never leave.❞ ❝I want to win your trust, your faith, your heart. You'll never be deceived.❞ ❝I want you to heal you, pretty sweet.❞ ❝I'll throw rose petals at your feet.❞ ❝I'll spend eternity comparing all my poetry to yours.❞ ❝I want to see love through your eyes.❞ ❝I'd give up all my fame to fight your demons and your bloody wars.❞ ❝You'll never be deceived.❞ ❝Liar, liar, liar, liar!❞ ❝Liar!❞ ❝Are you suffering?❞ ❝I want your suffering.❞ ❝I want your beautiful suffering. I want to see your pain.❞ ❝I want to see your pain! I want it! I want it!❞

04 The Art of Suicide

❝Why live a life that's painted with pity and sadness and strife?❞ ❝Why dream a dream that's tainted with trouble and less than it seems?❞ ❝Why bother bothering just for a poem or another sad song to sing?❞ ❝Why live a life?❞ ❝The people are disturbed, well they should be disturbed because there's a story that ought to be heard.❞ ❝There's a lesson that really ought to be learned.❞ ❝The world is full of poets. We don't need any more.❞ ❝The world is full of singers. We don't need any more.❞ ❝The world is full of lovers. We don't need any more.❞

05 I Want My Innocence Back

❝I want my innocence back and if you can't give it to me I will cut you down.❞ ❝I will run you through with the dagger you sharpened on my body and soul before you slit me in two and then devoured me whole.❞ ❝I want my innocence back.❞ ❝If you can't pacify me, I will break your bones.❞ ❝You think I'm bluffing? Just try me.❞ ❝I will never forget the words you used to ensnare me.❞ ❝Til my dying day you'll suffer for this, I swear.❞ ❝I demand you put my heart back in my hand and wipe it clean from the mess you made of me.❞ ❝And when you leave, I'd better be the innocent I used to be.❞

06 Misery Loves Company

❝I'm just another pretty face so don't come any closer.❞ ❝You're not the first, you're not the last. How many more? Don't even ask.❞ ❝You're one more dead composer.❞ ❝Did you plan this all along?❞ ❝Did you care if it was wrong?❞ ❝Misery loves company and company loves more, more loves everybody else, but hell is others.❞ ❝I'm not for you, you're not for me.❞ ❝I'll kill you first you wait and see, you devil undercover.❞ ❝You're not a prince, you're not a friend, you're just a child and in the end you're one more selfish lover.❞ ❝Do I need you? Yes and no.❞ ❝Do I want you? Maybe so.❞ ❝You're so easy to read, but the book is boring me.❞ ❝Pray for me, if you want to.❞ ❝Pray for me, if you care.❞ ❝Pray for me, if you dare.❞ ❝Pray for me, you fucker.❞

07 God Help Me

❝God help me, I don't see how I can live this way.❞ ❝Won't you shine in my direction and help me?❞ ❝Won't you lend me your protection and help me?❞ ❝Believe me, this wasn't what I wanted.❞ ❝No, I can't leave, he's got me.❞ ❝Am I guilty or am I just waiting around for the tide to come in, so the truth can come out?❞ ❝If I had a dollar for every time I repented the sin and commit the same crime I'd be sitting on top of the world today.❞ ❝God help me, just maybe I'll learn to help myself.❞ ❝Speak to me, don't leave me, he's burning me!❞ ❝Places, everyone: this is a test.❞ ❝Throw your stones, do your damage, your worst and your best.❞ ❝All the world is a judge but that doesn't compare to what I do to myself when you're not there.❞ ❝Don't make me choose, I've got too much to lose.❞ ❝God help me, God help me, God help me, God help me!❞

08 Shalott

❝She can't recall what it was like to feel.❞ ❝This room's gonna be my grave and there's no one who can save me.❞ ❝How long can I live this way? Is there no one I can pay to let me go?❞ ❝I'm half sick of shadows, I wanna see the sky.❞ ❝Everyone else can watch as the sun goes down. So why can't I?❞ ❝And it's raining and the stars are falling from the sky.❞ ❝I've been waiting for the day I will surely die and it's here, and it's here for I've been told that I'll die before I'm old.❞ ❝That man's gonna be my death because he's all I ever wanted in my life.❞ ❝I know he doesn't know my name and that all the girls are all the same to him.❞ ❝I've got to get out of this place because I don't think I can face another night.❞ ❝Everyone else can watch as the tide comes in. So why can't I?❞ ❝I've been waiting for the day I will surely die.❞ ❝I've been told that I'll die before I'm old.❞ ❝And the wind I know it's cold but there's willow trees and little breezes, waves, and walls and flowers.❞ ❝There's moonlight every single night as I'm locked in these towers.❞ ❝So I'll meet my death but with my last breath, I'll sing to him my love.❞ ❝I could have guessed it all along 'cause now some drama queen is gonna write a song for me.❞ ❝Well, then that explains a thing or two because I know I'm the cursed one I know I'm meant to die.❞ ❝Everyone else can watch as their dreams untie. So why can't I?❞ ❝I've been waiting for the day I will surely die and it's here, it's finally here.❞

09 Gothic Lolita

❝How old are you? I'm older than you'll ever be.❞ ❝I've been dead a thousand years and lived only two or three.❞ ❝I don't mind telling you my life was ended by your hand.❞ ❝The kind of murder where nobody dies but I don't suppose you'd understand.❞ ❝Call off the search, we've found her.❞ ❝The law won't arrest you, the world won't detest you. You never did anything any man wouldn't do.❞ ❝I'm just a dead little girl.❞ ❝I perfectly understand.❞ ❝So it's my fault.❞ ❝You've made me what I am today. A bundle of broken nerves and a mouthful of words I'm still afraid to say.❞ ❝Now that I'm old enough to love I couldn't begin to, even if my pretty life depended on it.❞ ❝I am your sugar, I am your cream, I am your anti-American dream.❞ ❝I am your worst nightmare, now scream.❞

10 Dead is the New Alive

❝Dead is the new alive.❞ ❝Despairs the new survival.❞ ❝Give in. You play the game, you'll never win.❞ ❝So take me now or take me never.❞ ❝I won't wait. You're already late.❞ ❝How else can we survive?❞ ❝So take me now or take me never. I won't wait.❞ ❝So say goodbye or say forever. Choose your fate.❞ ❝What is a day without a blessed night?❞ ❝And what is peace without a blessed fight?❞ ❝A quick taste of the poison, a quick twist of the knife when the obsession with death becomes a way of life.❞

