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This is amazingly perfect

Credit to Black Nerd Comedy

[onlythxworthy]

shadowhunters sentence starters

"Passion makes you dangerous."

"You have an interesting effect on people"

"We break noses and accept consequences."

"You're like a yippy dog"

"Same old judgmental mom with me."

"Never trust a people who can't lie. They find much more inventive ways to stab you in the back."

"You love me? So? I love you too"

"Playing hard to get? I love a challenge."

"I know you can color outside the lines. You're just not letting yourself think that way."

"Well, that was a window to the weird."

"Life is not what you want to do; it's about what must be done."

"Emotions are nothing but a distraction. You're ruled by them."

"Is he more of a flower or cologne man?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Does he normally lay like that without moving?"

"You don't know the half of it."

"With a body like yours, everything's your color."

"Someone's looking badass."

"I don't know how to explain this. I think these are my people."

"You don't get to talk to me, Captain America"

"Let them come after us. They'll just turn into a bunch of fried eggs out here."

"You know you'd be a lot happier if you weren't so fricken repressed."

"Check out that guy. He's got something on him."

"The living are so exhausting."

"Are you that desperate to get laid that you'd risk killing us?"

"I don't need a spokesman. I need a plan."

"I've seen every horror movie ever made, and the funny best friend who gets left behind? Dead man."

"For someone so old, you're not too wise, are you?"

"Are you kidding? I was born afraid, which sounded a lot better in my head."

"Don't tell me you are afraid?"

"You might be some kind of emotionless G.I. Joe, but..."

"It's a shame, really, denying them all this."

"I'm turning 18. It's not like I'm heading on some epic journey."

"Everything's going to change for you now."

"How could someone as smart and perceptive as you not realize the person sitting right there is in love with you?"

"Maybe I'm pissed that she's ruined the mission."

"I'm not saving his ass twice!"

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I would die for Batman. I know he wouldn’t let me but I’d still do it

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REACTION MEME: Bruised and Broken Version

undefined

“Woah, when did you get that?”

“Who did this to you?”

“How many time have I told you to be more careful?”

“You’re saying this was an accident?”

“What a shiner!”

“If you look like this, I’d hate to see the other guy.”

“I’m not buying it, you don’t walk into a door and get a bruise like that!”

“Does it hurt when I touch it?”

“Let me kiss it better.”

“If you don’t rest, you won’t heal.”

“Another fight?”

“What happened to your face?”

“I don’t think your arm is meant to bend like that…”

“Let’s get you to bed.”

“Let’s get you to the hospital.”

“Why are you so calm about this?”

“You’re bleeding!”

“What are friends for, ey?”

“So, instead of helping you, they ran off the moment they saw what was happening?”

“You need to look where you’re going.”

“I’m not accusing anyone, I’m just saying it looks suspicious.”

“Do you want to tell me what really happened?”

“Don’t move! You’ll faint!”

“I’ve got some bandages, wait a sec.”

“You’re the clumsiest person I know.”

“I won’t let you be on your own, not when you’re like this.”

“How could you be so careless?”

“I can’t even look at you, you promised not to get into any more fights!”

“H-how many of them were there?”

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❛ history of japan ❜ starter meme

So I saw this video for the first time and I’m trash so take this and enjoy it. (Or not. That’s cool). Feel free to change/add/whatever anything to make it fit. Blanks mean “insert your word here” I guess.

‘ Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s B E A U T I F U L. ’

‘ It’s b e a u t i f u l. ’ 

‘In the year negative a billion ______ might not have been here. ’

‘ And now there’s lots of trees. Because it’s warmer. ’

‘ They’re basically hanging out in between the mountains, eating nuts off trees. ’ 

‘ Ding dong, it’s the outside world. ’

‘ They have technology from the future. Like really good metal. And crazy rice farms. ’

‘ That means that if you own the farm, you own the food, which is something everybody needs to survive. So that makes you King. ’

‘ A heavenly super person, or Emperor for short. ’

‘ Knock, knock. Get the door. It’s religion. ’

‘ Please try this religion. ’

‘ Then the government was taken over by another clique. ’

‘ Can you call us something else, other than dipshit? ’

‘ How about ‘Sunrise Land’? ’

‘ They conquered the north, finally. Get that squared away. ’

‘ They really didn’t give a shit about running a country. ’

‘ How are you supposed to protect your shit from criminals? ’

‘ Hire a samurai. ’

‘ Everyone started hiring a samurai. ’

‘ Correction: rich people hired a samurai. ’

‘ They let the Emperor still be “Emperor”. ’

‘ Breaking news: The Mongols have invaded _____. ’

‘ We’ve invaded _____. Please respect us, or else we might invade you as well. ’

‘ So the ______ came over, ready for war, and died in a tornado. ’

actually a Typhoon

‘ And the Emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants. That’s fine. ’

‘ It’s time for Who’s Going to be the Next Shogun? ’

‘ So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk. ’

‘ Everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. ’

‘ Knock knock, it’s Europe. ’

‘ No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. ’ 

‘ Like clocks, and guns, and Jesus. ’

‘ Now I’m going to invade Korea and then hopefully China, he said. And failed. And also died. ’

‘ A lot of people support him. But a lot of people support not supporting him. ’

‘ No one can leave and no one can come in. Except the _____. ’

‘ Knock knock. It’s the United States. ’

‘ Somehow made the Emperor the Emperor again. ’

‘ And you know what else is western? That’s right, conquering stuff. ’

‘ Stop, no, you can’t take that. We were going to build a railroad through here to try and get some warm water. ’

‘ Can you maybe chill? ’

(scared of russia)

‘ ___ make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. ’

[You’ve got mail].

