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boldaslxve.

“…you didn’t fight back?” reed caught on to what val had said almost immediately and he pulled him even closer than he thought was possible, while still being gentle since he didn’t know the extent of his injuries. WHY would val do something like that? what would possess him to– not fight back? what would possess him to allow something like this? “why? why didn’t you protect yourself?”

james could feel his blood go cold at the sentence. so… the conversation with the group chat had REALLY made val hate himself, huh? undeservedly, of course, because every single one of them had said regrettable things, especially recently. “your kid still needs you around. you should have fought back.” he hissed before grabbing him gently by the elbow and leading him back toward the rooms. “which one is yours?”

reed followed silently, his head still reeling from the previous information. “what– what happened? tell me what happened.” he demanded. “and tell me… who was it?”

“ the timing .. it was just the timing , reed . i had hurt uriah and santi and .. i was just being horrible and the next thing i know that happens .. it just kind of seemed like it was meant to happen and that i deserved it , so i didn’t fight back , ” he looked sad , he was relieved to have these two with him here to be sure he was going to be okay as he decided to keep acting as if his feelings weren’t that significant . maybe they weren’t , after all .

it wasn’t okay though . he’d allowed people to beat him up because he felt shitty about himself .. even though he knew he should’ve defended himself . val had been he trained in self defense and yet he had allowed this to happen to himself and now he was scared people were going to hate him for it . what if things ended worse ? what if .. he didn’t want to think about it so much . “ that one , ” he mumbled , pointing to the still open door .

he sort of hated himself for how much he was relaying on james and reed right now , but he felt unstable and if they weren’t keeping him up right now .. he’d probably be laying on the floor . “ just ., some guys - i don’t know them , but they hated me for some reason and called me names as i was on the ground and they just - they took my phone and wallet too - ” he was tired and he felt himelf grab onto his boyfriend and friend a bit tighter now the adrenaline was beginning to wear out and he was so close to crying . “ - i didn’t do anything to them .. ”

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boldaslxve​.

the receptionist was on his feet, trying to calm reed when val came around the corner. his mouth dropped open and he looked as if he might speak when reed raced over.

“you’ve got to be fu–” james felt reed’s hand slip out of his own and immediately moved to grab him. “valentin, GO. lay down.”

it only took reed a moment to see his boyfriend sway before he reached forward to grab him. “baby, you’re not okay.” still, he pulled him close to his chest and kissed his head. “i’m so sorry that happened to you. i’m so sorry i didn’t– i didn’t notice. arthur likes to keep secrets.” he growled, his growing bitterness evident to anyone even partially listening. this NEVER would have happened if he’d been with him. maybe it was arrogance, but reed would have ENDED whoever tried. “do you– remember what happened?”

james moved closer, resting his hand on val’s back. if you can’t beat ‘em, make sure they don’t hurt themselves further… “at least… roman wasn’t with you.” he said. as soon as he saw the color drain from reed’s face, he knew that was the wrong thing to say.

reed hadn’t even thought of that. what if– like many nights in the past– roman had insisted on being stuck to val’s side? what if he hadn’t been with his beloved elena and instead went to walk with his father? would they have still mugged… a man with a child? a child like roman?

he shuddered.

why was reed here ? shouldn’t he be in rehab ? and now he had to seem him like this .. val was already upset and worn out , but now he was really trying to fight his tears back .

val felt dizzy and as if he could fall any moment , so he fully let his boyfriend and james support him . all he knew was that if he heard reed yell , he’d be there in a heartbeat .

