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[nurfadhlina]

Dear love,

2020 wasn’t really a good year for me. But I always feels so lucky and blessed to have you in my life. Sayang, ingat lagi tak cafe this kita pergi? It was located under Ameera apartment if i wasn’t mistaken. Time ni I tak suka you and tak pernah falling in love with you but you always try to make me falling in love with you. This time kita keluar as classmate lagi no declaration between us hee.

When having our lunch here, first je I dah masam muka, merajuk. I am really sorry tho :/ during our early relationship phase we really fight a lot kan! Sayang, I tak tahu why I writing this on my blog. I think I just feel to. This year so many things happen in my life. My sickness, my anxiety, my mood goes up and down. You always there for me. I wanna thank you for your love and taking care good of me.

I just hope we can be together forever. Always forever. 

I love you sayang, arief danial ♥

nf

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13.10.20 ∣ 11.05 pm

Almost 7 months I currently in this state. No one really knows what happens to me. And me too. Rindunya nak jadi macam dulu. I doesn’t feel any pain. The only pain I ever had when I having fever, flu. Sometimes I feels tired and I keep praying I don’t want this kinda of pain. Everytime buka mata or bangun from sleep mesti rasa those pain. I bet you guys tak tahu how is it feels. And to be honest, I feel I want ended up my life all by myself because I couldn’t hold this pain anymore.

Few hours to PKPB 2.0, I miss sayang arief danial so much. I never thought last Friday was the last time we seeing each other. Last Thursday, we had a fight. Kita selalu gaduh but entah la last Thursday tu quite worst. This time tak tahu bila lagi boleh jumpa. I hope it wasn’t too long. Hari ni, kita tak cakap banyak maybe I ada buat salah. Selalunya macam tu ;( . But I tak tahu what my fault this time. 

Sayang, you ingat tak you promise me to bring me to hospital and help me to sihat balik. And you promise to take care of me. I hope you will fulfill this promises. I tak tahu I boleh tahan sampai bila but I always loved you. Everytime tengok diri sendiri, I tak tahu I sakit apa. My body become thin even makan banyak I still boleh rasa my own bones. If I tahu we tak jumpa each other, I spend more time with you because last time sibuk dengan urusan kerja I. Kita takde masa sangat with each other macam dulu. Tiap kali phone I bunyi, I always hope it’s from you. Tapi bukan. You tahu even my message delivered, you tak read. I selalu risau and I terjaga I selalu harap you reply text I and everytime I bangun, message you ada. But today it wasn’t happen.

Pou minta maaf if I ada buat salah or anything ya!

I miss the old me, happy me.

nf

[nurfadhlina]

Dear Love,

I hope you know how much I appreciate everything you do for me and all the time you give it to me. It means more than you can possibly imagine. I know I am not perfect and I know it might not seem like it but I will always try my hardest in everything I do for you, every surprise or date, I try hard to make special. You literally mean the world to me I love you beyond belief and you make me so happy every day.

Sayang, I just want you to know that I always love you today, tomorrow and forever. I am so grateful having you by my side all the time. I am sorry. Sorry for the days that I say and do things that make you feel like you aren’t doing enough. You are. You are my everything and I am just scared to lose you like I have lost all the other ones. Please stay with me forever, stay by my side.

I love you, arief danial ♥

Your hand fits in mine like it’s made just for me. And when your hand slipped into mine I knew that I was home.

nf

[nurfadhlina]

 Dear Love,

It has been more than one year we are knowing each other. It such a blessed to have you in my life and I am the one of luckiest girl to receive your love in this world. Getting knowing as classmate, being friend or bestfriend until I finally open my heart for you. To falling in love with you wasn’t really my intention at first but since we already know each other heart. I truely accept you to be a part of me. Thank you for not give up on me since day one.

