notoabuseanddv-blog

[notoabuseanddv-blog]

Another life ruined

I want to tell you another story. I want to tell you the story of Jonno and Richard. You already know what happened with John and Ivan. Jonno lyed to Ivan that he was single to sleep with him. He has done the same to Richard while he was with Ivan. Jonno told Rishard he split up with Ivan and they were just friends. John told that lie in march this years. But Jonno was still with Ivan and all he wanted was sex. So he made Rishard believe he wanted to date and be in a relationship with him. From day one John turned the chat about sex telling Richard he wanted to "suck him off" and "fuck him hard in the ass". The story with Jonno and Richard is very similar to what happened with Ivan. John contonues with his way of hiding the the truth just so he can get laid. Risch is now struggling with his feelings as he finds out he was fucked for nothing. A few days after Rich finds the truth Jonno stops talking to him. He splits with both Ivan and Rich and contonies. He moves to Dan. Dan seems sweet and trusting. He buys his story too. It is early July and Jonno is already sleeping with Dan and telling him how he was cheated on in his last relationship. John tells Dan he was left heart broken, harassed, attacked. He knows this is not true but he also knows he has done it before and it worked. Jonno knows it is ok to make up stories to have sex with people and get money from them. We need to stop Jonno as this is enough. Noone can be lied to and taken advantage of. John is going to keep do this until he can and until he gets away with it.

