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ohmywon · 10 months
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i love you. goodnight. you’re eating well right? eat well. i love you. THIS RIGHT HERE was so like super super cute lovely sweet absolutely love jungwon's habit of reminding engenes to eat well its so comforting in a way🤧
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voicemails yang jungwon leaves you while he’s on tour — fluff, established relationship, sprinkle of angst
heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | JUNGWON | ni-ki
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one. hi jagi, we just landed. are you okay? i filled up your refrigerator right before we left so make sure to eat well, okay? and yes, i know you don’t have time to cook so i made sure to order those pre-packed meals. they’re really good. i’ve tried them before. i trust you’ll take care of yourself while i’m far from you. promise me, okay?
two. it rained today and it made me think of you. you always loved when it rained. ah, i hope you’re staying warm. i left that hoodie you love so much. send me a photo if you wear it.
three. good luck on your test today. i know you studied really hard for that. you fell asleep on me so many times on call. i’m already so proud of you! the rest of the boys are cheering you on too. you got this!
four. good morning, my love. how are you today? did you sleep we— hm? ah, okay. jay says good morning too, by the way. i have to get to a schedule now. i love you!
five. i miss you so much. no one can calm me down like you do.
six. next time i’m bringing you with me. this is driving me insane.
seven. hi noona, it’s riki. i was gonna call and tell you jungwon misses you, but i can’t believe you bumped me to voicemail! anyways, jungwon misses you so much. and i think he was crying a while ago so i was hoping you could call him. no one gets him like you do.
eight. happy anniversary, my love. did you get the flowers i sent you? and the chocolates? and the food delivery for breakfast and lunch? i’m sorry i can’t be there, but maybe we can call after the show. i wanna spend today with you. thank you for loving me. one year? ah, that’s so crazy to me. thank you. i’d always prayed to find the love my parents shared, and i’m so happy i found it in you. i’ll make it up to you when i get home. we’ll celebrate again even if it’ll be months later.
nine. the boys wanted me to tell you that they miss you. obviously not as much as i do. i miss you the most out of everyone. always.
ten. i love you. goodnight. you’re eating well right? eat well. i love you.
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ohmywon · 10 months
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heart fluttering 😩 once again JAKE AKD JUNGWON JXKJXISNXJKSJ skipped a beat, stopped, malfunctioned everything for them
✴︎ ⎯ interrupting them with a kiss
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pairing | enhypen x reader
genre | fluff
wc | 1.2k
warnings | kissing lol + some playful teasing/bickering,, lmk if there’s anything else!
a/n | first work since the hiatus omg hope y’all enjoy i haven’t done one of these in a whileee
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HEESEUNG ♡
this boy is literally in the middle of answering a question YOU just asked but you can’t help but notice how ADORABLE he looks right now
wearing his oversized hoodie that engulfs his entire tall form somehow manages to make him look so tiny before you
and so you can’t just sit there and act like you’re okay
you can’t hold it in you anymore
so you kiss him
“oh…” he says, blinking at you, pleasantly surprised as you pull away. “do that again, please,” he smirks with more of a demanding voice this time
LEE HEESEUNG????
you’re left there at a loss for words at this reaction you didn’t expect to elicit from him
and so noticing you’re not doing anything, he decides to take things into his own hands
literally thanos’ “fine. i’ll do it myself” but make it intimate, sexy and lee heeseung
and you catch yourself melting under the hot touch of your boyfriend as his lips immediately find yours
JAY ♡
after kissing him all of a sudden, he lowk flinches and looks at you wide-eyed before acting like you didn’t just make his heart suddenly rush at 150 miles per hour whilst simultaneously doing hundreds of flips in his chest
he looks at you with a questioning type of look before laughing, attempting to mask his now flustered state before letting out a confused, “what the…”
“sorry, you were talking, then i realized how pretty your lips were looking as you were talking, and then you talked some more, and i—couldn’t hold back :)”
he scoffs playfully while letting his eyes shut half closed, still looking at you with an unamused (actually, very amused) stare, “so are you gonna let me finish what i was saying—”
“or should we make out for a few minutes? :D”
“y/n!”
no but after exposing him to the idea, soon the only thing leaving his lips were yours every time you had to catch your breath— (oop)
JAKE ♡
honestly,,, he’s barely taken aback??? 😭😭
like jake srsly? 😭 way to ruin the fun 🙄
nO BUT YK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT THO???
okay so you were the one messing with him, right? buT SOMEHOW BEFORE YOU KNOW IT HE’S THE ONE HAVING FUN MAKING YOU FLUSTERED DJDNDJDJ
literally turning this entire thing around like it’s some game
and so now he’s the one having you forming into a useless ball of mush as he suddenly takes hold of your face, kissing you back passionately like he thinks you can handle it or something 😭
lucky for you he’s holding you so even if every muscle in your body shuts down, having you weak under his touch, LIKE IT DOESNT FEEL LIKE IT BUT you are safe and secure with him <3
moral of the story: almost always whenever your lips meet his and you pull away, his brain just automatically takes it that he needs your lips back on his again asap and he’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants
this boy puts a whole lot of value on the kisses he gets to share with you. sorry i don’t make the rules 🤷🏻‍♀️
SUNGHOON ♡
sunghoon is just smiling as he reminisces out loud some memories you two shared from a while back
and if you’re being honest, the moments he brought back to life through his words started to make you fall in love with him all over again
you smile ear to ear just as he is and suddenly you catch yourself staring at his lips,, maybe it was the pretty smile you were just always so attracted to…
*peck*
“hey! what was that for?!” your boyfriend exclaims, very obviously flustered by your sudden move on his lips and djdjsjsj you catch a glimpse of his cheeks growing red before he turns away to hide his cute face with his hands
is that not just the most adorablejejsjdjd
he takes a few deep breaths in to compose himself before turning back around, ready to scold you (ZJDJDJ yes hoon you go !! dhdjdj)
“y/n, you can’t just do that!”—yup, great one, hoon, keep going—“i—was talking! and that was rude to interrupt me while i was talking…yeah! and actually, i should be the one making you flustered! not the other way around!”
smoothhh
“oh, so i made you flustered then?”
“hey!—you—no! i’m just saying…”
you let out a small chuckle, “cute.”
“what did you just say?”
“i said you’re cu—“ *peck*
“park sunghoon!” you laugh, in shock
“now look who’s getting shy.”
I— ???
SUNOO ♡
when you suddenly kiss him in the middle of his long run down of the latest gossip between his peers, a gasp leaves his lips as a smile automatically graces his face
“hey!” he hides his face in his hands and chuckles unbelievably, whining playfully, “don’t do that!”
“what? you don’t like it?” you tease
“if you do that again, i’m gonna refuse to even bother talking to you. you hear me? got it?”
oh the sassy little sunoo threats
“mhm, it’s just ‘cause you wanna kiss me so bad too, huh?”
“oh my, y/n,” the boy literally face palms, sighing, “yeah, let’s continue this conversation another time.”
he’s so done (nah he actually loves playfully bickering with you) he literally begins walking off, so you shout, “so is that a yes to more kisses, or???”
“no!!!”
“are you sure??”
“ugh, fine!”
he loves you 🙄😔
JUNGWON ♡
HED GIVE YOU THE BIGGEST CUTEST PUPPY KITTY(??) EYES
like full on adoration
he doesn’t care that you just stopped and interrupted everything he was saying
he thinks it was just so cute that you kissed him like that
a smile grows on his face as he asks what that was for
and you tell him how he just looked cute and you apologize you couldn’t help yourself
and that was when he had it
and he immediately leaned in and kissed you right back
YANG JUNGWON CALM DOWN A BIT PLS ITS TOO MUCH FOR OUR WEAK YN HEARTS-
NI-KI ♡
GETS SO FLUSTERED RIGHT ON THE SPOT
right as you pull back and watch for his reaction he’s letting out a chuckle and pressing his lips together, turning his entire body to face away from your view
he’s in his own world for a moment, processing what just happened before getting flustered again and trying to calm down and compose himself
and so you try to get his attention again. you poke him a few times, “riki? riki? riki?!”
he turns around, TRYING TO ACT ALL COOL AS THOUGH HE WASNT JUST STRUCK WITH THE BIGGEST SWARM OF BUTTERFLIES IN HIS STOMACH
like riki your face is all red, you can’t hide nothin 🙄
“hm?” he asks in the most composed voice and with the calmest face he could pull off (p.s. he was not very good at acting “calm” at all whatsoever and you just couldn’t let this boy have his moment)
“you’re so red right now,” you point out and cackle
“do you wanna kiss again?”
SJSNDJ I— ???? NISHIMURA RIKI!?&@:’!
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a/n | lol don’t mind if the tenses were all over the place in this one T-T i tried writing in present tense for once,, let’s hope it stayed that way throughout the whole thing djdjd ,, i hope you liked reading this one! first goldenhypen work in how many months?? hope you lovelies enjoyed !! likes and reblogs are very appreciated mwah <3
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ohmywon · 10 months
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SO TRUE ALL OF THIS especially jake and jungwon😍😔 honestly though red flags look too green on them raging hit green
→ ENHYPEN’S RED FLAGS !! ⚠︎
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PAIRING | ot7 x fem!reader
GENRE | crack
WORD COUNT | 1.3k
WARNINGS | mentions of food; reader is referred to as “girl”; i’m pretty sure it’s fine but it is possible i made mistakes w the tenses (i’m still tryna get used to writing more in present tense T-T)
DISCLAIMER | THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY A FORM OF HATE TOWARDS ENHYPEN (pls i love these boys w my entire being how could i) this is a joke so don’t take this too seriously lol
A/N | had the time of my life choosing pics for the moodboard btw they had me out here cackling at 3 am (first red flag: i’m out here losing sleep bc of them !! smh)
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이희승 ! HEESEUNG
too handsome… how can you stand to look at that devilishly handsome face without ever passing out due to lack of oxygen in your lungs when he’s always taking your breath away?! also y’all become way too popular; people are always staring at you two (not only heeseung but you too obviously 😏), it’s tiring being so famous yk 🙄
good at everything… it’s lowk invigorating sometimes bc he’s always outdoing you in everything. when you play games, he’s beating you; when you’re having fun at karaoke, he’s always out-singing you or showing off with his fancy riffs and harmonies; when you’re playing sports together, he always has a way of beating you, no matter what the sport. he even manages to do better at the simple task of making ramyeon. and we all know that’s only to list a few. it’s just so tiring having such a perfect bf 😔
박종성 ! JAY
jawline is too sharp… you cup his jaw as you kiss him then suddenly you hurt your hand on his sharp jawline !! it’s not fair that you have to sacrifice your hands every day just because he looks so good.
cooks for everyone… because he cooks so much, you can’t just be hanging out watching him be all hot and sexy as he cooks for everyone all the time !! you’ve had enough of back hugging him, cheek pressed against his firm back muscles (they’re so strong, it hurts your face !!), or smelling and eating all the delicious food,,, you just wanna spend alone time with your man, without the kitchen as the third wheel :’D your bf is just so husband material, and being able to provide for everyone aside from just you and him is just so, totally, very much, rlly unattractive (that’s sarcastic btw i actually couldn’t come up w any negative points to this why would anyone hate that about him-)
심재윤 ! JAKE
always has his tongue hanging outside of his mouth or his teeth sunk into his bottom lip with a smirk… no wonder my man always has ulcers lol jk i have no idea how that actually works,, but you can never kiss him cuz his mouth hurts !! but he’s too hot for you to handle anyways so- sometimes he’ll be all seductive with that smirk after swiftly swiping his tongue over his lips and you have to literally take a moment to compose yourself before he wraps his hands around your waist, biting his bottom lip before leaning in to kiss you,, oh my heart :’>
loves his dog too much… sure, loving layla taught him ways on how to love on his own future girl, but you didn’t realize how long it would take him to transfer the title of his most favourite girl from layla to you. you were always competing with a dog and yes, she’s cute but how was this fair?! so let’s just say it took many years of hard work and determination until you finally stole that hard earned title.
박성훈 ! SUNGHOON
doesn’t hang out with enough girls… so he has no experience when it comes to dating you. even before dating you, he was basically a total clutz. not being around girls enough made him feel nervous whenever he was around them due to lack of experience. and so whenever it came to you at first, he was always a nervous wreck and super awkward. and even after dating you, though he is so much better and confident, he still has his slip ups and tends to get super shy whenever you make him flustered (which occurs a lot more often than you’d imagine)! alexa play ‘super shy’ by newjeans 👖
too funny… he randomly comes out with these stupidly funny jokes or comments that make you laugh so hard, it makes your tummy, cheeks and lungs hurt. whenever you tell him you’re gonna die of laughter, you’re not joking.
김선우 ! SUNOO
too sassy… like why does he always have to react with his eye rolls or side eyes whenever you tease him, with that snarky scoff. and then when he’d tease you back, he’d just take the remarks to a whole other level. but occasionally this sass would be used in your favour; whenever a friend would tease you, he’d always get very defensive and have the best comebacks. actually depending on how close you two are with the friend, he once in a while would take the side of your friend and just tease you harder.
perfect figure… he outdoes you all the time. like sunoo give us ladies a chance to shine?? he’s always stealing the spotlight, it’s annoying sometimes !! 🙄 like yes, you (y/n) are always hot and super attractive (self confidence!!! you deserve to love yourself 😌) but for some reason people are always complimenting sunoo’s body instead of yours. but let me let you in on a little secret… it’s only because it’s obvious you’re the one who’s clearly more physically attractive. and who states the obvious these days anyway? hmph 😌
양정원 ! JUNGWON
too loveable… in other words,, there’s nothing to ever (playfully) hate on him with or tease him about !! so boring 👎👎👎 like you just constantly wanna love on him. he can be teasing you about an embarrassing moment of yours that happened just a couple minutes ago, and then you try to think of a comeback but then you take one glimpse into his eyes and suddenly you’re melting on the spot as your mind is wiped of everything you could’ve ever thought up in one quick moment. and suddenly you can only think about the things about him that give you warm, fluffy feelings. HE COULD BE DOING THE BARE MINIMUM AND YOURE FULL HEART EYES FOR HIM he’s just perfect. so unfair and so not fun 👎👎
duality… DOES HE EVEN UNDERSTAND THAT HE SHOULD HAVE YOUR HEART TO LOOK AFTER ???? like what about your well being ??? how about YOUR FEELINGS ???? like you’re constantly being emotionally pulled this way and that cuz one second he’ll be the cutest bf ever with his bread cheeks and fluffy smile when all of a sudden he has a dance to practice and all of a sudden he’s in performance mode, and his duality is just insane !!! is that even the same jungwonie that was with you just a second ago ???? i think not !!! smh
西村 力 ! NI-KI
too tall; doesn’t stop growing… (if he’s a lot taller than you) how are you gonna kiss him?? how is he gonna kiss you?? no but even if he isn’t a lot taller than you now, this boy doesn’t stop growing. you won’t admit it but it’s actually really romantic and hot the way he’d do things to match your heights, such as the other day when he carried you onto the counter, stood between your legs, and pressed his lips against yours in the hottest kiss you’ve ever shared. it’s simply not okay ???
too good of a dancer… outdoes you in every dance game. like riki at least give us a chance??? i mean sometimes he does, but the competitive side of him always wins and he just ends up beating you anyways like always 🙄 also getting to watch him on stage is like seeing a whole other riki. you mostly know him for his goofy personality, but whenever you get to see him perform, he switches that off and enters his alter ego and it has to be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. so you get the best of both worlds… which obviously isn’t healthy for your heart ???
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ohmywon · 10 months
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writing is chef's kiss as always as is mai touch the fairy touch BUT THE AESTHETIC FORMAT??? THE PRETTIEST I HAVE EVERRRR SEEN truly. and missing mai too been so long :'(((
THE RAIN HAS AN EDGE ╰ ﹙ ☁️ ﹚ft. park sunghoon ﹕ a oneshot ﹙ preview ﹚
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you are the girl with an umbrella on a rainy day, and sunghoon is the boy at the bus stop drenched from head to toe.
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in a nutshell ﹒ there’s a heavy downpour so you hold an umbrella over sunghoon and he looks at you like you’re crazy // 100% fluff
word count ﹒ preview is 1.5k; full ver ~6-7k
fic one of the chasing rainbows series ﹙ coming soon ! ﹚
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“true, the sun and the wind inspire. but the rain has an edge. who, after all, dreams of dancing in the dust? or kissing in the bright sun?” — cynthia barnett
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now playing ﹒ paris in the rain﹙ lauv ﹚
THE FIRST TIME you talk to park sunghoon, it’s raining, it’s cold, and jake had ditched you to “hang out” with chaewon, because he’s a crappy friend who pounces at any opportunity for female attention.
after your study session in the school library finishes, you find yourself standing at the school’s front entrance, grimacing at the downpour of rain in front of you. heavy pellets pummel from the sky like bullets, forming puddles in the divots of the ground and lowering the temperature enough to make you shiver. 
lucky for you, you remembered to bring your umbrella.
this was a habit of yours even on the sunniest of days, after spending five days bedridden with a fever following The Great Downpour of 2020.
when you reached for your backpack and unfurled your umbrella, it sprung to life and off you went, hopping down the cement paveway that led to the nearest bus stop.
you’re just about to slip in your earphones when you stop in your tracks, spotting a figure a few steps ahead of you. 
the person is crouching on the ground at the bus stop, hunched over and hugging their bookbag in an attempt at gathering warmth. 
the person is drenched and miserable.
and practically radiating angst and despair.  
because you’ve always been a totally (impulsive) caring and selfless person, you shuffle over and hold your umbrella over the person’s head.
they look up — and just when you encounter a cold gaze, dark brows and raven hair — you realise that the moody figure is none other than park sunghoon.
park sunghoon, the ridiculously good-looking senior everybody whispers about but doesn’t actually know anything about. 
park sunghoon, the guy who always wears a stoic, unsmiling expression that makes him the most unapproachable of his group of friends. 
and park sunghoon, the one who’s staring at you with a baffled and slightly distrustful expression on his face. 
oh.
you’re just standing here, staring at him like a creep. 
crap.
you should say something.
you open and shut your mouth a few times, trying to brainstorm what you might possibly say. you want to sound smart. and funny. and cool. so, naturally, the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a very intelligent and super profound, “it’s, uh. . . raining.”
sunghoon continues to stare, his brows slightly furrowed to suggest he was questioning your sanity. 
“it’s raining,” you stupidly repeat louder, as though he hadn’t heard you over the rain. 
“good catch,” he replies, his gruff voice coinciding with the slight dip of his lips. 
the rumors are so true. 
sunghoon definitely has a very grumpy, rather angsty demeanour. you’ve actually spotted him around school a few times (you may or may not follow him with your eyes every time he’s around. is that a crime? it can’t be! you’re not the only one in the student body who finds him extremely attractive and painfully enigmatic), but he’s not the kind of person you can approach so easily.
in fact, he’s been coined the nickname ice prince for a reason.
“yes, uh,” you struggle to string together a coherent set of words, especially because he stands to his feet now, and you have to make the effort to not be intimidated by his height. 
“what i meant to say is that it’s raining but you don’t have an umbrella,” you laughed awkwardly, wanting to whack your head and yell stupid, stupid, stupid for impulsively waddling over here and saying stupid things to park sunghoon of all people. “i-i mean, obviously it’s a free country and you can totally do whatever you want, but, as you might already know — and i’m sure you do because you’re one of the smartest kids in school — standing in the rain can get you sick, like, really sick, and i only know this because about three years ago i forgot my umbrella and — funny story — i ended up getting so sick that i had to take five days off school because my fever was so high.”
oh god.
you quickly slap the tips of your fingers over your lips to physically restrain yourself from talking. the motion makes sunghoon’s gaze quickly flit to your lips, before they bounce back up to your eyes.
his stare is so painfully emotionless that you cringe inwardly.
you wish he’d say something.
anything. literally anything.
but he’s silent.
well, of course he is — you basically just trauma dumped about your stupid fever story. boo-hoo, you were sick from the rain — who cares?
just when you think you’ve reached the death of the conversation, you’re surprised by the sound of his soft voice.
“. . . niki.”
huh?
you blink, leaning in slightly so that you can hear him better.
“. . . niki. my brother. he took the last umbrella.”
oh.
your lips form a small o as you nod in understanding. “oh, niki! that doesn’t surprise me. he’s in my class, you know, and he’s always playing pranks on our teacher. one time he actually hid the test papers so we got a whole extra day to study,” your voice lowers to a whisper, “can’t believe i still failed it though. . .”
sunghoon doesn’t say anything, and afraid of being submerged in awkward silence again, you rush to fill in the space. 
“so where’s niki now?”
he shrugs. “soccer practice, probably.”
“oh,” you frown. “wait, aren’t you part of the soccer team, too? you’re the goalie. you saved so many goals last season and helped the team to their first win in two years,” you say, though your eyes widen in panic as soon the words leave your mouth, “n-not that i’m a stalker, or anything,” you frantically add, “it’s just that everyone knows you’re the goalie because one, it’s common knowledge, and two, the game is coming up and we’re all on the edge of our seats to find out how it goes!” 
stupid stupid stupid. 
why are you rambling so much? 
sunghoon doesn’t seem to mind, though his lips flatten in a rather sour manner. “i quit the team, actually.”
you gasp. “you’re the person jake is replacing? he’s been so cocky ever since it was announced that he’d be on the team. what made you quit?”
he shrugs, “it got boring,” he mumbles, then his ears turn slightly red and he dips his head in an emotion you never imagined park sunghoon could wear — embarrassment. “and i accidentally sprained my ankle.”
you blinked in surprise. “how?”
he hesitates before answering. “i tripped.” 
you stifle a laugh at the irony, because while sunghoon was a lot of adjectives — tall, handsome, mysterious, brooding, kind of scary, even — you never thought he was clumsy.
you softly cackle, earning you a glare from the boy. 
“sorry,” you grin playfully, growing accustomed to his icy aura. “i just never pictured you as a klutz.”
“says you,” he grumbles, “weren’t you the one who tripped and fell in the cafeteria last week? ”
“what—” you choked, “you saw that?”
he exhaled through his nose in amusement. “who didn’t?” sunghoon raised a brow at you. “i’m pretty sure someone recorded and posted it. the caption was ‘dumbass fails to do simple task and ends up with food all over her clothes.’”
your eyes slammed shut before they shot open. “fucking jake,” you growled, gripping the umbrella tightly. “i’m going to kill him.”
sunghoon chuckled, and the sound made your heart beat a little faster. you caught a fleeting glimpse of his smile which — by the way — showcased the most emotion you had ever seen from the boy. it couldn’t be helped that your stomach mangled and twisted at his pearly-white boyish smile, one that made his cheeks bunch up his face and his eyes twinkle like stars.
how pretty.
his smile faded as quickly as it appeared, however, and you soon found yourself facing his usual blank expression again. 
you want to try say something that might make him smile or laugh again, but he suddenly steps outside of the cage of your umbrella and raises his hand, hailing down the incoming bus. 
it slowly stops by the road beside the two of you, marking the end of your little interaction. 
“oh, your bus is here,” you force a smile, rather disappointed. “i’ll, um, see you later, sunghoon.”
“get home safe,” he retrieves his bus card from his pocket, glancing over his shoulder before he boards his bus. “and thanks. for the umbrella.” 
“n-no problem!” you quickly smile, “and by the way, my name is—”
“i know your name,” he interjects, and you think your mind is playing tricks on you when you see the edges of his lips twitch upward. “see you around.” 
sunghoon disappears into the bus and it whizzes by you, though you stay frozen in your feet for what feels like forever. 
he knows your name.
he’ll see you around.
you tuck your lip between your teeth, cheeks and ears flaring up.
and he wants you to get home safe.
.
( to be continued )
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this is a preview only ﹒ full fic is estimated 6-7k ﹒ taglist open — send an ask, dm, or reply !
a/n . btw this is a preview only. the full fic might come out next week ? anyway my first hoonie fic and it's 100% pure, unadulterated fluff <3 this is inspired by paris in the rain + the above quote + an exo fic i adore ^^ hope u all liked it :) see u in the full version maybe 🤓
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ohmywon · 10 months
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THE WRITING IS IMMACULATE, EXTRAORDINARY, SPECTACULAR MINDBLOWING REMARKABLE it's written so simply but each word is so perfectly placed goes right into my heart with the descriptions of each members' part especially yeonjun "worlds away even when he was right across the table" "the dream boyfriend but I had to wake up" gut wrenching, eye opening and what not. soobin "because he’s sat in the front row today, next to his own special person" "maybe a part of me will always love soobin. and maybe that's okay" so heart warming yet heart breaking? beomgyu "he flew away and I flew home" holly molly the word play(?)here, really did something to me had to pause right at that line so powerful in just those few words taehyun "the sound of his heartbeat continues to linger in the back of my mind" died right here everything stop like why i loved was the one i lost hello what???? just why you gotta do this to taehyun and kai "when our world was only just a few blocks wide. somewhere there we had our own version of love" "and though a million memories in the past and a life so far behind my current one, my something with kai was beautiful" this was so nostalgic like the vibes in this so innocence filled and this is life kinda painful like OVERALL your brain is something else to have put all these feelings into words!!
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Heavily inspired by “The Last”, a short film by Wong Fu productions.
I loved five boys and five boys only. This is why.
.: 1.6k words .:. all members x female reader (not polyamory) .:. romance :.
.: masterlist :.
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The doors to the church are closed, and the warm summer wind blows against my skin, the skirt of my dress dancing against the pavement. There are several bobby pins sticking straight into my head but I just close my eyes to try to get my mind off of the pain. It’s quiet from out here, aside from the occasional whir of a car passing by.
I only have several minutes left, though, with my wedding coordinator standing on the other side of the doors, ready to open it and allow me inside to walk down the aisle and say “I do.”
My heart is filled with an indescribable combination between excitement and anxiety, because the moment I walk into the church, the rest of my life will begin.
The rest of my life with a man who is silly and loving and an accumulation of everything I’ve ever dreamed of. The rest of my life with a man who is stubborn and considerate and is endlessly supported. The rest of my life with the man who I’ve fallen in love with.
To think this is where I ended up.
After falling in love so many times before, here I am, with a rock on my finger representing my promise, my vow to a person I’ve only known for just short of three years and loved for less than two.
Before him, I loved five men and five men only. This is why.