“ don’t say sorry .. you shouldn’t be here , babe .. you - why are you .. ” it was hard to speak full sentences , but he knew what he was trying to say . “ you shouldn’t be here right now - ” it wasn’t that he hadn’t missed him . of course val any opportunity he got to visit reed , but it was different . still , it didn’t matter because he was taking care of himself - but now he was here . away from rehab , away from the people specialized in helping him so what happened in the past wouldn’t happen again . when reed asked what happened , he just sighed .

whether he was going to answer his question didn’t matter , because james’ sentence followed right before he could say something and he just frowned at him . “ if roman was there i would have fought back , ” he answered . confirming that he hadn’t just now .

it just was the timing . he was sure that there was some reason behind it .. he was alone and people had taken advantage of him , he’d pleaded and shamefully cried at them to leave him alone but they just didn’t care and .. he didn’t fight back . he’d hurt the people he cared about , it was karma and he had it coming after everything - so he just let it happen .

val knew he should be grateful people had called 911 on time .

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boldaslxve​.​

reed’s shoes SQUEAKED as he ran across the floor, sweat dripping down his brow.​ james was very clearly trying his hardest to keep up with the other man, but he was moving too quickly. “i need– to see– my boyfriend. valentin simmons. he’s in here, a– a mugging. please.” his eyes were WILD as he glanced around the room. his heart was racing and he couldn’t help but reach out to james’ hand when he slid in beside him. james offered him a comforting squeeze and he sighed. “PLEASE,” he begged the nurse. “i need to see him. or– or i’ll just– VAL!” james was desperately trying to shush him, but he didn’t care, he just SCREAMED for his boyfriend in the middle of the waiting area. “VAL!”

why had he been acting so horrible lately ? to uriah , to santi - to basically everyone ? val hated how sometimes he couldn’t understand the way he acted , he hated the way he lashed out at people he cared so much about sometimes .. so when he had seriously hurt uri he’d needed to see art , he needed a big brother figure to tell him it was all okay . he’d brought roman along , but when emotions had gotten the best of him he’d decided to take a walk .

it almost seemed like karma when some muggers beat him to the ground .. he remembered how he begged them to stop and leave him alone , he remembered how they called him slurs and he remember how he cried as he heard sirens right before he passed out . he remembered all of it and yet everything felt so , so foggy . 

when he woke up in hospital he had asked for his phone right away , but they told him that it had been stolen - just as his wallet . his arm was in a cast and there was a scrape on his forehead so he’d taken a moment for himself . it almost felt like his heart dropped when he heard reed’s voice not far from his room , so of course his first reaction was to sneak out of the room without the doctors there and went to find reed . he was almost relieved when he saw that james was with him .. even though james might tell him he should be resting .

“ reed ?! ” he asked , only now he realized his dizziness . “ i’m h- here , i’m fine , see ? ”

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elisemuses​.

“I don’t know but they said they would be here in about-” “Jane!” The blonde was cut off by someone shouting, Jane immediately knew who it was by her Brooklyn accent. Her agent, Deborah, strutted into the lobby with another agent not far behind. “My dear, you look stunning!” She complimented, which made Jane blush. “Thank you. You said you wanted to talk.” Jane inquired, to which the older woman nodded. “Follow us, if you please.” Deborah stated and Jane eyes Hayes, before tilting her head towards where Deborah walked to so he and his agent would follow. Deborah lead the other three to an office, with a table in the middle of the room. Jane was instructed to sit on one side, and Deborah was seated opposite side of the table. “Now, the reason this little meeting is being called is because we need to set some ground rules before this stunt of ours takes off.”

the loud voice interrupting jane’s sentence made him jump a bit , spinning around to the woman he’d have to listen to the coming time . it was still a weird concept to him .. making himself look better by pretending to date a woman who he barely knew , he could also not understand why the other was fine with pulling this stunt with him . he bet she could do anything she wanted , so why spend her time with him ? all he did was mumble a little “ hi , ” , before he followed them to an office . all of this felt so .. stupid and official . why was he doing this again ? to fix his reputation .. right . “ ground rules ? how many do i have to stick to and for how long ? ” he didn’t like the feeling of people being in control of him , he didn’t appreciate it and it made him want to roll his eyes . “ that doesn’t matter . what are the rules ? we have to wear matching outfits on red carpets ? ” he joked , he hoped that wasn’t it .

