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i love genres and themes and noticing patterns so much. reading a manhwa called never ending darling rn and just thought it was interesting to compare it to signalis. the two dont have much in common except for the fact that both protagonists are clones stuck in a never-ending loop of being brought back to life and death. while elster has her goal of saving her lover due to a promise they made, ha-im on the other hand is trying to stop her abusive boyfriend from cloning and killing her over and over. both their partners are the ones who keep the protagonist alive against their own will whether its out of love or otherwise. in signalis it's a

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my longing and abnormal obsessiom to become normal is getting really irrational and feels so distressing to me, and it doesn't even make any sense. it's so strange because i can do functional tasks but then still be so achingly lacking in any social aspect. i mean what even is normal anyway, everyone is unique and looking deeper into it there is no "true normalcy" and yet i want it so bad, i want to be just like everyone else, i want to talk to people easily and not overthink about anything and not be such a visible outcast and not have to feel like working and living alone ina hole would be so much better than going outside because i know its not. my symptoms literally only get worse and exacerbated when i interact with people i'm unfamiliar with and its driving me crazy

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had to wait and emotionally prepare myself before reading this chapter because i knew i would cry and i did. didn't expect myself to see myself in eunyung and his circumstances but yeah.

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i just find it funny that for how poor lumen's self-esteem is, he doesn't hesitate to tell the doctor that he's famous for his PT skills--

--hence the frequent offers for a massage at any given time. its pretty cute imo

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i was literally on the verge of tears the whole time

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okay wow i mustve used up all my luck for this banner cuz i got 3x 5 stars on my 100th pull, including rei lol also i have 6 copies of nagisa so hes very strong if i want to use him? but yeahhhh i had 95k dias saved and now im down to 60k and im just glad i didnt have to spark rei phew, all my hard work of saving up in the past 8 events since i started really pulled off

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oh i forgot to talk about it but the latest no home chapter was really good, the author really did a great job of hinting at the uncle's "sinister" and "suspicious" nature that i grew increasingly worried for haejoon but then when it turns out that that wasnt the case at all and that he was actually struggling like haejoon (and cares about him too), i felt so guilty for agreeing with eunyung about thinking the worst about him. its so well done and it was really easy to make him a shitty guy but the author really went "actually nah hes doing his best too, he just isnt good at showing it or talking about it. but isn't everyone?" and i really appreciate the positive meaning that has on the story.

especially to eunyung, who's so used to people being shitty or seeing people's dark sides that he got genuinely so caught off guard when he was proven wrong by haejoon's uncle. he needs to know that there are still and always will be people that are good in this world. i hope he continues to keep being proven wrong and has the opportunity to meet kinder people, as well as haejoon, too

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guess who came home while trying to pull for natsume

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aight got natsume in 90 pulls, but got like 5 copies of hiyori along the way somehow LOL very happy as i didnt have to use all funds except all my scout tickets but yeah 😊

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if i wasnt abhorently shy and if tumblr polls were a thing id prob use it frequently asking what would be a normal and friendly question to ask my coworkers

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kinda wild how i realized i just watched on youtube 3 different incidents of a composer being miscredited or not credited at all

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first 10 pull and got 2 copies of natsume, love uuuu, thank u for not making me waste more of my resources ahhh

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also wait what rhe fuck i just noticed eunyung still has like haejoon's silhouette teardrops design etched a little into his own red silhouette like in the thanksgiving arc?? is this actually permanent now? like as a fOrm of symbolism as to how haejoon is influencing eunyung? but is this in a good way or a bad way? and why doesn't haejoon have any of eunyung's red silhouette? is it only gone for now or will it come back and affect haejoon again when these two start fighting (hopefully not) again?

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as soon as i saw the new chapter titled "memorial and uncle" i knew it was going to be haejoon centered. i was really happy to see the three of them hanging out again actually but i feel like i have to brace myself again for some intense shit to go down, especially if the arc is going to focus on haejoon.. poor guy needs a break

anyways i thought it was cute that haejoon and juwan ended up buying the things eunyung suggested (juwan getting both umbrellas bcuz eunyung said he has a tendency to lose things LOL) and i legit thought for a sec that they were gonna buy the opposite of what eunyung suggested and that'd be some weird bad vibes foreshadowing(?) but thankfully not. i thought the beginning scene with them shopping and eating out was nice but it makes me wonder if theres a deeper meaning or if its setting up for something related to the next arc coming up.. regardless, haejoon was right, it was nice seeing everyone hanging out regularly and having fun but i worry that he's just repressing himself more by not wanting to bring up his circumstances to his friends

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Thanksgiving and Sports Festival title cards: part 2

My favorite so far 😭