Keep reading
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ohmywon · 10 months
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SUCH A GREAT FIC LIKE I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS PIECE the word building is so good(that's how you know it's one of my favs) a rare masterpiece in txtblr don't get how this has not gone popular literally too good a hidden gem my favorite soobin fic of allllll time the storyline is sooo good, funny and interesting at the same time love the characters and their personalities especially the mcs and flower *melts into a puddle* that's such a pretty and heart fluttering name to be called and that too by soobin 🙈💗 felt like watching a movie would have absolutely loved for the horror backstory to continue was way too interesting but nevertheless loved the way it ended 💋
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After hitting ten million subscribers and receiving larger supernatural requests, leader of the Budget Ghostbusters, Choi Soobin is on the lookout for a new assistant to help carry the load. Enter you, so desperate for a part-time job to pay your bills that despite your lack of paranormal interest, you lie on your resume and claim to have psychic powers - and just like that, you are hired!
.: 17k words .:. female reader .:. strangers to lovers .:. fluff, comedy, hurt/comfort, paranormal :.
.: tw: paranormal elements, mature language :.
.: masterlist .:. budget ghostbusters :.
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Day after day, interview after interview, and you remained jobless.
It’s something you can’t even blame on an unimpressive resume or bad interview skills, because unfortunately, it really is just bad timing. With summer vacation approaching, many young high school student, single parents and college graduates are scrambling for summer jobs too and you just applied a tad too late.
It’s not like you needed a job either, but you were starting university in the fall at a school an entire two-hour bus ride away. Plus, a couple extra won every month for a car by the time winter comes around sounds good. You’d asked your moms about getting a car for your birthday, but now that you’re an adult, they’d suggested you take responsibility for something as important as this. Of course, they had warned you that it wouldn’t be an easy feat at eighteen, but you’ve historically been rather stubborn, cunning, and though it’s embarrassing to admit, you’re aware that you certainly land somewhere in the ‘chaotic’ column of the moral alignment chart.
Whether you’re good or evil though, you haven’t quite decided yet.
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ohmywon · 10 months
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in which a world champion tries scoring the girl next door. KJSHJXKZJ F1 DRIVER HEESEUNG?? VKUJSHSJEJ
that was so not a good first impression but it's okay heeseung we'll get more chances
can't wait for this!
LOVE AT FIRST SPEED — L.HS (TEASER!)
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SYNOPSIS: World champion, record breaker, winner of hundreds of races, what does Lee Heeseung want other than that? Apparently, love. Being the greatest doesn't mean that he's doing well. Even though there were many girls already lining up for him, he knew none of them were truly sincere. Constantly alone and devoid of love, he craves it unconditionally. That was until everything changed when he met you, his new next door neighbour that doesn’t even know he’s a famous f1 racer. (subjected to change)
OR! in which a world champion tries scoring the girl next door.
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PAIRINGS: F1 driver!heeseung x afab!reader
GENRE: strangers/neighbours to lovers, love at first sight, formula one au, sports au, romance
WARNING(S): profanities, heeseung is a certified loverboy, partying (more to be added)
RELEASE DATE: TBA (not even halfway through 😭) est: (late?) december
AUTHOR'S NOTE: send in an ask/comment to be added to the ongoing taglist! will be closed before the release date (when i update it)
ONGOING TAGLIST: @silentkarnival @strvlveera @freshsaladbowl @bejewelledgirl @fakeuwus @yenqa @hsgwrld @ilovegyuvin @enhacatalog @aishigrey @seongclb @hepli @jayfrvr @jiawji @acciocriativity @m3chigo @in-somnias-world @ren4luv @k1ttylvr @pluviophilefangirl @skzenhalove @deobitifull @ipoststuffandyeah @shinkenprincess-oh @wvnkoi @renaishun @mars101 @kgneptun @rikisly @soobnisms @noascats @velvtcherie @httpsneptvnn @asteria-wood @jihanlovic @heeseungshim @lilriswife4life @aylin-hijabi
© jaylver all rights reserved.
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– MONTE CARLO, MONACO, 2023
Lee Heeseung was drunk.
Going out with the boys was probably a mistake. Look, it was off season and everyone was back in Monaco, so it definitely sounded like a great idea to go out for a night out, right? Wrong. 
Letting Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Yeonjun and some of the other drivers drag him to a well known club in the city was his first mistake of the night. The second was accepting all of the shots they offered, acting as if the celebrations of him winning his third world championship wasn’t over yet. The alcohol that took over his senses only made him stumble to the dance floor, dancing wildly with girls surrounding him, not giving a care if a camera was capturing everything. That was his third mistake.
By the end of the night, every one of them were equally shitfaced. It wasn’t a great look, and he was sure their personal trainers weren’t going to be happy at all. Heeseung, in particular, was taking it better than the rest, though still slurring and stumbling around, at least he managed to tell his address fully to the taxi driver. 
Getting dropped off at the lobby looking absolutely destroyed was humbling. He kept his head low, reminding himself that he had a reputation to maintain and went for the elevator, pressing the number of his floor. He was leaning against the wall, holding it for support as he slowly sobered up, trying his best to feel around his body for his keycard.
“Fuck,” he cursed out, unable to remember where it was with that hazy mind of his. 
The elevator stopped at his floor with a ‘ding’, grabbing his attention from his ongoing search for the moment. He trudged along the quiet hallway, dragging his feet and mumbling his regrets. One thing’s for sure was that he should not rely on Jake for claiming it was a ‘light party’. Light party my ass.
Standing in front of his door to the apartment, he was dying to get in and crash into his comfortable bed. However, he remembered what he was struggling to find: his keycard. God, why me, he thought. 
His head was beginning to spin and it was not helping. He was slipping his hand into his back pockets, shirt pockets that didn’t even exist because he’s wearing a button up, then his socks, which was absolutely insane. No, Lee Heeseung was turning insane. At one point, he let out a sigh and leaned his head on his door, swearing that he was about to collapse out of fatigue.
“Uh—are you okay?” Was that a voice coming from the pits of his head? It couldn’t be, it was a woman’s voice. “Mister?”
Heeseung turned around in a blink of an eye, almost letting out a yelp in shock when his eyes landed on you. Even in his drunken daze, he was still able to make out how pretty you were. There you were, standing in a party dress that was enough to tell him you were out clubbing too, makeup that was intact and heels in one hand, creating a small height difference between him and you.
“Huh?” That was probably the dumbest thing he could let out at that moment. Wake up, he cursed at himself. “You’re not that old lady,”
“She moved away,” you guessed he was referring to the old lady that sold you her apartment, the one that was next to this … guy. “I’m guessing you were not here a few months ago to even realise I’m your new neighbour?”
Well, no, Heeseung was busy winning his championship in Abu Dhabi during then. 
He didn’t say that though, instead he shrugged, liking the fact that you were oblivious he was someone well known. “I travel for work, so not really. My apologies,”
“I see,” you nodded your head, continuously cautious, he could see that. “Do you have trouble entering your own home?”
“What makes you think that?”
“You were searching for something—even in your socks,”
“Oh,” he licked his lips, currently embarrassed. “I—uh—don’t know where my keycard is,”
“Have you searched your pockets?”
“Yes,”
“Wallet?”
Heeseung paused. “No …”
“Try searching, I’m sure it’s there somewhere,” you were so confident in saying that, which made Heeseung uneasy and doubtful. How would you know it was there and he didn’t? 
You pulled out your own keycard, pressing against the sensor and your door unlocked with a click, but before you went in and left Heeseung behind, you scrunch your nose up. “You should probably sober up … and also wash away the perfumes on your shirt. It’s heavy,”
Once you shut your door, Heeseung scoffed. He lowered his head to the sleeves of his button up shirt and inhaled, the smell of perfumes from the girls he danced with clung to the fabric desperately. He hated that you weren’t completely wrong. Then, he reached for his wallet, rolling his eyes at your voice in his head, but was once proven right again when he saw his glistening keycard there. For fuck’s sake.
Now, he was guessing he probably set a bad impression on you, making you think he was some stupid womaniser. Gosh, the way your eyes narrowed at him was burnt into his mind. 
Heeseung was not getting much sleep that night.
. . . to be continued !
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ohmywon · 10 months
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CLASS PREZ JUNGWON just diligent jungwon like good kid jungwon is so cuteeeee. "prepare your lips" ?????? nsjyzbdywojwjq this jungwon is love kskshjsh😵 "isn't my girlfriend so pretty" 🤡💀🙈🙈 yesss jungwon thank you😔 I'LL GET EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD RIGHT TO GET A SMOOCH FROM JUNGWON anything for jungwon too down bad too whipped🤧
classmate au | yang jungwon
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❝ i’ve retired from the student council lmao ❞
heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | JUNGWON | ni-ki
yang jungwon
where do i even begin
in the first year of highschool, he used to be THE class president
resident teacher’s pet, sits in the front, yada yada… typical good student stereotype
BUT NOW??? 😭😭😭😭
he just goes to school to be silly
don’t get me wrong like he is smart n still receives good grades
but he isn’t the 100% school jungwon from 7th grade
MOVING ON
how do you befriend yang jungwon
he’s actually a friend of a friend!
apparently, rei had met him when she was in the student council for like a year
so naturally, you eat lunch together at the canteen
he always has those cool lunchboxes and just rly GOOD food for lunch that he doesn’t share
you didn’t know what to expect from the boy when you first started eating lunch together
maybe timid??? shy??? bossy?? you don’t know bc he’s in a different section
you certainly don’t expect him to know about every single possible GOSSIP in the school
he says it in such a funny way too like
yang jungwon storytelling skills 10/10
and he laughs so hard like he will draw attention to your table bc he’s laughing so hard
but it’s valid bc the things he says sometimes are so unhinged that even YOU can’t help the loud cackles
tho you don’t rly become close friends until sports fest season
you hang around each other ++ additional friends BUT they’re always in some contest so you’re left with jungwon most of the time
“do you want to leave and go to the mall??,” you’d ask more as a joke
but he agrees
YANG JUNGWON agrees to skip sports fest to go to the mall with you im in tears
that’s how you find yourselves in a small karaoke room at the mall
he drags you to the arcade too
the original bet was loser pays for the winner’s lunch
but then u lost every game and u looked so cute pouting that jungwon suddenly changes the rules
“FINE… winner pays for the loser’s lunch”
he pretends to be so upset about it too so that you can grab his arm and shake it around to try and get his attention
he gives in obv
then he takes u to lunch at one of like ur fav places and ure like omg ??? u think it’s telepathy that he knows
BUT NO he listens to your stories during lunch time and you’ve mentioned eating here and loving it before
he even has your order down but he tries not to be too obvious about it ☹️☹️
yang jungwon listens to you even tho you’re seated a few people away from him
womp womp it rains when u decide to go back to school
you two end up running in the rain together
WELL technically at first you tried to share his umbrella but then the both of you got too flustered
so when u started to stray away from his umbrella .. he CLOSES it
he takes your hand and goes running for the school so you can take shelter from the rain
the teachers and students look at u like 🤨🤨
anyways jungwon and (name) ABSENT from sports fest
the only thing you remember the event by is bc u joined picture taking before leaving the school grounds
it’s so natural hanging out with him
nothing ever feels forced bc he’s just so goofy and silly that you never feel crazy when talking to him
ever since then !!!!! he’d sit closer to you during lunch time
then he’d start waiting for you outside your classroom just to tell you something ??
will find every excuse to talk to you
and if the teacher needs something from your room? bye he’s VOLUNTEERING just to see you for a few seconds
ofc the teachers just think typical Jungwon behavior
but no … this is typical Jungwon with a Crush behavior
ALSO picture this
his classes end earlier than yours
he will literally pass by your classroom a million times and peek through the open door to make like brief eye contact with you
sometimes .. u don’t notice him and he just admires the way you look on forward to the teacher
also pretends his class ended late so when ur class dismisses he’ll be like “oh let’s talk to the cafeteria together!”
he’s not slick abt it
WHAT DID THAT MALL TRIP DO TO HIM
why is he suddenly so down bad and willing to do everything to hear you laugh
(he starts sharing his food with you btw i know… very shocking for him who ltrly Never shares)
he finally confesses after a school event that ran longer than it should’ve
so he sprints at you and tells you he needs to tell you something bc he is going crazy
CONFESSES !!!!!!!!!
ofc who are you to reject him.
be careful when you start dating bc i firmly believe he LOVES kissing 😹
like he is obsessed and will just be kissing you all the time i’m sorry i’m pushing this agenda
tho ofc in hidden areas!!!!!!!
he doesn’t want his beloved teachers catching him who still has an image of being a teacher’s pet
soooooo like……
“come here, let me kiss you”
you even receive TEXTS as if you’re some sort of sneaky link (you’re not)
“please meet me under the stairs beside the student council office and prepare your lips 😘😘😘😘”
under the stairs, the side of the basketball court, an empty classroom … everywhere
BEHAVE yang jungwon
he’s so clingy and so smug too
has you as his lockscreen
it’s so funny bc someone would borrow his phone and your zoomed in face would just flash in his phone
talks about u to his friends all the time
“isn’t my girlfriend so pretty?,” with this smile 😊😊😊😁
lets you wear his school blazer
sometimes he even switches ur pe shirts
HE DOESNT TELL U
He just likes seeing the big fat “yang” printed on your back
STUDY DATES
he makes his kisses a reward sometimes like if you get this question right he’ll SMOOCH u
he’s honestly so good at being academic support like he knows exactly what to say bc 7th grade him was a different breed n be was so eager to please and always felt so pressured
jungwon a Veteran u guys
helps you in the subjects you’re not so good in
tbh teaches better than your teachers sometimes
like he’d stay behind in class and it’s only the two of you in the classroom and he’ll start WRITING on the whiteboard
just starts lecturing to help you for an upcoming exam
ANYWAYS
honestly just good luck to you and your poor lips
oh also your poor stomach bc he will always make you laugh
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note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
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ohmywon · 10 months
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binged it quite a while back and truly best ever smau it was like a rollercoaster through a thriller romance like how do i even explain I ABSOLUTELY LOVED it especially sunghoon's character 🤤🤤 fav fav fav!!! song kang in the recent my demon drama legit reminds of this sunghoon and that's literally only reason im gonna be watching the drama (besides the fact that it's song kang👀) so far the trailers are so very my accidental demon roommate vibes. back to this smau its sooooooo good wish this was like a netflix series with real sunghoon in it 😩 also the written parts are heaven like the word building and way everything is described so in detail especially hoonyn scenes 😍😍me in love,, author fallen from heaven talented with writing🤧
ALSO PLOT IS MINDBLOWING and author just brings it to life with the writing
MY (ACCIDENTAL) DEMON ROOMMATE
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PAIRING: demon!Sunghoon x human!fem!reader
SUNMARY: Sunghoon wasn’t expecting to be sent to the mortal world by his “father”, much less being forced into attending college (he’s a demon! why would he need to?!) and being accidentally summoned by a clueless human almost had him marching straight into Hell to have a word with its ruler. Only he couldn’t, because he was already bound to you by a fucking paper-cut sealing your contract which means he can’t just leave the mortal world without taking something of yours in return.
IMPORTANT NOTE: please do read everything on here thoroughly!
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GENRE: college au, social media au with occasional written parts, modern supernatural (?) au, “and they were roommates”, horror themes (but not really?), slice of life, mystery, thriller, light angst, fluff, humor and crack (you know the drill 🤣)
WARNINGS: y/n has little to no verbal filter (she’s kinda crazy... and dumb), Sunghoon is tired despite not needing sleep, swearing, dirty/inappropriate jokes (you have y/n to blame mostly), light sacrilege, light blasphemy (idk what to say except this is a smau abt demons) if you wish to proceed, read at your own discretion. I’ve laid out what you’re going to expect already.
FEATURING: ENHYPEN, Aespa's Karina, IVE's Wonyoung, TXT's Yeonjun and Soobin and brief appearances of other idols.
STATUS: completed
START: JAN 02, 2022
END: APRIL 11, 2022
TAGS USED: #asks.demon.roomie👹 #demon.roomie.things👹 (in case you want to filter them so I wont clog your dashes <3)
A/N:this is for all the monster fuckers out there!! /hj there will be some world-building in this and i hope there is as just as much plot like before 🤩 keep in mind this is all fictional and none of this represents the idols in real life. Also any info about the occult/supernatural may not be accurate and some elements here are my own interpretations and/or twists hehe.
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PROFILES 1 | PROFILES 2
PROLOGUE: and so it begins
PART I: vore?
PART II: nefarious plans
PART III: a full essay? in these trying times?
PART IV: RONALD MCDONALD???
PART V: dumb b*tch allegations
PART VI: so mote it be (written)
PART VII: oh sweet Hecate
PART VIII: SOOBIN ENOUGH
PART IX: look at us
PART X: hoonie my roomie (written)
PART XI: foul creature
PART XII: demon fact(s)!
PART XIII: Kaneki Ken
PART XIV: brocolli kid
PART XV: S.S
PART XVI: not a serial killer
PART XVII: fucking goldfish
PART XVIII: bronies look away
PART XIX: brittle bones
PART XX: Furries.
PART XXI: demon ROOMIE fact(s)!
PART XXII: scooby dooby doo!
PART XXIII: human sacrifice 🙌🏼
PART XXIV: tamed that what?
PART XXV: lesbian lesbianer lesbianest
PART XXVI: fond
PART XXVII: manners maketh man
PART XXVIII: a furry gathering
PART XXIX: Operation S.O.S
PART XXX: see you in the dark night (written)
PART XXXI: and the truth comes spilling out (written)
PART XXXII: blessed or cursed? (written)
PART XXXIII: balls
PART XXXIV: bad daddy behavior
PART XXXV: let me in… LET ME IN!
PART XXXVI: please wrap it up
PART XXXVII: you’re so beautiful (written)
PART XXXVIII: don’t mince the cojones
PART XXXIX: MILFS?
PART XL: Monster Mash
PART XLI: summer what?
PART XLII: Y/N gone wild (not clickbait)
PART XLIII: tumblrina
PART XLIV: Sunghoon’s slow descent to madness
PART XLV: the girls are fighting
PART XLVI: arts and crafts
PART XLVII: something smells 🤥
PART XLVIII: mother (fucker)
PART XLIX: four of crows 🦅
PART L: i found the devil; i found him in a lover (written)
PART LI: mortal peril
PART LII: the twilightifaction of ynhoon
PART LIII: humanoid cephalopod
PART LIV: me & sunoo when
PART LV: i’m srs.
PART LVI: babe wake up!
PART LVII: girl is a gun (written)
PART LVIII: because you’re mine, i walk the line (written)
PART LIX: and when I opened my eyes (written)
PART LX: hold me down forever (written)
PART LXI: vacuum arc
FINAL PART: forever?
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ohmywon · 10 months
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haven't read this yet but seems really attractive (?) I mean street racer heeseung I cannot skip that and especially this line he was gone — heart on the flatline. THIS DID SOMETHING TO MY HEART,, pretty long fic so I'll take some time out later but love I can already tell it's gonna be amazing like he was gone — heart on the flatline. YOU KNOWIM???
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⋅ GENRES: strangers to lovers & summer romance; angst, fluff & smut
⋅ PAIRING: street racer!Heeseung x fem!reader
⋅ WORD COUNT: 26.8K
⋅ WARNINGS: illegal street racing (oh, really?!); mentions of alcohol, implied driving while drunk; a fight scene, mentions of blood and bruises; Heeseung is flirty and it’s a concerning warning; skinny dipping; unprotected sex multiple times
dedicated to @end-hyphen ♡ thank you for hearing my brainstorms, my insecurities, and my stupid questions. thank you for reading all the drafts without telling me to shut up even though I deserved it. You are the best, soul sister!
                  TRACK 01 OF TAKE MY HAND
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Heeseung had never believed in love, at least not the real thing — not the capable of awakening his soul and bringing peace to his mind type of love.
It happened to other people, in other places, but not to him in the small county of Hongcheon. Yet, it did.
In the summer of his twenty-four years, you came into his life, and from the moment he saw you, he knew he was gone — heart on the flatline.
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Lee Heeseung wasn’t the type of person to obey the speed limits. He maybe once was, but after so many years in the race, he had become too impatient for it.
He liked the speed. He liked how the sound of the engine muffled his heartbeats, the way the gear stick felt familiar against the palm of his hand, and above all — he liked how, even if for just a few moments, he was capable of being free from everything.
If someone ever dared to take the road up the hills, it wouldn’t be hard to find him there — beneath the scorching sun and leaving only the idea of the memory of his black BMW as he raced through.
And it hadn’t been different on that first afternoon of summer.
Heeseung stepped on the brakes, raising a trail of smoke as the car squealed through the asphalt before coming to a stop. It didn’t take long until Jake followed suit, pulling beside him with his showy Camaro. However, the breeze barely had time to heal from all the racing noises before Heeseung shot the car forward and back, causing Jake to laugh loudly. Both of them, connoisseurs of the street races, knew Heeseung was inciting another race, even though they had just finished one.
“We have to head back,” Jake shouted. “Or else we are going to be late and Jungwon is going to be mad — I don’t like it when Jungwon is mad.”
The clock of the BMW showed precisely half past six, and the town was right beneath them. If they followed the speed limits they would arrive just on time, but if they didn’t — the possibilities were infinite.
“To the town’s entrance then?” Heeseung asked, making Jake laugh once again.
“Just down the hill,” he agreed. “It's summer and the highways are going to be full.”
“Deal.”
Jake stepped on the gas pedal, making the Camaro wail with no previous warning. It was a glorious car — with its capacity, Heeseung always thought it was an almost equal competitor to his BMW M4, but Jake always messed up the shift from the fourth to the fifth gear. It doesn’t matter how many times he raced, Jake always lost the precious second between them, and Heeseung always used it to blow by.
Through the rearview mirror, Heeseung saw Jake laughing at the already lost competition, but he didn’t hold to it for too long. Between a turn and another, Hongcheon spread beyond him, the beautiful town embroiled in the middle of a steady chain of hills and a sparkling river. The sky was an ideal shade of orange above it all, with not a single cloud to shade the late sunset.
The summer of his twenty-four years was beginning, although Heeseung didn’t know what it truly meant — yet.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
When you agreed to join your family on their annual summer trips after years of fully dedicating yourself to the university. You surely didn’t expect your first night away would be so university-like.
Your parents had chosen Hongcheon as the destination, a stunning and peaceful county just one hour away from Seoul. With a rented house on the hill and a back garden the size of a park, you expected a lay-down vacation — full of ice teas and watching sunsets on the back porch. Perhaps it would have been if the county wasn’t as well Hayoung’s hometown, your cousin and friendly guide as she entitled herself while she pulled you out of the front doors and into the summer night.
By the time you arrived at the house of whoever her colleague and party hostess was, the place was already full to its end, the strum of a low bass blasting through the opened door, and the interior heavy with the smell of alcohol, cigarettes, and too many damp skins.
“Hayoung!” someone screamed above the loud music.
The stranger stopped before both of you, his lazy smile and unfocused eyes only advising he was already wavering between the states of soberness and drunkenness.
“Who’s that?” he asked, pointing at you with the tip of his beer.
“Y/N, my cousin.”
“Lovely, I didn’t know you had one,” he said. You furrowed your eyebrow at that, a perfect mirror of your cousin’s reaction. If there was something to say, you didn’t know what it could be, and neither did Hayoung as she preferred to change the topic.
“Have you seen Sunhae?”
“Rooftop with that Jungwon guy of hers and his friends.”
“Thanks,” she said, fingers already curling around your elbow and guiding you away.
Everything that happened from the front hall to the rooftop was forgotten before the next step was taken. People stopped Hayoung to greet her and asked who you were in confusion. You shouted your name at strangers, and they shouted theirs back, both ends pretending it would be something they would keep and remember for more than a couple of seconds. A woman pressed two bottles of soju into your palms, the only thing you would have truly appreciated in the meantime if they clearly hadn’t been opened and were already missing a few sips when she did. You preferred to abandon them somewhere within the stairs.
Hayoung opened the rooftop door, gesturing for you to go in first, and when you did, immediately Hongcheon’s summer shrouded you. The music became just an echo through your feet and the darkness of the interior was taken by string lights hanging on the wooden beans. You had to blink a few times to get used to it, and only then you saw Sunhae, that Jungwon guy of hers, and his friends — the four of them focused on a dartboard poorly placed in one of the beams.
Sunhae was the first one to notice you, running to your cousin and briefly hugging her before she turned to you.
“Hi, I am Sunhae,” she said, her tone so cheerful that it was difficult to not feel welcomed. “Hayoung’s roommate in the university dorms, but you probably know it.”
“I do,” you smiled. “I am Y/N.”
“Oh, I know,” Sunhae laughed. “But those guys probably don’t know you and you probably don’t know those guys.”
“The smallest black-haired one is Jungwon,” she started. However, she didn’t need to finish her sentence for you to know it — not only because the stranger at the front hall called Jungwon hers, but because as soon as her eyes landed on him, it glinted. The silliest yet most honest indication of being in love. “My boyfriend.”
“The silvered-haired one is—”
“I am Jake,” he said, turning to you and extending his hand. “Jungwon’s roommate in the university dorms.”
He seemed so eager to share his role in Jungwon’s life that you couldn’t help but laugh at it, soft and airy, allowing the sound to blend in with the breeze.
“Y/N,” you said, taking his hand and shaking it.
As you looked at the last of them, he was already watching you. And there’s no way it hadn’t been something crafted inside of your mind, but for a brief moment, time seemed to have stopped. Ranging a little bit so, many years later, when that night became just a memory of your youth days, you would still remember how despite the warm weather he wore a leather jacket, a plain black t-shirt, and a silver necklace that glinted almost as much as his eyes beneath the summer sky.
“I am Heeseung,” he said, moving his gaze at Jake for a brief second before he turned back to you, smiling. “I don’t think I have something special to state.”
His accent didn’t escape you. You had already noticed the difference between Seoul and Gangwon residents, the way people from the province rolled the vowels and cut the end of the phrases making it hastened, but if anything, it only made his voice warmer.
“It’s nice to meet you,” you said. Heeseung extended his hand at you. It was a little bit too late for the greeting but you took it anyway, allowing him to fold his fingers around yours.
“Are you good with darts?” he asked.
“Darts? I think I can make my way through it.”
“Great,” Heeseung said. “I don’t want to lose and Jake is terrible at it, so you are my new partner.”
When you didn’t oppose it, he used your connected hands to pull you to him, and suddenly he was so close and the air stuffy. He smelled like the summer nights, like the brisk breeze of the county, like peonies, but as well as the leather of his jacket, and something that you remembered from the day your father taught you how to drive, the smokey scent when you couldn’t pull the car up the hill and forced the engine to its maximum.
“Should we bet?” Sunhae suggested. “We always bet.”
“Drinks?”
“Boring,” she paused, just for a brief moment before her face lighted up as if she had been struck with a great idea. “The carnival always needs volunteers.”
