okfev

[okfev]

let's have some fun — ft. jason

A drunken giggle fled from a red-lipped grin plastered across Fev's chubby, glistening face. A dull ache thrummed in her cheeks from smiling so hard for such a long period of time; the smile -- as well as her stumbled footsteps -- stemmed from the alcohol in her system and the vast amount of time she'd been spending with Jason during the night, and even when sober, she laughed so hard that her ribs hurt around her best friend, so the feeling intensified with the liquor she had spent the entire night downing vigorously.

The pair of them skipped unevenly across the sidewalk from the apartment complex, arms slung around one anothers' shoulders as the laughter grew louder and louder between the two of the swaying friends clumped together closely. "Oh, oh, hey, hey, hey, Jason!" The brunette screeched over the slurred joke the boy was currently in the midst of cracking. "No, no, no, shu'up!" She demanded, sticking her tongue out at him. "Where we goin'?" She asked, with furrowed eyebrows as the realization hit her that they really had no destination.

[okfev]

Why were you typing "vagina" in the first place? I do feel you, I want a whole bunch of vaginas, -- like Scarlett Johansson's, for example -- but I can only half-help you there, because unfortunately, I only have one vagina, but you can have it for a few hours.

Just have to love the ‘swipe to text’ thing on my phone changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. It’s like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas.

[okfev]

@lmaofev: lol gross @jasonwhtf

[okfev]

Yeah, ew. I agree. Look at your slimy face. I feel like vomiting all over it just to make it more pleasant to look at. Eugh, bye. Go back to Orlando. Or, no, actually, I might come across you in Orlando. Go crawl back into Satan's uterus. Or hell. Whichever.

Ew. Damn it, the only good think about Jordan making me go back to Orlando is getting away from you. Hell, I would rather spend a week with him than you.

[okfev]

Oh, wow. There goes my good mood. Someday I'm going to crush your skull beneath my stilettos.

Did you know that there are 293 ways to make change for a dollar? Yep, that’s right. I’m back in business. I bet you all missed my glorious facts. Fret no more children, for I am here and my facts are better than ever.

[okfev]

I know this is a tricky subject with most people and all -- but are you depressed or something? 'Cause that'd be nice for a day or two, but not for the rest of my days. Like, c'mon. It gets to a certain point where I wanna stick my tongue down a stranger's throat and party my little butt off, or renew my pretty little tan and take a dip in the ocean, man.

'Dunno if it's just me, but I'd be more than happy to stay under the warm sheets of my bed for the rest of my days. Sounds like the ideal life for me.

[okfev]

So, I got fired recently, and since unemployment, I've basically been spending all of my free time at the gym or trying to get myself a girlfriend, or at least a drunken hookup with some fair-haired babe, so that my glass is at least half-full, y'know? Unfortunately, today I woke up so sore that I couldn't even move an inch because of all of the working out I've been doing, under my personal trainer's supervision, so I googled if that was normal, and some people on Yahoo! answers said that it was, indeed, not normal at all. They were qualified doctors and everything. So I tracked down my personal trainer and tried to run her over for attempted murder. Long story short, I have a lawsuit hanging over my head and fourty dollars to my name. Time to put these three holes of mine to use.

[okfev]

You know, Janice, it's things like this that make me so upset and cry for the sad little life you lead. Why are you telling people this, man? Why? Why? Why? Why does your room smell like dirty socks that you haven't washed since two thousand and three?

S’kinda hard to lay off the Xbox once you’ve started, to be completely honest. A true example of a socialite’s lifestyle would be spending a whole day avoiding everyone ‘cause he got his hands on Ghosts. —An even better example, however, is that the temptation to eliminate all contact with others again the following day ‘cause of the same video game. Wow - I’m in too deep, write a fuckin’ story about it. Geek squad unite. 

[okfev]

A used condom? I have to say, I'm a little surprised. I thought you were a virgin or something. Must be the face.

