omnipotent-octopus

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I’m not fine as in fine, but fine as in you don’t have to worry about me.

Dr. Gregory House  (via suspend)

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I’m not even sorry

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Ladies ;) if big muscles turn you on ;) you're going to be rather disappointed when you see me

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Story Time

Once when I was younger I was at my friend's house and we were playing tackle football on his trampoline. Well I tackled him really hard I guess and knocked him unconscious, me being six, I didn't know that and thought I killed him because I didn't know where to find a pulse and I couldn't hear him breathing. I got really scared because I didn't want to go to jail for killing him so I dragged him off the trampoline and pulled him under it. Then I got some blankets and laid it over his body and sat there really nervous. A half hour later he woke up and asked me why he was under the trampoline and covered in blankets. To this day he still doesn't remember me knocking him out.

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dennys is my number one reason to live and now you see why

Yes this exists why would we lie to you about a pancake-necked giraffe come on

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Idea for the 13th Doctor

What if the next Doctor after he starts dying and regenerates was unusually superstitious? Like: • Becomes uneasy around black cats • If he ever spills salt he throws it over his shoulder • Acts very careful around mirrors • Refuses to walk under ladders And best of all: • Will never say which regeneration of the Doctor he is, like if someone asks him he will never say the number, rather "Post-Twelve" or "Pre-Fourteen" or whatever Let's make this a thing guys

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goodnight dennys fam,

sweet memes ;)

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This one time at band camp

is the perfect way to start a story or post to make someone not want to pay attention or read it

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Proof that the University of Mount Union is Emo

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My friend and I are doing a school project. We are taking this whole thing as one big joke

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You my friend are a special kind of stupid

I accidentally stapled my thumb and now it looks like a lizard

I’m going to name it Ted

Me and Ted are friends now so I can’t wipe the blood off

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One time at track practice this kid was complaining about a stomach ache but coach made us sprint a lap and when he got done he looked to me and said "I think I crapped my pants" so he went to the bathroom, came back and confirmed that he did in fact crap his pants

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Actual conversation at track practice: Me: I have ADD Girl: What's ADD? Me: Do you know what ADHD is? Her: Yeah Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder Me: Okay now take away the Hyperactivity and that's ADD, I have ADD Her: Wait so what does ADD mean?

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When I was younger my cousins and I were about to have a water balloon fight but didn't have any water balloons so we filled some condoms I found in my brothers room with water