Do I have a chance? Still remember this, love? You send this through my dm. And it’s taking me 10 minutes to replied them back, basically in long paragraph. I replied you, Please, don’t put any hope on me. Just act like we are friend. Somehow, by time we are getting closer to each other and I finally open my heart to you. I wasn’t regret anything since I falling for you every day ♥

Every relationship has its drama and baggage. None of them are perfect. I believe it happens to anyone include for both of us. We are fighting, quarelling a lot but at the end of the day we managed to get rid of it. Relationships gets stronger when both of us are willing to understand mistakes and forgive each other. 

After all this time, I might not fully understand you but I will always try dear. I loved you forever and ever after. Thank you for being a part of me. With you, I’m happy. I smile more and laugh more. You were always there when I needed you the most. Be with me all the time, be with me while I am sick. I really appreciate your company, I feel safe and loved. I wanna be with you forever.

I love you, Arief Danial ♥

Sometimes you fall in love with the most unexpected person at the most unexpected time.

nf

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Do you know why we sometimes don't get what we want? Because Allah loves us more than we love ourselves. We choose. But He chooses better.

Yasmin Mogahed

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coraxls

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@lisonseb

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If something is destined for you, never in a million years will it be for somebody else.

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“Pujian itu Ujian”. -Ummu Al Fath.

Do'a Abu Bakr Ash-shiddiq ketika dipuji;

“اللَّهُمَّ أَنْتَ أَعْلَمُ مِنِّى بِنَفْسِى وَأَنَا أَعْلَمُ بِنَفْسِى مِنْهُمْ اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْنِى خَيْرًا مِمَّا يَظُنُّوْنَ وَاغْفِرْ لِى مَا لاَ يَعْلَمُوْنَ وَلاَ تُؤَاخِذْنِى بِمَا يَقُوْلُوْنَ”

[ Ya Allah, Engkau lebih mengetahui keadaan diriku daripada diriku sendiri dan aku lebih mengetahui keadaan diriku daripada mereka yang memujiku. Ya Allah, jadikanlah diriku lebih baik dari yang mereka sangkakan, ampunilah aku terhadap apa yang mereka tidak ketahui dariku, dan janganlah menyiksaku dengan perkataan mereka. ] .

( Diriwayatkan oleh Al Baihaqi dalam Syu’abul Iman, 4/228, no.4876. Lihat Jaami’ul Ahadits, Jalaluddin As Suyuthi, 25/145, Asy Syamilah )

[nurfadhlina]

A flower needs time to bloom, so do you.

Happiness. What is happiness? How could you guys define happiness. Happiness has never been something I’m brave enough to talk about, especially with people and public. Does happiness really depends on money or wealth. Might be a great family or healthy. I have been asking about happiness and money with my colleagues and few of my roomates. But if happiness depends on wealth, why most of celebrity turns into suicide as they had a lot of money.

Some people said money can buy your happiness. As for me, money can really buy your happiness but temporary not permanent one. I am a lucky girl because I was raised in a well build family which means all things I wished I might have it but not all. Somehow my family wasn’t perfect and family is not something I wanna write about it since I’m not good dealing with my own feelings. I think everyone has their own problems and the most important part is how they hiding them so do me!

Let’s get back into happiness. I love taking photos and enjoying my little adventure as cafe hopper. Somehow, I found this my happiness but not permanent. My life goes up and down. That’s life I guess. Sometimes you need to deal with your siblings, collegues, the love ones and always wondering how things can fall apart eventho you have put a lot of effort into it. No one know about my sadness but Allah s.w.t. does. He knows everything lies in my heart. 

Whenever I feel down or upset, I tell my feelings to him and I feel relieved. One thing always I holding on until today is, If things doesn’t works out as you want, He knows what future holds for you. He knows what is good or bad for you. I am not perfect. No one does. I always questioned Him, why this? why me? why not others and I ended breaking my own heart.