There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper. Don’t ask me, it was a very long, weird night.

[okfev]

Why would anyone bang on a wall repeatedly? I really don't think that's what they're doing. It's probably a headboard.

Whoever is banging on the wall needs to shut the fuck up.

[okfev]

We could talk about how cute your laugh is. Or how deep I sound when I'm being bullied. Apart from the whole, "drown your kid" thing.

I honestly have no idea how to reply to this.

[okfev]

Yeah, man. I mean, do you really wanna suffer seeing the same child you dislike every single Goddamn day of your life? Just get it over with and kill 'em already, easiest way out. Nah, I'm kidding. Maybe. I don't know, I've never had a kid that I hate.

If you hate your kid drown ‘em?

[okfev]

People make zero sense. I mean, I'm not trying to generalize or anything, even though I kind of am, but seriously. I have come across very  few people who make sense. Like, why do so many people hide so many things from other people? If you like someone, tell them. If you don't, tell them. I mean, it really doesn't matter either way. Your opinion isn't going to change someone's life. They're not going to think, "oh, hey, so and so don't like me, so I'm going to completely change myself". If you don't like your job, quit and find a new one. If you hate your kid, drown 'em. What I'm trying to say is, I've known both of my roommates for my entire life, and I don't understand why they've been hiding a porn magazine and video tape stash from me. We could've all bonded over it, y'know? Porn Movie Night with The Three Muskateers. But no. They decided to hide it from me. I've never felt more left out in my entire life. Except for that one time I participated in a threesome with a heterosexual couple.

[okfev]

❝ TASK ONE ❞ ↝ questionnaire.

FAMILY + ORIGINS —

What is your full name?

Fevrian Gemma Bonheur. Guess my dad got fed up of inventing unique names for me, ‘cause there’s nothing particularly cool about ‘Gemma’, but hey, Fevrian makes up for it.

Do you have any nicknames?

Ooh, tons. Fev, Fevveroni, Favevagina, Fevagina, Fevvy, and the list goes on. My personal favorite is “Fave Boner”. Nobody calls me that here, but it was given to me freshman year when I gave three guys handjobs during third period gym. This, of course, was before I realized that I didn’t like pee-pees.

What is your relationship with your family like?

It’s pretty great. I was bought up with five brothers — three of ‘em are older, two younger — and one father. We’re all super close and all that good stuff, even though each of us has a different mother. It’s kinda hard to explain that bit. Like, my dad has this thing where he feels the need to fix “broken” women, but he never can, so they leave him. I don’t know. It’s complicated. My relationship with him is a little strained right now, too, ‘cause he used to be this raging alcoholic, then he stopped, then he continued recently. I’d take care of him and everything, but one day, things got out of hand, and I decided that was that. Eh, whatever.

Do you ever want a family of your own someday? If so, with who or what kind of person?

I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it, to be honest. I mean, I’m only nineteen. I’ve got lots of time to think ‘bout that stuff. But maybe, maybe not. I mean, I wouldn’t like to put my entire life on hold for the sake of someone else. I want to live it to the fullest, y’know? And I can’t do it with billions of children around. I don’t know, man. Maybe I’ll change my mind, but that’s the way I see it right now.

RELATIONSHIPS —

What is your current relationship status? List any past serious relationships that you have had, and give a brief overview of the relationship(s).

Single like a pringle, and taking full advantage of it, too — feel free to hit me up, ladies. Actually, no, I’m digging this one person right now, so maybe don’t hit me up. Or do. I don’t know. I’m confused. Let’s get off that subject. Er, I’ve dated a lot of people, but not many of them were very serious, so I’ll name the ones that were. So, I dated Jason for a while when we were, like, fourteen. It was the first relationship I’d ever had, and probably the most serious one, too — like, I lost my virginity to him and everything, but it was with him that I discovered that I was a lesbian. So then a while after that, I dated Cora, but we realized that our entire relationship was pretty much just sexual, and that we had no actual romantic connection, so we decided to break up and remain best friends who sometimes stick each others’ tongues down one anothers’ throat. Er, I don’t know. I don’t really remember anyone else that very important.