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lilacwiine.

oliver didn’t quite know what to do with himself. he listened as atlas spoke but a lot of what the other man was saying went in one ear and out of the other. after a silence finally fell, he simply nodded. “right. it’s fine. i think i’m just going to need some time to…” recover? “get my head around it.” he felt like it wasn’t too strange a thing to require. everything he’d hoped for had been turned on it’s head and that was going to take some time to adjust to. right now he didn’t even know how to really even look at atlas — if their relationship was going to remain then he’d have to figure that out. right now things were just a little more on the raw side. “i think i need to go for like… a walk or something.”

the thought of losing his boyfriend because of this scared him , but he knew that the chance of that happening was big . atlas had just let down someone he loved and he couldn’t just change his answer , both because it would look insincere and even if it wouldn’t .. it wasn’t going to feel right to him . “ i understand , ” it was hard for him to find the right words right now .. this situation sucked and it could break them apart and that scared him . plus , if it were to go down like that .. it’d be his fault . oliver had wanted to marry him and atlas would have been responsible of breaking his heart . “ yeah , you know - i can pack some bags , crash at my parents their place for a few days .. if you need some space ?  ” he suggested .

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darkenedxsights​.

Zara nuzzled softly into the crook of Kat’s neck, a soft sigh as she felt the hug returned, just enjoying this peace with the other for a moment before she pulled back. “Of course I’m still up, I wanted to see you.” She uttered softly, her work day had also been tiresome, and though she had two part time jobs, the workload wasn’t as near as big as Kat’s. She could easily catch up on sleep in no time at all, but missing out of time that they could share together wouldn’t easily be caught up on, so she was making the most of it. “How are you doing baby?”

“ you could’ve told me to wake you up if you wanted to see me baby , you didn’t have to stay up so late for me , ” and at the same time she was happy she did . because even if zara had texted her to wake her up when she got home , kat wasn’t sure if she would have been able to . she knew her girlfriend would’ve looked to peaceful and she’d let her sleep . “ hmm .. work was stressful and lasted way too long , but seeing you just made my day a whole lot better , ” she was serious , but there was a teasing tone in her voice as she spoke to zara . “ how was your day ? more exciting than mine , i hope , ” she was just happy to catch up .

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rosesdieinaweek​.

the smile coming from his date caused archie’s grin to widen. it was almost infectious and at least it somewhat alleviated his nerves. he just had to try not to be cool, if he was trying to be cool he knew that he would come across as a dick and when it came to archie it was a fine line between impressing someone and putting on an act. putting on an act being the thing that he never wanted to have to do again. a small laugh at the question. “i believe the exact words they called me were pathetically single and that guy who’s going to die alone with thirty cats. i uh– i’ve known them for a while and they’ve never seen me date so they thought they’d take it into their own hands.” the way atlas had worded it had him asking, “i’m guessing yours thought you should jump head first into this again?”

dating had been a subject for atlas he hadn’t been really open to talk about lately . it wasn’t that he wanted to be alone forever , it was just that he knew how love could screw you up completely and was not looking to go through that again . so , he knew he’d take it slow - he knew that he’d learn and not get attached so quick , so then why was this guy he only just met bringing such a smile to his face ? he felt like an idiot . fortunately he was able to play off most of his feelings as if they were meaningless and he just smiled at archie . now he was here , they better make the best out of it . “ that seems a bit harsh .. with thirty cats and not even one dog ? they really expect the worst from you , ” he joked , but hoped to figure out if the other was also a dog person or not . “ yeah , i guess the fact that i was the only single one in our friendship group didn’t really sit right with them .. and since it was clear i wasn’t going to start to put any effort into finding someone , they took matters in their own hands and .. well , now we’re here , ” he knew his friends meant well , but he was still nervous .