1 Ella Larkin 2 Ryan Blake 3 Laura Walsh 4 Lyndsey Cox 5 Sophie Davies 6 Billy Crosbee 7 Amy Wells 8 Clarissa Sh 9 Adam Butcher 10 Steve Gemmell 11 Ben Edwin 12 Jeevan Jeyaratnam 13 Wayne Cook 14 Laura Kheirkhah 15 Jai Patel 16 Nicola Street 17 Vicky Panteli Christodoulou 18 Sionice-Louise Phillips 19 Adam Rowland 20 Mary Kathleen Marshall 21 Christie Harkins 22 Spencer Steven 23 Chris de Lobel 24 Clare Murphy Forrest 25 Maiko Uesaki 26 Colin Brockbanks 27 Gemma Anne 28 Scarlett Rowe 29 Stijn van Rooij 30 Emma Grant 31 Mussy Denizer 32 Aimee Peach 33 Jessica Woolley 34 Martin Owen-brown 35 Laura Dunbar 36 Sarah Elizabeth Houghton 37 Adam Lowe 38 Holly LS 39 Josh Owen-Brown 40 Sharon Bickley 41 Gabrielle Ami 42 Gary Kinley 43 Chelsea Harris 44 Tom Hewitt 45 Jude Bellingham 46 Ruth Reading 47 Rich Sidwell 48 Mandy Hatton 49 Jennifer Jones 50 Charlotte Ballard 51 Alex Holland 52 Rachel Stevenson 53 Kenny Wrennie 54 Hannah Brecknell 55 Adam Jordan 56 Ricci Lawless 57 Lydia Lyth 58 Charlotte Williams 59 Ryan Robert James Jacquel 60 Joseph Atkinson 61 Jenny Balac 62 Craig Anderson 63 Sue Towner 64 Sarah Aitken 65 Alex Woodbridge 66 Sophie Katija Horvat Fowler 67 Kiri Harvey 68 Sam Murray 69 William Josephs 70 Charlotte Webb 71 Jack Chocholowicz 72 Gail Tracy Fortnum Albutt 73 Kelly Spiers 74 Nicola Lailey 75 Rachael Louise 76 Haley Walls 77 Harvey Thandi 78 Adrian Korzeniowski 79 Steven Grantham 80 Sue Wedgbury 81 Jordan Alexander 82 Pam Waters 83 Marie Glass 84 Donna-Marie Swanick 85 Steve Blake 86 Heidi Miles 87 Paula Knight 88 Lisa Jordan 89 Paul Shuck 90 Sonja Graham 91 Victoria Wilson-Lees 92 Heather Turner 93 Charli Hart 94 Jimmy Josephs 95 Ellie Angel-Clare 96 Leanne Golden 97 Olivia Woolley 98 Rosie Gooding 99 Michelle Leake 100 Chris Lamb 101 Lee White 102 Janet Clarke 103 Michelle Kinrade Was Rogers 104 Joanne Vanes 105 Amanda Mayall 106 Marie Fahy Pinfield 107 Zo Wey 108 Leon Payne 109 Allison Shaw 110 James Butler 111 Luke Brown 112 Nikki Smith 113 Adam Jordan 114 Rebecca Slater 115 Julia Reeve-Parker 116 Karen Allen 117 Rache Ellis 118 Linda Evans 119 Katie Lees 120 Karen Blake 121 Natalie Streeter 122 Paul Hindmarch 123 Aaron Thaitan Turner 124 Paul Woolls 125 Richard Long 126 Stacey Lamb 127 Gemma Walker 128 Lisa Webb 129 Aaron Shuttleworth 130 Alice Whitfield 131 Elizabeth Josephs 132 Kinga Kapitar 133 Sam Birkin 134 Pauline Nicholls 135 Polly Upton 136 Marianna Lacinova 137 Laura Phillips 138 Kerry Fereday 139 Andy Wardle 140 Tracy Coward 141 Emily Mcgowan 142 Denise Hall 143 Elaine Davis 144 Luke Spencer 145 Nick Fox 146 Chris Haynes 147 Dan Jeanes 148 Dan Palmer 149 Tyler Allen 150 Benji Btc 151 Nicholas Fuller 152 Stephanie Allen 153 Bex Thorne 154 Ben Adam 155 Ronald Cheape 156 Alex Woodbridge Tennis 157 Manuel Antonio Mata 158 Richard Wright 159 Dan Wainman 160 James Brookes 161 Phil Dwyer 162 Helen Warwood 163 Emma Fellows 164 Jess Thwaites 165 Jill Hobbs 166 Laurieanna Evans 167 Neil Lynch 168 Martin Park 169 Emily Hopkins 170 Elizabeth Kavanagh 171 Mike James 172 Quintin Lewarne 173 Sam Lang 174 Roxy Harleyisla 175 Richard James 176 Rachel Stockwin 177 Rachel Schieber 178 Matthew Bell 179 Kate Perkins 180 Marcus And-Lesley Pestell 181 Paul Raff Drake 182 Gustavo De Carvalho 183 Steven Bradley 184 Jane Gunn 185 Sarah Caldwell 186 Lee Williams 187 Alan Currie 188 Rebecca Blake 189 Darren Sellers 190 Will Fowler 191 Michael Lears 192 Sophie Allen-Dunbar 193 Liz Murray-White 194 Elijah Choo 195 John Browning 196 Gem Hudson Marriott 197 Sarah Jurkowski 198 Claire Stimson 199 Adam Rasul 200 Nini Sparkle 201 Claire Drake 202 Sarah Potter 203 Paul Wheeler 204 Marc Wallace 205 Rachel Sims 206 Magnus Birch 207 Ollie Upton 208 Dan Morris 209 Becky Holdstock 210 Louise Beacham 211 Katy Hall 212 David Nash 213 Jo Stokes 214 Ellen Hudson Was Marriott 215 Carol Roberts 216 Cássia Pascheto 217 Natalie Butler 218 Veronica Winter 219 Melissa Lammas 220 Natalie Dalton-Thomas 221 Neil Loy 222 Martine McWalter 223 Jo Jinks 224 Chris Potter 225 Martin Lowe 226 Lindsey Park 227 Scott Walls 228 Ben Abel 229 Daniel Allen 230 Leigh Shakespeare 231 Saralee Lawless 232 Arpana Mallady 233 Esther Beaver 234 Melissa-Jayne Lakin 235 Jo James 236 Stef Jane Ellie 237 Colin Montgomery 238 Charlotte Maycock 239 Matty Lloyd 240 Sam Hull-Abbotts 241 Dominic Skinner 242 Pam Browning 243 Elaine Mcp 244 Lisa Lears-was Crow 245 Rachel Lloyd 246 Sebastian LeFeuvre 247 Tracie Loach Dunn

[notoabuseanddv-blog]