11 I Know Where You Sleep

❝I know the sickening thoughts that slither around your head.❞ ❝I know the gluttonous guilt that buried me in your bed.❞ ❝Manipulate me if you can, go on and fool me.❞ ❝I know the arrogant pride that poisons the truth you hear.❞ ❝I know the bigoted tongue that tears away all your fear.❞ ❝Pontificate, you faded star.❞ ❝Go on and show them who you really are.❞ ❝I know your tainted flesh, I know your filthy soul, I know each trick you played.❞ ❝I know the secrets that you keep.❞ ❝I know where you sleep.❞ ❝I know the tedious need to turn all you love to hate, you poor, pathetic paranoid.❞ ❝Is it just me, or do you secretly enjoy it?❞ ❝I know your tainted flesh.❞ ❝I know your filthy soul.❞ ❝I know each trick you played, whore you laid, dream you stole.❞ ❝You play the victim very well.❞ ❝You build your self-indulgent hell.❞ ❝You wanted someone to understand you? Well, be careful what you wish for because I do.❞ ❝You've got a fancy turn of phrase.❞ ❝You're so fond of games you must never lose.❞ ❝Funny how the only one in your bed is you.❞ ❝Oh my god, I touched you I can never live it down.❞ ❝I loved you, I can never live it down.❞ ❝I fucked you, I can never live it down.❞ ❝I'm wishing you the best of luck and by the way, your poetry sucks.❞

12 Let the Record Show

❝Why did I turn to you?❞ ❝I only wanted a hand to pour my heart into.❞ ❝Now I'm paying with my life.❞ ❝So let the record show that you murdered me in your coldest blood with your own two hands.❞ ❝Get them off and they'll let you go.❞ ❝I only gave you a chance to prove the rumors true.❞ ❝You're jealous, oh?❞ ❝You're jealous, why?❞ ❝It's a simple excuse for a complex crime.❞ ❝If I'm going down, then I'm going down good.❞ ❝If I'm going down, then I'm going down clean.❞ ❝If I'm going down, then I'm going down the prettiest broken girl you've ever seen.❞ ❝If I'm going down, then I'm going the prettiest wretched whore you've ever seen.❞ ❝But while I breathe I've got no evidence to prove my end.❞ ❝And so you'll walk away? Nope, wrong again!❞ ❝You're jealous, why? It's a simple excuse for a complex crime.❞

14 306

❝If it was an accident where are the tears?❞ ❝Behind the cathedral is where my body hides but I'm not inside.❞ ❝If it was a game then why couldn't I play?❞ ❝I am still overglorified.❞ ❝My reasons to live were my reasons to die but at least they were mine.❞ ❝The pistol, the poison, the noose or the knife. I have chosen my instrument and said no goodbyes.❞

15 Thank God, I'm Pretty

❝Thank God, I'm pretty.❞ ❝I'm blessed with the ability to render grown men tongue-tied.❞ ❝When it's dark outside I have to run and hide, can't look behind me.❞ ❝Thank God, I'm pretty. Every skill I ever have will be in question.❞ ❝Every ill that I must suffer, clearly brought on by myself though the cops would come for someone else.❞ ❝I'm truly privileged to look this good without clothes on.❞ ❝It's lucky, I hate to be taken seriously.❞ ❝I think my ego would fall right through the cracks in the floor If I couldn't count on men to slap my ass anymore.❞ ❝Thank you, God, for the occasional champagne I never asked for.❞

16 Marry Me

❝Marry me, he said, through his rotten teeth, bad breath.❞ ❝I knew I hadn't any choice, hushed my voice, did what any girl would do.❞ ❝When I'm beheaded, at least I was wedded.❞ ❝When I am buried, at least I was married.❞ ❝I'll hide my behavior with wine as my savior.❞ ❝But, oh, what beautiful things I'll wear.❞ ❝I'm lucky to share his bed especially since I'll soon be dead.❞ ❝Marry me, he said, god, he's ugly, but fortune is ours.❞ ❝My life is arranged, but this union's deranged.❞ ❝I'll fuck who I choose, for I've nothing to lose.❞ ❝We're coupled together through hell, hurt, and hunger or at least until husband finds someone younger.❞ ❝I'm lucky to share his bed, so why do I wish I was…❞

[orxna]

"even when things look bleak, i'll keep you safe. you're not alone in this."

Keep You Safe Starters || Accepting || @breathandshadow

"But--But he's gone," Orana cannot remember the last time she cried in the open like this. The great heaving sobs that leave her head spinning and her fingers tingling, as she clutches at the bloodied coat, "Th-They can't both be gone."

She had thought that--She had met Rook and they spoke of Varric as if--

But all that's here is Bianca shattered to pieces, the Inquisition's writ, and his coat. She could clean it, she knows how to clean blood from clothing. She'll need lemons and white vinegar but then it won't smell like him anymore. She holds tighter, as if it might disappear otherwise, as if it will be taken from her. Aftershave and ink and the good whiskey he always kept hidden on the highest shelf in Hawke's larder because Hawke and Isabela never expected a dwarf to hide something somewhere tall.

He won't be coming back to loudly lament his retirement as Viscount while Bran grumbles and Orana hides giggles behind her hand. Won't tell her that he's proud when she plays something she learned at the fancy Orlesian music college he paid for her to study at. He won't be there to squeeze her hand softly as Orana sips Hawke's terrible whiskey on the anniversary of when they lost her even though it makes her cough and gag because the stuff smells like Hawke.

Orana is just barely thirty and she has lost her papa, has lost her mama, has lost another father figure, yet another jagged piece of their broken little family ashes on the wind. Every year less of them linger, drifting further from each other without Hawke here to moor them. It hurts, it hurts so much and Orana thinks her chest will cave in with the ache of it. What will she do? How can she face the others when just the thought of it has her breaking down so strongly.

Varric is gone, and Hawke is gone, and she can't breathe.

[orxna]

Orana is 5 whole feet tall and very proud of that. She shot up about four inches between being adopted by Hawke and finally getting a stable environment to her eventual final height so during act 2 she's only 4'8''.

