oofitscaitlin - Tumblr blog

[oofitscaitlin]

Shout out to Wikipedia for explaining the plot of a musical to me when I’m too lazy to listen to all the songs

[oofitscaitlin]

I love this video way too much.

HE JUST FCKING SCREAMS I-

[oofitscaitlin]

STORYTIME #1

OKAY YA’LL SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED TO ME AND IM ABOUT TO GO BEAT A BITCH’S ASS EXCUUSE ME.

Anyways here’s the full story because I am PISSED:

Okay so I was swimming in a public pool having a GREAT time until these girls from New Zealand swam near me. They were whispering to each other REAL LOUD saying things like “Oh my god look at her hair it’s so gross” and “Ew look at her”, obviously talking about me. So then they were like “Oi girl” and kept repeating that over and over again. I ignored them because I didn’t want to deal with them but then they were like “Are you deaf? I think she’s got mental issues.” 

So THEN I turned around and I was like “Okay what the fuck do you want?” And they were like “How’s life when you’re that ugly?” Now I don’t like to call people ugly because it’s rude but you could tell that they were ugly on the inside so yeah they were REALLY UGLY. So I was like to myself ‘Speak for yourself.” But I didn’t say that out loud. Then I looked at them adn I was like “How does it feel to be a fatass?” And they were like “Bitch do you want to fight us?” And I was like “Honey let me take off my EARRINGS.” Just note that this whole time, my brother was RIGHT NEXT TO ME.

SO then I was looked around and there was a lifeguard coming towards us, obviously hearing us yelling. So I did what I do best. I started to fake cry and act as if they were harassing me WHICH THEY WERE SO I DIDN’T FEEL EVEN THE TINIEST BIT BAD. So then the lifeguard was like “Oi girls where’s your guardian, you need to come with me.” And as they followed him they were like “Fuck you.” And all I did was give them a fake ass smile and do what I call a little evil bitch finger wave.

AND THAT’S MY STORY THANK YOU FOR LISTENING.

[oofitscaitlin]

Oof.