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thedaregeneration​.

oh. it seemed ziggy had encountered a PETTY bitch. just like himself. GOOD. he was INTO IT. he flashed a smirk at the other man and shrugged. “i guess i kinda won the jackpot, yeah.” and he kept it at that as he continued SHOVELING food into his mouth. “er– you don’t gotta talk to me, if you don’t want. i get it. just thought i’d FEED someone.”

for a moment, he fell silent, but for cryin’ out loud, he was ZIGGY PAYNE. silence wasn’t his strong suit. “…so rich old women like to pick me up and buy me things… ‘til they realize i ain’t SELLIN’ nothin’.”

fraser cocked an eyebrow at the other guy smirking and right away he started to doubt if ‘ sure ’ was really the answer he should have gone with . still , it was free food ( hopefully ) without any effort for him and he secretly enjoyed it . his cane rested against the table , nodding at how the other stated silence would be fine with him and he grabbed a menu card , reading through all what they had . even now , he still struggled with reading sometimes .

then the silence got broken again . it hadn’t even been that long . still , the other didn’t mean any harm so he just looked at him . “ and they paid you in the form of dinner ? ” he asked , giving him a look . “ so that’s what old ladies are up to . can’t even trust my own grandma these days , ” he joked . fraser didn’t actually give a single fuck about any part of his family .

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xsweetxhallelujah​.

Q was trying not to frown, but was rather quickly losing the battle over his expression. He was also starting to lose the battle against not fidgeting. So the mention of a second date had him running his fingers through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck. He looked away from Val as he actually frowned. “Oh.” He cleared his throat before he made himself look back at the man. “That’s… ah… great?” Q really wanted to be happy for Val, he really did, but he also couldn’t deny how much he didn’t like hearing about him having fun with someone else. And he definitely didn’t like the idea of Val going out with the guy again.

It had been a long time since Q had been out on a date with anyone himself. He just never found anyone that he was into like that. And he knew that he should be happy that Val had found someone he ‘clicked’ with. “I ah…” Words. Words should definitely be a thing. He had to clear his throat again before he could continue. “You know I just want you to be happy, right?” His frown grew deeper as he pushed his hands into his pockets. “So… If this guy does it for you then…” He shrugged a shoulder as he trailed off, hating how awkward and uncomfortable he felt.

why did q look so ... uneasy ? val had known the other man long enough to notice some of the signs when his body language was off and it got him to think . was it annoying the other to hear val talk about his date ? or was it actually bothering him a little bit ? part of val really hoped for the latter option .. did that make him a bad person ? he wasn’t sure , but he couldn’t help how he felt . just because the date had gone alright didn’t mean that he was really ready to try and find someone to fall in love with who wasn’t q . maybe he shouldn’t be so stuck on someone who’d never feel the way val did , maybe val continuing to get his own feelings hurt was a bad idea - but maybe it’d be worth it . “ maybe i can introduce him to you sometime if my future dates dates go just as well - i’d like that . ”

he wouldn’t like that , but he had to say some shit to test if there’d be any reactions coming from the other . then he realized what he was trying to pull , that he was only trying to use his date to get some kind of response from q and he felt bad about it . it wasn’t fair , he realized that , so he told himself to be a lesser fool . “ maybe it wasn’t as perfect as i’m acting it was , ” he admitted , an awkward smile on his face .. why did this feel so tense ? why couldn’t he just say that he didn’t want to go on another date with this lad , but he wanted to go on a date with quenton ? “ - but sometimes you have to settle if you can’t get what you want most . ” he was trying to hint with those words , and wasn’t sure if he hoped q caught onto it or not .

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rosesdieinaweek​.

Archie knew that a first date shouldn’t make him so nervous but his whole life his mind had run a mile a minute. He’d always needed to think about who he was getting involved with and what could happen to them and with them and sometimes it was hard, he forgot that he was allowed to have fun with people. Even now ten years into what he considered a normal life he was hesitant to let people in. Hell, it had taken five years before he’d gone back to using his natural accent. At least it didn’t give away a lot about where he was actually from, able to tell people he’d lived in England for a few years. That wasn’t a lie. But now he had to figure out what to do and say and if things worked out here the last thing he wanted was to start a relationship off with a lie. All thoughts that were so far ahead and he was forgetting that it was just a first blind date. “I– yes, I’m Archie. It’s nice to meet you.” Gesturing to the seat in front of him, “We should- let’s sit.”

