ooodles-o-dooodles

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

Watched the horrible minecraft movie trailer </3 My friends and I decided to make this stupid thing while suffering Bingo to find out how bad that movie is actually going to be

@a-witch-in-a-dumpster thank you for half the ideas <3

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

this is beautiful

ALPHABET SOUP

"Hey, Lyds?" Beej said from the doorway. "Can I ... can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Lydia put her book down and sat up on the bed. "What is it?"

Beej looked down at his feet, his hair turning magenta. "I, uh ... I was wondering ..." He blew out his cheeks in a long sigh. "I was just ... uhh, can you ... I mean, it's not important, but ... would you ..." He shook his head. "No, never mind," he said. "Sorry to bother you. It's a dumb idea." He turned to leave.

Lydia, concerned, quickly got to her feet and went over to him, and she put a hand on his shoulder and gently turned him around to face her. "Hey, what's up?"

The demon shook his head again. "It doesn't matter -- it's not important."

"It's important enough that you came to ask me," she said. "I'm your friend, Beej. I'm your little sister. If you need something, you can ask."

Beej nodded. "Yeah, I-I know." He took a deep breath. "Can you ... can you teach me how to read?"

Lydia smiled as she gathered him in her arms, hugging him tightly. After a moment she released him and put both hands on his shoulders. "Of course I will," she said. "At least I can try -- I've never taught anybody to read before."

He smiled self-consciously, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"Can I ask you something?"

Beej nodded.

"How come you never learned? I mean, you're like six hundred years old -- and I know you know the alphabet. Or at least the names of the letters, even if you don't know what order they're in."

Beej shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "I tried, but ... it's just so hard. I-it doesn't make sense to me. I mean, how can a mark on a piece of paper represent a sound?"

"You know how to draw, right? How can a picture represent a thing?"

"That's different," he said. "You use your eyes to see both the thing and the picture. And the picture looks like the thing -- at least, it's supposed to. But words and letters don't look like what they sound like -- sounds don't look like anything, do they? And sometimes words aren't spelled the way you think they should be. It's just waaay too complicated."

"You're right," Lydia said. "It's not easy. But it's not impossible. I'll ... pick up some kids' books at the library on my way home from school tomorrow, and we can get started."

The demon smiled shyly. "Okay," he said. "And Lydia? Thanks."

She hugged him again. "Hey, you're my BFFFF -- how can I say no?"

*****

"All right," Lydia said. "Let's start with the alphabet. Do you know the song?"

"What song?" Beej asked.

"The Alphabet Song."

Beej shook his head. "Never heard of it."

"It's an easy way to remember the order of the letters."

"Okay," Beej said, looking dubious. "And why is that important?"

Lydia's brow furrowed. "I'm not sure, exactly. But everyone learns the song in kindergarten."

"Wait, what? You breathers learn stuff and you don't even know why it's important?"

"It's probably important -- they just don't tell us why." She thought for a moment. "Well, it's important for using dictionaries -- every dictionary has the same order, so you can find what you want easily."

"Okay, yeah -- that makes sense, I guess."

Lydia smiled, pleased that she had been able to come up with a plausible reason that satisfied the demon.

"All right," she said. "So this is the Alphabet Song." She began to sing in her soft, clear voice. Beej closed his eyes and listened, smiling and nodding to the beat.

"Okay," she said when she'd finished. "Now let's sing it together -- and no cheating."

"Hey, I don't cheat!"

"I mean you can't pick up on my thoughts like you do when you're jamming with Dewey. You have to try to remember the song on your own, okay?"

"Okay, okay," Beej scowled. "You know, you're one tough cookie."

"You got that right, pal," she grinned. "All right -- ready?"

Beej nodded.

Lydia began the song anew, and this time the demon joined in. He stumbled several times, but Lydia was happy that he did -- it meant that he wasn't reading her mind.

"That was hard," Beej said when it was over.

"It gets easier, I promise."

"Yeah, I know," he smiled, his hair bright green.

"Okay," she said. "Now you sing it by yourself."

His hair flashed magenta. "I-I ... I don't ..." he stammered.

"Come on -- you can do it. And it's okay if you make a mistake -- that's how learning works, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Okay." And he began the song, his raspy voice quavering. He got as far as "E", and then a look of panic crossed his face. "Umm ... uhhh ..."

"It's okay," Lydia said gently, putting her hand on his. "Take your time."

He squeezed his eyes shut, and Lydia could almost see smoke coming out of his ears.

"F! " he shouted. "F is next!"

Lydia grinned. "Very good! Okay, keep it going."

Emboldened, Beej continued the song. "G, H, I, M, Q --"

"Let's try again," Lydia said. "What comes after 'I'?"

"Uhh ... I don't know," the demon replied. He screwed up his face in frustration, his hair becoming a mix of purple and red. "I can't remember!"

"It's okay," Lydia told him. "Just slow down and take your time. You can do this -- you sang it with me just before. Don't overthink it -- you can remember if you just let it come."

Beej nodded and took a deep breath. "Okay, yeah," he said. "Uhh ... G, H, I ... J! 'J' comes after 'I' 'cause it has that little tail!" He grinned happily, his hair green once more, and started to sing again. "H, I, J, K ... uhh ..."