[orxna]

༘⋆｡ where it hurts starters.

caretaker.

i'll  stay  until  you  fall  asleep.

you're  not  a  burden.  not  to  me.

you  don't  have  to  act  tough  with  me.

let  me  help.

if  you  need  to  cry,  i'll  look  the  other  way.

you  don't  have  to  talk.

let  me  handle  it,  just  for  a  minute.

rest,  i'll  watch  over  you.

i  don't  care  if  you  think  you're  fine.  i'm  staying.

deep  breaths.

just  lean  on  me.

you're  safe  now,  okay?  just  breathe.

i  know  it  hurts.  i'll  sit  here  as  long  as  it  takes.

i'm  not  leaving  until  i  know  you're  okay.

you  don't  need  to  hide.

let  me  take  care  of  you  this  time.

shh.  i'm  right  here.

you  don't  have  to  put  on  a  smile  for  me.

i  don't  think  less  of  you.

i'll  be  here  when  you  wake  up.

you're  allowed  to  lean  on  me.  that's  what  i'm  here  for.

you  don't  have  to  be  okay.

scoot  over,  i'm  not  letting  you  sleep  alone.

your  hair's  a  mess.  let  me  brush  it.

don't  apologize.

cared  for.

i'm  tired,  that's  all.

please  don't  go.

i  don't  know  what  i  need.

you  didn't  need  to  come.

you  shouldn't  have  to  see  me  like  this.

i  hate  feeling  like  this.

i  was  trying  to  push  through.  i  think  i  made  it  worse.

this  is  so  embarrassing.

can  you  just...  stay  a  little  longer?

i  didn't  think  anyone  would  notice...

i'm  not  safe  in  my  own  head  right  now.

why  are  you  being  so  gentle  with  me?

i  don't  want  you  to  fix  me.

today's  just...  one  of  the  harder  days.

i  didn't  know  i  needed  to  hear  that.

can  you  stay?  after  i  fall  asleep?

sorry.  i  didn't  mean  to  flinch.

i  don't  always  know  what's  going  to  help.

this  is  the  nicest  anyone’s  been  to  me  all  week.

i'm  sorry.  i  know  i'm  a  lot.

i  don't  even  know  why  i'm  crying...

i  think  i'm  broken.

you  didn't  have  to  do  all  this  for  me.

i  don't  want  to  be  a  burden.

i  didn't  think  anyone  would  stay.

[orxna]

Danarius sold Cardea (Orana's mother) sometime between Orana's first and second birthday so if Cardea conceived Tractus during that time and Danarius found out and didn't send her away to keep Oren from being distracted he did it to keep a bastard out of his house.

Katie has me Tractus Pilled, I have thought of a way that he can be related to Orana.

[orxna]

Katie has me Tractus Pilled, I have thought of a way that he can be related to Orana.

[orxna]

The Crane Wives Sentence Prompts

A series of prompts taken from The Crane Wives' 2020 album Here I Am Change bits and bobs as needed

01 Daydreamer

❝Two steps forward and one step back.❞ ❝It’s not over, this is only a setback.❞ ❝We’ll just have to move a little bit faster now, faster now.❞ ❝Daydreamer, you’re falling behind.❞ ❝I’ll get there in my own time.❞ ❝I got too far from who I am I thought it would be easier to change.❞ ❝How many times can someone start again?❞ ❝How many more times will it take?❞ ❝The future is stretching out in every direction and I want it all.❞ ❝I want it all.❞

02 Volta

❝I'm getting used to the noise and light.❞ ❝Find a new dream.❞ ❝God, I never wanna shut my eyes.❞ ❝I'm tired of passing like a ghost through my life.❞ ❝Do you remember being young and eager?❞ ❝Give me a reason to connect, be nearer, I wanna make you feel alive.❞ ❝I think I'm ready to be here.❞ ❝I wanna be found.❞ ❝I think I'm ready to be here, tie me down.❞ ❝Goddamn, I made a mess of my mind.❞ ❝I need an anchor. God, I wanna be satisfied because I'm tired of feeling like a shadow in my life.❞ ❝Do you remember being sharp and needy?❞ ❝My heart was hungry like a fire.❞ ❝Tell me that you're still burning up and greedy.❞ ❝I want you to make me feel alive.❞ ❝I think I'm ready to be here, I wanna be found.❞ ❝Are you ready? Get ready.❞

05 Here I Am

❝I'm getting tired of watching other people go.❞ ❝It's obvious now that I've been forgotten.❞ ❝How long have I been here all alone?❞ ❝Here I am again. The one who gets left behind.❞ ❝Settled in, had a plan but I never factored in everyone else saying goodbye.❞ ❝This ghost town is making a ghost of me.❞ ❝I promised myself I'd learn to be the one who leaves.❞ ❝With no more roots to tie me down, it's just a different kind of lonely.❞ ❝I'm back to pulling arms and begging and begging.❞ ❝For the love of God, don't leave me here again.❞ ❝I never factored in everyone else saying goodbye.❞ ❝I come from a long line of people who believe in the flowers that grow in the cracks in the street.❞

06 Nobody

❝Hear her voice go swinging like a hatchet through the trees.❞ ❝There's a shadow at the back door, something's moving in the shade.❞ ❝She lights cigarettes like lanterns for the darkness in my head.❞ ❝Nobody еver loved me likе she tells me she does.❞ ❝Wraps her tentacles around me like she'll never let me go.❞ ❝Fury shakes the rafters, but never in my favor.❞ ❝I'm trembling in the eye of the only storm I've ever known.❞ ❝Something's wailing in my chest, it eclipses every siren, any sins that she's confessed.❞ ❝Nobody ever loved me, so she tells me.❞ ❝I should be counting blessings. Something is better than nothing, isn't it?❞ ❝It's close enough to perfect.❞ ❝What does it hurt, a little bit?❞ ❝Nobody ever loved me like she loves me. Nobody ever loved me like she tells me she does.❞

07 Queen of Nothing

❝Stop the car, I wanna get out.❞ ❝I'm craving open air and solid ground.❞ ❝Isn't this what you wanted?❞ ❝Time sure feels like it's running out.❞ ❝Just finish what you started.❞ ❝Queen of nothing, wearing such a heavy crown.❞ ❝Like a moth in the night, I'm desperate for a minute in the light.❞ ❝Everywhere that I go, something pulls me to the shadows and I'm trying not to get too close but it's always there, saying my name, calling to me.❞ ❝Can we slow down? Time isn't running out.❞

08 Hollow Moon

❝Let us in, let us in.❞ ❝I'm a fool.❞ ❝I've been howling at a hollow moon.❞ ❝There's something burning in the empty room inside of my head. Fill it up with doubt, let it in, let it spread.❞ ❝I won't be sleeping. There's too many monsters in the backyard.❞ ❝I feel them creeping closer, closer, closer.❞ ❝I'm afraid.❞ ❝Is this a bunker or a shallow grave? Either way, I'm left holding onto the shovel and rope, digging in the dirt. Finding bones, finding ghosts.❞ ❝There's too many monsters in the backyard and I feel them creeping closer.❞ ❝If I made my bed, did I make the demons in it?❞ ❝Set 'em free from my head. Did I make the demons in it?❞

