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i’ve heard the ammonite murmur (1992)

dir. by isao yamada

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Claudia talking to Louis while he's having sex with Lestat is still making me insane. How to better represent the complete absence of appropriate boundaries in rue royale. We all laugh at claudia' "two blood fat cocks" comment in s2 but in s1 she was fully having a conversation about how to kill lestat while he was balls deep in Louis. It's just another example of how enmeshed she is in Louis' sexual life despite his efforts to fulfill his protective roll at first (he's righteously upset at Lestat for first crossing that line by bringing her to the cruising spot to hunt and therefore being directly responsible for her sexual awakening).

Claudia's accusatory "which one of you is gonna fuck me" is not just a provocation, it's a sobbering and factually true assessment of her situation. The only times she explores sexuality outside of Louis' relationships (first with Lestat then with Armand), she is severely punished (first emotionally by lestat for Charlie's death then lethally by armand and the coven for the making of Madeleine). In her inability to make a companion or to control herself with humans, she fully depends on Louis for either direct sexual connection (talking to him while he's having sex with lestat or witnessing his fantasies of armand) or for the making of a sexual companion that she can safely engage with sexually (we see that she fears her lack of control around Madeleine's menstruation).

Incestuous dynamics truly are a product of isolation and lack of oversight that plague the nuclear family especially when they are as marginalized as the rue royale (a mixed race vampiric queer family) and later on claudia and louis as a single unit (codependent trauma bonded parent/child duo).

L'enfer c'est les autres, I'd even add l'enfer c'est la famille

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Pentiment (2022) dev. Obsidian Entertainment

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“Vengeance is bad for you” I’m not doing it for my health dude

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Later, it becomes February, and even later, spring returns, (…) I recognize the business of summer, which is to forge ahead, delicately. So I dip my fingers among the green stems, delicately. I lounge at the edge of the leafing pond, delicately. I scarcely remember the crust of the snow. I scarcely remember the icy dawns and the sun like a lamp without a fuse. I don’t remember the fury of loneliness. I never felt the wind’s drift. I never heard of the struggle between anything and nothing.

Mary Oliver, from “Crows”

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GANJA & HESS (1973) dir. BILL GUNN

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Hua Xi, from "The Past Still Needs Me"

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Came across this in a report at work

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Pádraig O' Tuama, from "Mother Brendan's Opening Words at Ash Wednesday Mass", Kitchen Hymns

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Galaxina (1980) // dir. William Sachs

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homeless guy tried stabbing me because I wouldnt give him a cigarette that I didn't have

YTA

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Franek Poremba - Enfants Riches Déprimés Spring 2025 Ready-To-Wear, Paris Fashion Week

source: amica.it

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Fragments of perfection | Elysian Fields