"This is the fun part," Lydia prompted.

"Oh, yeah -- I remember! LMNOP! Umm ... uh ... oh! Q, R, S, T, U, V ... uhh ... a double chocolate fudge cake just for me!"

Lydia laughed. "Now you're just being silly!"

Beej grinned. "Just tryna lighten things up a little. W, X, Y and Z. Now I know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with me. I did it! "

Lydia applauded him. "You did -- I'm very proud of you."

Beej's hair turned cotton-candy pink. "Thanks," he said.

"Okay," Lydia said. "Now for the reading part." She picked up a slim book. On the cover was a red "A" beside an apple, a blue "B" with a bee, and a green "C" on a chair. She opened the book and patted the bed.

Beej sat down beside her, looking at the page.

"Okay," Lydia said. "What's this letter?"

"A," the demon said.

Lydia nodded.

"Uhh ... why do letters have two shapes?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, look at it -- there's this big one with straight lines, and then there's this little curvy one. I know they're the same letter, but I don't get why there's two ways to write it."

"I ... I really don't know," she admitted. "I never thought about it. But that's a really good question."

Beej grinned, happy that he'd stumped his BFFFF -- she'd outwitted him time and time again, and he had a sneaking suspicion that she thought he wasn't very smart. But he'd come up with a question that not only couldn't she answer, but had never even thought of!

"Anyway, A is for ..." she began, pointing to the drawing beside the letter.

"Apple," Beej answered. "Why is it called 'A' if it's pronounced 'ah'? Why not call it 'Ah'? Or why not say 'aypple' instead of 'apple'?"

Lydia looked at him. "Well, uh ... letters can represent different sounds. 'A' can be pronounced 'ay' or 'ah' or 'aw' --"

"That's stupid," the demon said. "Why not just make a different letter for each sound? Seems to me like that would make reading easier."

"Yeah, you're right -- it would," she admitted.

"That's why reading is so hard for me. It doesn't make any sense."

Lydia chuckled. "It doesn't, does it? But that's the way it is, so we just have to go with it." She smiled gently. "I guess this was the best people could come up with."

Then a thought occurred to her. "Can you read Netherworld writing?"

Beej shook his head, his hair turning purple. "My mom said that I wouldn't be able to learn to read since I was so stupid and useless. She said that it would ... it would be a waste of time to try and teach me." He began to cry softly.

Lydia's heart broke a little. "Well, she was wrong," she said firmly. "You're not stupid and useless -- you just came up with two questions that I've never even thought of! That's not something a stupid and useless person would be able to do." She set the book aside and took his face in her hands. "I promise that I'm going to teach you to read -- no matter how long it takes, okay? We'll show her!"

Beej chuckled through his tears. "She's dead, remember? I killed her for good."

"Then we'll show everybody else." She picked up the book again. "Now, let's continue, shall we?"

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

wait

Doodles

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

ow

my singing voice is good for showers and mornings in the kitchen and drunken nights and lullabies for babies who need sleep and im okay with this

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

hello little beej would you like to have a pb&j? don't worry, ik you don't like crusts

Ill be out for a bit..can yall watch him while I'm gone?

Thanks..don't worry he has all his shots

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

rb to stare at a mutual like this:

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...

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

BEETLEJUICE (1988) dir. Tim Burton

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

WHOEVER MADE THAT GODFORSAKEN "A DEAL W A DEMON" BEETLEJUICE FIC NEEDS TO UPDATE RN (no pressure) BECAUSE HOLY FUCK

The world building is... like... top fucking notch. I'm not even being exaggeratey I'm LITERALLY OBSESSED.

the premise is, you are a fem!witch (which usually i read gn or male fics, but holy fuckballs) who bought a spellbook that regular non magicky people thought was a halloween decoration, and you accidentally summon beetlejuice, who in this world is a sex demon

yes it's smut. but listen

the first deal you two make is if you two fuck, he can go out into the world for, i think it's like 3 days or smth, details don't matter, idfc

so you fuck, obviously

you end up driving past a shop that says his name three times on the front fucking window, so you check it out

it's a motherfucking sex shop i kid you not

so you go back home and summon him again, and you figure out an agreement- you take care of the marketing part of his company so the head witch cover thing doesn't find out you summoned a demon bc that's illegal, and he does his thing and doesn't rat you out.

basically it's amazing and the dialogue is so funny and i legit laugh out loud at some parts and i'm constantly kicking my feet and giggling bc it's so silly

also it's musical!juice coded, i think it is legitimately meant for the musical fans

ANYWAY GO CHECK IT OUT

creds to @somedaylazysomeday for the fic

MINORS DNI PLEASE

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

chat sometimes I forget that my wife plays lydia but there she is. in the flesh. Winona Ryder. God, what a woman

BEETLEJUICE (1988) dir. Tim Burton

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

Beetlejuice (1988) dir. Tim Burton

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

office au dynamic

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“ummmmm ur bra strap is showing :/ ”

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I miss him

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 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

wsg chat i'm backkk

also

you fuckers have GOT to stop liking this, it might become popular and then people will, like, see it or something 😨

[ooodles-o-dooodles]

happy beetlejuice beetlejuice day to all those who celebrate 🪲👻