09 Taking Turns

❝It's bound to get better soon.❞ ❝We've been running circles for too long.❞ ❝These are the growing pains, changes always strike the spirit wrong.❞ ❝Hold on to me tight.❞ ❝True love is taking turns lying, saying everything is gonna be alright.❞ ❝We're bound to reach the bottom soon. We've been falling for a long time.❞ ❝One year we'll look back and say that these wеre the good old days so now we'vе gotta prove ourselves right.❞ ❝It's like every day we get more bad news.❞ ❝True love is taking turns lying, saying everything is gonna be alright while we're standing in the kitchen crying.❞ ❝True love is taking turns believing.❞

10 Drown You Out

❝Took a long, long time for me to get here.❞ ❝Never known you in my day but your song sings in my veins, and I'm singing too.❞ ❝I can't drown you out no matter what I do.❞ ❝Take me in my damaged state.❞ ❝Walked a thousand miles to be here again.❞ ❝Your song sings in my veins, and I'm singing too. I can't drown you out no matter what I do.❞ ❝I'm still here.❞

12 Empty Page

❝I’m just a ten cent copy of people far more advanced than me.❞ ❝Every thought that I’ve ever had could be ripped from a magazine.❞ ❝Cut me a path, and I will follow it. Draw me a line, and I’ll avoid it.❞ ❝I’m nothing if not obedient.❞ ❝You have my word.❞ ❝I am an empty page, a muddled shade of paint.❞ ❝I am a light that’s burning out.❞ ❝I have hands that shake when there are cuts to make.❞ ❝You’ll do it better, show me how.❞ ❝Tie me up by my callow belief.❞ ❝Someday I’ll make something out of me.❞ ❝Years of imitating mastery only made me a better thief.❞

13 Sowing Seeds

❝Still as a street long after the work is done as he gnashes his teeth, as he cuts it up.❞ ❝The sun's long set and it's growing darker by the hour.❞ ❝I hope you're listening.❞ ❝The door broke open, and if we blink we stand to miss this.❞

15 The Wolf

❝I am not a builder, I’m much better at blowing things down.❞ ❝I will join the wolf at my door, breathing out storms when she comes around.❞ ❝I am not a tempest.❞ ❝I light torches in my sleep.❞ ❝I have gasoline in my veins. I am always burning, burning, burning.❞ ❝Can it be easy for once?❞ ❝I’m no good at being kind to myself or anyone.❞ ❝I am a falling axe, I am a sharpened knife, I am a poison asp, I am a risk to your life, my love.❞ ❝Can it be, can it be easy for once? Because I’m no good at being kind to myself or anyone.❞ ❝I am a risk to your life.❞ ❝I am the beast at your back, you better run for your life.❞ ❝I will join the wolf.❞

17 High Horse

❝She is fiction, she's a curse.❞ ❝She's a pretty thing on a high, high shelf.❞ ❝You know your worth but there's so many things you want for yourself.❞ ❝We get what we deserve.❞ ❝We never really learn.❞ ❝I keep tallies, I keep score, I'm a petty thing on a high, high horse.❞ ❝You've got your mouth open. I hold my tongue.❞ ❝There's so many things that we can't ignore.❞ ❝We never really learn, or do we?❞ ❝You're never gonna get what you want, so why feel guilty about it?❞ ❝You're a sweetheart.❞ ❝You're a passing grade on a low, low bar.❞ ❝I know your worth but I've got so many things in my hungry, hungry heart.❞ ❝We get what we deserve, don't we?❞ ❝You are never gonna change her mind, so don't try.❞

[orxna]

Faexus Danarius won the poll and honestly, I'm pretty good with that. Get fucked shithead that's your name on this blog now.

[orxna]

Still thinking about this.

Am I on the wrong blog??? Yes, but I’m thinking about how Katie and me were talking about Tractus and how he’s called a half-breed and the concept of him and Orana being related will quite literally not leave my mind. I will think on this further when I’m no longer trapped on mobile.

[orxna]

A job in hell is still better than going back to Danarius' Creepy Evil Wizard Tower where the corpse of her father is still serving Danarius as an undead thrall.

[orxna]

Casira telling the party about her marriage deal with Raphael and everyone else is just like 'Oh how could you do this, Casira???' 'How could you be so foolish, Casira??' 'This will be your ruin, Casira'

And Orana is asking to see the pre-nup and whether Casira has a tailor for the wedding yet because of course Lady Casira will get a proper wedding, not an elopement. If he won't give her a proper noble wedding, and full bridal rights in his household tell him it will make him look poor not to do so. That always works.

@katabasiiis

[orxna]

[APPROVAL] + marrying raphael

Approval Meme || Accepting || @katabasiiis

It's complicated, is the thing. She understands that Casira is a noble and she understands from serving many noble guests of Danarius that marriage is a political choice that many make. She knows very few people who have married for love and they're almost all met after she's tadpoled so that concept in general is still very new. So what Raphael has to offer, safety for Casira's family is a naturally appealing trade for something as simple as marriage. She's seen many married couples among Danarius' contemporaries who can only offer the thinnest of veneers over their clear hatred for each other. Casira doesn't seem to hate Raphael, not in a way that would outweigh what she gains through the exchange of vows. So, Orana gets it. She'll quite literally follow Casira into hell to ensure that the promise of safety the devil offers is real and that the elder woman doesn't need help. Also, at least he knows what a hairbrush is unlike some of Casira's other suitors.

[orxna]

The Crane Wives Sentence Prompts

A series of prompts taken from The Crane Wives' 2016 album Foxlore Change bits and bobs as needed

01 Nothing at All

❝Happy is the man who wants for nothing.❞ ❝Happy is the liar.❞ ❝Happiness is itself desire.❞ ❝Do you ever want nothing at all? I do.❞ ❝Heart broken men long to feel nothing, to free themselves from strife.❞ ❝Do you ever feel nothing at all I do. I do I would not wish that on you.❞ ❝Do you ever want nothing at all?❞

02 I Talk In My Sleep

❝I talk in my sleep when the night is listening.❞ ❝You are dreaming dreams that have not a thing to do with me.❞ ❝I talk in my sleep when my demons won't let me be. They twist the things I say when you are far away.❞ ❝I talk in my sleep in a language you don't speak.❞ ❝The room, it echoes clear with words we choose not to hear.❞ ❝I will finally say that I am not okay.❞