it was only when the man spoke again that atlas recognized the british accent . it was easy to tell it was a british one and he would be lying if he were to say that it wasn’t putting a smile on his face . “ it’s nice to meet you , ” he answered , putting some extra emphasis on the last word in that sentence . so far he felt like archie and him could get along if he were to try his best , because not only did he feel like he could listen to the other man talk for an hour , he also happened to find the opposite man rather attractive . still , these thoughts made him want to kick himself . for someone who wasn’t the most interested to already get back into the seriously dating life , he felt like he was impressed with the guy sitting in front of him way too fast . so he tried to shove the feelings away , just wanting to try to make a cool impression and not accidentally try to bring out the other man his cocky side .. if he were to actually have one , of course . “ so .. did your friends also think it was time for you to get back into dating , or did you ask them to find you a match ? ” he inquired playfully .

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cultofs3x​.

Billy hated how he let out a breath of relief when the other said that he couldn’t leave, and how a small smile managed to find it’s way onto his lips. Billy hated how those few simple words had his once cold and frozen heart practically leaping out of his chest. Hated that he was happy that his friend missed out on such a great opportunity…Because at least now they can still be together. 

“Honestly? I hated everyword I said when we were saying goodbye. Wanted to beg you to stay with me. Say that I could support both of us ten times over.” Billy admitted with a sheepish grin as he looked at the other man as he stared down at the ground. “Thought the closest I’d get to talking to you again was through some shitty skype or zoom call.” 

a slight frown found way to his face when he heard billy sigh , the audible relief enough to quickly bring relief to himself as well . part of him had been scared to be called out , part of him was scared billy would grab his car keys and bring him back to the airport to wait for the next plane to head towards london , but he didn’t . he didn’t and that was a massive relief to him , because he wanted to stay here .. and he wanted to find a similiar function here .

when billy spoke he made eye contact , giving him a soft smile . “ the goodbye didn’t feel okay to me , billy . i couldn’t just go , could i ? i would probably regret that for the rest of my life , ” he could just picture himself there in london , lost and feeling .. well , alone . kam didn’t have anything against time for himself , but alone was different than being lonely and he didn’t want to be lonely . “ i’m just glad i changed my mind before i boarded the plane . ”

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darkenedxsights​.

Tessa had a point, Adley had never set herself limits when it came to being reckless, she didn’t think about the outcome of situations, how they could affect her. This had been the worst outcome she’d had though, and it could have been a lot worse if it had been a different time of day, or there had been more people to attack her. Seeing Tessa’s face when she’d first seen Adley’s injuries still hadn’t left her mind, it twisted her stomach into knots. “The cops are useless for stuff like this,” She started in protest, but as her eyes fixed on the other for the first time, she shut herself up, before nodding. “But I’ll do that, and I’ll try to be more careful from now on.”

she hated that she had to disagree with the other . although the right response would surely have been to call the cops , most of the time they weren’t exactly as helpful as they should be to their citizens . so she tried to think it through again , trying to find an alternative so that she would never have to see the other like this again . because genuinely , it broke her heart to see what the person she’d fought had done to her . “ then next time just .. text me or something , i’ve got a fast brain and i’ll try to come up with a way for you to help them which won’t result in you being ... well , you know , ” she gestured to the other’s appearance . she didn’t want to come across rude , but adley sure as hell didn’t look great right now . 

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callmecatman​.