“It doesn’t seem bad,” Hayoung said.
“To operate the tents, but the losing team should volunteer to wear the sheep costume and hand the flyers.”
You laughed at the absurd, and Heeseung's eyes landed back on you again, his eyebrows lifted as amusement rushed through his face almost too fast to be noticed.
“Are you fine with this?” he asked.
“We aren’t going to lose, are we?” you asked instead, and his eyes glinted playfully at you.
“No.”
“So I am fine,”
“Do the honors, princess,” he said, extending one of the darts.
The nickname tingled through your body, making heat grow into your cheeks. Yet, Heeseung didn’t realize what he had said until a second later when your hand hung above the extended dart for a heartbeat more, but if anything, his smile widened.
Hayoung decided to be just a watcher together with Jake, making it you and Heeseung against Jungwon and Sunhae.
As the night went on and the party began to wind down on the floors below, you thought the bet had long been forgotten until Jake called everyone’s attention.
“Last round before we run out,” he announced. “Y/N has to score more than thirty points to have a direct win.”
“Excuse me? How much?” you demanded, making him laugh at your uneasiness.
“Thirty,” he repeated, enjoyment rushing through each pronounced letter. “or else you give an opportunity to Jungwon and Sunhae to win and Heeseung is wearing a sheep costume — not that I am hoping for it.”
You looked at Heeseung, uncertainties swaying your gaze. He hesitated only for a moment before he stepped behind you, one of his hands slightly resting on your waist as the other folded around your hand, positioning it.
“It’s her turn,” Jake protested.
“The dart is in her hand,” Heeseung replied with mischief.
Your head turned to him, drawing out a question. However, his breath brushed through your lips, the bitterness of the beer he had been drinking reaching through your tongue almost as if you were the one drinking it, and you allow it to slip and slide away, everything on you focusing on the small pressure of his fingertips on your skin.
“I am holding it for you,” he whispered, voice winding through your hair. Heeseung moved both of your hands, and you looked forward in time to see the dart sticking precisely at the center of the dartboard.
Jungwon screamed, abandoning the dart he wouldn’t have any opportunity to use on the table before he took Sunhae’s hand and rushed to the rooftop door. Jake laughed, following behind, and then you understood that it was their thing. Jake meant it when he said to run out. It was their way to leave and your chest ached to see this inner thing of theirs.
Hayoung stepped past you, a gentle smile traversing her lips before she as well rushed through the door, leaving it open for you and Heeseung.
There was a small pause, a small gap in time as he reached for the top of your head, threading his fingers through your hair as he gave a soft and quick pat.
“Thank you for saving me from the sheep costume,” he said, all mischief and teasing as he stepped back. You prepared yourself to hear him leaving too, the sound of his steps echoing together with the now turned-down music, but he didn’t walk away. Heeseung just stayed still, waiting for you to look at him so he could slightly tip his head at the door.
He led you downstairs, and when someone stumbled on you, he took your hand in his, pulling you close to him and shielding you from the party still going through the corridors until you are out into the warm summer night again. The stars hung so low in the sky, none of you really could tell if it was too late or too early.
“Can I drive you home?” he asked.
“With all due respect, I don’t trust drivers like you, Lee,” Hayoung interrupted. “And you have drunk too much, I am taking my cousin back home safely.”
“Fair,” Heeseung exhaled, looking at where your cousin stood. For an instant he faltered, his shoulders tightened as if he suddenly was carrying some weight. However, when he turned back to you, it was gone, he was smiling again. “Am I seeing you at the carnival?”
“Yes.”
His thumb brushed softly against the back of your hand before he let it go.
“Until then, princess.”
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Hongcheon was unbelievably warmer than Seoul. The sun had long disappeared through the horizon, yet remnants of the summer heat still lingered in the breeze, caressing your skin with a certain overprotective tenderness as you stood in the middle of the carnival.
You immediately could tell the place had some story with the county. The food carts were old in a lovely way, the tint faded with the number of years of the sun setting on them.
Heeseung was the first one to notice you lagging behind, head turning to everything but the group. You had already collected your picture of Jungwon in sheep costume, but even as you did it, you seemed distracted.
His hand met your elbow, startling you for a second before you noticed it was him.
“Distract much?” he smiled. “Are you alright?”
You exhaled, and the Ferris wheel spilling its mechanical music together with the coin-toss machines stole the sound of it.
“Sunhae made fun of me when I said it.”
“Sunhae would make fun of the world’s end,” he said. “Tell me, what’s it?”
“I have never been to a carnival and my mouth is watering to taste those toffee apples.”
“Toffee apples?” Heeseung asked, but there was no judgment in his words. Although he kept his smile, he didn’t laugh like Sunhae, he didn’t murmur city people beneath his breath like Hayoung. Heeseung simply looked between you and the toffee apple cart, his eyebrow raised before he held his hand at you. “I would prefer you telling me you never had snow cones or corn hot dogs, but fine.”
“I have never tried those too,” you said, placing your hand in his.
“And never rode bumped cars or a carousel?”
“Never.”
“We should do it in the proper way then,” he said, slightly leaning into your direction. You brightened at it, and he knew even though it seemed like a silly program, there was nothing he should rather do tonight.
He guided you through the crowd, hand clasp against yours. The line for the toffee apples was small, but the bumper cars seemed enormous just like all the other attractions, and Heeseung started an ask game. You liked the way he did it. It was more that he genuinely wanted to know about you instead of the polite questions to prevent a conversation from ending. But only when you were on the top of the Ferris wheel, summer breeze musing your hair in a way only the county’s warmth could manage, did he break the question he wondered the most.
“You really never went to a carnival?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Why so? There aren’t any carnivals in Seoul?”
“There are,” you said. “There was one in the same avenue of my middle school actually, it’s just a thing of mine. My parents never had much time to do those types of things when I was younger, they were just starting their business, and because of—”
“Well, I never had real friends during this period, they always wanted something from me. They invited themselves to my house, but it was because of the things I had and not because of me.”
“So somehow I was always too lonely to go. Of course, I had other friends during high school and I do have friends in University, but things are different,” you explained. “So yes, I never went to a carnival.”
When you finished, Heeseung had been silent for so long that you thought he had zoned out — leaving you to talk to the furor of the place.
But you looked at him, and he was there — staring at you with the oddest expression someone had ever turned on you. The deliberately unnerving, otherworldly stare that lasted several more seconds than was comfortable for two strangers who aren’t really strangers anymore, and your cheeks grew warmer. You were not sure why you decided to tell him about your life like this, you had met him just a few days previously. But it was summer, the season when people do things they would never think of, it was late at night, the world so warm that it felt safe to let secrets be spilled in the wind, and Heeseung — he felt safe too.
He leaned in, and his eyes flickered beneath the night, mischief glinting as if he wanted to tell you the most beautiful thing he had ever known.
“It sucks,” he said, however, and you laughed at this, head thrown back, the sound so carefree and soft it was impossible for him to not smile back at you.
He reached for the bar behind your shoulders, coming so close you didn’t only hear the next words, but you felt them rushing through your skin.
“But if you ever decide to binge all the attractions of a carnival again, or if you feel like doing anything you couldn’t — I am here,” he said, reaching for the top of your head, his fingers threaded through your hair as he gave the same soft and quick pat he did on the night of the party.
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There was something special about the night, an unfathomable pleasure in even the tiniest things.
By the time Heeseung and you left the Ferris wheels, the crowd was still far from thinning and the night far from giving away. Laughter filled every single gush of breeze together with the summer heat.
The only place left was the coin-toss machine to binge all the carnival attractions, and Heeseung immediately guided you there, fingers twinned on yours, he didn’t seem to want to let you go, and you didn’t mind it.
“How does it work?” you asked, taking him to the machine which caught your attention. It didn’t have a claw like the conventional ones, and the prizes stood on shelves — all of them way more expensive than stuffed animals.
“You select the number of the prize you want,” Heeseung explained. “Then you use the hammer to hit this handle here.”
He had to speak loudly for you to hear him beneath the sounds of the machines, something he thought to be inconvenient, so he inclined his head, his lips just centimeters apart from your ear before he continued.
“Based on the strength you used it will give you a number, if it’s the same number as the prize you selected, you win.”
“Seems rigged,” you said, turning to look at him. “But I want to try.”
Heeseung stared down at you, amused eyes shining beneath the colorful lights from the toss-coin machines.
“Ok,” he exhaled. “What prize do you want?”
“The analog camera,” you said, a single finger prodding the smudged plexiglass.
Heeseung was fast on taking off a coin from the pocket of his jeans, tossing it inside the machine and allowing it to glow, the music turning even louder. You watched as he fumbled through the buttons, putting in the number for the analog camera.
“Do the honors, princess,” he said, handing you the hammer.
However, when you hit the handle the number landed far from the desired one. Your lips curled in discontentment, and although Heeseung thought your expression was the cutest thing he had seen during his twenty-four years of living, there was a certain urge in him to make it disappear.
“Let me try,” he said, taking his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and putting a few of the spare coins he had in.
You handed him the hammer a second before the machine shone again, the mechanical music turning a bit louder to indicate it was ready for another failed try.
“Definitely rigged,” he exhaled. But again and again, Heeseung seized the wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, counted his coins, and inserted it in the machine. On the fourth time, he got tired of the whole process and simply asked you to hold the wallet for him.
Two couples waited behind and you smiled apologetically at them before you turned back at Heeseung.
“Heeseung, it’s ok — it’s forming a line.”
It was the first time you had ever said his name, and it caught him off guard. Not only because of your accent, but coming from your lips, it sounded soft and slow, almost as if you had stolen it and made it all yours.
“One more time,” he asked. “Just one more time.”
When he hit the handle again, you inclined yourself to his side, an innocent act for a better view of the changing numbers, but suddenly you were so close, and your perfume attained so strongly on his lungs that it felt more intimate than it. For a few seconds, Heeseung stayed still, unconsciously allowing his thoughts to slip away as he remained, once again, completely lost in the sense of you.
At the party, he thought you smelled like sunlight, like the spring flowers, and everything about warmth, but no, it was sweeter than that. Like sugar in the air, like a promise.
Your breath brushed through the exposed skin of his neck, leaving goosebumps on its wake and he barely noticed the numbers moving and reaching the exact digit for the analog camera.
“You did it.” you gasped, your hand reaching for his almost unconsciously. “Oh my, you did it.”
His gaze fell over you and he smiled — truly smiled. Heeseung grinned like a boy. The innocent act reflected through his eyes for a moment before he bent in and took the camera box and extended it for you.
“You should keep it,” you said. “It was all your perseverance.”
“It’s yours,” he replied. His delight was almost palpable.
“Come on,” one of the women behind said. “Take that box and give your boyfriend a thank you kiss.”
She had the same hasted accent as the Gangwon’s residents, and it took you a heartbeat longer to make sense of what she had said, but when you did, you immediately could feel the heat growing into your cheeks.
“He is not— he is not my—” you started, looking back at Heeseung, but he only held your gaze steadily. His eyes still sparkling with the echoes of his laugh and you let everything go with a single hitch of breath.
He reached for your hand again, the gesture already rushing through your skin with a familiarity that made your heart ache. He guided you away from the machines, yet the furor of the place was still high and wild, almost muffing his question when it finally came out.
“Can I kiss you?”
Heeseung didn’t seem the type of person to falter easily, but you could swear he was on the verge of it. He moved continuously through your silence, fingers tickling on yours, a shoulder twitched. He shook his head, just slightly, as if he was fixing his bangs, but it was just an attempt to hide the shyness in him.
You didn’t notice you had been holding your breath until a second later, when you felt your lungs loosening with the single word of confirmation you managed to utter.
You looked up at him and the carnival lights gilded your skin, holding you so preciously beneath the dark sky that Heeseung started to have second thoughts.
The moment seemed to take forever, it seemed to take no time at all. Your simple yes unfolded within the summer breeze slowly, blending together with the echoes of the night as he leaned in, reaching for you — his lips hovered just a few inches from yours as if he was checking if you would regret and move away. However, when you didn’t, he kissed you, his lips touching yours just for a second.
Heeseung pulled back, and the glittering carnival dazed both of you. Everything about the place invaded your senses for a quiet moment before he leaned in and kissed you again, this time with more feelings than thoughts. He slid a hand behind your neck, angling your head up and making your lips part for him.
Of course, you had been kissed before. However, never that way. Heeseung wanted to relish it, feeling you through each passing second of your connected lips. He did not want to let it go, memorizing you through each heartbeat as he just grazed his mouth against yours, catching his breath before he kissed you again and again.
You felt a laugh forming in the deep of your chest, but when it rolled out of your lips, preventing Heeseung from kissing you, he wasn’t annoyed at it. He just laughed back at you and you were so lost on him, and in the sound of it, that it took you a while to notice it was the very first time you were hearing him do such a thing.
“Can I drive you home?” he asked. “I promise I haven’t drank anything today.”
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The first time you had ever seen a BMW coupé had been during the summer of your first year in high school. Your father had thought it was a nice thing to take you and your mother to a car show, or perhaps he just wanted to go and pretended to genuinely think it was a nice plan. Anyway, you still remember how he followed the air around the car with the palm of his hands, the closed roof, and the fine lines of the only two doors of the gray BMW before turning to you.
“Should I buy it?” he had asked, making your mother grunt. It was a playboy’s car from her point of view, made for trouble and disorder.
And that was exactly Heeseung’s car.
The BMW M4 had been parked outside the carnival field, the street lamp sparkling through the black tint of the car. You manage to control your laugh for most of the way to your rented house, but when Heeseung stopped at a traffic light, the roar of the engine being the only audible thing through the night you couldn’t help but let it escape.
“What’s this?” Heeseung asked, slightly turning to look at you. The red light turned his hair copper, and maybe it had been because you are still high on sugar and him, maybe it had been because you had already shared too much with Heeseung, but you told him about that summer afternoon too.
“So you are telling me, your mother wouldn’t approve me?” he asked, a hint of tease in his tone. You doubted Heeseung worried about what your mother would think seeing him park the BMW in front of the house, yet still, your mind faltered.
“I-” you started.
But you were saved by a car coming beside the BMW. The sudden sound of tires squealing stormed through the once quiet street, but instead of pulling and staying still, the car kept shooting forward and falling back.
“What’s he doing?” you asked.
Heeseung didn’t reply to you, his hand had tensed above the gear stick, and he looked away, ahead to the road.
When the traffic lights turned green the other car blew by, a flash of white paint in the middle of the night.
“He wanted to incite a race,” Heeseung whispered. Your lips parted, not sure if it was for a genuine surprise or if your subconscious meant to say something, but Heeseung seemed unnerved and you let it slip and slide as he drove away.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
“Heeseung?” you called, in the same soft way, allowing it to echo through the interior of the BMW. He looked at you, just for a second taking in how your eyes were squinting as you looked through the lens at him before the analog camera flash came off.
“Do you know how to use it?”
“I hope so,” you said. “Imagine me using the whole film to find out I did it wrongly.”
Heeseung hummed at that, the sound coming so softly. He had parked in front of your rented house for minutes now, but you didn’t attempt to leave and he didn’t attempt to make you do.
“Thank you for tonight, and the camera,” you said.
Heeseung could feel the way the night was ending without a single promise of tomorrow. A full period instead of a break, and he disliked the thought.
“I want to see you again,” he whispered.
“I want you to see me again too.”
A laugh escaped from his lips, unintentionally too happy as he reached for his phone on the console and handed it to you. You took it without a second thought, typing away your number and when you handed it back to him, you leaned in, catching his bottom lips with yours. It wasn’t the same kiss he had given you in the carnival, lips touching just for a bare second — it was longer yet just teasing, before Heeseung could hold you, you had gone. You had slipped out of his reach and his car, rushing through the garden of the house and the front porch.
Heeseung couldn’t help but laugh at your doing, tilting his head at the window, he looked up at the sky. At Hongcheon there were never enough streetlights to obliterate the stars completely, and for the first time in a long while, his breath came easily beneath all of this.
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Heeseung had been a stranger on that first night of summer. He had been a confidante at the carnival. However, you had no idea who he was on the streets.
This part of Hongcheon was endlessly flat in comparison to the rest of the county. Meanwhile where you have been taking residence was built in the middle of emerald hills, this place was spread out over flat and dried fields.
You were aware it was somewhere at the outskirts of the county, so you weren’t surprised when the modest avenue ended on a highway. What surprised you was that instead of the normal traffic, a line of cars had been parked on the sides, their noses pointing at the middle of the highway, headlights illuminating what the streetlights couldn’t.
People circulated everywhere — around the cars, above the cars. Their cheers seemed to pierce through the closed windows.
For some long seconds, you thought Sunhae had indicated the wrong turn and Hayoung would make her way back through the road. But instead, she kept going, finding a place to park in the long line.
A few meters ahead two cars loomed, their speeds being nowhere near the legal limits as they passed by you and drifted a few meters ahead, tires squealing and leaving angry marks on the asphalt.
“What—” You started with an exasperated slowness. “Is this?”
“An illegal race?” Sunhae replied.
“And what are we doing here?”
Hayoung and Sunhae exchanged a knowing look above the gearshift, and no one needed to be a genius to know they were silently talking with each other.
“We came to watch?” Sunhae said. It had been an affirmation, but the way her voice raised at the end subtly turned the period into a question mark.
You felt your body turning cold. It wasn’t like you had prepared yourself to watch a street race when you had woken up that morning. It wasn’t like you had prepared yourself to participate in something illegal when you entered Hayoung’s car that night. She had messaged you telling you to be ready at nine and that was simply what you had done. Pretty dress, high heels, and pins on your hair.
As if she thought about the same thing, your cousin met your gaze through the rearview mirror.
“I can take you home,” she said.
“It’s alright,” you whispered, and although it carried all your uncertainty, it was enough to make them both leave after a single harsh breath, gathering in front of the car’s hood.
“Jungwon— he casually races,” Sunhae said as you joined them. It was so loud outside that she had to incline herself to speak to you. “Jake too, so you know—”
Hayoung slapped her arm to shut her up. However, you had already seen him, or rather his car — the black BMW spun through the highway, raising a trail of smoke before it lushly parked along the cars at what you judged to be the starting line.
Your breath shuddered out of you. The breeze subtly echoed beneath all the noises as Heeseung climbed out of the car and joined Jake and Jungwon in the small circle of racers.
There was something unfamiliar about him — something ferocious, noisy, and unsettled. This wasn’t the Heeseung you had met at the party, much less the Heeseung who had led you through the carnival with his hand curled on yours. This was the Heeseung who fit the BMW, the leather jacket, and the mischievous grin. This was a Heeseung you weren’t sure you knew who he was.
Heeseung had been smiling at everyone, but he faltered when he spotted you. He had this inconvenient feeling that he had stopped in time. His surroundings kept going, blistering in the loud engines and cheers, but he was stuck on how you were there, suddenly seeing this tainted part of him.
He doesn’t remember the decision of moving, he only knew he did, giving one step in your direction before Jake held his arm.
“Later,” he said, like a reminder. And Heeseung forced himself to retract, to place his bet along with the rest of the racers, forcing himself to hear about the course he knew all too well. He forced himself to walk to his BMW and turn the key.
He eased his foot off the clutch, pressing down on the gas he managed to hold the car in check. The engine was alive beneath him, the sound quelling his heartbeats as he reached for the gear stick. He closed his eyes at the familiarity of the moment, but as soon as the darkness welcomed him, you were there again — burning like sunlight.
He turned his focus back to the streets in time to see the light switching, the red turning into green and without any prelude, the car burst from the starting line. The street lights flickered and flared above him.
Heeseung knew this place well enough to not need to think before exchanging the gears, he just kept in mind he needed to come back faster than ever.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
“I will take the awkward exchange of looks as a confirmation that Heeseung didn’t tell you about all of this,” Hayoung said, taking your attention from the highway ahead. The racing cars had already disappeared into the distance, leaving only the idea of the memory behind.
“He didn’t,” you admitted. “It’s not something you can say to someone you don’t know, right?”
“Well, I agree,” she said. “But you are my cousin, he knows me, and he has stuck on you since the party, he should have—”
“It’s alright,” you replied.
You knew Hayoung wasn’t the type of person to give up easily on a discussion, so the moment she opened her mouth to say something more, you turned away, taking in the furor of the place. The cheers had eased, for a great part, but everything was so loud still with the sound of those car’s engines.
“How long does it take?” you asked.
“Not much, they just take the next return and come back here.”
It didn’t take long at all.
The familiar BMW was the first one to pass the finish line. However, Heeseung didn’t slow, he didn’t even look back as he won the race. His car only came to a full stop once he was in front of you — the driver’s door being hardly pushed as the headlights kept flickering through the night.
“Please, let’s talk,” he said, his gaze meeting you as if there were no one else in his eyes sight.
Hayoung reached for you, squeezing your arms as if she was attempting to give you assurance.
“It’s fine,” you said, meeting her gaze. “Sunhae is probably staying with Jungwon, are you alright with driving back alone?”
“Of course,” she replied. “I came thinking it was how my night was ending,”
“Just fasten your seatbelt, and hold on tight, I still don’t trust them on a wheel.”
When you turned back at Heeseung, he had already walked toward you, causing you to bump into him. His hands immediately found your waist, preventing you from tripping. But even as you stood completely still, he continued holding you, his fingers coming up and down through the bodice of your dress.
“Princess,” he said. It almost didn’t sound like a call, but a plea. A longing where it was supposed to have just the tease you were already used to.
“Alright, let’s talk.”
Heeseung guided you to his car, one of his hands sliding to the small of your back as he opened the passenger door for you, waiting for you to slip in before he closed it with a soft slam.
The drive was surprisingly quiet. Heeseung hadn’t spoken the whole way back, he just stayed there —  occasionally brushing his gaze towards you as if with a single moment he hadn’t checked on you, you would disappear without a trace. Only when you had reached the town did he speak, but it had been so soft it almost got lost in the breeze before you could even clasp them.
“Is it ok if I take you further into the hills?”
“Yes, of course.”
Heeseung drove into the hills, passing the entrance to your rented house without a second look and going further onto bendy roads that all of a sudden spread on an open field. The town shone beyond it all.
“A few years ago they were going to build a dozen houses like your rented one,” he said, stepping on the parking brake. “They prepared the field but for some reason, they gave up on it.”
“I come here with Jake and Jungwon a lot to — race.”
And that was it, the breaking word.
Heeseung slid his hands through the wheel, slowly bringing them into his lap before he decided to rest it above the gear stick.
“I am not used to telling people about it.”
“I can understand why, genuinely” you said. “So you don’t have to tell me anything that you aren’t comfortable with.”
“I wanted to,” he said. “At the party, I thought of asking if you wanted to go watch the race. At the carnival, I thought of telling you,”
“But you are so—” his gaze encountered you, taking in your whole being before he stopped, letting the words slip and slid away with a single hitch of breath. He couldn’t simply tell he thought you shone like a heart of gold. It was foolish, cringe even. So Heeseung stayed silent, turning back to the town and watching it spread beyond both of you, the interlocked pattern of colored lights.
It made a strange image of him, he seemed so grandiose mirroring all those lights that it somehow made him frail. And it suddenly occurred to you how Heeseung was good at only allowing people to see what he wanted them to. He wanted everyone to see him as confident, bright — ferocious during the races and you wondered what it meant that he allowed you to see through the fissures.
His shoulders tightened as if he suddenly was carrying some weight — whatever he was about to tell you, it was something he had been keeping for himself for years.
You reached for him, palm resting above the back of his hand on the gear stick.
“My parents studied their whole lives together,” Heeseung started, the words leaving his lips clumsy and strangely by the unused of being said. “They started dating during high school and my mother got pregnant not long after their graduation. But there was the thing — they are too young and my mother knew it.”
“Although she tried to endure it, someday she simply couldn’t anymore and left.”
You hadn’t noticed your grip above his hand had tightened until you felt Heeseung shifting beneath your touch, turning his palm to you and slowly interlacing your fingers.
“I am so sorry.”
“It’s alright, honestly,” he replied. “It’s not like I remember much of her — and I grew up well with my grandma and father.”
“A few years ago, my father got really sick — after his funeral, I took his car, it was such an old Toyota. I bet it was the first time it ever really raced,” he smiled, but there was an ache in it, a sadness that you could almost reach. He looked at you again, as defenseless he had ever been. “I found the street racing spot by accident. But they said I was good and I kept going.”
“First it was for freedom, but the money became a great necessity after a few months — my grandma couldn’t work, I had to give up on the university.”
“You did what you could,” you whispered. “It’s alright, Heeseung.”
The moment seemed to stretch, seconds feeling like minutes and when you lifted your interlaced hands to your lips, kissing the back of Heeseung’s hand, you didn’t know how long had passed.
“Do you want to race right now?”
“I do.”
“Take me somewhere?” you asked.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
When the BMW reached the town’s outskirts, Heeseung allowed the car to climb in speed, his hand curling familiarly around the gear stick. He never took his eyes off the road, and you saw on his face how much he loved it. The bright and long-acquainted happiness he had with the speed.
Your heart quelled every time Heeseung did a turn, and he reached out, letting go of the wheel and searching for you through the small inches in between.
“I am here,” he said. You pinch his fingers lightly because you knew — and it made the whole difference.
Heeseung only dropped down a few gears near the edges of the county, being caught on the invisible line separating the road from the beach.
You opened the window, allowing a gust of summer air to spread through the car as a laugh escaped from you, unhesitating and unselfconscious. The sky was impossibly clean tonight, making the sea an endless reflection of the stars.
You didn’t ask Heeseung to stop — you didn’t need to. The moment he looked at you, taking a glimpse of your sparkling eyes, and lips tugging with the echoes of your laughter, he just knew it was the right thing to do.
You leaped from the BMW before Heeseung had even turned the engine off, already barefoot and rushing through the white sand as his phone chimed at the console. His grandma probably, Jake or Jungwon, there was no one else, but the problem with having so few people in his life was that he had to pick up.
“Summer is indeed the best season,” Jake said at the other end of the line. “I got the money for you,”
“Do you have any idea how much you made tonight? I am blasted.”
“You said it last week when Daekho exposed how much he got,” Heeseung pointed out, a soft chuckle escaping from him.
“Trust me this time,” Jake said. “I am genuinely blasted. But talking about Daekho, he said he saw you a few nights ago, and you turned down a race — you never turn down a race.”
The sound of your laugh echoed through the night, causing Heeseung to raise his head to you and the view suddenly made him stop, phone still on his ear, mind in the middle of a phrase he would never say.
The moon was barely a quarter of what it could be, but it stood high and bright in the sky, bathing you as if you were something so precious that it decided to shine a little bit more just because of you.