03 Down The River

❝I've been wishing that you'd prove me wrong, that you'd come clean and rue the damage done, restore my faith in you but you've got no reason to.❞ ❝Ain't it easier to just move on?❞ ❝One door closing means another one opens unto some unsuspecting fool.❞ ❝Sure, you can forget about all the things you've done but what about the rest of us?❞ ❝High-tail it when it gets to be too much but what about the rest of us?❞ ❝You can sell us down the river, you were never the one to suffer.❞ ❝I've been hearing that you're leaving town.❞ ❝The dust never settles when you're around. Too many people with your name on top of their lists.❞ ❝Now, tell me, when you start again, where will you house your skeletons?❞ ❝Sure, you can forget about all the things you've done but what about the rest of us?❞

04 Ribs

❝Marrow made a wife of Eve but no one gave up a rib for me and mine.❞ ❝My heart stayed exposed to the elements, Calloused and untouched by a man's design.❞ ❝Never to be moved by the words of a liar.❞ ❝The dark doesn't frighten me, I chose to close my eyes. It is mine, it is mine.❞ ❝The night doesn't frighten me, I chose to let it thrive. It is mine, it is mine.❞ ❝Time has changed the metaphor now, dust is not the origin of bone.❞ ❝Don't let them sell you any armor, all your ribs are still your own.❞ ❝Oh, my precious child, how lucky you are, handed down a shield for your tender parts.❞ ❝The dark doesn't frighten me.❞ ❝I chose to close my eyes.❞ ❝It is mine, it is mine.❞ ❝The night doesn't frighten me, I chose to let it thrive.❞

05 Can’t Go Back

❝It's time to learn to be more forgiving of yourself and your sins.❞ ❝Those mistakes you've made you've got to try to take the lessons away from them and leave the rest behind.❞ ❝All the self-loathing in the world won't change a thing.❞ ❝You can't go back, darling, the time has come for moving on.❞ ❝You can't be always trying to dig up what you've already buried.❞ ❝It's not fair when have you ever known the world to be a fair place?❞ ❝All things end and all things change.❞ ❝You'll look back and laugh someday or at least you'll learn to be okay.❞ ❝It's time to learn to be more forgiving of yourself.❞

06 Curses

❝There's a fire in my brain and I'm burning up.❞ ❝Every word I say is kindling but the smoke clears when you're around.❞ ❝Won't you stay with me, my darling when my walls start burning down?❞ ❝This house says my name like an elegy, echoing where my ghosts all used to be.❞ ❝Won't you stay with me, my darling when this house don't feel like home?❞ ❝Oh ashes, ashes, dust to dust, the devil's after both of us.❞ ❝Oh, lay my curses out to rest make a mercy out of me.❞ ❝All my aching bones are trembling and I may yet fall apart.❞ ❝Won't you stay with me, my darling when the war starts in my heart?❞ ❝The devil's after both of us.❞ ❝Tell me I am good enough.❞

07 Turn Out The Lights

❝You don't have to believe every single thought that tumbles through your head just 'cause it sounds like you talking.❞ ❝Sometimes all you can do is say goodnight and tuck your demons into bed 'cause they're not worth fighting.❞ ❝Turn out the lights on your racing mind.❞ ❝You keep a running list of all your doubts and your dead ends and when you pull yourself out of bed you taste them on the tip of your tongue.❞ ❝What good has ever come of it? What answers will you find?❞ ❝You don't have to believe every single thought that tumbles through your head.❞

08 Pretty Little Things

❝I once loved a man who was all lips and hands. Cracked lips and hands, calloused hands I still feel his touch against my skin.❞ ❝Past loves linger like phantom limbs.❞ ❝I cut straight to the heart.❞ ❝I don't believe the pretty little things that you say, I've heard a lot of little pretty things.❞ ❝Don't buy me flowers It pains me to watch pretty little things wilt away.❞ ❝There are lessons in life no one should have to learn.❞ ❝Trust is now something I make people earn so I'm not inclined to just give it away to a pair of blue eyes with some nice things to say.❞ ❝I don't believe the pretty little things that you say.❞ ❝I've heard a lot of little pretty things.❞ ❝I know a trick to make a man's colors show. If he sees something he wants, tell him no.❞ ❝Maybe you're right, and maybe I have been used up by another man's hungry hands.❞ ❝Maybe you're right, and maybe I have been ruined by another man after him.❞ ❝But maybe I'm the one who's right.❞ ❝Maybe you will prove why women like me never fall for pretty little things.❞

09 Know How

❝I am not brave.❞ ❝I am not brave, I keep my focus on what is safe.❞ ❝I gotta wrap my head around what my heart is telling me. I've been trying to drown it out.❞ ❝Just because I know what I am supposed to do now doesn't mean I know how.❞ ❝I am not brave, I blind my eyes to what won't stay.❞ ❝You kissed my mouth, you pushed me out, and now I'm struggling to free myself.❞ ❝I gotta wrap my head around What my heart is telling me.❞

10 Not The Ghost

❝Oh, turn your lamps down low. Keep the light so dim that you can't see what's out there ahead of you.❞ ❝My dear, there are secrets here.❞ ❝There are secrets here. I will carry them home.❞ ❝If only I could break the chain of disappointments weighing me down.❞ ❝I won't be afraid of all the things I've wanted.❞ ❝It's the fear, and not the ghost that leaves me haunted.❞ ❝You're an anchor for all the heaviest regrets inside of you.❞ ❝We collect mistakes, I will carry them home.❞ ❝If only I could break the chain of disappointments, shake off the ghosts that whisper warnings whenever you're not around.❞

11 The Garden

❝I need you to bury this beneath my bed.❞ ❝The crows in the garden are laughing at my expense, drowning out all the lies that I might have told instead.❞ ❝Hold your light to the darkness in my head.❞ ❝Put your ear to my heart or set your teeth against my throat.❞ ❝Give me something pretty to wear beneath my blood-stained clothes.❞ ❝My darling, the devil knows my name.❞ ❝Tell the crows they can have their pound of flesh.❞ ❝The ghosts at the window echo all our quiet prayers.❞ ❝When they come for us, they'll come with hammers and nails.❞ ❝Get on your knees and dig up the garden.❞ ❝Won't you throw down that spade and dig up the garden, darling?❞ ❝Get your hands dirty and rip up the garden.❞ ❝Won't you cut down that apple tree for me?❞

[orxna]

The Crane Wives Sentence Prompts

A series of prompts taken from The Crane Wives' 2015 album Coyote Stories Change bits and bobs as needed

