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this animal

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they won't tell you this in therapy but sometimes the best way to stop catastrophizing/anxiety is to interrupt your spiraling with "girl what the hell are you talking about"

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i'm genuinely having so much fun writing a jock protagonist. can't believe i never tried this before. all these years i've been limiting myself needlessly

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One way L can still win is if Light gets hanahaki post-yotsuba. Posthumous revenge.

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cloth fibers ranked by how much sense they make to me

wool. the most sensible and natural fiber. wool is hair from meaty, not very bright animals. I have hair, meat and did not excell in school, so I relate and understand this best

cotton. Cotton is made from plants, but don't be scared yet. these plants are basically small sheep for they are wooly and have hard seeds in them like how sheep are wooly and have hard bones inside them

silk. I was fairly terrorized as a child by caterpillars that made massive silk tents in mulberry trees. We came in into conflict because both of us liked to eat mulberries and climb mulberry trees and also because they liked falling out of the tree upon my person. this was distressing for me for various reasons primary amongst them was that I had been told by the wisdom of my peers that if one of them bit me I would die. anyway I believe that silk comes from caterpillars because I have seen it I have witnessed it I have lived it

linen. bizarre. have you watched videos of people turning flax into fibers? I have watched video after video of flax being transformed from plant to linen and none of it makes any sense. One moment, it's a plant and then if you comb it enough it becomes hair. utterly incomprehensibe witchcraft

PLASTIC? PLASTIC? PLAstic??????

spandex. incomprehensibe. uncontainable. might as well be string theory to me.

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a while ago I read this sci-fi short story from the 50s where a guy is kidnapped and interrogated by aliens using a very sophisticated lie detector, but he realizes that the lie detector works off technical truth, and with some careful phrasing and misdirection, he manages to make them believe that humans are a race of immortal, overpowered, omniscient telepathic beings. and it works.

my favorite part is when he tells them that humans are "capable of transportation without the aid of spaceships or any vehicles, just by using mental power to control physical matter". it's true, we can. it's called walking.

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I forgot the expression for "to decorate the (Christmas) tree" is armar el arbolito (de Navidad)

so my tired brain reads "arm the little tree" yes we'll give it a sword or something idk

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What happens to me and probably many artists

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Light Yagami is so unintentionally funny like yeah sure L was witty but that was intentional and will never top Light simultaneously taking himself super seriously and doing the most laughably ironic things with zero self-insight 

Remember that time Light got so offended that Lind L. Tailor called him a murderer that he straight up murdered him on live tv?

And then accused Misa of tarnishing Kira’s name because she killed someone who disagreed with Kira on live tv?

Remember when Ryuk was like “then you’d be the only evil person left” and Light was like “nah bc I’m like, a really good student. If you get an A on your paper it actually stands for ‘Allowed to murder people just because you feel like it’ so I’m all good actually.”

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reminding myself that i do actually have the right to request that the university refer to me as "dr lastname" instead of "ms lastname" in their collaboration letter for the grant submission, and that doing so doesn't make me nitpicky or pretentious

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Finished a new piece. I think it speaks to my state of mind. Notice the fine details. :)

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they were playing running up the hill yesterday at the bar and I realized that when kate bush says she is "running up that building" she is probably using the stairs. and not running up the side of the building. like naruto

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My biggest tip for fanfic writers is this: if you get a character's mannerisms and speech pattern down, you can make them do pretty much whatever you want and it'll feel in character.

Logic: Characters, just like real people, are mallable. There is typically very little that's so truly, heinously out of character that you absolutely cannot make it work under any circumstance. In addition, most fans are also willing to accept characterization stretches if it makes the fic work. Yeah, we all know the villain and the hero wouldn't cuddle for warmth in canon. But if they did do that, how would they do it?

What counts is often not so much 'would the character do this?' and more 'if the character did do this, how would they do it?' If you get 'how' part right, your readers will probably be willing to buy the rest, because it will still feel like their favourite character. But if it doesn't feel like the character anymore, why are they even reading the fic?

Worry less about whether a character would do something, and more about how they'd sound while doing it.

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there are some things a character should not be able to tell us about themselves EVEN with a gun to their head. depending on the character that could even expand to include "most" things

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Stars The Same As Ever (Hallmark AU)

Ch. 5/32 — I'm Right Where You Left Me (Matches Burn After The Other) T+ | Sebastian/Farmer

“It’s self-care,” she explains to Caesar, who’s finally decided to come back into the house, now that the chickens are gone. He’s making little muffins on the quilt next to her. She strokes his fur, trying to focus on how soft it feels beneath her fingers. “It’s been a long day. I think cleaning the house can wait until tomorrow morning, don’t you?” Caesar gives a little mrow of agreement and settles in, curling against her side. She switches off the lamp on her nightstand and nestles down into bed, pulling the quilt up around her chin. She’s warm. She’s comfortable. She’s resolutely ignoring all of the work she has left to do, and the fact that she’s made an awful second first impression on Sebastian, because she’s resting, this is supposed to be her resting time, so she’s going to bottle up all of those things and— Her phone buzzes on top of her dresser. She groans and tugs the quilt up over her head, waiting for the ringing to stop. It does. She breathes a sigh of relief and snuggles back down into her bedding. There are about ten seconds of silence before her phone starts vibrating again. She swears, hauls herself out of bed, and trudges over to the phone. She swears again when she sees the name on the caller ID. She takes a deep, calming breath through her nose, trying to steady herself. The effect of this is diminished a little by the fact that the phone is still ringing. “Lewis,” she says as she picks up, “it’s ten-thirty at night.” “Yes, which is why I knew you’d be home! You never pick up during the day.”

(Read the rest on AO3!)

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Stars The Same As Ever (Hallmark AU)

Ch. 5/32 — I'm Right Where You Left Me (Matches Burn After The Other) T+ | Sebastian/Farmer

“It’s self-care,” she explains to Caesar, who’s finally decided to come back into the house, now that the chickens are gone. He’s making little muffins on the quilt next to her. She strokes his fur, trying to focus on how soft it feels beneath her fingers. “It’s been a long day. I think cleaning the house can wait until tomorrow morning, don’t you?” Caesar gives a little mrow of agreement and settles in, curling against her side. She switches off the lamp on her nightstand and nestles down into bed, pulling the quilt up around her chin. She’s warm. She’s comfortable. She’s resolutely ignoring all of the work she has left to do, and the fact that she’s made an awful second first impression on Sebastian, because she’s resting, this is supposed to be her resting time, so she’s going to bottle up all of those things and— Her phone buzzes on top of her dresser. She groans and tugs the quilt up over her head, waiting for the ringing to stop. It does. She breathes a sigh of relief and snuggles back down into her bedding. There are about ten seconds of silence before her phone starts vibrating again. She swears, hauls herself out of bed, and trudges over to the phone. She swears again when she sees the name on the caller ID. She takes a deep, calming breath through her nose, trying to steady herself. The effect of this is diminished a little by the fact that the phone is still ringing. “Lewis,” she says as she picks up, “it’s ten-thirty at night.” “Yes, which is why I knew you’d be home! You never pick up during the day.”

(Read the rest on AO3!)

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Loathing, unadulterated loathing! for your face, your voice, your clothing!