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They're always eating everything

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so one of the high school buses flipped over and this was the picture they used in the newspaper

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everything has political content. sorry. theres some guys who get really really angy when you say this but its true

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I’m crying my beautiful husband has wrapped the most limp wristed pathetic sickly blunt in the world

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real writers don’t have writer’s block because they never start writing in the first place.

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people often think i'm doing it for the bit but unfortunately i Am the type of guy who just says shit like "pray tell" and "indeed" and "naught but the human heart can hope to capture the moon's beauty" (that was actually about my shitty phone camera) and nobody really knows what to do when they hear those words come out of my mouth. myself included.

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Still one of my favorite things I've created

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a good way to inspire yourself to do more is to see yourself as the wacky sitcom B plot character in your friends lives, "wouldnt it be funny to tell the friends in my phone about it." has gotten me to do anything from going to a festival (excelent) to wild camping (it went badly) (coastguard called) to trying to get the train to stonehenge (stonehenge costs money so i ended up just getting lunch in sailsbury, it was okay.) i bought a bicycle today and 20% of my reasoning was "itd be funny to surprise my roommate by coming home with a whole bike." . life is for living. and baby i live for the bit.

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“tattoos are going out of style” they’ve been around for a thousand years im sorry you’re conservative now get well soon ig

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in primary school we had a creative writing assignment where we had to ‘write about a character in a new, strange situation!’ and i wrote about a squid that was somehow teleported from the ocean to the forest floor and slowly choked to death for two pages and i’ll never quite forget my teacher’s face because it turns out she wanted ‘this new school is scary, i hope i make friends!’ and not a graphic description of a squid dying

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Conservatives having a normal one

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hey sexy what time do you plan on being done grieving