01 Keep You Safe

❝When I was a child my nerves ran wild.❞ ❝When I watched my friends rise to the tops of the trees with the risk of fall I never climbed at all. Every day I told myself I’m not ready.❞ ❝Time is not your friend. Time is not your remedy. No amount of waiting will make you brave.❞ ❝No amount of fear will keep you safe.❞ ❝The older I get, the more fears I collect. I gather them from all the people I meet.❞ ❝Their stories reveal regrets their smiles can’t conceal.❞ ❝I carry them with me.❞ ❝Nothing worth doing comes easy.❞ ❝What if the steps I take turn out to be mistakes?❞ ❝How can somebody like me learn to say ❝Come what may❞?❞

02 The Moon Will Sing

❝Tell me once again I could have been anyone, anyone else before you made the choice for me.❞ ❝My feet knew the path we walked in the dark, I never gave a single thought to where it might lead.❞ ❝We could have been anywhere, anywhere else instead I made a bed with apathy.❞ ❝My heart knew the weight, ten years' worth of dust and neglect.❞ ❝We made our peace with weariness and let it be.❞ ❝The moon will sing a song for me, I loved you like the sun. Bore the shadows that you made with no light of my own.❞ ❝I shine only with the light you gave me.❞ ❝Name your courage now.❞ ❝We could have had anything else, instead you hoarded all that's left of me.❞ ❝I want to feel the fire that you kept from me.❞ ❝The moon will sing a song for me.❞ ❝I loved you like the sun.❞

03 Allies or Enemies

❝The words I speak are wildfires and weeds, they spread like some awful damn disease.❞ ❝I swear I didn’t mean what I said. I swear I didn’t mean it.❞ ❝Now listen close, you owe me ears for dropping eaves.❞ ❝Forget it all, you caught me in a moment weak.❞ ❝Sometimes I just can’t help myself.❞ ❝Are we allies or enemies?❞ ❝This will be the death of me.❞ ❝Remember when I could tell you not to smile when you were mad?❞ ❝Now you’re not so quick to forget.❞ ❝Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me.❞ ❝All is fair in love and war, but I can’t fight with you anymore.❞ ❝What happens now? Do we have another go? Do we bow out and take our separate roads?❞ ❝I’ll admit I’ve had my doubts but I want to be let in, not out.❞

04 Unraveling

❝I once loved a tailor who took eager care of me, sewed together my loose ends with stitches neat and clean but now my love is gone and I am left unraveling.❞ ❝I once loved a gardener, with his dirt-smudged face and hands trimmed my weeds and gave me room to grow my flowers again but now my love is gone and I am left here withering.❞ ❝I once loved a carpenter who carved a smile for me, sanded my rough edges, crafted new and lovely things but now my love is gone and I can’t help the fracturing.❞ ❝I never knew that I needed you.❞ ❝I once loved a man who kissed me once before he left, tied me up in knots, and said he’d soon return again but now my love is gone and I am left unraveling.❞

05 Hard Sell

❝I'm trying to make something of myself.❞ ❝I feel like I'm working with barbed wire and moth wings because I can't really get a hold of many things.❞ ❝I'm one deep breath away from a breakdown.❞ ❝My nerves are wrecked and coming unwound.❞ ❝The world is hostile and I'm fragile and I need someone to kiss the cuts and tell me to keep trying.❞ ❝Is it me? Is it really just me?❞ ❝Does everybody have it together or are we all pretending?❞ ❝Is it me? Is it really just me? Holding it together with one loose string that I can't stop pulling.❞ ❝I rip myself apart at the seams. I find one weak spot and start unraveling, hoping I can find a better me. A fresh new start buried under me.❞ ❝Can we stop pretending now?❞ ❝Can we stop pretending now? Can we all admit that we don't have it figured out?❞

06 Rockslide

❝Oh, I know you want to plant your feet but we best get a move on, or the devil we will meet.❞ ❝Oh, I pray today my soul to keep but we best get a move on, or the devil we will meet❞ ❝Drop dead sprint, my darling, now!❞ ❝Don't look back now honey, just try to breathe.❞ ❝That monster's comin' and it don't care for you or me.❞ ❝Don't look back now honey, just try to breathe, that monster's comin' and it don't care for you or me.❞ ❝Oh, the angels we may someday see but we best get a move on, or the devil we will meet.❞ ❝We best get a move on, or the devil we will meet.❞

07 Metaphor

❝I've gotten good at leaning on metaphors.❞ ❝I've gotten good at living on someone else's page.❞ ❝I cut my teeth on secondhand sentiments.❞ ❝You can't trust a single thing I say.❞ ❝I keep my closet free of skeletons because I'm much better at digging graves but I always dig up bones in your sympathy.❞ ❝I can't trust a single thing you say.❞ ❝Don't look too hard, because you won't like the scars he left in me.❞ ❝I've gotten good at making up metaphors.❞ ❝I've gotten good at stretching the truth out of shape.❞ ❝All these words are sweet and meaningless, you can't trust a single thing I say.❞

08 The Hand That Feeds

❝I've seen good men spoiled, chained to their jobs like hounds. They work and sleep and work again. In the darkest nights, they howl.❞ ❝No man should stand to work all of his days and have nothing at the end of them.❞ ❝I got no money but the change that jingles in my pockets reminding me how little I have.❞ ❝As for time, I am powerless to stop it, it keeps rambling on like a mad, wandering man.❞ ❝My papa was a howlin' man, traded in his youth, sold his dreams and all of his days for the great American ruse.❞ ❝My dear papa gave me lessons in regret. He said all that he'd done would be for nothing if I followed in his steps.❞ ❝My papa taught me how to howl, how to bare my teeth, and growl.❞ ❝The hand that feeds deserves to be bitten when it beats.❞ ❝He taught me how to break my chains and that money ain't worth a thing.❞ ❝No man should get more of my time than me.❞ ❝I may never be a rich man but I can make sure that I am free.❞ ❝I may never be a rich man but the rich man will never have me.❞

09 Little Soldiers

❝It was a march we made towards ruin and despair but we held hands all the while.❞ ❝I swear that I loved you.❞ ❝Beneath the table you would offer up my bones and all the dogs would lick your fingers.❞ ❝I dragged you through every room inside our home but you still held me at night.❞ ❝I swear that you loved me.❞ ❝We didn't give up, we wouldn't dare surrender. It was an honest loss.❞ ❝Now the aftermath will ring with songs you've sung.❞ ❝All of our words sent home in boxes.❞ ❝I fought with tooth and nail before the flag had flown but you were already gone.❞