I am gonna stop here till we meet again. The photo above was captured at one of my favourite spot and it’s called White Sand Cafe, Malaysia. Hoping I can drop by again. Ending my post with this quote from Mufti Ismail Menk.

At times, the hurt is so bad that the scars won’t ever fade away. Don’t despair. Confide in the Almighty. He’s All Compassionate.” 

- Mufti Ismail Menk

nf

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To All girls out there,

Apart from marrying a good spouse, Pray you marry into a good family too.

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If Allāh has written something for you - whether that is money, a job, a spouse, or anything else - no one in heavens can take it from you. Wallahi, you’ll just get it. Just rely upon Him.

Shaykh Mohammad Aslam

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THE QUEST FOR LOVE

Relationships has never been something I’m brave enough to write about, especially in public. The love between a man and a woman to me is very personal. Add religion into the equation and it just becomes very sacred to me. I do not wish to write too long, since I have classes tomorrow at 9am and it’s exactly 4.30am right now. However, I just need to let a few things off my chest because it has been bothering me for quite a while now. Also, due to my hectic schedule, this is the only time I have to write- though I swear to god I’m super sleepy right now

Before we jump into the topic, yes I am single. Have I ever been in a relationship? The answer is also yes. I know how it feels like to love and be loved the same way I know how it feels to be completely shattered. You see, different people have different definitions of love. I strongly believe that the people we fall in love with can sometimes reflect the kind of person we are. For instance, I really value religion, knowledge and ambition. Thus, if i were to marry someone, I look for someone with these exact characteristics. I want someone who has the same goals that I have. Someone who will not only fight with me to succeed in this world, but also in the hereafter. I need someone who works just as hard as I do, not someone who is always tired and only cares about sleep. No more time should be wasted with whiny and lazy ambitionless boys. If you’re serious to pursue a relationship, look for a man.

If there’s one thing a relationship has taught me, it is the importance of maturity when it comes to love. NEVER indulge in a relationship just because it’s a ‘nice’ feeling. If you want to be with someone might as well be with a person who will help bring the best out of you, spiritually, mentally and also emotionally. If the relationship you are in is leading you towards the haraam, leave. No buts. It is just the end of a toxic relationship, not the end of the world. 

By the way people, it is perfectly OKAY to be single. I have been single for over a year now, and wallahi I have never been this happy and I have been achieving so much. I always tell my friends that when you are single, you have 27 hours a day. What it essentially mean is that you’ll have more time for yourself. I know some people who can only seek comfort in the presence of their significant other. After one relationship ends they feel the need to jump into another. Chill people, chill. Take a breather. You don’t need another person to feel sufficient. Try to be comfortable and at peace with yourself with or without a relationship. You have the rest of your life to be spent with your significant other, so while you’re single, might as well really embrace/enjoy it.

Okay last point before I hit the sack, never settle. Ya Allah I can’t stress this enough. Being single is better than being with the wrong person. As they say, it’s better to wait long than marry wrong. If we dont know what we deserve, we will always settle for less. But to deserve more, we should first be more. Build your character before you choose to build a family. Study hard, learn new skills, take up a hobby, read more, travel. There’s so much that can be done when you’re single for your personal development. Take care of yourself. Your health, spirituality, intelligence, akhlak (good character) etc & inshaAllah you’ll get someone who’d do the same for you.

Jim Rohn once said, “The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me”.

I know this entry is all over the place, but I’m half awake so do forgive me. I hope you find this post helpful. As for me, call me philophobic but I am personally afraid to be in a relationship again. But when the time comes, I hope the guy I end up with will be proud with the lady I have become. If you happen to read this, whoever you may be, please know that not a day passes that I don’t make do’a for you, and for us. Wherever you are in this world, I hope you are also striving to be your best self. May Allah make it easy for us to find our way to each other. See you when I see you! Ending this cringey post with one of my favorite quotes from Rumi,

‘Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.’

Lots of love,

Aisyah

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Sakura Starbucks line 2019 🌸