Jen might have laughed if she heard Alanis call her classy.  She had been through a lot and done a lot of things that she should regret, even though she didn’t really.  It would be easy to call her damaged and scarred by emotional wounds that were often self inflicted.  Yet Alanis didn’t look at her that was and it was Earth shattering in the best possible way, like she was suddenly in a life that she thought could have only ever been a dream and it made her feel complete for the first time in her life.  “I… you don’t have to do that.  I don’t deserve you,” she said with a shake of her head like it was the only thing that stopped her from crying.  Once the necklace was on, she stood up to wrap her arms behind the other’s neck to hold her close.  “But I need you.  I think I’d fall to pieces that could never come back together if I ever lost you,” she said before stealing a deep kiss full of love and desire.

there was never a moment where she wouldn’t try to see the best in people . it was something she considered to be a good quality about her personality , but at the same time she sometimes doubted if it really was . she always liked to expect the best from people , all people , even when they were horrible . worst thing was , she’d try to make them feel like they were worth the world without her even knowing about all the tiny details of a person . that didn’t mean she ever regret it though . sometimes people couldn’t help themselves as they did bad things , sometimes they even realized it was bad and they just needed help .. allie knew that maybe she was too kind for her own good , but she wasn’t planning on changing that . not anytime soon and most likely , not ever . “ you do deserve me , jen . all of me . i’ll keep trying to bring this smile back to your face daily , because it suits you beautifully , ” she felt all warm in fuzzy inside just by looking at her . for a long moment she kissed her back , eyes closed and arms wrapping around her girlfriend’s waste , but then she gently pulled back just a little bit . “ you are not going to lose me , i’m not going anywhere . ”

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adsagsona.

Bran opened his mouth to speak but no sound came out. He was completley taken aback not only by Kameron showing up again on his doorstep just a few hours after he would be leaving, but also because of his words. Was Bran a reason why he would want to stay here? “Kameron…” He began before words failed him again and he just sighed and wrapped his arms around his best friend.

“Wasn’t that your dream? What you always wanted?” He asked softly as he pulled back a little to look the other man in the eyes. Cupping Kam’s cheek he caressed over the others warm skin. “You can’t put your happiness on another person, ok? You need to find that for yourself.” That being said however, Bran looked down towards his own work boots.

“I was already missing you, you know. Gods, I wanted you to take that job, do what you wanted. But honestly, if I could I would have held you in my arms until the plane left.” He murmured.

was it his dream ? sure , it had been in his head for a very long time .. following his dreams and not focusing on his own privacy life , living in london where he would have his dream job but not where he’d likely ever feel home . maybe he’d been too enthusiastic when his interview through zoom went so well , maybe he should have thought about it more before he put his house for sale and quit his job - but he didn’t , not until right now .

kameron didn’t regret a single thing when he felt bran’s arms around him . there was no other place he’d rather be .. how had he been foolish enough to think that spinning his life around like that would make him happy ? “ i’m happy here , bran . i would’ve moved there only for my job , i’d have no social life there . no friends , no family , no .. you , ” he took a shaky breath . “ and i’m not sure if i can build a whole life up for myself again from scratch . ”

his eyes shut for a while as he refused to let go of the other man , he wasn’t even sure where to go from here .. he had no place to sleep and he would have to find a new job but , deep inside he knew that it was all going to be worth it . “ i’m just glad that i’m here right now except from sitting in an airplane awaiting bad jetlag , ” he tried to joke , but he was overcome by emotions right now . this wasn’t how he had ever expected this to go .

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elisemuses.

“Finley, I’m gonna kick your ass.” Andrea cursed at him. “You look tired and you have a fever.” She added further and getting up, before grabbing him by the arm. “The fever isn’t exactly asking you. Work can wait, you’re of no use if you can’t even concentrate.” The dark haired woman was having none of it. If there was one thing she hated it was when her loved ones disregard their health for things like work or projects. “I’ll call your work place and tell them that you’re sick, they can at least give you two days off.”

“ not sure whether that threat should scare me or give me different feelings , ” finley teased her , trying to pull the attention off of his far below average condition and just have a smooth shift to them joking around with each other .. unfortunately it didn’t look like that was going to happen . “ no , don’t do that , ” he never called in sick , simply because he never felt sick enough to do such a thing .. so him doing so today threw him off . badly . “ who’s to say that if i get enough sleep and drink enough water i won’t feel good enough to go to work tomorrrow ? ” maybe , just maybe , he was trying a bit too hard to stay optimistic right now .