Do you have any bitter enemies? If so, who are they and why? Describe the people closest to you.

Nah, man. I ain’t got time for that shit. No, wait, yes, I do. Trinity. Fucking wet dog. I hate her with the fire of a thousand burning suns. I don’t know how the fuck we’re related. I guess God thought that there was so much suck coming from Trinity’s side of the family that he decided to even it out with my awesomeness. As for people who I’m closest to, they’re my two older brothers, Oryan and Ryiekur. God, my name sounds so fucking normal next to theirs.

Who are they and what are they like? How do you think others generally perceive you?

They’re probably the best people I’ve ever met in my life, and I’ve met a lot of people. They’re both super smart too, and I mean super smart, man. Like, Trinity looks like a fucking wad of gum beside them. Ryieker is studying to become a lawyer in Dartmouth University, and Oryan is studying to become a doctor in none other than Princeton. So, yeah, fuck you, Trinity. Uh, I don’t know. I guess… well, I don’t know. Probably grade A bangable and fucking hilarious. Like, I’m pretty sure everyone thinks I invented humor. Hah. Okay, I’m just tooting my own horn here, but fuck off. I don’t know. That’s how I see myself. Go ask them.

Who are your closest friends?

I’m close with a lot of people. It’d take me three months to list each and every single one of them, honestly. I love them all equally.

SECRETS —

What are your greatest fears?

Anyone I care about dying, I guess. Something cheesy like that. I mean, I don’t fear a lot of things. They have to have a lot of meaning to me for me to fear them. Like, for example, I’d say that not achieving my dreams could be one of my greatest fears, but I know that I’m going to achieve them, so I’m not scared of that, because that’s in my control. Things that are out of my control, like someone I care about dying — now that’s terrifying.

What are your life dreams?

Yay, I like this question! I love questions about my dreams. They make me real happy. I plan on either opening up an art gallery, or various cute, small, but very expensive candleshops. Maybe settle down somewhere hot like Hawaii, or Dubai, or cool, like Japan or Ireland, and marry someone beautiful — or sleep around until the day I die. Whichever works fine.

Do you have any obsessions?

None that I can think of?

Secret hobbies?

Er… I dunno. I don’t think so. I don’t see why I should be sneaky about doing something I enjoy.

What is one thing you want to change about your current life?

Nothing. If there was something that I wanted to change, I’d’ve changed it by now, y’know? I’m living my life exactly the way I want to live it.

Do you miss anyone?

Nah, man. I don’t live in the past, and if I wanted to see someone, I’d see ‘em. I don’t see a reason as to why I should suffer with memories of someone when I could settle for the real thing.

LIFESTYLE —

What do you do for enjoyment?

Castrate homeless men and little boy scouts, sue me. Nah, I’m just fucking with you. I like to sculpt, and draw, and paint, and write. Anything artsy. I’m good at that stuff. I don’t know why. I just am. I enjoy myself, you know? I feel good when I draw, or sculpt, or paint, or whatever, so it ends up looking good. It’s pretty cool, when you think about it.

Do you have a look or style? If so, describe it.

You know, I’ve never really thought about it. I don’t think so. I mean, you could probably describe it as slutty. I wear the tiniest short shorts I can find — the kind that get mistaken for underwear in the streets — and a cropped top with a very low neckline; the best of both worlds, so I can show off my fantastic breasts and my belly button piercing at the same time. I don’t waste any time on hair or make up, though, and I usually just slap on some boots to go with it, I guess.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself?

