odiepulls

[odiepulls]

OMG this weekend has been a struggle.

I’m worried about finances!? I’m pretty good at budgeting and sticking with it, but this weekend I’ve been literally spiraling in my anxiety by refreshing my budget app over and over. Like that would change anything. My income isn’t where I want it to be, and I’m not coping with it this weekend at all. With that comes the urge to pull!

UGH!!! My head tingles!

BUT the weather has been nice for going on walks and reducing a little bit of that built up stress. Exercise isn’t a cure; it’s an aid.

ALSO I have resisted the urges at every turn up to now. A huge win! I need to update my planner log. I think this is day 22 for the year, but I’ve been slacking on tracking.

[odiepulls]

Today marks my TENTH TRICH-FREE DAY this year (Scalp only)!!

I do not track success streaks. Every day is an opportunity for a one-day streak. Anything longer than that leaves room for massive disappointment. (You can see January was going to be a massive disappointment!)

My current goal this year is to see how close I can get to 365 knowing that I’ll never make it all the way. My long-term goal is to be in a place where I don’t feel the need to cover my patchy scalp.

Every morning I highlight a bubble for the previous days success.

Every day I’ve pulled since starting has led me to focus on the bubble and not my hair. Even one strand results in a “I don’t get to highlight the bubble!! NOOO!!!” reaction and I immediately stop. The disappointment overrides whatever power the trich holds over my brain.

Did I gamify this process? Maybe. Will it work long-term? Who knows, but I’m going to celebrate this process for as long as it helps!

[odiepulls]

I’ve had trichotillomania for over 30 years. Focus areas are scalp, eyelashes, and shins.

It’s been a rollercoaster of misery to just being over it all to stopping to starting again.

Decided to blog about it as a way to track progress, setback, emotions, whatever.