10 Sleeping Giants

❝I feel the mountains shifting under me.❞ ❝The sleeping giants are finally waking.❞ ❝My pulse is clear, rushing in my ears I hear something calling me.❞ ❝I hear something calling me.❞ ❝The moon is humming lovely melodies.❞ ❝The forest echoes, the trees are crowing hungry, hungry harmonies.❞

11 Of Everlong

❝Out of the ocean, over the harbor lay no sons and lay no daughters.❞ ❝Among the mountains of everlong 'twas there I wrote me a sad, sad song.❞ ❝If my lover will not heed it take my voice and take my spirit.❞ ❝Leave me weakened and dig my hole.❞ ❝Only my lover, not I, can keep my soul.❞

12 Never Love an Anchor

❝On some level I think I always understood that these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever.❞ ❝I tried to do the best that I could but try as I might I couldn't bring myself to hold you.❞ ❝It’s a secret I keep tucked inside my chest with this heart of mine that's guilty not remorseful.❞ ❝There is love that doesn't have a place to rest but it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders.❞ ❝On some level I think I always understood that a ship could never really love an anchor. So, I did the only thing that I could and severed the rope to set you sailing from my harbor.❞ ❝There are times when I still wonder about you. You are someone I have loved but never known.❞ ❝You’ll never see the reasons I had for keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you.❞ ❝I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel. I am all the things they might have said to you.❞ ❝Do you ever think of me and my two hands and wonder why they never soothed your fevers? And wonder why they never tied your shoes and wonder why they never held you gently and wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?❞

13 New Discovery

❝I want to stand on the edge of the water and see horizons stretch on forever.❞ ❝I want to know that there are lands not yet touched by human hands. I want to be the one to find them.❞ ❝Sometimes I feel like I'm lost in a desert and every dune is the same as the other.❞ ❝I know where I've been and these steps I take won't go to waste if I'm moving towards something.❞ ❝I want to believe there's something left for me.❞ ❝I want to kindle a love that doesn't age even when all the years carve lines into your face.❞ ❝Tell me I will be surprised when I think I've memorized every touch and every thought.❞ ❝I want you to prove me wrong.❞ ❝I want to believe there's something left for me, a new discovery waiting for me.❞

[orxna]

The Crane Wives Sentence Prompts

A series of prompts taken from The Crane Wives' 2011 album Safe Ship, Harbored Change bits and bobs as needed

01 Can’t Have It All

❝You won't find me where you left me. No, I'm long gone.❞ ❝I'm long gone.❞ ❝You can't bind me in the state you kept me for so long.❞ ❝Hearts don't wither, hearts don't break, but mine is tired, mine still aches.❞ ❝All my love you tried to take, you can't have it all.❞ ❝You can't have it all.❞ ❝I think I might learn to linger, but not now.❞ ❝I think you'll have a ring on your finger, but not now.❞ ❝I won't bargain, I won't break.❞ ❝My mind's made up, though my head still aches.❞ ❝You won't find me where you left me.❞

02 The Diving Bell

❝I will drown for you. Sink to black from blue and let the water win.❞ ❝Call me, will I sleep?❞ ❝Swallow my heart whole, sink me like a stone, I am not afraid of anything.❞ ❝The warmth against my ear echos heartbeats here, crashing inside my head.❞ ❝Far too soon for this but I am all in, no matter how it ends.❞ ❝Water rushes in, I will welcome it.❞ ❝I am not afraid to give you everything.❞ ❝I am not afraid.❞

03 New Colors

❝Orange, yellow, green, it's all the same to me. I've seen them all a million times before.❞ ❝I have half a mind to climb up in the sky and steal new colors away from the sun.❞ ❝Don't tell me that I can't.❞ ❝Oh Lord, don't tell me that I can't, I need this.❞ ❝I need this so damn bad.❞ ❝Folks 'round here are mean, spit fire and gasoline.❞ ❝All I want is solitude.❞ ❝I have half a mind to climb up in the sky and hide myself inside the moon.❞ ❝I need this.❞ ❝Oh Lord, don't tell me that I can't, I need this so damn bad.❞ ❝I give up my sight to see.❞ ❝I give up my air to breathe.❞

04 Caleb Trask

❝So you got bad in your blood? Brother, you're one of us.❞ ❝So you got bad in your blood?❞ ❝How long you gonna wait for those azaleas to bud?❞ ❝When a flower blossoms red, that's the day I'll love you.❞ ❝You're one of us.❞ ❝How long you gonna wait for those azaleas to burn?❞ ❝If you might then you may.❞ ❝There's no reason to live out in chains ‘cause you're not alone.❞ ❝We're the daughters of sinners, we're the sons of saints.❞ ❝There's no reason to live out in chains.❞ ❝You're not alone.❞ ❝When it all turns you sour only love can turn you back.❞ ❝Stop waiting on the flowers that don't mean a thing.❞

05 Counting Sheep

❝There goes your good day, there's the knot on the noose.❞ ❝Feign contentment for a while, that's all you know how to do.❞ ❝When the wool is off your eyes you'll stop counting sheep at night because you'll eat your fill of them during the daytime.❞ ❝Medicine to make you thin but puts an end to your dreaming.❞ ❝Bleeding together, the nights seem to stretch on forever.❞ ❝Morning comes a day too soon.❞ ❝You're back inside your tiny room waiting for something.❞ ❝When the wool is off your eyes you'll stop counting sheep at night.❞ ❝Something in you's fast asleep. Afraid to be who you will be.❞ ❝It's a losing battle, so why are you still fighting?❞ ❝Are you sleeping?❞

06 Hole in the Silver Lining

❝If there's a hole in the silver lining I'll be the one to find it. I take it upon myself to make sure I do.❞ ❝I might find nothing when I start looking but I turn it over in my hands until my fingers wear it through.❞ ❝If there's a hole in the silver lining I'll be the one to find it.❞ ❝Leave your doubt at the door.❞ ❝Don't you take another step.❞

07 Safe Ship, Harbored

❝Watch me give up, honey.❞ ❝Watch me give up. I swore I never would.❞ ❝What we've been wishing upon ourselves, things that I forgot I cannot do.❞ ❝Where does your faith fall?❞ ❝Where does your faith fall in me?❞ ❝Don't waste your blessings on me.❞ ❝I am a safe ship, harbored.❞ ❝I ain't proud.❞ ❝I wasn't born a safe ship. Something wore me down.❞ ❝I'll always wonder what's across the tossing ocean.❞ ❝The world I'm at looks really flat to me.❞ ❝A safe ship, harbored, losing all of my good years to the shallow water.❞ ❝Something wore me down.❞