The Issue

Trying to understand Jonno I had a quick look at his Facebook as well as what comes up in Google. I can see Jonno is already dating someone new, he has moved onto his new prey and has put behind everything he done to the people who cared for him in the past. We need to help John understand his condition is very serious before he hurts anyone else. He has openly shared on social media and fundraisers how he was a victim of physical and mental abuse as a child. In addition, the emotional instability, disturbed patterns of thinking or perception, his impulsive behaviour and intense but unstable relationships are also symptoms of borderline personality disorder he’s probably not aware of. Constance Scharff, an internationally recognized speaker and author on the topics of addiction recovery and mental health writes that we can see the aftermath of childhood trauma in the brains of children. The ones who were abused, physically, emotionally, sexually or neglected, have developed different adult brains than their counterparts who were not abused. Research shows that those who were abused were left vulnerable to a lifetime of mental illness and psychological problems due to the changes in brain structure. So Jonathan’s behaviour is not entirely his fault. It’s his parents’ failure to provide the love and care he needed as a child. This has left him scarred for life. Studies suggest child victims of abuse are more vulnerable to depression, anxiety, addiction and post-traumatic stress disorder later in life. And that is exactly what we see in John. He has shared publicly on Facebook, Twitter and charity pages that he suffers with generalised anxiety disorder. Looking at Facebook photos and Twitter posts we see a lot of evidence of alcohol misuse and substance addiction. We see him behaving in the same abusive and aggressive manner with which his parents treated him as a child. We also see why John is constantly afraid he is being judged. If he was abused in the past for things he has or hasn’t done he would try and avoid being blamed or punished. He is afraid of the repercussions of being caught out and will make every effort possible to get away with anything. Even when he was guilty of the wrongdoing. Being aware of Jonathan’s past and present we’re now able to better understand his behaviour. Mainly why he lives in a world built on lies. Why he messes with people. Cheats. Uses his relationships for his own benefit. He is mentally ill and is trying to find the security he needs by exploiting every opportunity.

[notoabuseanddv-blog]