You had walked into the sea, the water hitting your thighs, damping the hem of your dress. The camera he had won for you in the carnival was in your hands pointed at the satellite, and he wondered if you were taking it everywhere. It was something so simple, but it brought a warm sense inside of him.
As if you had felt his burning gaze over you, you turned to him, meeting his gaze through the windshield.
You were already painfully beautiful like this, but the moment you smiled at him — something stirred and moved inside of him.
“Hee?” Jake called by the other end of the line.
“It was on the night of the carnival, Y/N was with me,” he replied. “Jake, listen, I have to hang up, I will call you tomorrow.”
“Are you still with Y/N?”
“Yes.”
“Oh! Have fun, mate.”
Heeseung threw the phone back into the console, taking off his shoes, he followed you down the shore and into the sea, splashing farther into the water until his jeans were damped to his knees.
“Your jeans,” you gasped, but he only shook his head, he could care less about it.
“Are you carrying it everywhere?” he asked. He wasn’t looking at the camera, yet something incited that everything about his actions was about the small object now hanging by the security strip on your wrist.
“Yes.”
For a long and unsettled moment, Heeseung stared at you, his chest heaving with his deep breaths. He took one more step to reach you and suddenly, he was so close and the night so still. All you could feel was the calm rhythm of the sea beneath your feet, the soft hustle of his breath against your skin before a cold wind blew through, sweeping your hair out of the pins and to his cheeks, causing him to lift his hand, twisting the loosened lock between his fingertips before he brushed it behind your ear. It was a ridiculous thing to do. The wind kept blowing through and loosening it, but he didn’t mind doing it again and again. Until he decided to simply hold it, palm resting against your cheek as his fingers twined on your hair.
Heeseung called for you, and your skin tingled beneath the moonlight. No one ever said your name like he did — so slow and deliberate as if he wanted to taste the sound of each letter rolling through his tongue.
You couldn’t help but lean yourself into him, fingertips against his abdomen as you caught his bottom lip with yours. It wasn’t the first time you had given him this soft, teasing, and too-quick kiss. In fact, Heeseung already considered it something of yours, and he had scrutinized this so many times that his hand was fast on moving further into your hair, holding you still.
“I am not letting you slip away tonight,” he whispered.
“I would never,” you huffed. And Heeseung laughed at that, the sound blending with the summer breeze for a short moment before his lips slid over yours easily, perhaps too easily.
When he kissed you at the carnival, there was something of searching and discovering on it, but here — with his thumb caressing the sides of your neck, and your fingers slipping precisely to where his heart thrummed against his chest, it was all knowing. His tongue brushed against your lips, and you opened your mouth for him, letting him slide his tongue over yours. You could feel him groaning, his whole body reacting when you curled your fingers on his t-shirt.
You gasped for air, pulling away. But, Heeseung was still leaning in, eyes closed, lips parted as he followed you through the few inches you created.
“Princess,” he called. “I thought you were not slipping away.”
“Sorry,” you said. However, Heeseung just shook his head in reply, a mischievous grin spreading through his lips as he brought your face back to him, but instead of catching your lips again, he pestered you with quick kisses all over your face.
You laughed, not sure if it was because of his doings or the ticklish feeling of his lips smoothing your whole face. But even to your own ears, you sounded so happy — so happy beneath all of this.
As the night wore on, the temperature dropped and you shivered in the cold, immediately causing Heeseung to shrug his leather jacket off, draping around your shoulders and adjusting it the best way he could despite the difference of size.
It smelled like him. The strong scent of leather blended with car exhaustion, but also the sweet scent of peonies and the brisk breezes of summer nights.
“We should go back,” he said, looking up at the sky. The stars were already starting to low, weakly gleaming through his eyes. “It’s late anyway.”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
“The princess is back in her castle,” Heeseung said, making a chuckle escape from your lips.
However, instead of finding something to reply, you simply reached for your seatbelt, unfastening it a second before your hands curled at the sleeve of his jacket, starting to pull it away.
“It’s alright, give me back another day,” he said.
“Alright,” you whispered. “Thank you for driving me home again — I hope it isn’t out of the way for you.”
“I could lie and say you are worth the trouble just to sound like a nice guy,” Heeseung started, the corner of his lips tugging up. He was fighting a battle with a smile and almost losing it. “I live two streets down from here, a beige house with a brown roof and matching shutters.”
“It seems pretty much like most Hongcheon’s houses,” you replied, slightly leaning to his side of the car, and Heeseung reached for you promptly.
The porch lights were on, gently illuminating your face with little strips of gold. He traced each one of them with the tip of his fingers before he finally gave in and smiled. You were so beautiful, he could die all day and every night just to miss you.
“You are right, but there are remarkable things about it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Heeseung echoed. “You will always hear a culinary program coming from the TV, it will be my grandma in the living room, and the place always smells like something just baked — it is also her.”
“Seems cozy.”
“Also the garden is full of white flowers — really easy to find,” he continued. “But in any case, the number is 215.”
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Just like the whole town, Heeseung’s house was a remnant from the eighties — with its pale walls, brown roof, and matching shutters, it blended in with all the other houses on the street. But as Heeseung described, the house sat in the middle of a garden, the white flowers accompanying you through the whole path from the sidewalk to the front porch. 
The door opened at your first knock, quickly revealing an old lady. It wasn’t necessary to wonder about her — not only because you knew Heeseung lived with his grandmother, but because her appearance was uncannily like his. Although she carried some signs of age on her gray hair, the shiny doe-eyes peering through the curls were there, seeming to be a family thing.
“Good afternoon,” you started, a tentative smile tugging on your lips as you looked at her. “I am Y/N, Heeseung’s-”
“Heeseung!” His grandmother screamed, startling you. “Why there’s such a pretty girl asking for you at my front door?”
Heeseung appeared at the end of the corridor, eyebrows furrowed. He seemed as braced as anyone could be standing barefoot in washed jeans and a white tank top — until his eyes landed on you.
“Y/N,” he called, pronouncing your name with the same deliberate slowness he had on the previous night and making your skin tingle.
In your periphery, Heeseung’s grandmother drifted her gaze between both of you, taking in how Heeseung reached from across the corridor — with his expression smoothed, his eyes were allowed gleam beneath the sunlight and his lips to tug into a smile too genuine to be only politeness.
When he reached the door, she turned around, leaning to his side as if she was about to whisper a great secret to her grandson, but instead, her words were spoken loud enough for both of you to hear.
“Invite her inside,” she said, walking away and leaving both of you a little bit astonished.
“I just came to bring your jacket, I don’t want to bother you.”
“You would never,” he answered. His fingers curled around the door handle, opening it a little wider as he completely ignored how you had extended the jacket at him. But although his actions seemed confident, he slightly inclined his head, shaking it as if to fix his bangs, but you had already seen it enough to know, he was embarrassed.
You brought the jacket back to your chest, hugging it as you stepped inside. Immediately, the comfortable smell of chocolate surrounded the air. Heeseung wasn’t lying when he told you about the never stopping oven, just like he wasn’t lying about the culinary program always on the selected channel of the television. But you wished he had told you about everything else too, so at least, you wouldn’t be so surprised right now.
You had grown up with a meticulous amount of order. The houses you lived in were always spacious, squeaked clean, minimalist even, so you didn’t know how to react as soon as you caught sight of the inside.
It was tiny, even if taken in comparison to the row houses on the outskirts of the county, and was made even smaller with the amount of plants scattered through the corners.
Afternoon sunlight spilled from the back windows of the kitchen, batching everything until it reached the entrance corridor. You couldn’t tell if the warmth came solely from the sun or if it had something to do with the beige walls, the mismatched colorful furniture, and the small chaos only houses built with love are capable of possessing.
Everything felt so cozy and summer-made that you couldn’t imagine a better place to spend the season in.
“Princess,” he called, and you hummed, turning to look at him. However, Heeseung was already bending on a knee, fingers fumbling through the straps of your high heels and removing them, one at a time.
“Now you are ready to go.”
“Thank you.”
Heeseung stood up, bottling out the sunlight with his real height, casting you in the shadow. And if it wasn’t enough to make you coil, the way he reached for you, hands cupping the sides of your neck was.
“You are good at reading between the lines,” he said.
“Am I? Or had you been just insistent?” you asked, making a chuckle escape from Heeseung. It was a soft, almost not there thing, but you could feel it rushing through your cheeks, the hustle of his breaths warming your skin.
Heeseung leaned in, catching your lips with his. It wasn’t his intention to make it fast, but the moment his grip tightened on your skin trying to bring you closer to him, his grandma screamed again, demanding both of you to come to the kitchen.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
The kitchen felt fuller than ever — not that it was a difficult thing, just like the whole house, it was tiny, scarcely giving enough space to three people to walk through, but there was something about having you there that made it full in a different way.
You were polite enough to ask if his grandmother needed help, and his grandmother was amusing enough to allow you, leaving Heeseung to watch from the kitchen table as you learned how to prepare a chocolate tart with an unreasoning smile.
“When Heeseung was younger, chocolate tarts with strawberries were his favorite,” his grandmother told you. “He always asked how would he leave me if I am the only one who knows how to prepare it in the way he likes,”
“But now that I am teaching you, he may leave me and go with you.” she finished, causing Heeseung to choke on the air. However, you only laughed at it, head thrown back. The sun had started to set by that time, sprinkling through the windows in tones of orange and pink, but when it reached you — it was all gold.
He knew his grandmother had said something else, but it sounded a world apart from where he stood. You had looked at him, your laughter had turned into a soft smile and it suddenly made him comprehend why the kitchen felt fuller than ever.
You not only materially filled the place, but you also filled it with warmth and light.
“Hee?” his grandmother called. He hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation for some time now and before he could state it, the house phone rang, saving him from another embarrassment.
He stood up, walking out of the kitchen as you both were just making sense of the phone ringing.
“You and Y/N have mobile phones, you know it, right?” Jungwon asked at the other end of the line.
“What?”
“Y/N was supposed to meet Sunhae and Hayoung in the drive-in cinema, she hasn’t shown up and is not picking up the phone.”
“And how did you figure she is with me?” Heeseung asked, his eyebrows involuntarily furrowing in confusion.
“You didn’t pick up when I called too,” Jungwon sighed. “Just tell her that the girls are waiting inside.”
Jungwon hung up so softly, it took another second for Heeseung to notice he did and another one to let go of it.
“I didn’t realize the time,” you explained, as soon as he was back.
“I can drive you there,” Heeseung said.
“Do you need to leave?” his grandmother asked. “Already?”
“I am supposed to meet my cousin and her friend.”
“It is a shame that it was so fast, but it was lovely to meet you,” his grandmother said, taking your hands in hers. “Please — please, come back.”
Although the moment seemed to be crafted in the warmth of the summer sunset, there was something frantic about the way she was holding you. Heeseung’s grandmother squeezed your hands almost as if she didn’t want you to walk away from her house — almost as if she was afraid you were taking something important together with you. And it took you anew.
You looked at Heeseung in search of answers, but he just returned your gaze as confused as you.
“She surely will, grandma,” Heeseung said, a gentle smile playing at the corners of his lips. However, it only made her squeeze tighten on you, just for a brief second before she let you go.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
By the time Heeseung parked the BMW on the outskirts of the drive-in cinema, the movie had already started, Rachel McAdams dancing beneath the street lights with Ryan Gosling on the big screen. And even though you knew you were late, you stayed still, watching as the scene unfolded.
People had different favorite scenes of The Notebook, the kiss in the rain, perhaps the beach when they said the famous If you are a bird, I am a bird. However, for you, it always had been this one — the real beginning of everything.
Heeseung looked at you, but he didn’t say anything about you being late, and how your cousin was annoyed somewhere inside, if anything he reached for the space behind his seat, taking the same leather jacket you had left in one of his kitchen chairs a few hours previous, and put it on your lap.
“The temperature always drops during the night,” he explained.
“I just gave it back to you.”
“Give it back to me another day.”
You looked up at him, and he smiled. The words had left his lips effectively, even with a note of tease on it, but still carrying a real meaning, Heeseung wanted to see you again tomorrow. And because you wanted to see him again too, you nodded, slipping the jacket through your shoulders.
“Alright,” you agreed.
“Alright?” he echoed, leaning across the gearshift. Heeseung reached for you, his lips finding yours at the same time his fingertips pressed to the side of your neck. You tasted like chocolate and strawberries that night, the sweet delation you had been stealing the ingredients while preparing the tart, and he couldn’t help but smile.
If the whole afternoon hadn’t been homey enough, this — this kiss had been.
“I should go,” you whispered, drawing back, yet you were so close to him still, each word had been a brush against his lips.
“I know,” he replied, with a small sigh. Heeseung was reluctant to pull himself away, but he did, letting you slip from the BMW and walk into the cinema.
You tightened his jacket around your body, tugging the collar up to your mouth. His scent was already starting to fade in, giving space to yours, only when you snuggled your nose on, you could feel the odd combination that Heeseung was. All mischief and sweet, all substantial and soft.
A nearby car left the windows open, the radio connected to the big screen loud and allowing you to hear the exact moment Gena Rowlands asked James Garner:
“Did they fall in love?”
“Yes, they did,” he replied.
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Saturday’s nights smelled like car exhaustion and burnt tires, like the leather of Heeseung’s jacket and his peony perfume when he brought you closer to him, lips against yours, fingers threading on your hair. Saturday’s nights were the break of the perfect serenity of Hongcheon, the whispers of the emerald hills turning into the loud sound of the racing cars beneath the street lights.
Heeseung had never missed a race, leaving you behind with Sunhae, Hayoung, and a kiss.
“Be my lucky charm once more, alright?” he always whispered, an amusing smile playing on his lips before you both broke into a laugh.
However, tonight he parked his BMW on the sides of the highway, joining the long line of watchers instead of racers. Heeseung didn’t say anything as he slipped through his door, leaving you to sit still, watching him walking to your side of the car in confusion — on any other night he would open the door for you, intertwine your finger, and take you to where Hayoung and Sunhae waited. But with all the unknown turns, he took you to the front of his car.
He sat on the hood, and it was necessary just an exchange of gazes for him to bring you to his lap. His arms came around your waist, coaxing you to come closer enough to feel his breaths rushing through your skin.
“Are you alright?” you asked. “You always race.”
“Jake and Jungwon had made a bet among themselves, they said I couldn’t join because I win way too much,” he said, leaning on you, his forehead meeting your temple. “Apparently, since I got my lucky charm, I am not letting them have the first place.”
You knew it was just a lie — a tease, Heeseung was one of the favorites before you had even stepped on Hongcheon, but you let him, brushing his nose down to your neck and tickling you with his breath.
A few meters behind, in the middle of the highway, the racers were already in their places, the engines roaring as they held the cars in check. Jungwon had his hand out, pointing at Jake through the opened windows as if to remind him of their secondary bet. If you focused enough, you could almost hear them laughing beneath the furor of the place.
“Did you meet them here?” you asked. “Jake and Jungwon?”
“No, we met at the university,” Heeseung said. “When I dropped out, I think they thought I was slipping away, so they started coming back during weekends to visit, and when I told them about the racing they decided to join,”
“Something for us three to do still.”
“They are good friends.”
“They are,” he agreed. His tone was calm, with the same warmth you were used to, but you could pinch the small longing it carried. Everything Heeseung had given away after his father’s death weighed on him still. You reached for him, fingers spreading beneath the collar of his jacket and t-shirt, finding his bare skin. He shivered at your touch, snuggling his nose a little deeper into you.
“I am very lucky,” Heeseung whispered. “About everyone I have in my life.”
“They are lucky to have you too.”
“Do you think so?”
“I am sure so,” you said, and you didn’t need to look at him to know he was smiling at it.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
Through the weeks you had watched the races, you had never seen Jake win, and perhaps that’s why his reaction had been so amusing to you.
His Camaro squealed through the asphalt, passing the finish line with a lush drift before he came to where you stood together with Heeseung, hurling his window open.
“Let’s go,” he shouted.
“Where?” Heeseung asked.
“Beneath a bridge? The bar? I don’t care!” Jake exclaimed, quickly stealing a laugh from you. “I won and Jungwon is paying for everything tonight!”
The Camaro wailed with no previous warning, disappearing through the highway in a flash and leaving no further choice aside from following him.
The bar made a home on the outskirts of Hongcheon, coming so close to the coast that even at night, you could see how sunlight and bracing breezes had worked on this part of the province.
It held no signs, no shining lights, the facade had nothing but a worn-out red tint and a black door. It simply was called the bar because —
“What else do you call a bar without a name?” Heeseung asked, opening the door for you.
You knew it had to have a name, but instead of debating you allowed it to slip away with a single shake of your head before you stepped past him.
The interior was darker, blasting in some electronic music, and although there were just a few tables, this late at night people were already too high to prefer to sit still instead of being on the dance floor, leaving a bunch of options for you.
Hayoung sprawled herself on the nearest chair, immediately being followed by Sunhae and Jake.
“I am getting the drinks,” Jungwon announced. “Is everyone getting beer?”
“A coke,” Heeseung said. It didn’t require explanations, but he did anyway, shouting above the loud music. “I have to drive Y/N home.”
“OK, lover boy,” Jake laughed. “Why don’t you help Jungwon get everything?”
With his ears tingling, Heeseung was too embarrassed by the nickname and the situation to oppose, so he just turned around, following Jungwon through the furor of the place.
Jake waited until both of them were far, and completely out of sight before he stood up, just to claim the chair by your side.
“You bewitched him,” he said. “Have been ages since I last saw him like this.”
“Like this?” you echoed.
“I have known Heeseung for four years and something now, so I can tell after his father’s death, smiling and chuckling around — it simply wasn’t him,”
“Also not drinking because he has to drive?” Jake laughed, this time so loudly, you could swear it somehow echoed through the place. “He never once cared about it and by never I mean even before his father,”
“Believe me, Y/N, whatever spell you put on the man — you saved him.”
You blinked at Jake, not knowing what to say. And before you could think about it, Sunhae’s hand met yours from beneath the table, taking your attention.
“I love this song,” she said, dragging you through the crowd and into the dance floor. Everything happened so fast, a lost breath between what Jake had said, Sunhae’s hands clasped on yours, and Hayoung’s laugh because for once she wasn’t the one being forced to the dance.
Sunhae encouraged you too. However, your eyes kept traveling to the table, waiting for Heeseung to come back, to notice your absence and search for you.
You looked at each for seconds too long, his eyes lingering, hands caught in the middle of scattering the drinks through the table.
It was stupid honestly, how whenever he thought he was used to your beauty, you managed to surprise him, standing in a new light and taking him anew. You were bathed in the shine of the red and purple flashing from the fairy lights, eyes sparkling, lips a little bit parted with rescue words ready to slip through. However, you didn’t need to pronounce any of those. Heeseung was already walking towards you, acting as if there was no one else in his eyesight.
He only stopped behind you, hands finding your hips — bringing you close to his chest, aligning your bodies in all the right places. It wasn’t the rescue you were expecting, but you forgot about it the moment his laugh echoed through your body.
It’s not that you doubted Jake, but you couldn’t imagine a Heeseung that didn’t laugh like this. The sound was so perfect that it hurt you to imagine a period in which it never existed.
Heeseung seemed created for this joyful and unconditional happiness.
As he leaned on you, you could feel the ghost of his smile on your skin — his breath brushing through your shoulders before he found the base of your neck with a kiss. You tilted your head back, and Heeseung took the opportunity to trail you with kisses, reaching your earlobe with an exasperated slowness before he pinched the sensitive skin.
“Hey, princess.”
You turned around, pressing your fingertips against his chest. In the middle of the furor of the place, you still could feel the cadence of his heart, the way it hammered against your touch.
“What-” he started, but the rest of his question was cut off — taken by your lips on his. He gasped at your sudden action, yet it was muffed when your tongue slid against his. You were demanding in a way he couldn’t remember you ever being. Your fingers curled on his t-shirt, pulling him closer, and he allowed himself to grip your waist. Your dress was so thin, he could feel your skin beneath it, all warm and his as he ended the small inch you failed to.
He kissed you deeper, a little messier, and a small whine escaped from you.
“Go get a room in the name of lord,” someone screamed, so close it hadn’t left any doubt it was for you and Heeseung.
You both parted, lips swollen from kissing, sucking, and causing you to bury your face in his chest, but Heeseung only laughed — the same joyful and happy sound echoing through your body before he reached for the top of your head, tangling his fingers on your hair as he gave a soft pat.
“I think we can call it a night.”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
It was later than usual when you arrived at the rented house that night, far later than when your parents used to recoil to their room. But when you stepped inside, the lights of the back porch were still on, a faint echo of a conversation coming through the opened door — not only with the two known voices of your parents but with a third one.
“Grandma,” you smiled.
If you weren’t so happy, you would have stopped for a few seconds, taking note of Heeseung’s jacket still hanging on your shoulders and your still a bit swollen lips. You would have taken a moment to compose yourself. But you only rushed through the house, and the back porch, hugging the old lady.
“When did you arrive?” you asked.
“I am pretty sure the sun was still shining, but someone seems really busy this summer to care about answering her phone.”
“Sunghoon has been complaining about it,” your mother added. “Send him a message once in a while — the boy has been wondering about you.”
“I am sorry,” you said, more directed to what your grandmother said than to your mother.
“So please, enlight me,” your grandmother asked, hands traveling through the collar of Heeseung’s jacket, preventing it from slipping away before she pinched your cheeks. “Your parents were telling me, were you with Hayoung or the mysterious guy in the black BMW?”
You gasped, embarrassed and surprised Heeseung had been the topic of their conversation.
“This same car has dropped you here a lot through the last month,” your father pointed. “We were just wondering if we ever going to meet—”
“His name is Heeseung,” you said. “Lee Heeseung.”
“Right, why don’t you invite this Heeseung to lunch on Monday? Some of my friends are coming here.”
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The house on the hill had been a dream for any Hongcheon resident. It used to be just an old and abandoned three-story construction until some businessman decided to buy it and renew it to make a summer rented house — then, it became too grandiose for the modest town. All made with white bricks and having Greek columns supporting the roof, it could be called a manor instead. And ever since the first moment, Heeseung wasn’t amused that your family was the one renting the place for the summer.
It fitted you, the class, the grandiose, the evergreen garden that bloomed flowers throughout the whole year. You were made to this, and he would be lying if he ever said it never scared him — he would be lying if he ever said it wasn’t scaring him now.
The driveway was full beneath the summer sun, your father’s black suburban leading a line of parked convertibles and worth-it sedans. Heeseung was glad that at least his BMW fit in the whole scenery because he wasn’t so sure of himself.
As he walked through the driveway, he noticed the front door hung open for anyone to come inside, but there was something about the idea of not having the small break between the knock and the door swinging open that made him anxious, tugging on the sleeves of his dark suit with frantic hands.
He stood there, unsure of what to do, but you came to him, rushing through the living room, white dress swirling dangerously around your thighs before you hugged him.
“You came,” you whispered, words threading through his hair.
Maybe it had been the summer heat, maybe it had been the sweetness of your perfume, and the way you had turned the full force of your joy into his direction. But instead of replying, he just stood still, lost in the sense of you.
Only when you stepped back, he reminded himself. You took sight of him, and your eyes flicked beneath the afternoon sun. You never have seen Heeseung wearing anything that wasn’t a combination of his jeans, shirts, and leather jacket, so the full view of him in a suit and a tie astonished you.
“Is it too much?” he whispered.
It was, it really was, but you were so happy he was there — so happy he cared that you let it all pass with a single shake of the head.
“They settled the lunch in the back garden,” you said. “I am just afraid you will get a heat stroke.”
Heeseung exhaled, a bit too harshly as he slightly inclined his head. But he didn’t need to finish his small rite, shaking his head and pretending to fix his bangs like he always did, you already knew he was embarrassed. So you didn’t say anything as you interrupted him, taking his hands in yours, and guiding him further into the living room. You didn’t say anything as you reached for his shoulders, rushing your hands beneath the heavy suit and removing it.
Heeseung was well aware the piece was cheap, probably the cheapest suit you have ever touched, but still, you folded it with so much care before you placed it over a nearby couch — with so much care, he couldn’t come into peace about what he was supposed to do with himself.
“Princess,” he called, not because he had something to say, but because he thought if he didn’t make something factual, he would fade between a touch and another.
The memories of Saturday were still too vivid and too triggering late at night, and to add something else seemed too much.
You hummed in reply, reaching for his tie, fingers curling on the dark material before you tugged him to your height. When he bent in, your breath brushed through his cheeks, warm, and teasingly.
However, despite the confidence of your actions, your cheeks were rosier than before, an adorable denounce you were a little bit embarrassed too, and that was it — you had broken the spell. Heeseung laughed at you, the pleasant sound echoing through the whole room at the same time the invisible weight he carried on his shoulders was lifted.
“You don’t need to worry about anything, you know?” you whispered. “I am here.”
“I know you are,” he whispered back, spreading his palms on your waist, fingers accidentally tangling on the laces of your dress as he brought you closer.
His nose brushed against yours, and your lips parted, just enough to taste the sweetness of the tea on his breath. Chamomile and honey, his grandmother’s favorite combination to calm any nerves down.
“Now, this is what I call a worth-it movie scene,” your grandma interrupted, making Heeseung step back. “Is this the infamous Lee Heeseung?”
“Yes, grandma,” you said, hurriedly. “This is Heeseung, my-”
You stopped, all at once, mind still stuck on him, and that one never once confirmed word. And perhaps you had been there for so long that your grandmother laughed out loudly, being followed by a more shy and reserved Heeseung.
“Don’t worry about explaining it to me, darling,” she said. “It might be hard to imagine, but I have been this age before.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Heeseung,” she continued.
“Pleasured to meet you too,” Heeseung replied, extending his hand at your grandmother. But she ignored it, preferring to instead, take him in a long and tight hug.
“Now hurry to the back garden! Her parents are asking about you already!”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
“I have a feeling your grandmother would love to meet my grandmother,” Heeseung whispered against your ear. And you laughed at that, soft and genuinely — allowing the sound to blend with the furor of the back garden.
Everything was happening there already. The air was smokey with the marinated meat left on the grill, encircled with the flowers growing on the bushes. Children laughed as they ran through the greenish grass, and adults scattered themselves on the long table, talking above their crystal cups with an enthusiasm that only came from too much happiness, too much alcohol, or both.
And as you took the last steps to the garden, your father approached, a glass of his favorite champagne already hanging in his left hand, as he held your mother’s with the other. He kept his hair slicked back, proudly showing the significantly graying hair at the sides, meanwhile, your mother kept simple but still too lined up. And even if Heeseung hadn’t asked about it, their attire gave away their successful work in business, suddenly making Heeseung more comfortable in his own attire. You had finished removing his tie and rolled his sleeves up, but he was still way too formal for his daily basics.