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elisemuses.

“I never knew that someone would like being called an asshole. You learn something new everyday.” Jane retorted with a roll of her eyes, arms crossed over her chest. “Yes, we have to kiss. But don’t worry, I’ll go slow so you won’t get too overwhelmed.” She joked, before her phone buzzed in her pocket. Jane knew that they had to make it as believable as possible. “Looks like our agents want to talk.” Jane informed him, before she placed the phone back into her pocket.

“ sometimes , when people call you a word so many times , it’s better to just embrace it , ” he was a guy who’d always try to make the best out of shit situations , so he was going to do the same with this entire publicity stunt . besides , jane didn’t even seem that bad . she was nice enough and if he was just less stubbon , all of this would probably be a lot easier . “ ah yes please , take it easy on my gentle heart , ” he sarcastically mumbled back in response , tiny smirk finding place on his face , but it quickly got wiped off when he saw that their agent was trying to reach them . “ what do they want ? ” he asked . part of him figured they should try to get more attention , make more people interested in writing on them .

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27clubdropouts,

Damien was, by far, the best thing that ever happened to James. There was no one better, no one else for him. His life changed the day Damien came in– late– to pick up Elena. He wasn’t angry, especially when he realized the circumstance. If anything, he was worried for Damien because he knew how Arthur could get about his baby girl. If the other man knew Damien had left her at school?

It hadn’t seemed like anything happened, though, which he was grateful for. If anything, he’d enjoyed the chance to talk to Damien and get to know him. Elena was happy playing with her toys in the floor and James was more than happy to offer the other man a cup of coffee from the pot he absolutely NEEDED to have in his room. So they’d spent most of the afternoon just talking and it was the BEST hour of his life. He found himself wanting more conversations with Damien, so he was quick to get his number that day.

Now look at them.

Openly cuddling as if nothing else mattered. And right now? Nothing else DID matter…

“Making you happy is an honor and a privilege.” The response to how Damien deserved him came quick and easily. At the mention of food, James was quick to nod. “You know I never turn down a meal. Especially with my man and my sons.” He teased. He’d never admit that he wanted to be around more now that Arthur wasn’t. He’d never admit that knowing they’d been an item in the past made him ever so slightly uncomfortable. Because he trusted Damien and he knew at the end of the day, all those men were family. “Can I help you cook? I’m REALLY good at holding spoons.”

cooking for a house of hungry firefighters felt like cooking for an entire , bigger than average family . even though he had never considered himself to be the best cook , he’d taken his role as captain very serious and decided that he better make sure the team stay in shape no matter what .. so being who he was he’d purchased a few cooking books and had them brought to the station , piling them on top of each other .

it was both to make it easier for himself to decided what to cook , but at the same time he hoped that it was going to motivate the others to also start cooking dinner sometimes . if this were to become a task they’d switch out between the four and later five of them , cooking would feel more like fun than just a requirement . right now he was trying his best to cook some spaghetti and now with his italian boyfriend here .. well , he was scared to mess spaghetti up in front of one of the people he knew would be passionate about the dish . damien knew how to cook a good dish , but he also definitely knew how to fuck one up .

while the spaghetti was softly boiling he had another pan on fire with pieces of chicken and whatever vegetables he felt like would make a good sauce with it .

“ if you really think that then please never stop making me happy , there’s not a lot of people who can turn me into a smiling mess the way you do , ” with not some , he really meant that there wasn’t anyone at all who’d managed to do that ever since his late husband passed . “ so , see this ? i’m making spaghetti right now , so naturally when someone who isn’t italian makes a dish that is italian in front of someone who is italian , ” (he was definitely overusing the word ‘italian’ right now). “ -- i get quite nervous , ” he gestured to the food that was cooking , before his eyes met his boyfriend’s . “ so , i’m not saying i want you to take over , but at the same time , if you want to , that’s fine ! ” he was rambling . of course he was rambling , cooking in front of his boyfriend for the first time happened to be a little scary .