08 Naked, The Night Falls

❝Softly a cold wind paints my face into your arms.❞ ❝Can't keep my senses from your taste.❞ ❝I'm not growing old.❞ ❝Slowly I burn like the autumn leaves.❞ ❝Brittle as ash but when I rise, love, I will learn like the elder trees.❞

09 Ancient History

❝My dreams keep diggin' up the bones of memories, discarded remnants of former times.❞ ❝Now every skeleton is slappin' its knees, laughin' at the holes he left behind.❞ ❝I try to let it fade away but I still hold on.❞ ❝My body's achin' like a knocked down drag out and my poor heart is an open wound.❞ ❝It's ancient history that's bleedin' out of me.❞ ❝So what am I supposed to do?❞ ❝I let it fade away.❞

10 October

❝Come, my dear, and be a part of my home.❞ ❝Missing stitch and flowers on a headstone but I will crawl like a sinner to be at your feet should God or the devil ever ask for me.❞ ❝Oh, my love, take my word, but keep the upper hand.❞ ❝I know you, you're the daughter of a lonely man.❞ ❝So let my hope grow cold and atrophy because there is no more room in your heart for me.❞ ❝Come, my dear, and drink while the water's still cold.❞ ❝I am naught but a scar upon your breastbone.❞ ❝So kiss me quick, steal every secret I keep. You can have anything that you want from me.❞

11 The Crooked, The Candle

❝There's blood in the water.❞ ❝The quiet are restless, the silent are still.❞ ❝I'm nobody's daughter.❞ ❝My enemies crawl, we're alone with the kill.❞ ❝If mercy's abound, I'll be safe, I'll be sound.❞ ❝The devil won't know all the love I just couldn't let go.❞ ❝I won't pretend my season won't end but I pray, when it's done, when it's through, I'll have something left for you.❞ ❝The noble are weary.❞ ❝This cradle still burns like a hole in my chest.❞ ❝Can anyone hear me?❞ ❝The crooked are smiling, they know me the best.❞ ❝If mercy's abound, I'll be safe, I'll be sound and the devil won't know all the love I just couldn't let go.❞ ❝I won't pretend my season won't end.❞ ❝I pray, when it's done, when it's through, I'll have something left for you.❞

12 I Ain’t Done

❝I am a pretty young thing.❞ ❝I am consumed with selfish wanting.❞ ❝I carelessly broke you down but I ain't done.❞ ❝Felt love's searing sting and you expose my nightly wandering.❞ ❝You put me in the ground, I ain't done.❞ ❝I have all the time I need to repent my wicked deeds.❞ ❝Plant my guilty seed by the moonlight in the cemetery.❞ ❝A woman in love has no regrets.❞ ❝You're the shadow cast by me. Still, I never see you coming.❞ ❝For life I gamble, love, but I ain't done.❞ ❝Wreckage in the wake of cruel betrayal. Paid my sins in blood, but I ain't done.❞ ❝I have all the time I need.❞ ❝He follows her into the night, finds her sleeping with another. By morning there were no survivors.❞ ❝Those who lay their love to sleep swear that they still hear me scream.❞ ❝And when full moon beckons, she relives the night that took her life. To suffer it in her eternal penance.❞ ❝She relives the night that took her life. To suffer it in her eternal penance.❞

[orxna]

The number of people who Ameridan will unfortunately have to deal with being mad at Hakkon for bothering Orana will not remain a low number

[orxna]

“Do you actually know what slaves in Tevinter do, Hakkon?” The irritation is easy to comb out of her careful question. It is almost funny, how much Hakkon is like Hadriana though he would likely be mildly offended by the comparison. So would Hadriana, she would likely would have ripped Orana’s hair from her scalp to be compared to a ‘barbarian’.

“They die, mostly,” it is an obvious fact but perhaps it is a bluntness that Hakkon will understand better, “When I was very little my master made all of us watch as his guard tore a man’s heart directly from his chest.”

She doesn’t actually remember much more than the sound because Papa shielded her eyes when Fenris’ lyrium brands whirred to life. He did no such thing when the man’s legs were shattered under the heavy thunk of Danarius’ stave. It would have been noticed, since the pain and the watching was the purpose of it all.

There is a moments pause where Orana mulls over her idea. It is likely a weakness to Hakkon but what of her is not a weakness in his eyes? There’s almost a distant sort of pragmatism that guides her hands to quickly finish the little turtle in her grip before tucking the rest of the uncut apples back into their basket for later. Before she can think too long on what she is about to do, Orana steps away from the table and moves with purpose toward Hakkon.

Her feet shift in their slippers as she kicks off one soft shoe. She almost winces at the feeling of cold stone against her scars but the feeling is not unfamiliar. Her expression is schooled into something she thinks resembles Fenris. Calm, brows knitted lightly with a small frown so uncharacteristic on her normally serene or blank face. She channels as much of his boldness as she’s able, the elder elf would not hesitate to put an end to such ignorant talking—

Though perhaps he would do more than Orana does, ignoring propriety as she raises her skirts enough to lift one bare foot and set it on the stool beside Hakkon with a dull thud.

“You wish for me to run about as a warrior? My master ensured that I would never even walk comfortably,”

The latticework of scars are ugly things, Orana hates to look at them. They healed poorly, after being forced to attend to Danarius’ guests for hours the shards of glass had embedded themselves so deep Papa had been terrified she would lose some of her toes. Even now, nearly a decade and a half later she tries not to run often, her gait is just as ugly as the scars when she does. A fact that Hadriana had always been quick to remind her so. Perhaps Hakkon will prove the resemblance to her former mistress uncanny after all, she thinks while watching his face closely.

“Do not insult my family when you do not understand what we have survived.”

"So you are honouring your ancestors. That is good." It's something he can understand, at least. His people have always paid due respects to their ancestors, and learnt from them; that and their gods is where their strength comes from. "But they were household slaves, no? Just like you? Not much to honour in such a life."

He says it with surprisingly little judgement. Though many look to the descendants of great warriors expecting greatness from them too, it is rarely so easy. Likewise, the child of a simple farmer or meek scribe can become a chieftain with enough courage and strength. The life of an ancestor is a mere suggestion, not a set path.

His mouth twitches at the correction, and again when she makes a noise of disapproval at his stealing of the apple slice. She does have spark in her, buried deep. The kind that must be blown on gently to grow rather than go out. Hakkon has no skill at gentleness, he can admit that readily enough, but it fascinates him to try.

"Then again", he says, rethinking, "they survived, as did you." That too is a victory of sorts, and it takes a certain kind of strength. "It is a shame that, though you escaped, you have not yet rise above their station. You are still here, cutting apples."