notmyfault03

[notmyfault03]

21 now and everything is still the same…

[notmyfault03]

I’m trying to get my shit together this year I need to stop feeling sorry for myself.

But I just know this little motivation I have rn won’t last long

[notmyfault03]

She is me

I am her

[notmyfault03]

Y’all know how some research say smoking weed damages your brain. I don’t think those studies were wrong I’m not a pot head i actually have smoked in like 7 months but I do think it did some damage bc I was never like this

[notmyfault03]

I’m having breakdowns all bc I don’t know what I want to do in my life anymore. I realize I’ve never gotten time to think what I want career wise. I’m not good at writing, math, or science and when I do think of something I’d like to do I always lose motivation at the thought process

[notmyfault03]

I’m 20 no job no drivers license and not in school I hate having social anxiety I can never focus I’m always overwhelmed. It’s like I’m not even there it’s a weird thing I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like I’m not fully awake I need help I’m just to embarrassed to ask

[notmyfault03]

I wish I was never born

[notmyfault03]

It’s been five years I’m still in this loop I can’t get out I need help my life is falling apart I can’t stop the suicidal thoughts I don’t have anyone to talk to

[notmyfault03]

i miss him lmaoooo

[notmyfault03]

i’m so jealous of my best friend it’s like she has it all… ik that’s not the case but it seems like it in my eyes

[notmyfault03]

i wish i had a slim stomach i like the rest of my body just not my stomach and my arms just a lil

[notmyfault03]

ofc i like the attention i get from boys but do i need em ?

no ofc not ik that

[notmyfault03]

i want to scream so bad

i want to leave

i never wanted to born in the first place

but i also don’t want to end my life over something i know i can get help with right ?

idk i’ve been feeling like this for 2 years now i think…

[notmyfault03]

what’s wrong with me ? seriously i do think i’m an okay girl but why don’t ppl like talking to me? i dont understand…

[notmyfault03]

i’m jealous of every pretty girl i see bc i know… i just know i’ll never be them 

[notmyfault03]

i think i’m a bad person tbh

bad friend

bad daughter

just worthless i don’t have actually hobbies i do i do have some interest but i don’t actually do them bc i’m not good at them i’ve tried believe me i’m not talented in anything

[notmyfault03]

i liked the conversation we had

even if you didn’t actually mean them

bc ya know we really don’t even know each other

idk how you’re actually like in irl for all i know you could have been in relationship and probably cheating on her…