“It’s great to finally meet you,” your father said, extending his hand at Heeseung. “Y/N has been safekeeping you the whole summer.”
You weren’t sure if your father had said it intending to be funny or to call both of you out, but if anything Heeseung took your father’s hand, shaking it with the best smile he could.
“It’s great to meet you too sir.”
“Please, no sir — we are all family here,” your father said, and your mother smiled, extending her own hand to Heeseung.
“Y/N can guide you through, but feel free here, Heeseung,” your mother said.
A phone chimed in the middle of the conversation, and you immediately recognized it as your dad’s.
“Excuse me,” he asked, taking the device out of his pants back pocket.
“Sunghoon!” your father greeted. Heeseung could notice your switch of emotions, the way you stiffened as your smile disappeared with a hitch of breath. “Oh? Perhaps I overestimated the driveway?”
Another pause.
“Do you see a gate on the right side? I am going to open it up to you, park at the side — no, don’t worry.”
Your parents walked away and Heeseung reached for your hand, pinching you gently, but because he was too respectful he didn’t question the reason behind your reaction. Not even when a brown Range Rover came into view, and Sunghoon left the car like a gush of winter wind, greeting your parents and giving a fine bottle of wine like the old acquaintance he was. Not even when Sunghoon approached you, lips curling on a fond smile, eyes gleaming, not being able to hide the irrational happiness of simply seeing you.
You slipped from Heeseung’s touch, allowing Sunghoon to hug you, and when his arms involved your waist, bringing you tantalizing closer as his lips chased for your temple, something settled inside of Heeseung. Strong enough to make him dizzy, great enough to ache.
He had never considered himself a jealous person, but perhaps he simply never cared about something enough.
Sunghoon not only had the type of face girls in this county would make lines for, but he knew how to wear his money well. His car was impressive, a Range Rover velar with a customized mental brown tint that matched the tone of his silk button-down, and he made a strange image near you, almost too fitting. Almost too perfect.
“Hee, this is Park Sunghoon, son of my father’s business partner,” you said, drawing back. “Also my classmate at University and friend.”
“Lee Heeseung,” Heeseung said, his voice sounding pleasant enough as he extended his right hand at Sunghoon. However, he had stepped past you, pulling himself between you and Sunghoon and making it clear his true feelings.
Your palm met the back of his shoulders almost unconsciously, spreading your fingers and feeling the warmth of the sun beneath the cotton of his shirt.
Sunghoon straightened himself to his full height, but took Heeseung’s hand anyway, shaking it for a brief moment before he turned back to you.
“I have been calling,” Sunghoon said.
“I am sorry, I haven’t been much on the phone lately.”
“I know, your mother told me — what reminds me, I have something for you,” he said. “Please, wait a moment.”
“I-” you started, but Sunghoon was already walking back to his car, opening the door and reaching for something on the passenger seat. You barely had looked at Heeseung, noticing his clenched jaw before Sunghoon was back.
“I heard you have been obsessed with a disposable camera,” he said. “So I bought this while I was in Japan last week, I think something higher quality would be better.”
Sunghoon extended the box to you, and immediately, a gasp escaped from you. The box was completely black, except for the Fujifilm logo and the camera’s name, both of them shining in metallic beneath the afternoon sun. You never had searched much about cameras to be an expert, but you knew enough to comprehend, it was outstanding.
It easily outmatched the camera Heeseung had gotten you on the night of the carnival, and even so — even so, you still preferred Heeseung’s. You liked the analog camera — you liked the retro feeling it had. You liked how your grandma had laughed when you first appeared with it, telling you it looked so old, but this small sudden thought made you realize the reason you kept it safe with you wasn’t because of the item itself, but because of the memories you kept collecting with Heeseung throughout the month.
“Sunghoon, it’s really nice, and I appreciate the thought, but I can’t accept it.”
“Why?” he asked, frowning. Eyebrows brought together, the smile he carried just a second gone, everything on his face giving away he was faltering inside.
Sunghoon had always been unable to hide his emotions, ever since you knew him. Everything was always there, just a sight away.
“I-” you started, tongue almost rolling into the lie that it was too expensive, but what was a few billion won for him? What was a few billion won for your family? He was going to laugh as soon as you finished the phrase.
“I am already content with the camera Heeseung gave me.”
And that was it, you had broken both of them with a single phrase. Heeseung eased beneath your touch at the same time Sunghoon’s lips parted in an exclamation.
There was a small fraction of a second that you thought, Sunghoon was about to say something as he looked between you and Heeseung, but he let it all go, turning to the long table settled in the middle of the garden, and listening to your grandma summoning everyone to eat.
“I am going first,” he said. “I haven’t greeted your grandma and my parents.”
As Sunghoon walked away, Heeseung reached for you, fingers intertwining just to bring you close to his chest.
“You didn’t need to protect the camera so fiercely.”
“It wasn’t the camera,” you said, and he smiled down at you because he knew.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
At the table, everything seemed even more chaotic. Near the extremity, Sunghoon’s father was telling a terrible joke. You smiled, just politely, tightening your grip on Heeseung’s hand as you guided him farther. In the middle, people talked loudly about politics as if it was the most pleasant topic for a summer afternoon. Your head spun just by hearing the names.
You ended up sitting at the other extremity, across from one of your mother’s oldest friends, Mrs. Choi. She smiled easily and talked about her life even more easily. Everything there was to know about her, you have listened at least once, or perhaps twice, not that you considered her a bother. She was someone easy to be with, so when she turned her head at you and smiled, all you could do was smile back.
“Y/N!” she exclaimed. “Exactly the woman I was looking for.”
“Is that so?”
“My niece got into Seoul National University too, she is starting in autumn,” she said. “She is considering moving to the dorms, do you still live there?”
“Oh, no,” you replied. “The dorms are great, but I couldn’t adapt very well to the community kitchen and decided to move to a studio nearby.”
“Is it that bad?”
“No, I just dislike cooking with strangers passing by.”
Mrs. Choi laughed at it for a blissful moment before she turned to Heeseung.
“And you?” she asked. “Do you study with her in Seoul too?”
“No,” you promptly said. “Heeseung — he stays nearby.”
“Oh, and what are you going to do once the summer ends?” she asked. “You two are together, right?”
The question was crafted in mere curiosity, but all at once, you faltered as if you had been verbatim attacked. Your hands fell on the table, fingers too weak to do anything aside from staying there.
Heeseung knocked his knee against yours, a reassuring gesture that he was still with you.
“Seoul is just a couple of hours away,” he said. “Whenever she wants me to — if she wants me to, I would drive anywhere just to see her,”
“There’s no one else in this world like her.”
He spoke it easily behind a glass of iced tea, almost unwittingly, but the words ached within you so wonderfully simple and warm. You wished you could hold them in your palms, keep them between your fingers, just so you could press and feel them whenever you were faltering.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
Aside from Mrs. Choi telling for what you suspected to be the third time about her month-worth trip through Europe. Nothing happened between the main course and the dessert.
Heeseung’s hand had found comfort on your knee, the soft pressure of his thumb drawing tiny circles through your skin as the end of the afternoon approached, the sun lowering into the chain of hills, the sky turning into a vivid orange that only summer sunsets managed to. But only when Mrs. Choi excused herself, saying she wanted to catch the first stars, you allowed yourself to put your hand above Heeseung’s, leaning closer, your cheeks almost touching his so you could whisper.
He didn’t think it would make any difference at all. There were so many things happening still that no one would notice if you screamed at him, but he liked how your perfume was everything he could breathe, all sweet and flowery. He liked how you spoke so closely, almost giving him a taste of the strawberry cocktail you had tried.
“Take me somewhere?” you asked.
Heeseung looked at you. He intended to ask if it would be alright to simply leave like this. However, when your gazes encountered, remnants of sunlight reflected through your eyes, glistening the color with a goldish light that made you feel like part of the sky rather than a material thing and everything he could do was nod, using your already connected hands to pull you up and away, until you had reached his BMW.
He drove you further into the hills with the windows down, and the headlights only illuminating as far as the next turn. He reached for the same open field he had taken you on the night of the first race, but instead of stopping, he kept going, away and away — until you were so far from the town that all you could hear were the soft whispers of the night when he turned the engine off.
It wasn’t quiet, but silent. Something you never had experienced while living in the city.
“Look to the sky,” he asked. And you did, looking up through the window. 
At Hongcheon there were never enough streetlights to obliterate the stars completely, you could always get a glimpse of them, but there, so up through the hills, the stars were so bright they almost formed a river, a stream of light against the dark.
“It’s beautiful,” you whispered.
“It really is.”
You turned to look at Heeseung, but he had his gaze already fixed on you, his eyes gleaming, lips curling on a fond smile. He had no embarrassment in letting you know he had been like this for the whole while. And when you reached for him on the gear stick, spreading your palm through the back of his hand, Heeseung promptly moved beneath your touch, turning his palm into yours and intertwining your fingers.
“What are you thinking?” you asked.
Heeseung didn’t reply — not right away, he allowed the question to hang within the seconds, blending with the summer breeze as his gaze lingered on your face a little too long to be incidental before wandering through the sky.
“The day we met, I was racing with Jake,” he said. “I remember looking down on Hongcheon and thinking about how summer was starting,”
“I just had this feeling that something was coming —  something great.”
“Was it?” you asked. “Great?”
“Wonderful,” he whispered.
You leaned across the gearshift. And Heeseung let go of your intertwined hands to cup your face, his fingers preferring to thread through your hair instead, bringing you closer so his lips could graze yours, a new kind of kiss, parted lips that were barely there. 
It was slow in a way you couldn’t remember it ever being — it was lazier in a way that only came with the acknowledgment of something none of you were going to name yet but knew was there.
Heeseung slid his seat all the way back, subtly pulling you to him. The BMW didn’t have the back seats, and it didn’t give much space. But you moved anyway, your knees straddling his hips, your palms pressed to his chest, the soft rhythm of his heartbeats against your touch.
His heart skipped a beat when you slid your hands down on his torso, feeling the warmth the sun had left on his skin before you curled two fingers on the first button of his shirt. But if anything, Heeseung just nodded at you.
You were aware he was watching you, burning you with affection and fondness as he accompanied every move you did to open button after button. Your fingers splayed over the just exposed skin of his chest, brushing through his whole extension until you reached to his neck, threading your fingers in the hair at his nape, and angling him to you. Heeseung shivered beneath your touch, a small growl escaping his lips.
“You are my downfall, but as well my saving, princess,” he whispered. “I hope you know it.”
You caught his bottom lip on yours, once, twice, enough times to feel brave enough to brush your tongue against it, but Heeseung was already on it, sliding his tongue against yours. He kissed you deeper, messier — needier. And if it wasn’t enough to make you whine, when he shifted beneath you, pressing the solid length of himself against you was.
Heeseung cursed when you grind against him, sliding his hands up to your thighs. He never had relished your sundresses as much as he did now, passing the hem of it with no ado, and pinching his fingers on your bare waist. He held you still, lips leaving yours just to find your neck, trailing down to your shoulders with an open mouth and making you shiver despite the heat wrapped around the car.
“If you keep going one more minute — I am gone,” he murmured.
“Hee, please.”
“Please what, princess?”
“Make love to me.” He chuckled at the way you had said it, all whine, soft and pure.
He pinched you again, just to make sure you were looking at him, but you were — you always had been, cheeks flushed, and eyes a bit too bright, almost making him forget what he was supposed to say.
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I need you to be sure.”
“I am.”
You could hear him swallowing beneath the silence of the night, reaching up on you — brushing his hands through your ribcage, drawing your dress up to your shoulder, and allowing it to fall somewhere over the console.
He barely gave it a moment before his fingertips ran for the clasps of your laced bra, opening it.
“I didn’t think our first time would be in the front seat of my car, but how can I say no to you?” he said, leaning on you. His forehead landed on your collarbone with a gentle thud, drawing the tip of his nose along the swell of your breasts as his hands found your hips, burying his fingers on your skin. “You are so pretty.”
“Did you think about it?” you asked.
He had heard your question, and understood it, but he also had heard the way your breath hitched in surprise because you never thought you had this effect on him, and instead of replying, he pulled one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking it to a solid point and making your back arch. The act alone was so pleasurable, a desperate sound escaped through your lips before you couldn’t even notice it.
Desire swirled through his eyes and he brought you close to him, rolling his hard length against your center as he moved to the other nipple, his tongue drawing a faint line into your chest.
Heeseung only drew back to savor your reactions, the way your eyes closed, your mouth parted as the most pretty sounds continued to escape through.
“Hee,” you whimpered. You have never heard your voice so desperate like this. You have never felt so desperate. And that was exactly what broke him, the way you called for him so softly and whimpered, so full of wish. He could give you anything even if you never asked.
You reached for his low abdomen, feeling his muscles tense and contract as you fumbled through the waist of his pants, but before you could do anything, Heeseung stopped you — his fingers curling around your wrists.
“I am here,” he said. “I promise I won’t tease you anymore, so let me take care of everything.”
The rest of the clothes were taken off laboriously, Heeseung sliding your panties through your ankles and allowing them to join the rest of your attire before he reached for the button of his pants, getting a little shuffling underneath you as he pushed it down to his tights together with his boxers.
He took himself in his hand, hard, long, and already pushing into you. His breath hitched at the feel of you, whispering your name, pronouncing it with the same deliberate slowness he always had and you couldn’t help but moan at the whole feel of him, fingers curling on his shoulders, head a bit thrown back.
There were silver stripes painted across your skin, the moon appearing behind the trees, invading through his opened window. And you were so pretty like this — so pretty, Heeseung had no second thoughts before meandering his arm around your waist, bringing you close to his chest as he pulled out to the tip and back into you.
It was slow at first, all about him discovering the new shape of you, but soon enough, it was confident, knowing. He knew exactly how to move, how to make you tighten around him, and his name to escape from your lips a little bit more frantic.
Your fingers spread through his neck, trying to angle him up to you, stifling all your whines against his tongue, but Heeseung only buried his face in the curve of your shoulders in response, his heavy breaths against your skin.
“I want to hear you,” he mumbled. “Please.”
Despite your shyness, you did as he asked, giving him all your noises, whimpers, and the soft, snuffled sounds, allowing them to blend with the summer night and the way he kept whispering for you to not stop.
“Heeseung, I-”
He moved, focusing on you, eyes encountering yours for the first time, all dazed and captivated, and he let out a gasp of breath as he leaned into you, forehead brushing your own. 
“That’s ok, princess,” he whispered, pressing a little bit deeper, a little bit harder. “I am here, come for me.”
You clenched around him, thighs shaking as the knot in your stomach broke loose, just a few moments before he followed you.
Heeseung swallowed your last whine, catching your lips on his as he slipped out. His fingers smoothed your skin, thumbs drawing full circles as he sat you down on his thighs.
The car went quiet, scratched only by the soft rustle of the leaves outside and Heeseung’s heart slowly coming into peace beneath your fingertips.
“Yours,” he whispered.
You drew back, just a bit, hands slipping from his neck and spreading through his chest for support. The moonlight picked strands of his hair, reflected through his damp skin. You couldn’t make sense of what he had said.
“What?”
“Early — when you were introducing me to your grandmother, you didn’t know what to title me,” he explained. “I am yours, no titles required.”
“My Heeseung?” you asked, not being able to control the small smile forming on your lips.
“Yours,” he agreed.
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September arrived in Hongcheon as it always did in Seoul. Although summer was still there, painting everything in vivid and full colors, rain clouds lingered in the sky, holding the heat during the day and causing the air to sting with the threat of a storm at the end of the night.
Only that at Hongcheon, the air also stung with the rumble of engines, the smell of car exhaustion, burnt tires, and worries on Saturday nights.
You pulled Heeseung’s jacket tight around your body, tugging the collar up to your mouth and purposely breathing on his peony perfume, allowing it to be the only thing in your lungs as you looked around. This part of the county was so flat, anywhere you looked the low canopy of dense gray clouds seemed to meet the asphalt, and the idea of Heeseung being caught in the rain made your heart falter.
You still remember when Heeseung raced you to the coast, the world was just a blur beyond the windows, the roads too slippy beneath the BMW’s tires. He didn’t need water in the middle of all of this to make it harder.
“They are coming back,” Sunhae announced.
You looked at the highway in time to see headlights breaking in between the asphalt and the clouds.
“Seems like lover boy is leading this week.”
“Damn, I bet on Daekho,” Hayoung cursed.
“You have a crush on him.”
“He is handsome? yes,” your cousin admitted. “Would I mind if the boys gave me his number? Definitely no, but no. I am not twelve to have a crush.”
Sunhae replied something, bringing out the most genuine laugh from both of them, but you were already a world apart, taking in the familiar sound of the BMW’s tires squealing through the asphalt, raising a trail of smoke just a few moments before Heeseung threw his door open, seizing to the roof to slip out faster.
You didn’t remember the decision of moving, only that you did. When Heeseung stepped in front of his headlights, you were already there, threading your fingers in the hair at his nape, bringing his forehead against yours at the same time his hands found the bodice of your dress beneath the thick material of his jacket, brushing his thumbs shamelessly through the curve of your breasts.
“I was worried,” you said.
“Why?”
“It’s going to rain soon.”
“I told you I would come back in one piece.” Heeseung laughed at you, all fond and appreciative before he pestered you with quick kisses all over your face, but when he chased for your lips, you froze beneath his touch, all at once, the wandering fingers in the middle of a brush, the small smile gone.
But only when he followed your eyesight did he notice the reason why.
Sunghoon approached across the highway, his brown Range Rover parked just behind. With all the furor of the racers arriving, and the people shouting, none of you noticed the Range Rover coming in the wrong way. It blended in the middle of all the other fancy cars, yet Sunghoon — Sunghoon could never blend in a place like this.
Heeseung thought the formal attire was a requirement both of them had created for your parent’s lunch, but looking at him there, at eleven o’clock on the night of a Saturday, he wondered if the man ever wore anything that wasn’t dress pants and silk button-downs.
“What a sight,” Sunghoon said. “I hope you both are enjoying the remaining weeks.”
“After all, what do you think’s going to happen by the end of summer, Heeseung?” he asked, but Heeseung didn’t reply.
“Well, let me tell you then. Y/N is going back to the city — back to the best university in the country while you will be here,” Sunghoon said, his hands gesturing to the surroundings with an unmistakable repulse. He didn’t need to finish his thoughts, the sentence had already been completed before he even spoke it, but still, Sunghoon seemed to relish his mind so much that he had to. “At this end of the world, earning your dirty money.”
“Shut up,” Heeseung hissed.
“What? Do you think she likes you?” Sunghoon laughed, head thrown back, but there was no humor in it. “C’mon Heeseung, we both know she is too good for you. It’s pity, and as soon as she is back in Seoul, she will forget this moment of charity,”
“So enjoy fucking her while you can.”
You felt Heeseung stiffening, his jaw clenching beneath your thumbs at the same time his hands slipped away.
“Hee,” You called, but it was too late. He had let you go, fleeing through the space between you and Sunghoon.
Heeseung grabbed Sunghoon’s button-down, twisting the thin material between his fists. He didn’t seem to think about the consequences of his actions — he simply did it, using his grip to push Sunghoon onto the Range Rover’s hood. The sound of the body hitting the brown-tinted metal was almost imperceptible amidst the sudden cheers.
“Not the car.” Sunghoon hissed.
“Not the car?” Heeseung echoed, mockery pushing through each pronounced letter. However, he seemed to concur, ripping Sunghoon from the car hood and allowing the latter to stumble back to his feet.
It happened too quickly for you to process. You didn’t even see who launched the opening blow; you only knew that it happened, getting them into a real fight.
Heeseung laughed in the middle of the chaos, something you always thought to be soft unfolding sharply within the night.
He stopped, pointing at his own face as if to encourage Sunghoon to throw another punch. But the moment Sunghoon did, he went down to the dirty asphalt, Heeseung above him.
“Heeseung!” you called again, more urgently. But he seemed to not have heard you — fist still ready and in the middle of another throw before Jake finally reached them.
“Stop it, you are ruining your damn face,” Jake said, hauling Heeseung up by his shoulders.
“Leave,” Heeseung hissed to Sunghoon. “Before I end you,”
“I have been wanting to do it already.”
Sunghoon stood up, touching his pinkie finger to his lips to check for blood. He had so many bruises on his cheek and hands that the lips seemed the least problem. However, you couldn’t feel sorry for him — not with how he straightened himself, adjusting his button-down and giving you an awful smile.
“You know it’s not over, right?” Sunghoon asked, finally turning to his car.
The Range Rover’s tire squealed as it bit into the asphalt, drifting through the highway. And only when the car disappeared from view, did Jake let go of Heeseung’s shoulders, allowing him to turn back to you, panting, and bleeding.
Despite his state, Heeseung couldn’t feel anything — think about anything. The place still had the smell of car exhaustion and burnt tires, and the air still sting with the upcoming storm, he could hear the commotion of the people around, but everything seemed so subtle that even when your perfume came to his senses, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was just his desperate mind searching for something to hold on in the middle of his numbness.
Yet, he felt your arms around his neck and your warmth against him was enough to pull the world back to its axes. He hugged you back, arms involving your waist, head leaning on your shoulder, the slope of his nose pressed to your neck. He could scent the dirtiness of the race on your skin, the smoke of the cars, and exhaustion, but beneath it, there was your sweet perfume.
“Hee,” you called. There was no reprehension in your tone, it brushed through his skin just like it always did — soft, and all yours. You weren’t sure if you wanted to say something more, it had just slipped through.
Heeseung drew back, just enough for his lips to trail your cheeks, kissing the tears you haven’t realized you had shed.
“I am sorry,” he whispered. “I am so sorry, princess.”
“Just let me take you out of here, hm?” you said.
Heeseung was surprised that you settled yourself on the driver’s seat of his BMW. But he said nothing as he followed you, taking the passenger seat instead. He said nothing when you stepped on the pedals, pulled the first gear, and drove away. Heeseung waited until you both are already far away from the street racing furor, and you a little bit more comfortable with the fourth gear.
“I didn’t know you could drive.”
“I got my driver’s license as soon as the law permitted, but it was because my dad wanted me to,” you said. “I don’t really enjoy it in the city, there are too much traffic, lights — people.”
He chuckled at your statement, it was a minuscule sound spreading through the night before he reached for your thigh, his palm resting warm and wide on your bare skin.
“You look stunning like this.”
“You are so flirty.”
“I am just telling you the truth,” he said. Your mouth parted, a small incredulous sound leaving your throat and Heeseung couldn’t help but laugh — not the sharp laugh he had released with Sunghoon, but the one you loved, the soft, beautiful, and capable of twitching your heart one.
He rested his head on the seat, but not for a single second he allowed his gaze to move away from you as you drove back to the town.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
By the time you reached the main avenue, everything had become so silent, it was easy to think you and Heeseung were the only people left in the world. All the stores had closed for the day, turning their signs off and leaving only the 24 hour convenience store to cast an artificial light among the street lamps.
“I will stop to get something to clean you,” you said.
“You don’t need to, princess,” he replied. But you had already parked in the shade of the walkway outside the glass door, reaching blindly for the space behind the seats in search of your purse.
“Don’t move,” you told him. Yet still, Heeseung did, fingers coming into the encounter the sides of your neck, thumbs caressing your skin, and subtly turning you to his side in an attempt to make you stay.
“You really don’t need to,” he whispered.
The sky was dark with dense clouds. The only source of light was the fluorescent lamps from the convenience store, and with him trying to pull you against him, making you shadow this small sort of light, it was difficult to see his face, but there was something about the way he had said it, so frail, and wheedling.
“Let me take care of you,” you asked. “Please.”
And that was it, even if he never told you, there was this thing inside of him — this inability to simply say no when it was you to receive this small rejection. Heeseung would do anything you asked, in a single heartbeat.
So he waited in the warmth of the BMW, watching as you slipped through the convenience store’s door, his leather jacket still hanging tightly around your shoulders as you scanned the aisles. He felt himself ache just looking at you, chest too tight to breathe, eyes all soft, and when you came back, opening the passenger door, everything he did was slid the seat all the way back, allowing you to climb to his lap, knees around his hips as he reached for you almost unconsciously, hands resting at your waist, thumbs drawing slow circles through the thin material of your dress as you scattered your new purchases through the small space between both of you. A bottle of antiseptic, two packages of cotton, and a bunch of bandages, Heeseung was sure you had bought the whole first aid session from the convenience store.
But before he could joke about it, you turned the car’s light on, and beneath this sudden clarity, you frowned, eyebrows up, lips pressing into a thin line. The wounds were worse than it seemed, there was a cut over his eyebrows, bleeding as a darker bruise spread over his left cheek. You reached for them, the tip of your fingers wandering through his skin as if you could erase them with your bare touch.
“I am sorry, Hee,” you whispered.
“Why are you asking me sorry? I was the one fighting.”
“If it wasn’t because of me, Sunghoon wasn’t going to be there.”
He winced when you touched the cotton on him, gripping hard on your waist. The antiseptic burnt through his cuts.
“What are you to him?” Heeseung asked, so low that if you weren’t paying enough attention to him, it would have slid and slipped away within a moment. “I know you told me he is your father’s business partner’s son, and you both study together, but why does he-”
He stopped, all of a sudden, his eyes preferring to focus on the windshield instead of you.
“Sorry, I trust you, it’s just — he is right, you know? You are too good for me, and I am afraid of how many men you have wrapped around your finger.”
“Heeseung, don’t-”
“I am talking about how you treat me,” he said. “Princess, you never get angry. You didn’t get angry when you found out about the racing — you are not angry right now. I don’t know what you are made of, but surely it’s too good for me.”
“I do get angry,” you whispered. “I am so angry with myself right now. I just wish I could make you understand that you are everything to me, Heeseung. I just wish I could find the right thing to say, the right thing to do, but it seems like the more I try the more I hurt you. I-”
You let go of his face, catching his hand instead, his knuckles were an angry red, with blood dried, and settling in the lines of his skin. You brushed cotton soaked in antiseptic across this new area, hoping he wouldn’t notice the tears coming once again with your head turned down.
But he did. Heeseung was always watching you too attentively.
“I am sorry, princess.”
Heeseung hugged you, his arms embracing your waist as he brought you as close as he could, resting his head on your shoulders, his nose pressed to your neck. He could scent the dirtiness of the race on your skin still, the smoke of the cars, and exhaustion, but beneath it, there was your sweet perfume. There was always your sweet perfume.
