nieck94

[nieck94]

It’s one of those days where I just wish I could come home to you, get a drink, crawl under the blanket on the couch with you and share about everything that happened today…

You were that person, the person I could tell anything, the things you don’t just share with anyone, you were that special someone.

[nieck94]

You have no idea how much is still miss you too.

Every day I wake up alone, missing that feeling what it felt like to be waking up next to you.

Sometimes I wish I could see you again and go for that coffee, hear your voice again, smell your perfume, look into your pretty eyes, just to catch up with you. But I think it would crush me, just thinking about the fact to be with you but not ‘being’ with you makes me emotional. I’m not angry anymore about how it all ended and all the things that happened, but it does still pains me when I think about it. Who knows where the future goes.

I hope you’re doing well, I really do.

You’ll forever be a part of me.

[nieck94]

I don’t know why but lately I’ve been thinking more and more about you.. maybe because it’s about a year ago that I’ve talked to you or saw you for the last time at the busstop. How I second guess not hugging you for that last time… looking you in the eyes for the last time.

I’ve accepted it. I know that in the end we wouldn’t make it. Even tho I wanted to make it work so badly I knew things needed to change. I know that.

I’ve forgiven you. I can’t hold a grudge, you know that. And I know you. I know you loved me and what we had was real. Everything that happened had it’s reasons. I’m happy for you.

For some reason I just keep thinking about you. And it keeps me from moving on. I don’t want to forget you because everything we did together was full of love and friendship. I can’t forget you because you’re in everything I do and see every day, even the smallest thing can remind me of something you said or did.

I sometimes dream about you and wake up sad because it was just a dream. When I get into bed I sometimes just wish you would crawl up next to me for a cuddle or that goodnight kiss.

I want to move on, I want to remember you the good way, with all the love we had for each other.

I still really miss you. My best friend, my love, you.

[nieck94]

I still think of you. Every. Single. Day. ❤️‍🩹

[nieck94]

My agenda still said ‘Best day ever💙🧡’, and it immediately took me back to all those memories.

It’s already almost a year being apart from you after spending 3 years day in day out with you.. I’m still not over you.. haven’t found happiness, I have my happy moments but I’m not there fully.. there still is that big void in my heart. It’s weird, I can’t really remember the last time I kissed you or hugged you tight. Somewhere I think that’s a good thing.. it means that I’m getting over you I guess.. but on the other hand it hurts even more because I miss those moments so much.

When seeing your profile picture I should be happy for you. You’re a mother now and that smile seems genuine. So I guess I’m happy for you. So much has changed in the last year. Remembering old memories, creating new ones.

I hope I can find that happiness again sometime soon. And find someone… someone to talk with, connect with, share with.. all the things I once did with you, because I miss it.. all of it, still… I hate being alone.

[nieck94]

[nieck94]

You said you never wanted to hurt me, but you hurt me the most

[nieck94]

[nieck94]

“Another night without kisses and cuddles.”

—

[nieck94]

“I think of you at 2am when I can’t sleep, and I wish you were here, and I wish you were holding me.”

—

[nieck94]

So Saturday nights still suck… every Saturday night I’ve spent alone I thought of you.. of how we used to share them after we both worked all day.. still you’re in my mind.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to meet anyone else.. I’m not made for this, I don’t even know what I want.. I knew what I wanted.. but that can’t happen anymore.. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do..

I just miss love so much..

[nieck94]

Just when you thought you’ve had things under control there is that one song on the radio that puts you right back at the start of that miserable moment… I don’t wanna look back anymore. I want to move on.. onto new things, new people, new relationships. I just want the good memories of you.. and not think of the bad shit anymore. I want te be better, become better..

Step by step, I’ll get there someday.

[nieck94]

I wish things were different

I wish it was 2018

I wish I was hugging you instead of this stupid pillow that won’t even keep me warm

Goodnight😞

[nieck94]

It’s days like these I miss it the most. The clouds make it dark, the rain makes it sad. The candles remind me of you.

How I miss those cozy Sundays, cuddle on the couch all day, order in food and watch Supernatural all night with some good drinks.

You are still so much in my thoughts.. with almost everything I do there is still a glimpse of you and the memories to remind me…

Letting love go is the hardest thing I’d ever done. And I’m still not finished..

[nieck94]

“I loved you with all of myself so when you left, you took me too.”

-8:40 PM

[nieck94]

“I’m homesick for arms that will never hold me again.”

[nieck94]

I am doing ok..

But it’s far from easy.. I miss it all so much..

I keep remembering things and thinking about all those things we did together while now I need to do it all by myself..

Maybe we’ll meet again someday😔

Even with everything that happened in the end I still hope you’re happy and healthy (the both of you..)

I really miss my best friend (and 🐰🐰)