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i cant stop distancing myself like the littlest things that happen i would shut myself out from everybody and i dont even know why or how but yeah i do. and ill feel so guilty and nauseous and ill say sorry. and then repeat it again and again and again. people around me are starting to be fed up and i cant even blame them.

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2020 - 2021 went through like 5 phases.

dsmp.

kanye.

gatekeeping anime HARDCORE.

super thick eyeliner.

fluffiest hair on earth. (tangled asl too).

i didnt enjoy any of it either like PLS ,, i kept liking things that were trends because i wanted so much attention from everyone. i hate this.

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how do i erase my past. its so embarrassing.

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i'm so genuinely scared of my past. it haunts me and im so tired of thinking about it. i dont LIVE in the past but once i think about it, it never stops, you know? i hope he never finds my past because not only was i so mentally damaged, i was mentally damaged to others. im so scared.

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i love naming things after him. a new teddy bear? his name. flowers? his name.

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im really not a good person.

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i feel bad i want to cry

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i feel so bad for not saying hbd to my friend, i just cant say anything or im struggling to say anything to anyone this days. i wrote a paragraph but i dont think thats enough. maybe ill buy flowers.

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IM SO IN LOVE I WANT TO VOMIT

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im so her ??? like why you wont like me ??? im her ?????

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IM SO ATTRACTED TO HIM lol ????

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im so delulu that im delulu that im delulu.

ifykyk.

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its kinda hard to get views on tumblr but i figured i'll use it to update my life since tumblr is kinda on the low nowadays.

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she's still a 10 , just delulu <3

she's a 10 but she hyperfixates on fictional characters and makes up multiple scenarios with them in her head