“I am so sorry,” he whispered.
Heeseung hasn’t cried — not even once, being it for his mother or for his father. However, when you pulled him tight against your shoulders, fingertips too warm against the sides of his neck, he found himself sobbing like he couldn’t remember ever doing. The forgotten feeling of the tears running down his face slowly becoming familiar once again.
“You don’t have to,” you whispered. “You never have to feel sorry for me.”
You angled Heeseung’s face to you, resting your forehead against his, cleaning his tears with the soft pads of your thumbs. He took the opportunity to catch your bottom lip, pinching it between his a few times before it turned into a real kiss, but you drew back, wrinkling your nose.
“You are tasting like antiseptic,” you said.
He laughed, throwing his head back and closing his eyes for a long moment before he straightened himself back, brushing a stray lock behind your ear.
“You always do,” Heeseung whispered. “Say the right thing, do the right thing.”
“You do too,” you confessed. “What you said to Mrs. Choi — driving to Seoul whenever I want you to, it—”
“Was the simple truth,” he completed. “It takes just an hour to arrive there, and considering I am following the speed limits, what you know I only do when you are in the car.”
“I can come and go twelve times a day, you know?”
It was your turn to shy away, focusing on the collar of his t-shirt instead, playing with the kneaded material with the tip of your fingers.
“You spoil me too much.”
“I can handle a spoiled little princess,” he said.
“Can you?”
“Definitely.”
Heeseung slid his hands to your neck, his thumbs pressing gently into your skin as he tipped your head, angling you so you had to look at him, take in his gleaming eyes for a quiet second before he kissed you, and this time you didn’t draw back, even with the taste of antiseptic and blood when you brushed your tongue through his bottom lip, earning a groan as he parted his mouth for you.
Outside the car, a rumble of thunder echoed through the halted avenue, immediately bringing the awaited storm, the heavy raindrops tapping the BMW windows, but if anything you curled your fingers on Heeseung’s t-shirt, bringing him as close as you could.
The cadence of his heart matched with yours. And it was so easy to believe you both are the only ones remaining in the world — so easy.
                                      ┈┈┈┈
The storm didn’t cease as Heeseung drove you to the rented house, pounding harshly on the windshields as thunder kept breaking through the sky.
His hand seemed to hitch above the gear stick, ready to pull the engine a little bit harder, simply because he knew he could do it — Heeseung had perfect control over the BMW, but you seemed uneasy with the harshness of the storm, and he laughed, reaching for you instead, resting his palm between your tights through the rest of the drive.
Heeseung usually parked on the street, headlights illuminating the garden’s patch for you as he watched you walk away, his leather jacket on your shoulders, high heels hitting the rocks, but tonight, he passed through the gates, stepping on the brakes only when your door was just one jump away from the stairs.
“Is it your father?” he asked, taking your attention to one of the rocking chairs on the porch. As if he had listened to Heeseung, your father stood up, as intimidating as someone could be in a blue-striped pajama, and hair down.
“I should greet him,” Heeseung mumbled, and you nodded, although you thought it wasn’t the best night. You had done your best to clean him, however, the metallic scent of blood was still surrounding the air, quietly yet effortlessly being a constant reminder of the early incident.
The clock on the BMW showed precisely one in the morning, you had never arrived so late, and you tried to convince yourself that was the reason why your father had decided to wait outside for the first time during the whole summer. You tried to convince yourself that if Heeseung remained a few steps behind, your father wouldn’t notice the bandage on his eyebrow, and the darkening bruise on his left cheek.
But there was already something different in your father, something fierce and overprotective. The moment you stepped closer, his hand rested on your shoulder, subtly pulling you away from Heeseung.
“Give his jacket back,” your father demanded.
“What?” you asked, not because you didn’t understand, but because the harshness with which he had said it surprised you.
“You heard me.”
You looked back at Heeseung, mirroring his perplexed expression. He had extended his hand at your father, but it had been ignored by the latter, and Heeseung used his still extended hand to reach for his jacket instead.
There was a moment of silence between you, the only sound coming was from the rumble of thunders, but it wasn’t the cause of the changeless in the air, making it halted and heavy enough to be felt, thick with a tension you weren’t used to. 
“I am sorry for bringing Y/N late, sir,” Heeseung started. He had stopped a bit farther away, the rain plugging on his hair, running through his shoulders, and soaking his t-shirt. “We—”
“You should go back home, Heeseung,” your father cut. “As you said it is late, and I need to have a serious talk with my daughter.”
“I will call you later, Hee,” you promised.
Heeseung nodded at you, stepping behind at the same time your father guided you through the door.
The clarity of the interior of the rented house took you anew, making you blink several times before you could take the form of your mother sitting on the couch, a first kit aid settled on her lap, and a bunch of cotton as dirty as the ones you left on Heeseung’s car discarded on the table in front of her.
There was no real indication of Sunghoon’s passage through the house, but it wouldn’t take a genius to know it was all his doing.
And although you could feel your body cooling, you weren’t surprised when your father finally broke the question.
“Has Heeseung ever raced with you in the car?”
You felt a little lurch at that. The idea of lying seemed to attempt you. It would be so easy to simply say no — so easy to let that night be buried as a secret between you and Heeseung. However, you had allowed the question to hang in for too long, and when you noticed, it was already too late to do so.
In the middle of your silence, your mother released a tortuous sound, closing her hand above her chest as if something inside of her hurt — and perhaps, it did. Her tears streamed silently beneath the night’s light.
“I asked him to do it,” you finally said. “Please, let me explain, Heeseung-”
“Stop it right now!” your father burst, a single hand coming harsh against the nearest wall.
Your father never had screamed at you, not even once. And the sudden ferocity in his voice tore the small thread keeping you from breaking.
“Sunghoon appeared here, bleeding because your boyfriend — a street racer,” he continued, pronouncing street racer with the same repugnance as he would say bandit. “beat him, and not only this, Y/N, you go to his races!”
“What if the police appeared? All the years you dedicated yourself to get into a good university, to stay at the top of your classes — the future you have been working so hard for, all of suddenly thrown in the trash because of a guy?”
“I don’t know who you are anymore, but you surely are not the daughter I raised.”
The living room fell silent at this and only then you noticed how fast your heart was beating. It hummed against your ears, so loud you couldn’t even think.
Your father turned to the stairs, leaving you behind without a second or uncertain glance. He had already declared everything he wanted, be it with words or not. Your mother remained, but if she was going to say something, she let it all go with a single shake of head before she trailed helplessly after him.
You didn’t follow them up the stairs, but instead, you stood still, staring so long into the walls that when you finally reached for your phone, it took a while for your vision to focus.
“Princess?” Heeseung called. Your heart tethered itself, just his voice was enough to make you stop trembling. “I was waiting for you.”
You breathed in, perhaps so harshly that it made him stop at the other end of the line. You weren’t sure how long had it been since your father shoved Heeseung away from the front porch, you only knew it had been long ago, perhaps a lifetime ago, yet — he was still waiting for you.
Heeseung would always wait for you.
“I am sorry,” you whispered, because you were — because you weren’t sure what else you could tell him. “I am so sorry.”
“Sunghoon told your parents about the racing, didn’t he?” he asked. His question didn’t carry the madness or annoyance it could be expected if made just a few hours earlier. Instead, he sounded pitiful.
Heeseung knew his secret would someday come between both of you. He knew it from the moment he had first seen you at the party. You were French dresses, high heels, golden pins on the hair and champagne on the weekends. You had the world at your feet, meanwhile, he barely had a place for himself.
“He did,” you admitted.
He closed his eyes to calm his pulse, and before he could doubt the wisdom of saying it, he did.
“Maybe we should take a break from seeing each other,” he whispered.
“Hee-”
“Just for a few, princess,” Heeseung said. “It will do no good infuriating your father more.”
“I don’t want it to be just a summer thing, you and me,” he continued. “I will do anything to prove my worth to your father, but for now I think we should slow down a bit.”
“You are worth it.”
“I am glad you think like this,” he said, a pinch of a smile in his voice. “Let’s keep calling, alright?”
“Alright.”
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Heeseung was the one to call you the next night.
It was precisely at the same hours you had called him, almost as if he had programmed it because he knew it would be safer for you.
You made your way out of bed, walking to the window seat just to curl yourself there in the middle of all the pillows.
“Princess,” he called as soon as you picked up. “Have you looked at the moon tonight?”
With a tethered heart, you turned to the windows, following the moonlight through the clouds above before you exhaled, stuck by the quiet beauty.
“Not until now, it’s beautiful,” you said. Your voice sounded muffed into the pillow.
“Bad hour?” Heeseung asked. “We can hang up.”
“No, please — keep talking, I want to hear you.”
“So suddenly,” he laughed. “What do you want to hear about?”
“Anything, I just want to hear you.”
“Have I ever told you what I studied at university?” he asked. Although you knew Heeseung had been a university student for a few semesters, the question took you anew, you never have stopped to think about what would have been his major. And perhaps because he noticed the reticent on you, he continued without your answer. “Architecture.”
“Really?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?” he laughed.
“I didn’t!”
“You did.”
“I just never stopped to think about your major,” you admitted. “How was it? The university?”
“Glorious and terrible days,” Heeseung said, making you laugh. The sound surprised you, making you press your fingertips against your lips. There was no better way to sum up university life.
“Did you used to live in the dorms?”
“Yes, with Jungwon and Jake,” Heeseung said. You could hear a subtle longing in his voice.
“It seems interesting.”
“It was a mess — we once set off the fire alarm, and the whole building had to evacuate at two in the morning.”
“No.”
“Yes,” he said. “It seemed like a great idea to cook inside the room back then.”
Hours passed this way. Heeseung told stories of his old dorms, and their uncomfortable beds, his university, and its old mismatching buildings. He perfectly surrounded how much he wished he had stayed there, and only gave brief pauses to hear your laugh, the soft hitches of your breaths at the other end of the line.
Heeseung suddenly fell silent, only the ruffle of his sheets being heard.
“How is Seoul?”
“Beautiful and lonely.”
“Do you miss it? Even if it’s lonely?”
“No,” you said. The speed the words have left your lips surprised you, but still, you continued. “I wish I could stay here. Would you build me a dream house here?”
“I never got my architect license,” Heeseung said. “But if you tell me about your dream house, I can find you something.”
“I want to live in the hills.”
“Should I buy your summer house then?”
“I dislike big houses.”
“So do I,” Heeseung said, immediately pressing his lips in regret. It sounded like it was his dream house too. You could almost picture him — the way his head would bend down before he shook his head in an attempt to cover his shyness. Your lips curved with the image.
“Heeseung?” you called. He only hummed in reply.
“Do you prefer a single-story house or a two-story house?”
“Two-story, especially on the hill — you must enjoy the whole view.”
“With a front porch and a balcony on the second floor?”
“I like the idea.”
“It’s settled then,” you said. “Please, find me my dream house — don’t forget the garage for your  BMW, I will also be bringing my Jeep.”
You had hung up so softly, it took him several seconds to notice you did.
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It had already been a week when you waited for the house to turn into nothing but the summer breezes coming from the forgotten opened windows before you leaped off the bed, moving as quietly as you could to the front porch.
Beyond the garden, Hongcheon was so calm that you were afraid your whispers would unfold too loudly through the night. However, you sat down on the stairs still, your bare feet brushing through the warm grass as you unlocked your phone, reaching for the single contact you could possibly want.
It rang just a single time before Heeseung picked it up.
“Princess,” he said. You could swear he was smiling at the other end of the line.
“Take me somewhere?”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
Heeseung parked his BMW a little bit farther than the conventional, the headlights turned off. He didn’t wait for you to come to the car, the moment he pressed the parking brake, his door was opened and he rushed to you, his warmth involving your waist in a familiarity that made you ache. He swirled you, just once — pulling you out of the ground as his nose buried at the side of your neck, inhaling every little detail he could before he put you back on your feet and drew an inch away, just enough to encounter your gaze beneath the goldish street lights.
His bruises had gotten older, and lighter, already turning into a greenish tone and therefore making it more difficult to look at. But still, you reach for it, the tip of your fingers softly pressuring against his sensitive skin.
Heeseung leaned his forehead against yours. And all of sudden you could scent him, the summer he carried beneath his skin together with peonies. There was no scent of car exhaustion tonight, nor the scent of his leather jacket as he only wore a gray t-shirt and his washed jeans, but it was still very much your Heeseung.
“I missed you,” you said, voice nothing more than a soft whisper.
“I missed you too.”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
Heeseung drove you through the dense wood outside of the town, going down on a patch not meant to be passed through, but he seemed to know where he was going, and it was enough for you to adjust comfortably on the seat, bare feet up, legs clutched to your chest. Your dress slipped down on your thigh and gathered in the crease of your hips, showing off way too much but if anything Heeseung’s hand left the gear stick to rest on it, fingers spreading on your bare skin.
The clock on the dash told you the sun was closer to its rising than its setting, yet still, you could feel the warmth of the day brushing through the open windows of the BMW. Everything outside smelled like the moistness of the late summer.
“Where are you taking me?” you asked.
“It’s a secret.” Heeseung replied with a broad smile.
He dropped down a few gears just several minutes after, parking the BMW. The headlights only lit rocks, and only when you slipped out of the car you saw the swimming hole, pooled in the moonlight.
Heeseung stepped forward, kicking off his shoes first, and then pulling his t-shirt and jeans, allowing everything to fall with a dull sound on the ground.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking a night swim,” he said, a split second before he jumped in.
Heeseung submerged, his skin sparkling beneath the moonlight glow and the BMW’s headlights, all the drops catching the silver lights as he threw his head back in a laugh.
“Aren’t you coming, princess?”
You could feel Heeseung’s eyes burning your skin, watching you attentively as you slid the straps of your dress away, allowing the thin material to fall.
He said nothing as his gaze traveled down on you, accompanying each of your moves as you reached for the back of your bra and unclasped it. He just stood there, taking the angle of your shoulders, the swell of your breasts. Heeseung was cataloging every inch of you and checking if he hadn’t let anything escape at the first time with adoration.
As you sat on the rocks, feet reaching the water, the cold made it difficult for you to breathe. But before you had a chance to give a better consideration, you snuck in.
“You are crazy, Lee Heeseung,” you gasped.
He laughed at you, allowing the sound to resonate within the night once again as he ended the few inches between you, coming so close you could lift your hand and touch his damp locks, brushing it away from his forehead with no effort despite the height difference.
“But you love me,” Heeseung whispered, taking you anew. The words had left his lips so softly that if you weren’t paying close attention to him, you would believe it was just another passing breeze through your skin.
“Yes,” you whispered back. “I do love you.”
It was a strange thing. Over the past months, he had seen it in your eyes, tasted through your lips, and felt it through every one of your touches. Yet, the impact of how you wordly confirmed you loved him, lanced through his body.
He looked at you like you were a dream to him, and perhaps you were. You could hear the slight tremor in his breath when he exhaled. And the words that came later ached within you.
“I love you too — I love you so much.”
Your hands found the back of his neck, bringing his forehead against yours at the same time he grabbed your thighs, pulling it around his hips. The familiar pressure of his fingertips drawing patterns through your skin before he hitched you higher, your upper body floating above the water.
For such a dark place, there was a great deal of illumination and you could take sight of yourself. Your hair clung to your body, dribbling at the curves and emphasizing the swell of your breasts. The view just seemed to enchant Heeseung even more, his doe-eyes sparkled beneath the moonlight, shining like stars before he went down on you, trailing your stomach with soft kisses.
He whispered your name. The almost never said word grating over your skin.
“I can’t get enough of you,” he said. “I never can get enough of you.”
The headlights of the BMW went off, and Heeseung straightened you back to him, shivers spreading through your skin as his hands slid through you, tracing the slick ridge of your spine before finding the sides of your neck in the dim light.
You were unsettling, skin sparkling in the moonlight glow, and the moment you met his gaze, Heeseung felt completely dazed. His thumb pressed against your lips, just enough for you to part them for him, and allow his finger to slip through the tip of your tongue.
“What are you doing to me?” he groaned. But he was soft and gentle with it, a hint of a laugh when he kissed you.
Heeseung seemed so happy tonight, all crafted on the unconditional gaiety he deserved. And you weren’t willing to let the night end. You weren’t willing to let go of him — not now, not in a few.
Your fingers curled on the hair at his nape, pulling him closer, trying to end a distance that didn’t exist anymore. You could feel Heeseung entirely. From the way he shivered beneath your touch, to the way his breath hitched when you slipped down, mouth running through his throat.
“I want to stay with you.”
“Then stay with me,” he whispered. “For as long as you want.”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
Heeseung’s house was as lovely as you remembered — even now, when he closed the door behind you, cutting the only direct source of light, the house was radiant as if it had its own sun.
He stepped past you, reaching his hand out behind. At first, he just pinched your fingertips, but as he guided you through the stairs, he laced his fingers on yours, pulling you closer to him and guiding you through the corridor. He was skilled in finding the most silent places on the wooden floor, allowing your breaths to be the loudest thing resonating through the whole place.
The second-story was tinier than the first one, just a narrow corridor with three doors. Heeseung brought you to the nearest one, turning the light on, you blinked at a blue-tiled bathroom.
“You can go in first,” he told you, walking up to the shower, he turned the knobs and checked the temperature for you. “I will find you some clothes and — everything.”
You barely could nod before he stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Heeseung left you alone to shower, giving you enough time to fill the whole space with a sweet-smelling soap and when he did come back, he didn’t look at you, being deeply focused on the task of leaving the clothes at the sink.
“Hee,” you called. He raised his head at you, meeting your gaze through the fogged glass at the same time you tilted your head to the space in front of you in an unspoken invitation.
Even with the distance you could notice how his breath got caught, a moment of hesitation passing before he reached for the collar of his t-shirt, discharging it and then, his jeans, stripping it down together with his underwear. But all of a sudden, you understood why he was acting like this.
Both of the times you had been together, it was beneath the moonlight, hidden within the night. There was something unduly intimate about the fluorescent lamp above you. It illuminated every sinewy line of his body as he came to a stop in front of you. And it took every ounce of you to reach for the shampoo instead of him.
“Let me-” you started. However, Heeseung had kneeled in front of you, with no second thoughts, he just did it — meeting your gaze through his eyelashes, water pearling on the end for a second before he closed his eyes.
You threaded your fingers through his hair, and he threw his head a bit back, his palms spreading through your hips for support. He honestly didn’t know what to do with himself there. Heeseung couldn’t remember a time someone touched him so gently before you, not because you thought he was breakable, but because you thought he deserved this.
He allowed you to rinse his hair, only standing up when you subtly tap his hands. And then, he let you smooth over his bare skin, starting with his shoulders, and rubbing down to his chest, he groaned when you reached for his low abdomen, fingertips hovering dangerously close to his aching length.
“Princess,” he called. However, his words left his lips with no warning.
“You are hard.”
Heeseung chuckled at your statement, leaning on you, his lips met your ears, scattering shivers through your body despite the warm water.
“I have been struggling with it ever since you took your dress off in the swimming hole,” he confessed.
“Then I should take care of it,” you said, reaching for him, hand wrapping around his length. He cursed when you rolled your thumb through his tip, but he allowed you to stroke him at your pace nonetheless, edging him until his breaths were heavier, shorter, gasping as the only thing passing through his lips was your name, all wishful.
His head dropped forward, burying his nose against your shoulders, and you had to ask him to move, to look at you, to allow you to kiss him tantalizingly sweet, and nothing like the way you kept touching him. Nothing like the whine you accidentally let escape.
Heeseung drew away, all of a sudden before he grabbed your thighs, lifting you easily — perhaps too easily, and making your legs fold around his waist.
“You have been taking too much care of me, let me take care of you too,” he asked.
The bathroom felt smaller, brighter, and softer as you nodded, allowing Heeseung to push himself into you, calling your name, pronouncing each letter with an unreasonable fondness, and turning it into a mutter singing through his pulses.
His moves were careless this time, gone on all your teasing, but he still managed to make you tighten around him, fingers curling on the hair of his nape as your mouth parted against his.
Heeseung swallowed your noises, pressed kisses on your lips as he felt you shaking, spread his palms on the back of your thigh to hold you through your high, and helped you stand when you felt too weak to.
He turned the knobs, letting the bathroom fall silent before he wrapped you both in towels, his hands never letting you go as he guided you to sit between his legs at the toilet before he started rubbing your hair.
“Sorry, I don’t have a hair dryer,” he said.
“It’s better this way,” you admitted, your voice almost sounding purred as you inclined your head back. Heeseung chuckled at your actions, but if anything, his fingers worked slower, rubbing your hair with gentleness until it seemed dried enough to let you slip into the oversized t-shirt he had brought you.
You weren’t sure what time it was, but when he opened the door to his room. The world outside seemed vivid in comparison, a mist of light blue and purple coming through his opened windows.
Heeseung climbed to his bed first, subtly tapping the space at his side in an invitation, and when you followed, he pulled you against him, fitting your body to his — tangling you as much as he could into the circle of his warmth.
“Can you say it again?” he whispered. “What did you say in the swimming hole?”
“That I love you?”
“Yes.”
“Heeseung, I love you,” you said, leaning into him, your forehead on his shoulder, fingertips pressing against the exact place above his heart, feeling the cadence of his whole being as he exhaled, reaching for you too — curling his fingers above yours.
“I love you too, princess.”
The room fell silent, just the soft hustle of his thumbs brushing the inner curve of your wrist, slowly and carefully, causing you to close your eyes. And for the first time, you fell asleep to Heeseung’s beating heart.
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You woke up to the summer sunlight filtering through the still-opened windows of Heeseung’s room, the morning glow reflecting through the wind bell and dappling the room in a dozen of colors.
Heeseung was still asleep, the calm rise and fall of his chest beneath your fingertips. He held your hand exactly where you had left it above his heart last night, fingers curled around yours still. You didn’t want to slip away, not yet. But your sore throat hurt and the only cup of water visible had been dried by summer heat.
He stirred when you slipped away from his touch, but he didn’t wake up. His face remains calm, the dark curls of his hair shadowing his eyes as you left the room.
When you approached the kitchen, you heard the soft hustle of dishes echoing, drawers opening and shutting as a secure sign his grandmother was awake. And suddenly you were conscious of your current situation.
Heeseung had gotten you an oversized t-shirt, leaving barely anything of your thighs to see. Yet, the idea of her finding you in nothing but her grandson’s t-shirt as the first thing in the morning seemed somehow worse than coming in a mini and tight dress. But she only turned around to your presence, a smile spreading through her lips before she reached from across the tiny kitchen, taking your hands in a familiar squeeze.
“My dear,” she breathed out. “I had no idea you were here! Are you hungry? I have just prepared a few sandwiches and iced tea.”
“No- I don’t want to bother.”
“Just make me company for a few, I have to leave soon anyway — book club.”
“Oh, seems interesting.”
“Not at all, just a bunch of old women talking about romance books, but I should leave the house once in a while, you know? Not to mold,” she said, making you laugh.
Heeseung’s grandmother poured two cups of iced tea, handing one to you without any further speaking before she sat on one of the kitchen’s chairs, and gestured for you to do the same.
It was relaxed at first, all about her talking of her early years in this small county as the sun kept coming up, but then, she became stiff, approaching the moment Heeseung’s father died.
“It was a tragedy for me, of course. But it ruined Heeseung — I thought I had lost both of my son and grandson that night. You should’ve seen him a few years ago, you wouldn’t even recognize him — he was so lonely and gloomy, even with Jake and Jungwon nearby.”
“But you appeared here — right here,” she continued, pointing at the front door. “I haven’t seen him smile like that in months.”
“I know he is involved in something I wouldn’t be proud of — but he is a good person.”
“He is,” you whispered, not because she needed confirmation, but because it was good to say it out loud. “Heeseung is the greatest person I have ever met.”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
When you got back to Heeseung’s room, the morning sun had already given in, allowing the afternoon light to bathe his room entirely.
Heeseung had rolled in his sleep, his back now turned to the place where you had been and the sun perfectly angled upon him. The waves of his dark hair glinted in errant streaks of gold and his skin seemed warm.
You climbed the bed, wrapping your arms around his waist. He still had the sweet scent of the shampoo you both had used late at night, but you could swear there was something brighter on it, something like a change. You spread your fingers above his heart, feeling the cadence of his being.
Only when you had soothed, Heeseung reached for you too, his hand resting right above yours, intertwining your fingers together and letting you know he was awake.
“Where did you go?” he asked, his voice horse from sleep.
You had listened to his question, but you didn’t immediately reply, allowing another moment to hang as you came even closer against his sun-warmed skin, kissing his shoulders.
“I was talking to your grandma.”
“Somehow, it worries me.”
“Why?”
“Wasn’t she exposing me or something?”
“Yes,” you smiled. “People have something to tell me about your past.”
“Exactly — what if they tell you something that makes you want to leave me?” Heeseung asked, although there was a hint of entertainment in his voice, your answer was solemn.
“I doubt it can happen.”
Heeseung rolled to you, blinking with the sudden clarity. His eyes gleamed beneath the morning light. The brown dark mesmerizing turning hazel before he reached for you — fingertips tracing your face with a delicacy you imagined people devoted only to precious things.
His lips found yours easily, just like they always did. His hands spread across your cheeks, fingers brushing and tangling through your hair as he brought you closer as if he believed his existence lay in the acknowledgment of you — on how your heartbeats resonated together, how naturally your hands curled around his shoulders, and the sensations your bare fingertips are capable of drawing on his skin.
His tongue slid against your bottom lip, softly yet demanding, and you obliged immediately, letting him press his tongue over yours in a way that made your body filled with warmth.
You sighed into him, and Heeseung moved swiftly through the bed, hovering above you, his hands promptly leaving your face just to find the crook of your knee, lifting it to his hips before he leaned in, kissing the pulse on your neck. His lips moved tenderly against your skin, pinching as his hands found the hem of your — his shirt, working it up to your thighs, your waist. He paused only to slip it over your head.
His hands splayed through your waist, holding you still.
“Tell me what you want me to do,” Heeseung said. “I will do it.”
You grazed on him, eyes dazed as your fingertips found his lips in a silent and almost unconscious wish. Heeseung smiled as he glided away from your touch. Because he understood you just too well — because he was willing to do anything you asked him to.
“Y/N, my princess,” he confided. “My love.”
“Don’t get me wrong, I loved having you in my car, and the shower, but having you here — all pretty on my bed, I will take my time with you.”
His fingers dig at the crook of your knee, lifting your leg to his shoulder as he finished moving into the space between your legs. He traced a path of kisses over the inner of your thighs, greedy, pushy, and purposely avoiding the place where you needed him the most. He had said he was going to take his time with you, and apparently, he meant to be true to his words.