The Story of Jonno and Ivan

Hi, I’m Annie. A blogger, writer and an activist protecting men’s mental health. Recently I heard a very saddening story and I would like to share it with you. The very sad and heart-breaking story of Ivan and Jonno. It all started with Jonathan Marriott aka @jonnosk on Twitter commenting under one of Ivan’s aka @justmeivanp photos. Later on Jonno followed Ivan on Instagram and continued commenting under his photos with compliments. In July 2018 Jonathan got into Ivan’s DMs with: “You look perfect buddy! How short? I’m 6ft2 and find it so hard to put muscle on” Reading the chats further John claims he doesn’t have gay friends. That he avoids gay people. That he never chats up anyone. That he’s oblivious if someone starts flirting with him. That he never makes the first step and never responds to flirting. But John’s actions we’ve seen so far show us exactly the opposite. Jonathan is not what he claims to be. He even suggests calling Ivan the next day. A very bold and brave move intended to get Ivan’s number. The chat continues. Both talk about gym routines. John says: “I need someone bto back rub me!” Ivan’s immediate reply is: “Ha, can’t you ask your boyfriend? Thought that’s the purpose of them” Jonno’s reply: “If he was still around I would” This is the beginning of a big lie, a deception, a story that will have detrimental effects on Ivan’s mental and physical health. Jonno maintains this deception for a very long time and his lies become more and more serious. John has turned the chat quickly about sex just hours after he started talking to Ivan. This reveals one of his main intentions – to have sex with Ivan. He quickly starts making references about his penis, how he’s getting aroused. Give it a few more hours and John is already sending photos of his erected penis, provoking a response. Things escalate when Jonathan reveals he’s going to masturbate. Again, behaviour completely controversial to the way he describes himself. "You are making me get into the shower in a frisky mood 😂🤦‍♂️... I will have to go out again and will have to hide my shorts... They have turned into a tent. I'm rock hard now 🙊🙊 I feel I may have to have some quiet time. Erm... I don't know how to word it politely. Make friends with my hand", says Jonathan while sending explicit images. John has invited Ivan on a date in August 2018. Jonathan keeps deceiving Ivan he’s single. That he has been single for a long time. At least since 2017. Jonathan makes up the story that his ex was a terrible person. Jonno claims he was mistreated, mentally abused and harmed in his last relationship. Jonno says his ex has already moved on. But he avoids getting into any detail about his previous relationship. His story is inconsistent and every time he’s asked about it, the answer is different. Through the first few months Jonathan remains very secretive. He doesn’t reveal much information about his personal life. The truth about Jonno’s secrecy and behaviour is far more revolting. After some time has passed I can see Ivan distancing himself a bit as he feels it’s all about sex. He explains that to Jonno and states he’s after a meaningful relationship. Not a hook up. Jonno quickly puts his game on, playing innocent and drags back Ivan into his cobweb of lies. Ivan has tried to cut ties with Jonno on few occasions. I can see Ivan expressing many concerns about how Jon’s story doesn’t add up. He states he feels insecure to continue as he believes Jonathan is not what he says he is. At a later stage Ivan also says he feels John is not as invested into that relationship. He doesn’t feel supported, he doesn’t feel like he can rely on John when he needs a shoulder to cry on. When Ivan is in hospital Jon says he’s too busy at work and doesn’t even bother to check up on him. When Ivan is sad or lonely, John quickly dismisses him and starts talking about his problems. Each of Ivan’s cries for help and support are turned down by Jonathan. Jonno makes it all about himself. He seeks pity and compassion. He plays a victim very well and sees everything as disparagement and disapproval. One night Jon gets drunk and tells part of the truth. He reveals he’s still living with his ex. He claims he is just living in his ex boyfriend’s house, that he is sleeping on the sofa. He cries about having to move back to his parents. He maintains the lie that he split up with his ex “ages ago”. He makes an excuse for not moving out with his sister staying at his parents' and him not having anywhere to go. Jonno claims he was regularly tortured psychologically by his ex. This is when I see how kind, caring and understanding Ivan is in this situation. He forgives and falls for all the lies. Even offers John to come over and stay at his if he needs a place to escape the supposed torture.    But here is the truth. A year later Jonathan’s ex tells us his side of the story - they split up in October 2018. Jonno’s ex depicts him as “immature”, to “never take any blame”. Jonno’s ex says “I haven’t been in a very good place for some time”. So now we know the full story: Jonno started talking to Ivan in July 2018. He started dating Ivan in August 2018. He lied about who he really is and that he’s still single. Jonathan was cheating on his ex with Ivan. He remained in that relationship until October 2018 and was damaging the mental health of two people. Jonathan’s ex boyfriend hasn’t moved on as Jonno lied and is still broken. What angers me the most is that Jonno claims to support causes that help people with mental health problems. He rises money and participates in events. But all that is to get people's attention. Jonno massively failed to see the state he drove to Ivan and his ex boyfriend beforehand. Jonno tricked Ivan to be there for him, to fall in love with him, to care for him, to support him and help him with everything he needed. And Jonno got it. He was cared for. He also tricked Ivan into moving away from his few friends. To move closer to him. That way John is close to his friends and family. I can see he kept saying to Ivan he wants them to have a house and dogs together. And every time they had the conversation Jonno was pointing out Ivan had to get a house in Jonathan's home town. John was using Ivan to get a better life. To have a house. To have financial stability after losing his job, to have what he wants and needs. To besafe and cared for. John made Ivan isolated, insecure and depressed. And he didn’t see that. Or he didn’t care. When Ivan was crying for help and support, Jonathan just left making matters worse. Feeling used, scared, lonely, depressed and insecure, Ivan was at the bottom of his emotional state. And we nearly lost him. I will stop here for now. I would like to ask you to think. Think how everyone has a choice. Everyone makes their own decisions. Think about the decisions Jon made. And then - be careful. Protect yourselves. There are people out there who seem really nice and will deceive you very well, but don’t fall for that. Think of yourselves first. Otherwise you might end up on the list of people Jonathan has taken advantage of and left behind to suffer once he couldn't exploit them anymore. I will publish a few more pieces, going into more detail about a few incidents of abuse that should come to light and will explain why Ivan feels the way he feels. But until then, please help me help Ivan. I'm far to be there for him, to hug him and to help him believe in life again. If you want to share your own story, drop me a line through the contact form on this website and let me help you through your hardest times. AK