ollie-bees

[ollie-bees]

The Empty is not cold, but Dean shivers anyway. The Empty is not hot, but nervous sweat runs down Dean’s back. The Empty is nothing, but Dean’s chest constricts and the air feels heavy and it chokes him with every breath. Dean hums off and on; notes of AC/DC and the thin gold strand wrapped around his waist are his only tethers to life—the only things to remind him there is another life to live. But Jack and Sam are waiting for him to get back, and his angel is waiting for him to come.

It seems to have been days since he started. He doesn’t know how time passes here.

When he finally reaches Castiel—really a body covered in a trenchcoat with the life stripped out of him—he pauses. He takes a moment to drink in the fact that a piece of Cas is here. When Cas had gone this time, it was with nothing left behind, not a body, not a trenchcoat, not even an angel blade. If this is the last time Dean is going to see him, he needs a minute to take it in.

But the clock is ticking and the forces of the world are watching, waiting for him to pass this trial.

Still tucked in the sleeve of the trenchcoat is Cas’s blade. Dean steadies his hand and swipes against Cas’s throat. The small bits of grace that were left float out and into the bottle in Dean’s other hand. When it’s all there, he shoves the lid on tight and sets it on dark ground.

When Cas’s eyes flutter open, Dean pulls him up, cradling the back of his head. When Cas’s eyes narrow, Dean squeezes his hand. When Cas’s eyes then widen with recognition, acknowledgement of what is happening, Dean pulls him close.

“Don't do that again,” he says.

And Castiel can’t speak.

“I’ll get you out of here.”

And Castiel can only nod.

“You have to trust me.”

Castiel pulls back. “Of course I trust you, Dean.”

Something like a tear forms in Dean’s eyes. “You have to follow me. You have to promise to follow me and trust me.” Deep breath in. “And you have to stay. You have to come back and then you have to stay.”

Cas nods, choked with desire and disbelief. “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”

And as much as Dean wants to say ‘forever then,’ he can only smile and pull Cas up.

“Okay.”

And then, once Cas is steady on his feet, Dean will turn around and start walking. He will walk and hear no footsteps behind him. But Cas said he would stay, so he must be there. And when Dean starts off, shaky in his steps but not looking back, Cas will follow. Dean will say nothing and his soul will feel far away. But Dean said he wants him to stay, so it must be true. Even after hours have passed and no words have been shared and all he wants to do is turn to see if Cas is there, Dean will keep walking. And Cas will follow.

The Fates themselves might stop to watch the march. The angels will pause their heavenly duties and the demons will halt their sinning in recognition of this test. The new Death might smile as she puts a book back on her shelf. The Empty itself might release its tendrils, sedated enough with the grace of a cracked angel and willing to give up the fight.

And when the portal is there and Dean steps through, he will let out the breath he has been holding in his chest. And with a gasp, he will begin to turn, to reach for the angel he knows is there. But Sam will grab him first, keep him facing forward until Cas is through and the portal is closed and the tragedy of the millennia is avoided.

Only then will Cas revel in his new humanity, in the golden light of the bunker, and let out a laugh of that true happiness. And Dean will turn and pull him close and bury his head in Cas’s shoulder as though there is no other place he should be.

[ollie-bees]

"Dean could be Orpheus and Castiel could be Eurydice," I say. No one claps. But then Misha Collins stands up and says, "She's right"