“You have proven yourself far too many times yet people still doubted your capabilities.”
Chuuya was willing to sacrifice his life even though he wasn’t sure if Dazai would be able to save him from Corruption. Heck, Ango even told him that Dazai might have been dead already. He might have been already too late to save him. But which of the two of them need saving anyway?
“I hated you, but I never doubted you.”
Hate for the pain he had inflicted upon him when he left Chuuya feeling empty without his other half as if a part of his soul was ripped out of him. Despite that, he never doubted Dazai. He never doubted his ability, his intelligence and his love for the people he cares about and the city.
“Don’t die before me, asshole.”
Because Chuuya won’t be able to live with the thought that Dazai saved him from Corruption every damn time, but he can’t save him when the latter needs him.
what gets me about hua cheng is how all his life, he’s never been loved or taught love, yet to love is what he knows best to do. he knows how to give away freely the love he’d never received, the love the world had always cruelly kept from him and starved him of. i keep thinking about that young abused, abandoned, love-starved boy, offering flowers every day and protecting his god so fiercely,,,, loving xie lian for 800 years with such a soul-deep devotion, without his love ever wavering or weakening by even the slightest fraction,,, no one taught hua cheng how to do that. no one ever gave him love for 800 years, yet he still knew how to love with an all-consuming intensity, ferocity and depth
when did xia lian first noticed that he had feelings for hua cheng?
Hello Anon!
I would say it was when Hua Cheng was being roused by Mount Tonglu’s reopening and Xie Lian began kissing Hua Cheng (and uh possibly more) that he got his love epipheny:
Borrowing spiritual power is a nice excuse and all but at the end of the day, Xie Lian had to confront the truth that he actually really likes to kiss Hua Hua (´ ε ` )♡
And that it’s not true that he can’t get erect.
There were of course some other moments before where the realization that he loves Hua Cheng romantically was just hanging on the tip of his sharp mind.
Like for instance when he got jealous over Hua Cheng’s “special, noble, gracious” person.
Or in the aftermath of their first kiss, when Xie Lian knew that had anyone else done that to him, he would not be so forgiving...much less so flustered.
That he already thought like that indicates that he was already aware, on some level, that Hua Cheng occupied a special, unique position in his life. He just needed a bit more time before he fully recognized it as romantic love. Given his centuries-old trauma that crippled his self-esteem on top of his innocence/inexperience as someone who was on a cultivation path requiring abstinence it’s no wonder it took so long for him to recognize his own feelings :’)