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[orpheatelos]

Holding On and Letting Go

After a long afternoon of studying in the school library (not his preferred activity, but Mitsuru had insisted after seeing his most recent exam scores) and an evening at the local boxing gym, Akihiko returns to the Iwatodai Dormitory. Having eaten on the way home from the gym, all he wants to do is brush his teeth and go to sleep.

Then he sees Makoto passed out in the dorm lounge, slumped in one of the luxurious chairs, the book he’d been reading now resting against his thigh. All those late nights cramming for exams or storming ever higher floors of Tartarus had finally caught up to him.

Deciding to wake Makoto up before Junpei finds him and does something stupid, Akihiko makes his way past the couch and table to stand over his slumbering friend. He had never paid Makoto much attention outside of Tartarus, but in sleep, the blue-haired boy looked much more fragile than his combat prowess would suggest. Aki had seen him cut down monsters twice his size, and if Takeba was to be believed, he'd beaten up three men at once with his bare hands. Yet in that moment, Aki can only compare him to his late sister Miki. He taps Makoto’s shoulder gently, but that fails to wake him.

Akihiko considers raising his voice, or even shaking Makoto awake. He can’t just leave him napping in a chair; his back would pay for that. But Makoto looks so serene that he can’t bring himself to interrupt his sleep either. The only option left is to carry him back to his room.

Sliding his arms under Makoto’s knees and back, Aki lifts him from the chair.

"C'mon, Leader,” he says. “Let's get you to bed."

When Akihiko shifts his arms underneath Makoto, the shorter boy mumbles something unintelligible and wraps his arms around Aki. He's holding on so tight, like he expects to be dropped at any moment, but Akihiko doesn’t take it as a slight to his strength. Once your home has been ripped away from you without warning, it’s hard to ever feel safe again.

After a slow, careful journey upstairs and down the hall, the two reach Makoto’s room. The door doesn’t lock, so Akihiko is able to awkwardly grab the handle and open it without disturbing his sleeping friend much. He carries him straight to bed and lowers him towards the sheets.

“Down you go,” he whispers, but Makoto won’t let go of him.

“Dad…” he whimpers, clinging tighter. “Don’t go…”

Aki lifts Makoto back up at once, holding him even tighter than before. “It’s okay,” he says. “I’m not going anywhere.” The words feel so awkward, a lie of omission he’s not skilled enough to tell convincingly, but his firm grip is soothing enough to compensate.

It takes almost a minute for Makoto to let go of him, but Aki doesn’t mind. Miki was the same way.

Once his friend is tucked into bed, Akihiko turns to leave, but the moment feels incomplete. There must be something he could do, if only he were socially savvy enough to realize what.

Feeling defeated, he makes his way out. He’s just about to close the door when it hits him.

"Good night, Leader." Akihiko sweeps Makoto’s fringe out of the way and kisses him on the forehead. As he stands up to leave, he sees a gentle smile on his friend’s face.

"Sweet dreams…”

[orpheatelos]

Morale Reasons

“I’ve fulfilled one of your requests.”

Elizabeth looks up from her book. “Oh?” she asks, as cheerful as ever. “What do you have for me this time, Yuki?”

“A Mothman,” I say, holding my hand out. A translucent playing card materializes, hovering a few centimeters above my palm. The picture is a gray moth, its yellow wings tucked behind its back.

“Excellent!” Elizabeth says. “Can it cast Fire spells?”

“It can,” I say. The card turns around, Mothman’s portrait facing me so Elizabeth can read the wall of statistics displayed on the back. She smiles, satisfied with my handiwork.

“Marvelous as always,” she says. “As thanks, may I gift you some clothes? They’re more suited for one of your friends, but I’m sure you’ll find them appealing as well.” She gives me the most stilted wink I’ve seen in my life, then reaches into her handbag and pulls out an entire maid costume. “Well? What do you think?”

“Thank you,” I say, my voice unsteady. I’m not sure how to react. “Where did you get that?”

“Fragments of human desire wash ashore in my realm,” Elizabeth intones. “This outfit is one of them, a symbol of some deeply coveted object or status. I haven’t a clue what place it occupies in the collective unconscious, but for it to arrive intact, its allure must be strong indeed.”

“You could say that,” I mutter, my face heating up. “I’ll take it.”

“Glorious!” Elizabeth says. “Have a wonderful day.”

After a meal at Hagakure Ramen, I return to my dorm room and empty out my school bag. I’d crudely folded the maid outfit Elizabeth gave me and stuffed it inside, but it doesn’t seem to have wrinkled too badly. I’m not sure what to do with it, though. Among the girls I’m friends with, it looks like it would fit Mitsuru best, but she would never wear a maid dress. Besides, it would be inappropriate to give as a gift. The recipient might think I was pressuring her to wear it for me.

I hang the garment up in my closet. We’re going to Tartarus tonight- someone’s wandered in again- and I need to get ready. But as I’m about to shut the closet door, an idea hits me.

Mitsuru and I are about the same height.

A few minutes later, I walk into the main lounge, dressed in the maid outfit. The skirt is more modest than I’d expected, and it even came with black tights, but I still feel vulnerable.

“Is everyone ready?” I ask. Everyone turns to face me, and six pairs of eyes widen in unison.

“Leader…” Mitsuru says politely. “Surely you don’t intend to wear that to Tartarus.”

“I do,” I say. “It’ll be good for morale.”

“Maybe if it was a girl wearin’ it,” Junpei complains. “This is just weird.”

“You can call me a girl if it makes you feel better,” I retort, grinning at Junpei.

“Not gonna happen,” Junpei says. “You’re one weird guy, Makoto.”

Aigis looks puzzled. “Your attire does not appear to provide any tactical advantages,” she states, “and it most closely resembles the uniforms worn by female servants at Mr. Kirijo’s vacation home. Why have you chosen to dress as such for a field operation?”

“Because I look cute in it,” I say. “Right, Yukari?”

Yukari’s face gets red. “N-no!” she insists. “I can’t believe I’m agreeing with Junpei, but seeing you in girls’ clothes is just weird. Especially since it’s a maid outfit.”

“I’m still gonna wear it,” I say. “Now, is everyone ready?”

As we’re walking home from the rescue operation, Yukari catches up to me. “There’s something I want to say to you,” she says, “but it stays between us. Got it?”

“Yeah.”

“You look cute in a maid dress,” she admits. “It’s a little weird still, ‘cause you’re a guy, but you wear it well. And… okay, maybe seeing you like that did boost my morale a bit.” She glares at me. “If you tell anyone I said this, you’re dead. Got it?”

“Your secret’s safe with me,” I promise. “Thanks, Yukari.”