ofipodisms

[ofipodisms]

Okay! So I’m definitely going to be rewriting a good portion of Darcy and revamping this account because someone (Izzy) requested I come back. So I’m coming back!

[ofipodisms]

Okay, so I don’t really do this, but my friend - is on the verge of homelessness. Now I sent her some money, but she’s still a little bit short for a bond on an apartment, so if you could donate anything, that would be amazing.

She only needs another 100, which I know is a lot to ask.

But if you could help. That would be amazing. 

paypal.me/afeatherstone

[ofipodisms]

Okay, so I don’t really do this, but my friend - is on the verge of homelessness. Now I sent her some money, but she’s still a little bit short for a bond on an apartment, so if you could donate anything, that would be amazing.

She only needs another 100, which I know is a lot to ask.

But if you could help. That would be amazing. 

paypal.me/afeatherstone

[ofipodisms]

Okay, so I don’t really do this, but my friend - is on the verge of homelessness. Now I sent her some money, but she’s still a little bit short for a bond on an apartment, so if you could donate anything, that would be amazing.

She only needs another 100, which I know is a lot to ask.

But if you could help. That would be amazing. 

paypal.me/afeatherstone

[ofipodisms]

Today a guy came through and tried to pay for a 3 dollar drink with a 100 and I told him we don't accept 100 dollar bills and he was like "This is discrimination and I'm going to get you fired!!" because he does this a lot and I tell him no every time and like?? Sit your white ass down and drink yer bean water.

[ofipodisms]

“Oh yeah, I know they do. I just... I’ve been cooking since I was a kid so It sucks, you know?”

"What happened?!"

“I was baking and dropped the knife.” she explained sounding embarrassed as she wrapped the large bleeding wound along her leg.

“Don’t tell… anyone.”

[ofipodisms]

Bennet’s trusted Aerodactyl hovered very close to Darcy, flying above the group. The Gyarados that Darcy had helped train from a Magikarp instantly went for the stream, making a deeply terrifying noise of joy. Gyarados had always scared her just a little. Starmie and Seadra seemed to play together easily and instantly but the last pokemon, Slowbro, shuffled along and plopped at her side. “They’re my brothers.” she explained. “He’s had the Starmie since she was a Staru way back when I was like nine. His first pokemon, a Charizard, hasn’t really been seen in a few months. He has a few more in storage. I rotate them out as often as I can.”

“They are beautiful.” Xavin waved to the Pokemon, Ditto close behind, looking at the first and transforming into it happily. She let out her own then, an Eevee and a young Riolu. “I recall you saying you were not one to have all sorts of Pokemon.”

[ofipodisms]

[interdimensional-kickerofbutt] “why is it that i always find you in the middle of a tussle?”

“I don’t know. Why is it that I always end up in the middle of tussles?!” she snapped, panic filling her as she dodged a literal actual bullet. “Why is this my life?!”

[ofipodisms]

she’s the man sentence meme

feel free to adjust the pronouns and things to fit your muse!

“i mean, when we first started going out, you couldn’t kiss at all.”

“we wanna try out for the boys’ team.”

“you and your brother look scary alike from the back. i think it’s your total lack of curves.”

“does he have your number? 1-800-bitch?”

“sorry, i have a strict no ruffles policy.”

“inside every girl, there’s a boy. …that came out wrong but you know what i mean.”

“i can do this. i am a dude! i’m a hunky dude! i’m a badass hunky dude!”

“i’m brilliant. shhh!”

“i’m allergic to the sun.”

“is your sister hot?”

“girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours.”

“don’t let her get too close, she’ll recgonize you!”

“and when my eyes are closed, i see you for what you really are, which ugly!”

“because that would be my very first instinct, to feed the tarantula.”

“i think you’re the first guy at this school that hasn’t tried anything with me.”

“okay, that was creepy! you actually sounded like a girl just then!”

“hey, i’m working the kissing booth! come and see me?”

“you look like such a lady! it’s a miracle!”

“maybe you could come tonight to…keep an eye on me.”

“screw you guys! i hate high school!”

“_____, darling, remember, chew like you have a secret.”

“i’m gonna kiss him so passionately that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.”

“why is it that i always find you in the middle of a tussle?”

“heels are a male invention to make a women’s butt look smaller! and make it harder for them to run away.”

“have you ever tried to run away in high heels? not easy.”

“why are you wearing my uniform?”

“is it just me or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?”

“i know i should’ve told you who i was but i was afraid.”

[ofipodisms]

#important lessons with clary fray

[ofipodisms]

“Who hasn’t killed a few people.” Her brother joked, hands slipping into his pockets awkwardly. “To be fair, there’s very little that could make Darcy hate you once she’s grown attached.”

“Shut it, Ben.” Darcy snapped, brows furrowing. “We all have things we want to keep secret, right? Sometimes.... they’re too big to keep to yourself and sometimes they aren’t. I’ve never hid who I am but I don’t advertise it unless I really trust or like someone. It’s easier. For me.”

“Hey, I’m the last person to judge. I’m the freaky mutant bomb who actually murdered a couple of people,” She smiled bitterly, knowing she was not making a good impression by saying all that without an explanation in front of Darcy’s brother. “I mean,” She added for Ben’s benefit, “The correct term is technically manslaughter, but still.” 

“I always want people to know I’m gay up front, so they know what they’re getting into before I get attached,” She added, changing the subject abruptly. 

[ofipodisms]

“No, that’s true but that’s why I’m here to help avoid those... problems.”

📱

Send 📱 for a late night text from my muse || Accepting

{text: Radar} dude i am seriously craving curly fries right now holy fuck

[ofipodisms]

“No, just the leg. I’m honestly a huge dipshit and it shouldn’t have happened. It’s embarrassing is what it is.”

"What happened?!"

“I was baking and dropped the knife.” she explained sounding embarrassed as she wrapped the large bleeding wound along her leg.

“Don’t tell… anyone.”

[ofipodisms]

“Fantastic.” Darcy plopped down on the ground and slowly started to release each of her brothers pokemon from their balls. 

“Understandable.” Xavin conceded. “The department store, the bike shop, all kinds of things really. We’re here.” She gestured to the broad stream that intersected the land, perfect to relax for a short time before making the return trip to Goldenrod.

[ofipodisms]

Star Trek Beyond Series by Rockets are Red & Matt Taylor

Collectable posters produced in conjunction with g1988 and Paramount Pictures to be given away at opening weekend screenings in select 3D and standard theatres. More info HERE.

[ofipodisms]

My pathetic ass is sitting in the theater waiting to see Star Trek all by myself.

[ofipodisms]

Darcy: [screams]

Clint: Shut up! That vest is bullet-proof!

Darcy: Oh. [She gets shot in the arm.] OW!

Clint: But it is, y'know, a vest.