You whined at his actions, and he chuckled, giving one final kiss before he allowed his tongue to run between your lips, from the bottom all the way to the top. It was warm soft licks, before he gave your clit an attention that made your legs shake.
Your fingers tangled in his hair, nails scratching lightly against his scalp, just enough pressure to make him shiver beneath your touch. Heeseung deepened and you knew even with your eyes closed that he was giving you his sweet smile.
You made a lousy sound, clapping a hand over your mouth to stifle it before Heeseung reached for you, intertwining your fingers, bringing it far from your lips and down into the mattress.
“Don’t,” he whispered. “I want to hear you.”
He moved onto his knees, hair mussed from your fingers, lips rosy, and you would have felt embarrassed if he wasn’t looking at you like there was no one else in this world for him, but he was, and you reached for him, pushing at the waistband of his sweatpants, removing the only thing preventing you from feeling him fully.
His sweatpants hit his bedroom floor with a soft and ignorable thud before his lips were on you again, tongue pressing against yours, tasting like you still.
You folded your legs around his waist, thighs clenching around him, squeezing him almost unconsciously as he crowded into you, one forearm on the pillow by your head, holding himself over you as he pushed into you.
He hissed, looking down between your bodies, eyes glazed as he watched how you fit together. You sobbed when he clutched at you tighter, fingers spreading through your waist as his hips stuttered with impatience and greed.
“Am I hurting you?”
You shook your head frantically, fingers spreading at his neck, angling his forehead against yours, pressing kisses to his jaw, cheeks, and lips, mumbling how it was alright as you felt yourself coiling tighter and tighter, and Heeseung’s rhythm becoming languid.
He came when you did, as defenseless and relinquished as he could be, pulling away almost as if it broke him to let you go.
Heeseung lay by your side, and when you turned to him the sun dazed you. He shielded your eyes, resting his fingertips lightly by the side of your temples as you moved closer to him.
This time around, none of you bothered about clothes, cuddling as the rhythm of your hearts slowly came in pace with the whole summer.
“I never have and won’t ever love anyone the way I love you,” he whispered, breath threading into your hair like a secret.
“When I have to drive you back — let me try talking with your parents.”
                                      ┈┈┈┈
The house on the hill seemed as imposing as it did a few weeks ago, the three-story construction shadowing both of you from the golden sun as you walked through the driveway. Heeseung said nothing as you stopped on the front porch, he said nothing as you turned to him, reaching to his neck, threading your fingers in the hair at his nape, and angling him down to you.
He let you smooth him, brushing your nose against his, catching his bottom lip between yours in the taunting kiss he knew never in million times grow tired of.
“I am here,” you whispered, so softly, he almost didn’t hear it beneath the sound of his throbbing heart.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he said, and it took all of your strength not to wilt as you brushed the pads of your thumbs along his cheekbones. Heeseung always spoke his confessions easily, almost unconsciously, leaving the words to scatter and ache within you all alone.
“You won’t,” you said. “You won’t ever lose me.”
“Of course, I consider a lot of what my parents tell me, but Heeseung,” you paused, allowing his name to scatter through the breeze, all soft, and yours. “No one can carry my life for me, at the end of the day, I want to be with you, and I will be.”
“There’s no one else in this world like you,” you whispered. It was a phrase stolen from him, yet, it seemed effective. Heeseung tried to prevent his happiness from materializing through his smile because he knew he would look like the fool he was for you. Yet, you could see his happiness in his eyes. The tiny dazzle they had as Heeseung reached for your waist, drawing you impossibly closer to him.
“I am ready,” he said.
You opened the door slowly, and your parents together with your grandmother were revealed to be in the living room. A deck of cards being quickly forgotten at the center table as your father stood up from one of the couches.
The afternoon light turned everything dazing.
“Me and Heeseung — we would like to talk with you,” you said.
There was a small pause, a small gap in time when no one moved, no one breathed. But then, your grandmother reached out, enclosing her hands on yours and Heeseung’s wrists, dragging both of you to the couch too.
“We should listen to what the youth has to say,” she smiled.
Heeseung would be lying if later on he said he remembered perfectly how the moment unfolded. He remembered you had taken his hand on yours, caressing the back of his hand. He remembered your father had sat back on the couch, running his hand through his hair. He remembered your mother nodding in encouragement. However, he had no memory of how he did start talking, how the story of his life simply was spread beneath the passing minutes. 
Yet it did and when he finished he noticed everyone was listening to him, not letting the moment escape like him.
“How old were you?” your father asked. “When all of this happened?”
“Twenty-one.”
“It’s too young,” the man sighed, looking at your mother. They were silently talking, and Heeseung had this impression that he had encountered something too intimate — too unique of people who loved each other so he turned to you instead.
You had your gaze already fixed on him, eyes gleaming, lips curling on a smile.
“Do you love her?” your mother asked. You stopped all of a sudden, surprised by the sudden question, but Heeseung didn’t falter for even a second before he replied.
“Yes, I do.”
“Then that’s what matters,” she said. “I have been telling Y/N’s father, we surely do not approve your way of earning life, but it’s on both of you. I raised her wanting the best, and by the best, I mean her happiness — if you can guarantee me that. I don’t mind the rest.”
“And as long as you don’t race with her in the car,” your father added.
“I won’t, sir.”
“Please, no sir — we are all family here.”
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By the time Heeseung’s BMW reached the invisible line dividing the road from the shore, the sun had dipped to touch the horizon, the last sunset of the summer illuminating the ocean with straps of gold.
Your parents already had taken the road back to Seoul. Meanwhile Hayoung, Sunhae, that Jungwon guy of hers, and well, Jake were getting ready to take the opposite turn and go further into the small county — back to the university’s dorms, and its routine.
However, despite the gloomy sensation of the end, it seemed unbelievably peaceful, and vast.
You didn’t wait for Heeseung to turn the engine off, you leaped from the BMW the moment he parked, already barefoot and rushing through the sand as your laugh echoed through the cooling breeze.
Heeseung followed you, slowly, taking in how the water was hitting your thighs, damping the hem of your dress. He wasn’t surprised when you turned to him, the camera he had won for you at the carnival in your hands.
It seemed a lifetime since you both had been there, it seemed like no time at all.
“It’s the last one in this film,” you informed him, eyes squinting as you looked through the lens at him. “Do it prettily.”
You gave him no time, the flash came off, confusing him for a second before he saw you still grinning as you brought the camera away from your face, and he took the last step to reach you, palms spreading through your thighs, lifting you to his waist.
“You seem too happy to someone who’s going back to Seoul to start another university semester,” he said.
“My boyfriend is going with me, so of course I am happy.”
“Is he?” Heeseung asked.
“Yes, going to spend whole weeks with me.”
“Seems like he spoils you a lot.”
“He does,” you confirmed. “He says from the moment he saw me he was gone, willing to do anything I asked for.”
He laughed, throwing his head back, allowing the sun to bathe his skin, his mussed hair, beams of light simply not being able to not reach for him. He was all crafted on the unconditional gaiety he deserved as he closed his eyes for a long moment before he straightened himself back to you.
Your fingers spread through the sides of his neck, scattering shivers through his spine.
Heeseung had never believed in love, at least not the real thing, not the capable of awakening his soul and bringing peace to his mind type of love.
It happened to other people, in other places, but not to him in the small county of Hongcheon. Yet, it did.
As you leaned on him, forehead resting against his, lips brushing in a tantalizing kiss, he knew, that’s exactly what you had given to him, and he hoped he could give it back to you forever.
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ohmywon · 10 months
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athlete and math genius jake such a hot combo🙈🚫 im really bad at math so this is really messing with me so right. fr though I can totally imagine jake writing numbers and formulae and things and it's super hot. "SHE'S PRETTY CUTE?" shut uppppp now I too want a jake who shoots a shot for a date 😢
classmate au | sim jake
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❝ i’m sorry we only got 26/30 on this worksheet ❞
heeseung | jay | JAKE | sunghoon | sunoo | jungwon | ni-ki
jake…
oh jake.
student athlete and math genius jake
you’re in the same class but he feels so far because he hangs out with his rly pretty friends
u can only look from afar
he’s always a tiny bit late to class
always drawing attention to his pretty boy face 😞
at 7:30, the bell rings and classes start
at 7:31, jake walks into class late
but the teachers always give him a pass bc how could they not when he smiles at them like that and apologizes like that
even ur teachers are down bad
he probably becomes your class representative for that one strict teacher’s class bc they always have a soft spot for jake
u want the deadline of the homework extended? ask jake to message them
he sits in the middle seats
not too prim and punctual to be at the front
but still likes school enough not to completely goof around at the back
sometimes your math teacher lets you do quizzes and worksheets by pair
(it’s the only way some of you can get a passing grade)
by statistics and some type of sampling, you end up getting partnered up with jake
“hi, good morning,” he’d greet with his infamous smile
now you get why all the teachers swoon for him
he’s so cute. this is going to be a problem
this is going to be a BIG problem
you were already bad at math, and now there’s a big pretty distraction sitting next to you
though, tbh, you were also relieved when you heard your name with his bc he’s ltrly known as a math genius
he’s one of the students that teachers excuse for their math contests
and wait 😭 did he just say something to u? did he ask about a formula bc u honestly have no clue
“(name)?” he’d shake your shoulder gently and it’s enough to bring you back on earth
“sorry, did you ask something?”
“oh, i’m done … if u wanted to compare answers? or if u trust me enough?”
you trust him enough
he’s ltrly THE carry
jake will speedrun differential calculus like he’s writing the alphabet
uh oh.
why does he look so HOT with his pencil and the way he writes numbers
you’re going insane
you should never be paired with jake ever again
but by some twist of fate, you always end up as jake’s partner in numerous activities
lab work and experiments and communication reports?
“jake and (name),” the teacher would announce
ofc… typical of friends, they HAVE to push you around as you walk to your seat beside jake’s
while you’re of great help with anything else, you’re starting to feel bad about his literal carry in math tho
“are you sure it’s ok? i’m just rly horrible i’m sorry,” you’d apologize
he would just laugh and dismiss your concerns
“nooo, it’s okay. i’m fine! i can tell you didn’t get enough sleep last night”
(you spent the night binging a new show that came out)
your stomach doesn’t feel so good after that one.
who gave him the right to NOTICE things now???
when your teacher returns your paired worksheets, he has the GALL to apologize
a big fat 29/30 will be written on top and he’d say “oh i’m sorry we had one mistake 😕” like BOY SHUT UP !!!!
after your partner shenanigans, you’d start talking more in the classroom
he’d give u a fist bump if u bumped into each other in the hallways while walking with ur respective friend groups
sometimes even shout your name to get your attention only to wave at you
“why are you smiling like that?,” sunghoon would ask accusingly
and you know what? jake has no shame
“(name). she’s pretty cute, no?”
BYE absolutely no shame
so now, when he speedruns an activity, you’ll find him hovering around you until he starts to make conversation
if the teacher leaves early ?? suddenly he’s transported to the seat next to yours and flirting
being friends with jake is chaotic…. bc that would automatically mean being friends with HIS loud ass friends
pretty friends have upgraded to pretty LOUD friends
they’re so annoying too
“jake and (name), can you buy us water?”, heeseung would ask
WHY R U BUYING WATER FOR HEESEUNG
but jake’s already taking your hand and dragging you away bc he will take every opportunity to hang out with you alone
BTW computer science god idk i just got the vibes
during valentines that year, he codes you a little website please end me
mind you, you aren’t even together yet
he just codes for you as a friend 😂😂😂 as if anyone’s believing that
oh and he also avails those anonymous services so you’ll just be receiving flowers from the student council throughout the day
“oooooh, who are those from,” he would be smiling like it’d be so painfully obvious it’s from him
“do you like them?” NOOOOOOO he just wants to know ok!!! tell him you love them please
OK back to normal no more valentines
when class dismisses, you’d find him lounging around the basketball court with heeseung
sweaty….. wet hair…. oh dear
jake is a sight to see when he’s playing basketball
u usually sit at the bleachers anyway bc ur friends enjoyed watching
he is SOOOOO annoying esp now that you’ve grown closer over the months
he’d make stupid plays and draw attention to you 100%
“if i get this shot in, will you go on a date with me?”
cue the screams and the teasing and the fake vomiting as you’re pushed around
OFC he makes the shot
he’s sim jake, math genius AND student athlete
“so, tomorrow after class?”
“huh?? i thought you were joking??”
“what? no! have i not been obvious? i ltrly flirt with you evry chance i get??”
“well… idk! maybe you do that with everyone!”
“only you”
OK WISH I WERE YOU THEN 😒😒😒😒😒
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note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
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ohmywon · 10 months
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died on spot this is so cute so heartfluttering so hot and the lee heeseung effect 😵😵😵 GOOD LUCK CHARM OH MY GODDDDDDDD this too short but I can so imagine the movie like a to all the boys ive loved before series imagination level 🤡 heeseung so unrealll
classmate au | lee heeseung
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❝ hey, i’ll go ahead. i have to walk (name) home. ❞
HEESEUNG | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | jungwon | ni-ki
look…. i know this says classmate au
BUT but but but hear me out
he’s your senior
maybe a year or two years older
AND he’s your neighbor, next door neighbor lee heeseung
do you see where i’m going with this
he walks you home to school every morning and every after class
your parents r also pretty close so you’re always hanging by each other’s house
THO he’s more of like an unattainable senior so handsome 😞😞 yall dont talk much when you’re having that little family get together
he tries talking to u tho … but you run away pretty fast
it’s always that awkward sitting beside each other while your parents talk to each other
…. awkward eye contact
SO YEAH he walks you to school every morning and after class by your mom’s request
heeseung always walks by the side of the road like the gentleman he is
will pull you by the waist when you attempt to even walk on that side so he can switch you two
and always waits for you outside your class or by the student council office to walk you home
sometimes 💔💔💔💔 during basketball practice … he does that thing where he goes home ahead so he can walk u home
the moment you walk into the basketball gym, wide eyes searching for heeseung ?!
he’s already dismissing himself .. saying goodbye to his friends and the couch and slinging your bag on his shoulder
you think he only views you as a little sister this SUCKS !!!!!
ah you are so wrong.
oh also lee heeseung student athlete and face of the school, just thought i’d mention
sometimes, he even appears in your classes to assist the teacher like what CAN’T he do
the teacher encounters some tech difficulties with the powerpoint???
“hey (name), can you call heeseung?”
you quietly slip out of the classroom and hurry to his
(he gave you his class schedule in case you ever needed anything… so you know where to find him…)
“excuse me, mr. hwang is looking for heeseung?” you’d tell the teacher
and their whole class would burst into SCREAMS and teasing as heeseung is pushed towards the door
“hey, you okay? how was your day?” he’d always catch up with you in that small time
dear god please have mercy.
he’d have a hand on the small of your waist to guide you along the hallways too
AND TUTORING
Lee Heeseung who is naturally good at everything is also smart
he tutors you at his house after class when you’re having a hard time
as a reward, sometimes, you guys would play video games
you ended up falling asleep at his house once and heeseung had to tell his mom to call yours so she wouldn’t worry
you wake up to blankets draped all over you and heeseung sleeping on the floor i’m so sad
karaoke is always fun in these family outings bc your family always makes you sing duets
atp you guys have every disney and broadway duets DOWN and memorized
though it does make you blush and all giggly when he makes intense eye contact while seeing to you
“now she’s here, shining in the starlight. now she’s here, suddenly i know. if she’s here, it’s crystal clear, i’m where i’m meant to go.”
he is a fantastic singer and he makes you forget to sing your parts sometimes
ALWAYS ENDS A SONG IN A HUG while your parents violently clap in the background
during the sports festival, the teachers ltrly let him join all the sports and he just accepts 😭😭
if he’s not playing, he’s facilitating
“do you have an event for this year’s sports festival?” he’d ask one night as he’s walking you home
“oh no. i’m just joining the cheer contest with sunoo on the first day.”
“do you think you could cheer for me?”
HE’S ASKING YOU TO CHEER FOR HIM
of course you say yes
and his eyes are on you in every sport he plays
basketball… volleyball… badminton… you name them all!
he’d look to you before serving the ball and point at you when he shoots a ball in bkb
heeseung would win every game for you
because the thrill in your smile is too wide to disappoint
and also because he has a big fat crush on you
goes to hug you after every game
“my good luck charm” as he liked to call you
BYEEEEEE bye leave me alone please
you’re HIS good luck charm
you pretend to be annoyed because he’s sweating so he teases you by hugging you even more
he lets you hold his spare shirt AND lets you wear his spare jersey ……
by the end of the week, he wins a shit ton of medals and a trophy for being the MVP
lets you wear some of his medals 😭😭 honestly maybe even all of them
would come to you after the awarding and take off his medals to put it around your neck too
OBLIGATORY SPORTS FESTIVAL PICTURE WITH YOUR CRUSH
you guys hold the trophy together … he has an arm around you … like he ltrly has the poses thought out already
asks you to be his girlfriend on the walk back home
handcrafted you a medal already in case you’ll say yes
engraved on it is “best girlfriend”
damn you’ve only been together like a few hours and he already awarded you best girlfriend
honestly congratulations
you bagged face of the school and student athlete senior lee heeseung
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note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! i just thought it looked rly cute and coherent. let me know what you think! please discuss these with me i’m crazy
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ohmywon · 10 months
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too good i can. not. LEGIT SO HEART WRENCHING cried through every line like the description? the emotions and feelings? the word building? the atmosphere? someone drop the flowers on my grave this is so sad but so good ALL TIME FAV ANGST LIKE HOW CAN YOU WRITE THIS SO BEAUTIFULLY??? like how? how how how? i need lessons 😩 and definitely tissues too😫 the physical pain i felt in my heart like I was right inside this made up world like you know those cliche angel like ghost dressed in flowy white watching jake with a sad smile as he reads through the letter and like i also imagined suppose he finds another partner and you're there in that flowy white thing hovering around them watching them all happy and then jake turns and looks and for a split second he can see you giving him a sad yet happy smile? you're happy he can be free from pain now but sad that you had to leave 💔💔💔💔 oh ma gahd I need hugs this is too damaging. anyhow to sum it up too good to be true masterpiece, mad talented writer! 🤧 one in a billion
MARRIED UNDER TWENTY-FIVE / sjy
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SYNOPSIS : a look into yours and jake’s life as you meet, fall in love, get married, and lose each other— all under twenty-five. ( 5.3k )
or, eight months after your death, jake finds the courage to open your letter.
GENRE : heavy angst, bittersweet
WARNINGS : death, grief and grieving, heavy drinking, smoking, implications of substance abuse, one mention of intrusive thoughts, my attempt at cinematic parallels but in writing so i hope it's not confusing, switches between past and present. byf : written in italics are the contents of the letter
NOTE : was in the zone while writing this like the way i teared up?? boyfhee angst returns happy reading, everyone. ALSO big thanks to @flwrshee ri my bae for beta-reading this and reminding me to work on this from time to time lmfao. ib : richard feynman's letter to his dead wife (need someone who loves me the way he loves her)
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buried in jake’s drawer is the letter he found four months ago. actually, it has been sitting there for over a year, under the pile of other papers and envelopes, tucked in the lowest drawer of the shelf, one that is rarely ever opened. you had put it there for him to find it— hoped that he would find it because you couldn’t bring yourself to give it to him yourself. jake had stumbled across it four months after you left him forever. four months after walking and stumbling, after four months of staring blankly at his ceiling, the letter is the closest he can get to you. 
he keeps it with him, in his bag, sometimes tucked in his coat during winters, as a bookmark for the books he reads that take him to back you, even if you only exist as a figment of his imagination. he keeps it on the bed-side table before he goes to sleep, it’s there in front of him on evenings he drinks for hours on empty. the letter stays unopened— he couldn’t bring himself to open it. his fingers brush against the pale paper and it feels like a sword to his heart. opening that letter feels like tearing you apart, and four months is what it takes jake to sit by the kitchen counter with the letter once again; with pain in his eyes and a scissors by the side. 
eight months after you’re gone, jake finds the strength to read it. 
‘i think the first time i fell for you wasn’t at the bookstore,’
your handwriting feels like a warm hug after a long day. his fingers tighten around the loose sheet of paper, a faint crease forming along the edges. a single tear rolls down his cheeks.
‘it was that day at the bus stop. it was raining, i was running towards the bus stop, covering my head with my bag. fortunately enough, the bus arrived a minute after, and you happily lent me your jacket before getting off at your stop,’ 
and jake remembers it clearly. grey skies and merciless rain, he was already late for his evening classes and the weather didn’t seem to help. he already missed a bus before making it to the bus stop near his apartment and managing to catch another, his umbrella decided to malfunction in the worst way on seemingly the worst day. his perfectly styled hair was ruined thanks to running in rain, across and under the sheds he could find. jake was so sure, it was the worst day in the nineteen years of his life, until the bus arrived at the stop, and his eyes handed on you as you stood at the bus stand, annoyed at the weather. 
jake could hear one of his friends calling his name from a distance as soon as he gets down from the bus, but all he did was look at you and offer you his jacket— the most far-from-normal and astonishing thing he had ever done— before you aboard the bus, shooting him a soft smile from the windows as it drove away.
‘i still don’t know why you did that,’ 
reading further, jake realises that he doesn’t know why he did that either. the two of you weren’t even heading in the same direction. he was rushing to the university campus while you wanted to catch the bus to your way home. the chances that he would get his jacket back were low, almost zero. there are days when he sits by the window and thinks about all the stuff you did together, about everything he did that led him to you. the jacket, perhaps it was supposed to end up with you, maybe it was the only way nineteen year old jake could’ve talked to you and get one step closer to your world after admiring you from the sidelines for months. 
‘the bookstore, i think it’s a place where i realised that i’m in love with you. a place where i made all my decisions about you, where i shared my firsts and lasts with you— as promised. if you’re wondering why i’m writing a letter in this date and era,’ 
his eyes are a little blurry, there’s a picture of you in the said book store in his mind. it’s like a nineties short film— a grainy image, slightly blurred, the voices are muffled, but jake feels every emotion down to the very core of his heart. 
on some days, he ends up in front of the same bookstore. there are evenings he sets out on a journey with no destination, wherever the roads take him. his eyes are up towards the sky, usually towards the venus shining like a gemstone, he likes to think it’s you, that you ended up being the favourite star in the sky. on evenings like those, jake sits outside the very bookstore his and your story originates from and lets his mind play the picture, tracing over the image of you in his mind. sometimes, he goes inside and sits at the same place you both used to sit, he’d pick the same books you used to read, occasionally coming across tiny doodles you left on some pages even though it violated the rules.  
‘it’s because i’m afraid i haven’t loved you enough,’ 
the words hit him like a train travelling at hundreds of kilometres per hour. jake pauses, putting aside his glass of alcohol, letting the words and tears you spilled on the paper diffuse through the tips of his fingers, wanting them to flow like they’re the blood in his veins. he reads it all over again, a single tear rolls down his cheek, a lifeless sigh escapes his mouth.  
‘because you were there on nights i stayed in the library to study for exams. you were there, at my door, whenever i needed you to drive me to classes. you were there outside my class, waiting for me, during lunch when i needed someone to hear my complaints, at the bus stop on days it got late because you didn’t like the idea of me going home all alone at night,’
because you were there on noons that jake had trouble remembering reactions of carboxylic acids and amines. you were there to bring him snacks or lunch whenever he got a little too immersed in concepts of quantum mechanics to even remember about his meals. you were there when he called you to complain about his professor, who kept adding his name to every single project, all because jake was an excellent student. when you stayed with him throughout the evening and beyond at the campus, accompanying you to your apartment late at night was the least he could do to thank you. 
‘you were there on the night it was raining and the power went out. i still remember how you looked— drenched and worried with your phone’s flashlight turned on, standing at my doorstep. you said that the crime rates were high and that it’s better for me to stay at your place that night. you were there for me day, noon and night, and all i’m doing in the end is saying goodbye.’ 
it was his first instinct— maybe even beyond first, if it exists, because the power went out in your whole neighbourhood, and jake was already calling you while running down the streets, towards your apartment, with nothing but his flashlight to guide him through the complete blackout that night. when you asked him why he was at your place, he spent ten minutes looking for an appropriate reason. perhaps, it was because he wanted to see you, or because he was worried to death, maybe acts of service are how you both look after each other— doing favours and being the helping hand. jake didn’t know, he still doesn’t know, as he sits by his kitchen counter, letting the small sips of alcohol intoxicate his systems gradually, killing him slowly, in a way that hurts so right. asking you to spend the night at his place was the toughest and the bravest decision jake had made in his entire life. 
‘agreeing to do that summer festival dance with you is still the best decision i’ve ever made, my proudest moment, and letting you step into my life was the second best. nothing compares to when you joined the music club and changed my life forever.’ 
the summer festival dance— jake remembers it, the memory is as clear as a crystal in his head, ingrained in his mind, every single second playing at the back of his mind even when he’s half wasted, as if he’s reliving the moment. no one had enough time to dedicate themselves to a mere summer festival dance, but jake saw you looking at the flyers on the notice board just three minutes after he had told jay that dancing was not his thing, and he knew he needed to get that dance with you. 
getting partnered up with you was a pure coincidence, but everything that led to it wasn’t. the deliberate bumping in the hallways and the extra cups of coffee that jake bought every morning for a friend that never seemed to attend classes, everything led to him and you standing in the practice room in front of him, helping him come up with dance steps for audition, which finally led to his selection on the team. 
jake attempts to gulp down all the contents of his glass before realising that it’s empty. another sigh falls off his lips as he reaches out for the bottle kept across the counter, pouring him yet another glass for the evening, another day spent drinking while drowning in the thoughts of you, another line of intoxication, another stray tear rolling down his face, another memory creeps inside his brain— this first dance rehearsal. 
he could’ve sworn, his heart stopped beating for good ten seconds when the instructor told him that he needed to lift you up for a dynamic step during the intro. it was simple— you in front of him, his hands on your waist, he would lift you up— but the hands on the waist, his hands on your waist, jake felt like he was about to pass out. the second time his heart skipped a beat was when you grabbed his hands and put it on your waist because he was hesitating beyond belief, and that was the beginning of everything. 
and the hand stayed there for as long as jake could remember. his hand resided on your waist whether you both were crossing the road, or sitting on a park bench while you showed him pictures of layla you look the evening before, or while taking mirror selfies, or in all those moments that he spent slow dancing across the living room with you. it was as if your waist had been the home his hands were searching for and now that you’re gone, they feel empty. in the silence suffocating him, sitting on a chair with his head hung low, the floor looks so pretty. there's a faint reflection of him on the tiles, then his eyes land on his hands.
maybe it's the timing that has been making him feel this way. perhaps, it's the location, the empty rooms with threatening silence and the empty streets, the empty hallway, the empty hours, the lack of something and abundance of everything— it's making him go insane. it’s the empty pockets of the seconds that pass by, an undisturbed wave of silence that is disturbed everytime he sighs or gets his glass on the granite kitchen countertop, pouring himself another glass of cancer.
he sniffs, it could be from cold or tears. jake can’t point to the reasons anymore. his gaze settles on your letter that lies on his lap, a few of his tears soak through the paper. he puts his glass aside once to pick up the letter and pads on your words with his fingertips, not wanting them to get smudged by his tears. occasionally, he tries to convince himself that this is a dream. that you're here, somewhere, perhaps at work or at the nursery, maybe out shopping with a friend or at your parent's house because you've been missing them lately. jake imagines himself waiting for you at the station or the bus stand or the airport, smiling like a fool because he hasn't seen you in days and finally he can have you close to him, his lips on yours, your hand in his,
but now, his hands feel emptier. 
there's a yearning for something he doesn’t know. his apartment feels emptier, the stillness amongst your stuff that lies around even after eight months of your death is paralysing. his arms stretch across the bed at night in hopes of feeling something, anything. he takes another sip from his glass, eyes focusing on your letter once again as he reads further. 