‘ im interested in taking over the world, and i was wondering if you could be my friend. ’

(1) new war request.

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first meeting starters

1: "I think I may have seen you before..."

2: "Hey! Watch it!"

3: "Oh my god are you okay?"

4: "Have we met...?"

5: "Were you at that one party?"

6: "Remember me?"

7: "I know you don't know me but I love your shirt."

8: "Quick, pretend to look like you're talking to me."

9: "Hey, is that your dog?"

10: "Service takes forever here."

11: "Don't mean to sound cliche, but do you come here often?"

12: "I wouldn't sit there if I were you."

13: "This is gonna be a long plane ride."

14: "Can you turn that music down?"

15: "People are trying to sleep!"

16: "I'm your new neighbour."

17: "Is that who I think it is?"

18: "Be quiet!"

19: "Is that your son/daughter?"

20: "I've read about you."

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                      She has

                                       power in her walk and

                                                                lightning in her eyes

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   “Humans do the strangest things.” Eyes glimmer gold with amusement as she shakes her head.

        “I do not understand why they find this so entertaining.”

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Put a rumor you heard about my muse in my ask and they'll confirm or deny it.

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   “It’s simply a scratch, I assure you I’ve endured much worse in the past.”

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;;starter call

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                      She has

                                       power in her walk and

                                                                lightning in her eyes

[onlythxworthy]

                      She has

                                       power in her walk and

                                                                lightning in her eyes

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   Brow raised, she studies his face and can find no sign that he is joking {or lying, but he assumes he has no reason to do so}. And it would explain many things.

                “You share my name?”

      She has seen many strange things during her time in this form, and hard tales of things much stranger. Surely it is possible that he is part of her previous nature as well. Or maybe when the weapon appearance had faded, instead of simply transforming, she had been...split somehow.

     “Many things are possible, as I am learning more and more every day.”  She finally states, “Though I’m unsure of how it has happened, I can feel your words are true.“ {Also that he may be just as confused as she is.} “And if that is the case, then that makes us, kin?”

   The word feels strange on her tongue, she doesn’t have any real family, nor has it crossed her mind that she ever would.

          “I wonder, just how alike we are.” 

Brunette brows scrunched together to form a tight line, lips curling to form a slightly perplexed expression. Had… Had she just said she was MJOLNIR? Because that could not P O S S I B L Y be right… HE is Mjolnir, not her. Unless….

“How is that possible…” he muttered aloud, more speaking to himself than the being before him. Sure there had been many other SOULS bunched together within the slab of Uru used as a weapon of destruction, but he couldn’t remember there ever being another one let out into the realms. 

                  Then he shook his head, letting out a confused laugh.                            “This is unbelievably strange, for I am Mjolnir as well.”

[onlythxworthy]

Lame-o things I've said - RP Meme

cause all of these are super ridiculous and questionable out of context

“I think the tree is drunk.”

“Do the McDonalds thing”

“Want some salt?”

“Salt contains salt.”

“I don’t live here.”

“There’s a ghost cat”

“The door is crying”

“Why did I wake up to Christmas music?”

“I hate you. Do you believe I’m (muse name) now?”

“I can’t listen to Lava without thinking the girl volcano is conceited”

“Middle schoolers are too uppity. And energetic. And need to be silenced.”

“Don’t you just have to throw clothes in a bag?”

“Its not even sexual. But oddly still sexual.”

“CLOTHES. CLOTHES. ARE GETTING OFF.”

“I love me.”

“Hurting is my way of loving”

“I’ll do anything for watermelon smoothies.”

“Want me to spoil Star Wars? It ends… in a staring contest.”

“You did fabulous on your pancake test!”

“Puppy doggys are good”

“If a pizza guy can’t deliver to a parking lot then I’m pretty sure they can’t find the house.”

“Gotta live wildly while you can”

“We’ll figure it out as we go. Isn’t that how adventuring works?”

“Also, you’re on bail money duty”

“Something about murdering and birds and cops and donuts and bubble tea”

“They’re cookies made with hate.”

“Worship the almighty god hand!”

“Can I AXEW a question? I know you didn’t ask FURRET and aren’t SEAKING this but I wanted to tell you that I ABSOLutely LAVA you!”

“Aww, that blood splotch is shaped like a heart.”

“I’m afraid of cupcakes”

“I traded it for creampuffs”

“The magical no sleep powers are turning into vampirism at this point.”

“Those are the Mario boos that people are buying at Target.”

“I don’t know why people would want Mario ghosts”

“This puzzle apparently breaks bras”

“Did you know the sun is super burning hot?!”

“I saw ‘frizzle’ and immediately thought of Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus”

“Such a shame that you can’t rob banks anymore”

“Baking an expired cheesecake can’t be that bad, right?”

“We should totally get a 1000 piece puzzle and solve it together.”

“I want you to at least watch this movie before you die or go to jail.”

“At least my babies don’t kill people!”

*smashes face on you*

“Chickens can fly?”

“Hmm… How does one climb a tree.”

“I can’t wait to jump into an active volcano”

“I would hope the fireworks are in the sky.”

“Can we call the police for disruption of the peace?”

“I want a plain shaved ice.”

“THAT SNOWFLAKE YO.”

“I’m wearing a shirt.”

“Hello we- One moment. Hi again.”

[text]: SEE THAT CAPSLOCK?! THAT TOTALLY MEANS CHILL

“I am the greatest person ever.”

“I’m judging you.”

“I’m a goofy, awkward mess”