onewithturtles

[onewithturtles]

Can I please have a cappuccino but with oat milk and a big pump of sugarfree chocolate syrup and... Lol I remember your stupid ass from 2,300 years ago. We were living in seleucis on the tigris river during the same span of summers... do you rememver a red ibis bird with beautiful plumes? Yeah U were a sort of dull brown goat that didn't train and dint make milk or kids. Yeah? No? Eventually the Zoroastrian homesteaders who owned you started feeding you contaminated barley to try and kill you lol. Maybe you remember the ergotism? Anyway. also I want one of these 🫵stupid little breads in the case

[onewithturtles]

so the BBC accidentally said the UK consumes 4.7 kilograms of cocaine per person per day

[onewithturtles]

moodboard for jojo characters who look busted as shit

[onewithturtles]

[onewithturtles]

clutching my cursed eye and gritting my teeth because of its unspeakable power and for some reason it makes people around me dim the lights

[onewithturtles]

Squirts my T gel directly into this persons eyes, blinding them due to its high alcohol content

[onewithturtles]

OP's pronouns are she/they.

[onewithturtles]

dear universe give me ten billion dollars and infinite free time and indestructible hands so i can do every hobby ever

[onewithturtles]

Hi everyone! Here's your Daily Reminder to Click for Palestine!

And if you can spare a dollar, donate to ANERA!

[onewithturtles]

girl what about the humans

[onewithturtles]

[onewithturtles]

ranking the best things I have had heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

"Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

(spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

[okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: ""[xxx], "Please remember that the patient is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

[another procedure where the patient couldn't be anaesthetised] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

[onewithturtles]

fairy posting "just blasted absolute rope 🥴" on her NSFW blog and then appending a photo of a crystalline dewdrop rested on the tip of the smallest blade of grass in the field

[onewithturtles]

It's live. 50 USD, or 60 for some Deluxe Edition.

[onewithturtles]

without a doubt this is the strongest indicator that we are swiftly heading to a recession

[onewithturtles]

not donald trump singlehandley uniting the world against america and encouraging mass boycotting

[onewithturtles]

Happy April 25th