‘you can call me crazy but every second with you felt like living in a whole new world. i started noticing things i didn’t before— seriously, who even smiles while watching wind ruffle through clothes hung up for drying? it was as though i was living a monochromatic life, the same routine, same pattern; then it was you, and everything around me became so beautiful. suddenly, i stopped caring about assignments because i needed to talk to you all night. i didn’t care what i was getting into by skipping prof. hong’s lectures because we got to hang out together. i was knee deep in troubles but god, i was so happy because i had you standing in front of me, and i knew you’d pull me out. i know you’d be on the ninth cloud while reading this, probably even call me stupid but i don’t mind because it’s true; i am madly, stupidly, crazily, insanely in love with you,’ 
jake remembers the day he came to your apartment for the very first time. 
you two weren’t dating, but the line in between had started to blur, fading into something none of you could see but both of you enjoyed. amidst alcohol and the faint odour of cigarettes that encapsulates him, being all the reasons behind his stumbling steps and hazy mind, jake could still see you clearly in the back of his mind— the way you glowed under the mid-morning sun, the warm breeze sweeping away stray strands of your hair out of your face, and your arms raised up above your head to hang the clothes up for drying. he could make out your smile through the silence between you two. no words were shared, but the fluttering glances and quiet smiles said more than any words could ever convey.
and then jake realised— it wasn’t just you feeling this way. 
the presence of something intricately new in your daily routine, although too minute to point out with your fingers, lingered throughout his days and nights after meeting you. suddenly, the boring computer science lessons didn’t seem bad, for you would visit him after the classes. jake, who used to arrive in class exactly on time, started arriving minutes and hours early just to see you, maybe, even strike a conversation. you had mentioned to him your favourite thing about him— the way his hands hesitatingly slide inside his pockets whenever one of your friends mistook him as your boyfriend. it was the way he smiles, the subtle rosy tint on his cheeks, the shy gaze travelling everywhere but to your face because he was too embarrassed to look at you. being mistaken as each other’s lovers was a mistake none of you clarified, and it was only a matter of time before it came true.
when his eyes settled on your panting for hair in a secluded corner of the hallway after running out of professor hong’s classes while he was just about to notice you two was the moment jake fell in love with you.
and jake falls first, he falls hard. 
because there were two tickets to the movie in his pockets with words of asking you out on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to be spoken, and he was too busy being enamoured by your laughter as you leaned against the wall, catching your breath. your laugh is the music to his ears, watching you is better than any movie ever directed, and the feeling of his lips on you just a minute later in the same corner of the hallway is still the best feeling he has ever felt in his entire life. you were like a painter and his life— a canvas; and it was only after you he started seeing colours.
jake could get any girl he wanted but it was only after you, he realised who he needed in his life. 
‘remember the day you proposed to me? i cried all night.’
and jake lets out a dry chuckle as he reads through those words, gripping his glass a little tighter, feeling the carved patterns through the tip of his fingers. his eyes travel to the ring adored on his finger. it’s one thing keeping him close to wherever you are, and his eyes occasionally travel to the pen lying stray across the counter after he wrote something he, himself, doesn’t member. his fingers brush over the words you’ve written, letters that insinuate of you as he weep with love— jake wants to write back to you but he couldn’t, for he doesn’t know your new address.
‘it felt like a fever dream, the thought of marrying you. we met at nineteen, we fell in love at twenty, we got married at twenty-two— all under twenty-five, it was scary. it was like a thrill ride, like a rollercoaster, i had my parents tell me to wait things out. there were people who told me things, words about how i should be sure of who i’m marrying, certain if that person is right for me. it was the world against you and me, and i hate to admit that i understood their stance, but they never knew you like i do. they knew the jake who i fell in love with deeply enough to marry within four years. in their story, it was you and me and our young and immature love, and that’s it.’ 
it’s ironic because jake didn’t sleep all night after you said yes to his proposal. getting married at twenty-two was an adventure, you being the general instigator all, and he would just follow. waiting things out wasn’t even an option when it came to you, he knew what he wanted. you cried even while buying your engagement rings, on the wedding dress trial, the day before the wedding, and jake was there, every single time, holding you close, smiling against your lips as his kisses soothed you down. his heart was overflowing with love, with happiness he couldn’t contain.
being engaged was an eccentric feeling overall.
you weren’t his girlfriend, nor his wife. fiancée would be a better term, but jake called it a phase of transition. the knot was yet to be tied, people tried convincing you two out of it left and right. uncertainty spun in the air instead of saccharine smiles that usually cloud the days during weddings. it was the world against him and you— him, you, and your young immature love, a pair of rings exchanged, a promise made, a promise to stay.
and jake chuckles again, half annoyed, perhaps at fate, perhaps at himself. you promised to stay. another sip of alcohol goes down his throat, it tastes bitter than it used to. your picture in his head gets clearer as his vision starts to lose focus, your laughter echoes through the cracks in his heart. it reflects through every corner of his body, it stays inside with a yearning that makes him ache for you. your memory is now a child that he tries to lose in a grocery store, but also a place he comes to at the end of the day because nothing quite feels like home anymore. 
‘do you remember that conversation we had about secret codes? one that went on about how even inanimate objects could have ways to communicate? that is how i feel about you. it’s untranslatable, i cannot put it in words for others to understand. it’s a language that only me and my heart know.’
it all started on your very first marriage anniversary— heavy rains, skies painted grey, thunders seemed to exhibit their own orchestral opening. inside, the place was warm, his arms. sitting on the couch as you two sipped on hot chocolate, wrapped in blanket and soft giggles and laughter that emerged everytime one of you tried and stole a kiss. jake constantly apologised for not being able to do much for you and you would so exquisitely whisper to him how nothing matters as long as you have him while tracing your lips all over his face. he doesn’t remember when the conversation went from talking about how your kids would look to discussing whether the paintings hung up on the walls on your living room speak as well. no conclusion was drawn and the whole conversation was discarded as just another silly discussion, although jake knew what to make out of it.
the way you laughed when he tickled your sides, or the giggle that danced off your lips when his lips brushed against the tips of your fingers, the rhythm your heart beat when he placed his head on your chest, holding you ever so close, the conversations you two had by just looking into each other’s eyes. jake still can’t put it in words, it’s beyond the understanding of the world. he can blather about you to the stars and beyond and they would still not know you, but jake knows that if you were to come to him with a face he had never seen and a voice ever so unfamiliar, he would still know you. you’re far too well intertwined in his soul, he feels pieces of himself disappearing every time a distant memory of you blurs in his mind.
and perhaps, the stars will go out before he forgets you.
‘i don’t know if i chose the right university to graduate from, if my major was worth the effort, if giving up on caffeine was actually good for my health. there are a lot of things i’m unsure of, but jake, my darling, you, you’re one thing i know i got right. you’re something i’d choose over and over again, over a thousand times over a thousand years in a thousand different worlds. people have their doubts but i don’t, because i know that if i’m ever given a chance, i’d choose to take your jacket again, i’d have that dance with you, i’d fall for you at nineteen and i’d marry you under twenty-five once again.’ 
there’s a sense of uncertainty that always plagued his mind, at all points of his life. even now, when he’s sitting by the counter drinking glasses after glasses, an ashtray just a few inches away with the smoke still emerging like lifeless souls looking for their graves. there’s a voice that is telling him to stop, it sounds like you, or maybe, it’s just the alcohol playing tricks again.
he’s not sure.
nineteen year old jake didn’t know if he wanted you. he had a lot on his plate— expectations from people he knew, a whole life in front of him and he was out in the wild, with no plans or whatsoever. you were like another wind blown past him one august afternoon, your smile just another thing his eyes passed by, yet the first thing to flood his mind at night. it’s the sheer lack of certitude— why did he give you his jacket? why did his mind think of only you when it came to the summer festival dance? why is it that only your eyes seemed like his entire world? jake has been walking with his steps laced with hesitation, a fear of what could go wrong. it didn’t matter when it came to you. nineteen year old jake didn’t know if he wanted you, albeit he knew he didn’t want anyone else to have you.
‘you’re probably wondering why i’m writing this instead of telling you when i had the time, or why i didn’t give this to you sooner. it’s because i want you to read this if you ever feel lost, and i wanted to take my time and choose the right words. i wished for a life where i wouldn’t have to live without you, and if i knew that would end up with heavens changing our fates, i would’ve done anything to save you from this pain.’ 
his eyes are the first to remember. the face that he once cradled in his hands, now just a figment of his memories, an illusion he sees through mirrors and turns around frantically, heart beating out of his chest, hoping you’re still here. sometimes, he sits at the bus stands and formulates your responses to everything happening around. he sighs, brushing his fingers over the wedding ring as he pictures you looking up at him with a smile, as if you’ve never been happier. the way he had felt and the way he feels— the bittersweet ache between having and wanting— your words drown him in that pain over and over again.
loving you, to jake, is like knowing you before he actually got to know you. as if you had always existed in his heart and your presence only completed the puzzle. and in that brief moment between— wrapped in your arms, he would think, how lucky i am— a pause as he snaps back to reality.
how lucky he was.
‘i know this is an impossible bargain, i cannot swap your pain for something else even though i wish i could. i cannot make you forget me so that you can live a better life. it’s a pity, a shame, i’m sorry,’ 
he furrows his brows at your words, the one about living a better life without you, it’s a lie, a hypothesis never to be true. you held him close at times he didn’t feel like himself, when his own skin disgusted him and his own thoughts told him to cut the string, you wiped his tears and accepted his pain like your own— jake sniffles above the silence in the room— how could he live, when the very person who taught him to live left him forever? 
‘so for you, jake, my love, i wish you a lifetime of happiness and health. i want you to read this and realise the impact you had in my life. if you ever feel like we got to spend a very little time together, one that went by in a blink, i want you to know that your presence is something i’d hold in my heart for a thousand lifetimes. i won’t tell you to move on quickly, it’s hard, i know. instead i want you to take your time. go easy on yourself. let me go, one by one, one finger at a time,’
he reads the same words over and over again— let me go. to let you go, oh, how he wishes he could do that, but that’s the consequence of falling in love. jake would go out in the mornings to find a purpose, his ring kept undisturbed on the bathroom counter, and he would return home in the evening, back to silence and sorrow, holding the ring in his hand, fist close to his heart, him on the bed, and the night fills with his sobs.
jake didn’t lose you all at once, but instead, he’s losing you slowly, bit by bit, over and over again. he loses you whenever he absentmindedly calls out your name from across the house, only to be met with cold silence. he walks down the street and loses you the moment he sees a couple walking past him, hands intertwined, realising his hands would forever remain empty. he loses you everytime he thinks of kissing you, holding you, wanting you; every time he sits on the couch and watch the skies pour outside, drinking hot chocolate all alone. he loses you when nights get cold and he has no one to hold, and in the morning when he wakes up to the emptiness across the sheets, he begins to lose you all over again.
it’s hard to let you go, one finger at a time, when everything prompts him to get on his knees in front of the universe and beg for one chance to pull you back in his arms, to hug you for one last time.
just once more.
‘there wasn’t a second spent with you when i wasn’t smiling. you made me the happiest person in this entire world and in return, i wish the same for you. so, go and live the life you’ve wanted to live. do everything you had planned and become the person you want to be. when your friends reach you out, go out with them and drink your heart out. you’re not alone because your love isn’t the first to leave. even worlds apart, i’m with you. i’ll be there next to your favourite umbrella hoping that you remember to take it on rainy days. on nights you can’t sleep, i’ll be there holding your hand and singing to you. one day, you’ll be fifty, and i’ll be there with you. when you turn ninety, i’ll be there and i will still love you the same as i did when we were twenty. and if you fall in love with someone and decide to take the vows again, i’ll be there with you, and i’ll be there hoping for the happily ever after that you deserve.’ 
and unknowingly, you went away making yet another promise to stay, another commitment you couldn’t keep. jake knows his love isn’t the first to leave, it stays there, waiting, weeping, wanting. it stays everywhere you’ve ever been, next to your favourite mug that is still on the shelf, next to his. his love is with your toothbrush in the bathroom, with the picture of you and him on your very first date that is adorned in the photo frame kept in the bedroom. it’s ingrained in all the post-it notes you wrote to him that he has kept safely in a box, in all the matching jewellery you had got for the two of you, in every corner of the house that cries, yearning for you. 
he could be fifty and his love would be still there, in the fading polaroids and letters torn from the corners. at ninety, his love would be still there, waiting for you, his heart aching because he wanted to get old with you by your side. his love will stay there, for a thousand lifetimes, over a thousand years. it turns out, jake is just good at sad things, waiting, holding on, remembering.
‘whatever comes forth, wherever life leads you, know that i am with you,’ 
as for your words— jake scoffs, burying his head in his hands, tears smudging between his palms and cheeks— loving someone else isn’t even an option. 
to him, you, dead, are better than anyone else alive. 
‘until we meet again.’ 
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ohmywon · 2 years
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OMG THIS SOUNDS SO INTERESTING!! pls add me to the taglist @/wonvelvet tysm😚 i can't wait to read this also it does say popularity!yeonjun but i wonder if jun is going to be the script popular sunoh or is he going to be a hyeyeong like guy who's popular OH OH this raises the question... will there a hyeyeong here🤫
RING MY ALARM . . . !
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SYNOPSIS: in a world where love rules the world with the help of the love alarm, choi yeonjun lives a life in which he receives attention wherever he goes. with his handsome features and charming personality, his alarm never stops ringing. but when he meets the one person who doesn’t seem to care about him at all, how far will he go to have her ring his alarm back?
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PAIRING: popular!yeonjun x female!reader
GENRE: fluff, smau, crack, lovealarm!au
WARNINGS: jokes about death, (more to be added soon)
TAGLIST: open! reply to this post or send a message to my inbox to be added!
STATUS: coming soon !!
STARTED: 06/15/22
ENDED: ???
A/N: based on the kdrama "love alarm" !!
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BEFORE WE GET STARTED . . . !
PROFILES: 1 I 2 I 3
01 . . . ego
(MORE COMING SOON)
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taglist: @sooyul @velvet-chuu @highly-functioning-mitochondria @gu8ki @hyuneyeon @soobsfairy444 @uncoveredsun
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ohmywon · 2 years
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⸻ EVERY STORY · L; HEESEUNG ˎˊ˗
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summary ▸ “every story deserves to be heard.” that’s what he told you, and slowly, you began to understand what he meant by that.
pairing ▸ lee heeseung x fem!reader
genre ▸ violet evergarden!au, strangers-to-friends-to-lovers!au; mailboy!heeseung, auto memory doll!reader, so much fluff, angst, heartwarming, kind of slice of life
other characters ▸ original characters, kim jiwoo (chuu), park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon, brief mentions of hwang yeji and choi beomgyu
words ▸ 21.8k
warnings ▸ explicit language, food mentions, alcohol mentions,  mentions of injuries, mentions of infirmaries and illness, minor character death, brief mentions of war, mentions of blaming oneself, very brief make out, places in this are fictional and some are not canon in the anime (if i miss anything don’t hesitate to let me know), mc is kinda reckless and nosy/meddlesome in this LOL she’s just stubborn and i love her so much okay? she’s also whipped for heeseung but mood right?
song rec ▸ Another Sunny Day, The Voice in My Heart, In Remembrance, To The Ends of Our World, Back in Business, A Place to Call Home, Those Words You Spoke to Me - All songs from the Violet Evergarden Original Soundtrack
a/n ▸ hey guys! i’m here with a story i really had so much fun writing!! <33 this is my entry for the “another world” collab by @setsugekka​ (check out the other writers’ fics as well!!)✨ i chose violet evergarden as my anime because it’s one of my favorites, the animation, music, and story really captivated me (i highly recommend it)!! i had so much fun writing this and to finally share it with you all means everything!! i hope you all enjoy~!! (( please don’t hesitate to come into my inbox and give feedback, i encourage it!! even if it’s incoherent thoughts or keyboard smashing, or simply “i liked it a lot” ;3 ))
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☕— like my writing and wanna support me? consider buying me a coffee here!! do let me know what you thought of this story by sending me an ask here!! :3
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i.
Willowdale, it was finally in sight as you looked out of the train window. It was your first day and you were already heading to work, the thought made you very excited. You’d dreamt of this moment ever since you finished your training to become an auto memory doll. 
Your teacher knew how much you wanted to work at Willowdale’s postal company. Although it wasn’t quite as renowned as Leiden’s, it was the one you always remembered. An auto memory doll came from Willowdale to write letters for your small town once, and she was so refined, so beautiful, and the fact that she was able to convey the emotions and stories of so many people inspired you. The reactions people would give her letters really astounded you, even though you’d never know what the contents of the letters were, they were always positive. You wanted to make people feel that way with letters of your own. 
To this day, you couldn’t remember the name or even the face of that beautiful doll, just the beautiful navy blue dress with gold detailing she’d arrived and left in, and the burgundy leather briefcase that held her typewriter. Just like a gentle spring breeze, she was gone without a trace, but the letters she’d left behind left an impact on you that you couldn’t forget even if you tried. 
You remember being a happy child who was lucky enough to receive one of her letters, and you asked her to write it to your future self five years from then. You still had that letter with you to this day; kept it close to your heart and re-read it often. You even brought it with you on this journey. 
As the train pulled into the station, you all but jumped out of your seat. You took your first steps in a new place, on new ground, and you smiled. This was a new start for you, and in Willowdale of all places, the place you’d dreamt of living in for so long. Your smile was threatening to stretch your cheeks. 
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ohmywon · 2 years
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okay so im writing this as i read along and god idk what's gonna happen next but i really wanna thank jung yeeun for starting it all🥺(edit: i take this back, ty.) if it hadn't been for her miss yn wouldn't even bat an eye for lee😪 ATHLETE!HEESEUNG IS MY FAVORITE AND OH MY GOD RUGBY PLAYER HEESEUNG 😱😱😱 IS SO ATTRACTIVE but im already getting a really bad feeling about this cupids law!heeseung.. he's sus. "A stubborn man who always got his way. The worst kind to deal with." THIS IS BAD BAD😧😟heeseung is annoying he is super annoying like way too annoying but i have to admit with the looks he has it would balance the annoyance. like yk if i were to be in yn's position i would be annoyed but then he's so good looking i might get distracted😶
There should be a Hersey’s bar in the pocket of my Jean jacket. Eat it, okay? OKAY I HAVE DECIDED THIS IS MY FAVORITE FAVORITE LINE IN THE WHOLE FIC (even though i haven't finished it yet) heeseung is confusing really i can't understand exactly what's going on with him. okay no i feel bad for yeeun.. (edit: take this back too) she was just trying to get his attention and 😕 hopefully she doesn't get heart broken (edit: taking this back as well.) UMMMM WTF LEE HEESEUNG? HE'S SO STUPID DAMN STUPID BOY SLEEPING AROUND TO DISTRACT HIS FEELINGS OH MY GOD THAT'S LITERALLY THE WORST THING. okay this is going to be sad i just know it the ending's going to hurt. yeeun doesn't seem that great anymore i agree with you yn😔 uh what they just had a fight..? heeseung is being too rude, crossing the line i might say and yeeun,, yeeun is just so two faced girl what you seemed so innocent in the beginning but you're actually so self centered yn absolutely did not have to stand up for that type of girl. FR FK THE CUPID SHIT. JWISIKSKAIIW THIS IS SUCH A TURN OF EVENTS??? HE EXPLAINED/APOLOGIZED? THEY KISSED? YN ACCEPTED HIS APOLOGY HONEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR IS SUHLCH A RED FLAG AND READILY JUST ACCEPTED HIS APOLOGY.
_+$"@_×€%×& @WFHSUWGGWG25W ST :□Tavtava z WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTR JUST HAPPENED WHAT WHAT WGAT WHAT DID I JUST READ YN WHAT TF DID YOU DO???? UH WHAT I CAN'T PROCESS THIS GOD WHAT? SO LIKE SHE CLOSED HIM OFF AND HE'S WILLING TO KEEP TRYING okay i like that i like angst like this BUT IM SRRY PERSONALLY YN AND HEESEUNG HERE ARE NOT AT ALL A GOOD MATCH AND YEEUN SHE CAN GO AND BE ALL INNOCENTNSHE WANTS BUT LIKE OH MY THIS WAS SUCH A ROLLARCOASTER?? I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS HEESEUNG AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS YN but i really loved the story sei you wrote so well it was great!!!!! your talented self did it again!! congratulations on successfully writing your first written fic on here and that too so amazingly i don't think this needs a sequel it's very well explained and the whole theme has come across very clearly. I WOUOD ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO READ MORE LIKE THIS FROM YOU WHEN YOU COME BAVK AND HAVE TIME ESPECIALLY THAT SPY HOON FIC YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT😋
CUPID’S LAW | NEVER FALL IN LOVE
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PAIRING › Play boy! Heeseung x fem! reader
SYNOPSIS › After a bland highschool experience, you immediately gravitate to your university’s most outrageous matchmaking club, “The Cupid Club.” Your job was simple: to collect information on your client’s love interest and then pair them together. After two years on your “job,” everything became less horrific and getting couples together almost seemed like a natural occurrence. That is until you’re tasked to collect information on Lee Heeseung, the infamous rugby captain who is coincidently known as the biggest player on campus.
GENRE› college au, angst (I said it was major angst in the preview, but after writing it, I realized that it’s not actually that sad), consultant! reader x rugby captain! Heeseung, heartbreak, crack, fluff
WARNING(S) › swearing, heavy drinking, mentions of sex
WORDCOUNT › 18.4k (I apologize beforehand)
NOTES › This is my entry for @jungwoniics ’ “just out of reach” collab
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Love was an unexplained phenomenon that entwined souls together. It was an experience of rather difficult trifles which blossomed into ultimate bliss. To be with someone you found truly admirable and to lead a life with them for as many years as they lasted was society’s idea of a dream come true. Love seemed to be something like a goal to people, while to others, it was rather a burden. To you, it was a lackluster ordeal filled with complications and hurdles — an experience you didn’t want to indulge in.
You hated when September strolled along. Every autumn leaf gracefully leaving the comfort of the branches to experience the harsh winter chills yet again this cycle. It was similar to all the young adults who traveled distances away from the warmth of their homes to lead a rather dreadful college life.
The giddy freshmen were always entertaining to watch. The yearning they all had to start fresh, lead a new life, to grow, and become a part of society.
That is what college was
A greater look into society.
Keep reading
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ohmywon · 3 years
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OKAY THAT WENT SUPER QUICK FROM S2L TO MARRIAGE???? i ain't complaining though i really loved this💖 it was super sweet and fluffy!!!! AND THE FACT YOU WROTE ONE OF MY FAV TROPES LIKE I REALLY DIDN'T THINK YOU WOULD GO FOR S2L FOR THE REQUEST but you did omg and it turned out great!!! it was simple but cute ahahh jsjaksj i want a heeseung too🤧
## watch you step. — l. heeseung
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content/warning(s): heeseung x clumsy!reader, strangers to lovers.
wc: 0.4k
note: ,,,,,,,, this is 🤠 shit,,, im sorry this took so long shdbsdjh @wonvelvet hope u like it AAAAAAAA <3
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“oh, watch your step!”
those were his first words to you.
you heard as you step off the slippery curb, but you’re too late. but thankfully, the stranger that gave you the warning wasn’t. he grabs your wrist, holding you by the waist as you groan. “you okay?” he softly asks and you hum.
“thank you.” you say with a small frown as you look up at him. your eyes meeting his sparkly doe eyes with an adorable gentle smile on his lips. “i’m sorry, the day’s just no good.” you mumble, chuckling lightly as he hums.
“your foot wasn’t hurt, was it?” he softly inquires and you stand on your foot to test it out, thankfully it doesn’t hurt. you look up, shaking your head as you smile at him. he pulls away, nodding. “you should still put ice on, just to be sure.”
“mhm, thanks again.” you say as you turn around to see the stoplight turn red. you scoff, going back to the curb as the tall guy that saved your ass looks at you. you look at him and you shrug. “light turned red.”
he laughs lightly. “i can see that.” he says and you look at him, smiling lightly. “hi, i’m heeseung.”
you chuckle, shaking your head as you smile widely for the first time throughout the day. you look at his hand, putting your in his as you shake it lightly. “y/n.” you say and he smiles wider. you two talked about random things as you waited for the stoplight to turn green again, but what you didn’t notice was how many times it already turned green but you were too engrossed with the conversation you were having.
“watch your step, darling.”
he says as he holds your hand. and you can’t help, but look up at him and smile. heeseung grins, chuckling lightly, realizing those were his first words to you. years of relationship, he always looked at where you’re going, wanting you to be careful. and not once did he ever fail to look out for you.
even right now. you grab the bottom of your white gown, stepping up to the altar was heeseung stands right in front of you. “hi,” you say with a grin.
“hi.” heeseung smiles.
“shall we begin?” the priest standing in the middle of you two says and the two of you nod as he smiles at the both of you. once announced that the two of you are married, the priest saying heeseung may kiss you, him being extra, dips you back as you giggle through it, heeseung smiling widely. the ceremony finishes, heeseung steps off the altar first, holding his two hands for you.
“watch your step, love.” he says and you giggle, placing your hands in his as you step off the altar. heeseung gently lets go of your other hand as the two of you walk out of the chapel together, hands lightly swaying back and forth.
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