Hmm. Oh, I know. I have this neighbour who’s an air hostess, so she’s constantly traveling, right? But she has a pet dog and a platypus, so I always take care of them for her when she’s away. Takes up a lot of my time, actually. But anyway, when I can’t sleep, I head over to her place and take her dog for a walk. It clears my head, and he has a tendency to run off, so I have to chase after him, and when I get home, I’m always dead tired.

Do you like to travel or stay in one place?

I like to travel. Seeing new things, meeting new people, trying new cuisines, getting to know other cultures — it’s all pretty mindblowing. Then again, when I’m in a place where I feel really comfortable, it’s nice to come home to something good every day. But only for a while. I want to live life to the fullest, y’know? In the words of Logan Lerman, life is a rollercoaster ride, and I don’t intend on being the one screaming and hanging on for dear life.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

Both. I like to wake up early and sip some tea whilst watching morning talk shows, and I like to stay up ‘til three am downing shots of vodka or watching movies from the fifties. I want to experience everything life has to offer, you know? Whether it be sunsets or sunrises.

Are you a tidy or a messy person?

Growing up around six males, you’d think I’d be a messy person — and you’d be right. Messiest bitch there ever was, man.

FAVORITES —

Favorite genre of music?

I really like French music. And soft jazz.

Favorite songs?

Well, shit. I have no fucking clue. How many times do I have to have listened to it for it to be considered my favorite song? I mean, if I had to pick one, it’d be Doses and Mimosas by Cherub.

Favorite foods?

This one time, Breezie took me to an Arabic restaurant for my birthday, and he got me fucking hooked on hummus. I have to eat it at least once every three days. I also like Arabic food in general, but hummus is my all-time favorite.

Favorite movies?

Good Night, and Good Luck is one of ‘em. Makes me cry every fucking time, and I’ve watched it, like, twenty eight times, probably. They’re various short stories about kids from all over the world all packed into one movie, and it’s just really fucking good. And moving. I’m tearing up right now, man. Other than that, just your regular, cheesy horror movies, like The Conjuring.

Favorite memory?

I was going to say the first time that me and the Fab Four took a trip to Disney together, but actually, my favorite memory is this one weekend I spent at Dartmouth. I was fifteen, and I was dating Jason at the same. We were attached to the hip, so he came with me. We slept in Ryieker’s dorm room and he’d take us to these edgy cafés and restaurants, and he’d talk to these super intellectual people, and we’d talk to them, too. I felt so cool, talking to all of these smart people and these older boys and girls who would hit on me. Then on Saturday night, Ryieker threw a party and it was the first college party I’d ever been to, and it was so much better than your typical high school house party. It was all very mature, and I in turn, felt mature. Me and Jason did shots with twenty year olds who read books in Russian, and it was the first time that I truly felt like my life was going somewhere. I felt fucking good, you know? I can’t remember ever feeling so much happiness all at once. And afterwards, me and Jason went back to Ryieker’s room, and that was where I lost my virginity. And although it sounds like the sloppiest way to lose your virginity, — on your brother’s bed, during a party, intoxicated and clumsy — it was special. There was a lot going on between me and him at the time, y’know? It was the best weekend of my life. But I gotta say, the time that me and the Fab Four went to Disney is a close second.

Favorite thing you own?

Probaby my passaport. Handy little thing, if you ask me.

[okfev]

currently texting ⇄ monica geller

auguste: no

auguste: why would you send a nude

auguste: are you sending nudes to everyone

fevrian: why :((( don't be a killjoy gus

fevrian: idk i'm bored send me a picture of a cake

fevrian: maaaaybe

[okfev]

currently texting ✉ mine

kinley: sit on my face pls

kinley: [sends image back]

kinley: love u

fevrian: yah ok sounds fun so come over n i will!!!

fevrian: [sends image back]

fevrian: i love u too

[okfev]

currently texting ⇄ all hail

hailey: i can't say that i am.

fevrian: that's a shame i'm pretty disappointed you have crushed my dreams man

fevrian: well what if i sent a shirtless picture of zac efron