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Angry Ex

I know when my ex is ticked off because his nice screen fades and he release his discovery of a new clever way to put me in my place. I drive over an hour to take my children out for tea as he's moved them to another city further reducing my contact. A decision he made after I managed to get a contact order in place for shared care. You can guess he wasn't happy when I stood strong. Sometimes it is just like being on a merry go round and someone is spinning you until your sick. Just a snippet (insight we are four years on the merry go round)... Here's what I get after my 3 hour round trip: Hi Xxx, Three times on the trot now you have returned the boys half an hour late. It's not fair that you are treating our agreement with such disregard. Also not having the courtesy to let me know you will be late seems rude, not to mention encouraging them to laugh in response to my texts. If this is to continue then we will have to come to an alternative arrangement. Perhaps it's easier than the boys return home after school, eat and do homework before you take them out. Thanks, Xxxx **I don't often stand up to him, but I'm at that point where I'm fed up of his lies and the way when he's angry about something unrelated he decides to flex his punishing muscles towards me...so I reply. Hi xxxx, The boys were late on one occasion and we informed you via text as soon as we anticipated it (after the restaurant burnt the pizzas) and it was only 20mins after 6:30pm, the time you would like them to be home by. Things happen and you were very open to this in court but surprise surprise we're out of court and you want to dictate again. As for the 'haha' to your text it was presumed your reply was a joke as we were half way through a sit down meal and you suggested take out! Who can tell when your joking and when your not ;-) **(you would have to see previous emails from him to understand my meaning to this). Whilst we are on the matter, the time xxxx (his girlfriend) turned up early to collect the children before I knew she was going to turn up early and then threatened me, 'if I don't follow the rules we'll take more time off you.' Out of order by the way and duly noted. The weekday contact stands as it is. I'm not in agreement to change it or follow your dictation on this matter. It's a better way of life if we don't communicate more than we have to. You don't tell me anything useful like xxxx parents evening or the children's new doctors just contact when you've got something negative or disruptive to add into the mix. I am not your outlet to release on and stop putting unnecessary pressure on the children. I shall email you next midweek dates after the half term holiday. Thank you, Xxx His GF has given up work so she is now on hand to collect the children from school also and this is being used as a new factor. As before on mid-week contact days I would collect directly from school. This was also based upon advice from my local women's centre and solicitor. This is the second attempt at putting a wedge between myself the schools, attempts to break down another valuable relationship. I'm posting and venting for those that recognise this happening to them or even similar behaviour. Break the silence, break the control!

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Start in the middle...

My situation is classed as unique. I put 'unique' as a word in the same category as special, magical, quirky, something people search for, want for? I've even been told it's a result of equality, this is not the sort of equality women have been spending years working towards nor men for that matter. Either way you look at it, it's anything but equal. I am a mother who lives without her children, even that sentence doesn't ring right. I am a mother who misses her children every single day more than they will ever realise. There aren't many people who would fully understand my situation but I'm convinced there are some who fear it could happen to them. I know I used to fear closing the door on the toxic relationship under the threat of having my children taken away from me and true enough I was right to have that fear but I stand firm in my actions that I was right to leave that relationship. Here I am in a modern out of balance world trying to make sense of every trial I have take part in to be Mum. My blog is my outlet, some people might relate and some might not but talking is key, silence enables all that is wrong to continue.