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Had a dream that one of my online friends of two years showed up at my house at like 5 in the morning and the next day we went into town and we saw weird al yankovic talking to a guy that looked JUST LIKE HIM but he was the version from the 80s. And then the doppelganger road away on his bike and got shot
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There is a fatass lump in my mouth. I'm going to have a hypochondriac freakout in 5 fucking seconds
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I forgot I have to pick what I want to do forever Now
#but im not super talented in any specific area. what am i supposed to do#minutely paralyzing#i dont think theres anything i like doing anymore#ok do i want to do smth with linguistics or bioengineering
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I love how most of the mythical Pokemon aren't that strong, they're just called mythical bc they're seen like once in a century and they're so rare that almost nobody believes they actually exist.
Imagine you're Ash's mom and your 10 year old calls you and tells you that they just fought and captured your world's equivalent of Bigfoot with a mouse. What would you do
#i dont think ash ever actually catches any mythical pokemon but like#he HAS had lengthy interactions and conversations with multiple#he just casually meets bigfoot and nessie every other month#AND HE ACTUALLY HAS FOUGHT ALIENS BTW. FOUGHT AND CAUGHT#not mythical but he has also fought the literal pokemon devil
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Teenage lesbian situationship (rips my hair out)
#“dude if you were a boy id get with you so fast” ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING#never recovering. she said she loved me a week ago#i cant do this to myself im too cool to suffer through this
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Writhing on the ground I am in hell right now
#this is going to be tmi btw#uhh anyways theres something wrong with me to where my body is all screwed up so i only have like one period a year#and youd think that would be so great#and youd be right for most of the year#except that since everything has built up for a year it feels like im having fucking contractions because#my body needs to Get That Shit Out Right Now all at once#like “laying on the floor with a barf bag. in a puddle of my sweat. whining bc i cant move” contractions#its so great for most of the year but the 2% is a nightmare and i dokt think its worth it. at all.
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I would get a restraining order so fast if someone talked to me the way they talk to whoever they're singing about in the fob songs.
#“why dont you show me a little bit of spine youve been saving for his mattress? i only want sympathy in the form of you#crawling into bed with me“#BLOCKED#ill be fr this song isnt that bad but they do get worse#it sounds so good though so idc
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There are some people that I want to shake to death because I don't know how they can be SO STUPID about the people they're dating or have crushes on
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People saying "I love you" was such a foreign thing to me until like two years ago. Not once had one of my friends ever told me that they loved me until then and then suddenly people started saying it all the time over like the littlest things. Seriously the first time one of my friends told me that they loved me I freaked out because I thought something was wrong or they were dying
#very strange to hear non family members say i love you#not unpleasant!! just unusual#to me#and now people say it all the time#which is great its just confusing#bc i havent really done anything for them when they say it i could literally just be sitting next to them
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Sometimes I think a little too hard and I remember that I could die at any moment and I really don't want to be the kid that everyone knows somehow that died in highschool so I just like. Don't leave my house for a few days
#but then i have to look at myself and go “you are regressing get the fuck outside”#maybe this is a little too vulnerable for the internet#um#hm#im doing great this hasnt happened recently#i just remembered why i dont like to think too hard about my future#bc its absolutely not guaranteed and i live in a state with a lot of car crashes and shootings#so#any day now
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I THOUGHT IT WAS MONDAY FOR A TERRIBLE FIVE SECONDS
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Not to give people tmi but I have to go to the doctor tomorrow and I'm freaking out about it because I HATE the doctor and it's first thing in the morning. They draw some blood and it makes me feel like crap and then four weeks later they say they can't find anything and just. Whatever I hate going
#the reason why isnt even that big of a deal#you can live without a period#im pretty happy without it#but NO i just have to have it#everyone wants me to be as miserable as they are when they get theirs#i mean i GET my period#once a year#so#thats normal enough for me#thats one too many times actually#“but joel youll never be able to have kids. youre basically infertile rn”#GOOD#do i seem like i would be a good parent#no#look at the bright side#i have a 99% chance of beating teen pregnancy 🎉#think of the positives
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I wish I could go back in time and tell the me from 4 months ago to stand up
#i listened to a song i havent heard since then and i remembered#being hung up on someone is so embarrassing in hindsight#and i had to make it everyones problem
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I so desperately need people to stop telling me I have a mustache. I KNOW!! THERES NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT!! IT GROWS BACK TOO FAST!!
#i know im not supposed to be able go grow one#i know youre jealous of my bomb ass mustache#i know that youve never seen a more fem presenting person with a mustache irl before#but i wish you would keep it to yourself#because i cant do jack shit about it
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I think that I shouldn't draw stuff bc any time I do ANYTHING I get like on the verge of an anxiety attack all of the next day
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I forgot that people can tell where you live by how you speak
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