notyetspeaking

[notyetspeaking]

#poem #bed #mentalhealth

[notyetspeaking]

I testify the need to write

It’s helping me to read

in context

defenceless

Not-yet-wet- but

hoping that if I type hard enough Ill find the roots back to my soul

n ink may sprout new shoots in me

Im trying not to be good

I’m trying not to write about you

boy built from cotswolds stone N a lazuli backbone

i write this not for you just for me

cuz i envisage myself speaking unreserved

not lost in prose but being in spoken word

I’m trying to relive my youth

remember how i grew up too soon

got fucked up from not feeling

took a look at the 5th dimension before really knowing how to speak them

it hurts but kills not to

so yeh this is sorta freeing

Yeh I get mad depressed

it’s sometimes hard to get up

get dressed

need a strong cup of coffee

but too burnt out lately

trying to back-pack in basics

n not get too wasted

taste it

red dress all thin

it didnt phase me

once groomed but forever in bloom

I’m not sad today

cuz sipping tea whilst telling stories invigorates

yeh I’m good

holding my hot mug n middle finger up

And imma build a new backbone

one of my own

one made of Welshgirl and mancuan stone

recast a core with words

n gentle peaks

so I can drink tea

breathe deep

love whole

and speak ..& speak

[notyetspeaking]

One about my mate

How can a girl with thick brown crocheted curls

big brown eyes

a smile so wide

delicately hold two nations hearts at the same time how has she got her soul instrument so right

She makes it intimate

in increments shes intricate

she lets it exist amongst us

So beautifully strung up

she’s infinite & How when the moon light bounces off her chest

it reflects back to earth

re energising both east & west How the first time I saw her

I was like oh wowwwwwwwwwwwwa

how she showed me she can navigate her style across hill-stricts

cast quick whit

Is fucking fit

And if she trips still lands

with heart strings so long

you can wrap yourself up in em to stay warm

How I’m Scared that that lines not mine

And if it’s imitated

I have channeled it in honour cuz it fits her here right

she’s innovative and facilitated it How a woman can be so soft n strong at the same time

how she’ll always belong

And if you ask her her opinion she won’t lie

she trusts herself

and that is what makes her so god dam divine